Phoenix Love
by Kaleidoscopewriter
Summary: In 1960 a baby is left on the doorstep of Marius Black. Her name is Hermione, she has strange markings on her back, strong wandless magic and seer like abilities. Shes an object of mystery, greed and power to all of those around her and as time goes on many will covet her and she will make choices that will define the future. But for now she must deal with mischief, love and lust!
1. Marius

The sobs reigned in the forbidden forest like a wounded animal.

"Tell me what to do?" Hermione asked brokenly with Harry in her lap, her tears splattering on is dirty face. She held is head oh so gently, as if he would break under the feather light pressures of her finger tips.

"Hermione, I-" Harry whispered before a shuttering breath made his chest up rise and a pool of blood spurted out of his mouth.

"Harry!" Hermione screamed; her vision blurred with an endless flow of tears as she slowly watched the life fade from the vivid green eyes of Harry James Potter.

"Nonononono!" Hermione cried as Harry gazed upwards, letting out one last fleeting breath. "No! Harry stay with me! Please! You have to stay with me Harry! Don't leave...please, please don't leave me!" Hermione cried her head falling on his still chest. Sobs wracked her emaciated frame as she cried the tears worthy of a thousand years of sorrow.

Time stood still to her in a moment locked with only pain and grief. She had no thoughts to the length of time she stayed there crying, no care for the pitying tear filled eyes upon her.

Harry was dead, gone from her for the rest of her life. Now she would only have memories of when he was alive; she would never hear his voice again, feel his eyes upon her, or glide her hands over his pale white skin.

However, he was never going to be too far from her; he would haunt her memories everyday for the rest of her life.

And that was wrong! Harry wasn't supposed to die! He wasn't supposed to be a horocrux!

What was Dumbledore thinking? How could he possibly let this happen? How could he have knowingly sent Harry to his death? How did he expect that they, that she, would ever recover from the loss of him? Because he was _so_ _much_ _more_ than the boy who lived, so much more than the chosen one. He was Harry, emotional, sad, and the most optimistic person she knew!

No, if Dumbledore thought that sending Harry to his death was the only option, the only solution, then he was wrong! Simple as that. And it was up to Hermione to fix this horrible miscalculation.

Harry Potter will not die on this day because Harry Potter was not going to be a horocrux at all. Hermione was going to make sure of that...

...O,O...

Marius Black was a man who lived without a care or meaning. At a young age he learned of his own insignificance as his two older siblings wielded magic and promise with the ease of all pureblooded children and he could not. The experience of being at first, accepted and cultivated, to shunned and blasted off the family tapestry left dear Marius with little to no emotions. He was empty inside, filled with self hate and broken dreams. All this, simply because he could not wield magic and was reduced to being less than even a mudblood or a muggle for at least they had never been born with magic. But he had been and yet... he was a squib.

He will never forget the faces of the family who had spurned him and he will never forget the feelings of betrayal. However, he was still a Black and so he stayed living in the isolation that the family had placed him in- the muggle section of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He was not invited to family events and he was not there to see the birth of his younger sister, Dorea. But he was still a Black, at least in name.

So it came as a surprise when, many years later, he was invited to Dorea and Charlus Potter's wedding. For a long time he struggled on whether or not to attend. He was convinced it was some sort of cruel trick that would only lead to foul play.

He went anyway.

Yes, for all the pain and suffering the Black family and their pureblooded ideals put him through, he was starved for them- for their magical splendor. Prideful man that he is, he just couldn't admit that to himself.

When he arrived, he was shocked and disappointed to see that there was relatively no one there. Not his Father or Mother nor his brother Pollux or other sister Cassopeia. There were a lot of people however. He recognized none of them but he knew his sister instantly even without the added help of her white wedding gown to indicate so. It was all in her mannerisms. She screamed Black in her upright posture, tidy well kept appearance and even though she was obviously very far along in pregnancy, she stood in high heels and smiled as if she had not a care in the world.

When she had looked at him, he knew that she knew him instantly too. Their matching gray eyes as they met across the room, held equal sorrow, equal knowledge and equal bitterness that could only be wrought by Black family upbringing. They had talked for a little while privately, during which time he learned that his sister had been considered a disgrace for being pregnant out of wedlock and shunned for marry Charlus Potter who was quickly on the rise to being considered blood traitor status. He had listened to her express some sorrow at what could have been a very splendid sibling relationship between the two but had not said the same in return simply because he was jealous.

Petty though it be, Marius Black thought he could never really love nor be around wizards or witches, it hurt too much.

That all changed when he went back to his home at Grimmauld place that very night.

For a baby was lodged on the stoop of his door and this baby had a wand tucked in its tightly swathed blanket. And when said baby blinked it's watery brown eyes and looked at him with such open trusted need, old and bitter Marius Black had loved her instantly.

...O,O... Five years later...

Albus Dumbledore is a man who could, indisputably, wield powerful and gifted magic. When natural talent was born it was a beautiful thing but when it is cultivated and harnessed into something extraordinary, than that was simply a blessing. Albus Dumbledore had cultivated his natural talent instead of just riding it out and he had reaped the benefits of doing so, becoming the most talented wizard in the century.

But even Dumbledore himself doubted that what the little girl before him was achieving could be considered natural talent.

His blue eyes watched calculatingly from the window in the small kitchen of Grimmauld place a giggling girl playing on the small green backyard. He had been watching her all day, coming to Marius Black's household at his insistence that his daughter, Hermione, was something of a magical prodigy. Dumbledore hadn't really been interested at first- of course all magical children could do some impressive wandless magic at a young age and honestly he thought that maybe the well known squib was just exaggerating her feats, not used to such magical wonders.

He could now say shamefully that he was terribly wrong. Hermione Black was far from even being a prodigy, she was beyond exceptional... she was unheard of.

He watched as the girl continued to play in the dimming light of day with the fireflies. He watched as she'd disapparate and then apparate across the tiny yard trying to catch the little creatures into a little jar that she continued to enlarge in her tiny hands. He had watched earlier in the day as she stunned wandless and nonverbally a small bunny that had gotten in the tiny garden and than ran to it, picked it up and enerverated it back awake.

And the list of magical feats went on and on.

Dumbledore would be lying if he said that he did not covet the girl. Performing magic as children was something that was common but what this girl, with unmanageable brown locks and all absorbing brown eyes, was accomplishing was rewriting all that the wizarding world knew. She was performing magic like a house elf. Just a snap of her fingers and she seemed to be able to do everything a graduating Hogwarts student could do. It made Dumbledore wonder what she could do with a wand.

"I will hide her Marius." Dumbledore said without taking his eyes off the laughing girl. Marius frowned, staring at the old man before him with untrusting eyes.

"_You_ will hide her Albus?" Marius said coldly, a wave of possessive and fierce greed holding him. He had been raising the girl by himself for five years and knew first hand just how powerful she could be and he was proud that it was him who was chosen to raise her and he would not let anyone take that away from him; not after all that he had already been striped out of in his life.

Dumbledore's blue eyed gaze flickered and clashed with grey for only a second before he watched the girl once more.

"Years ago you had found this extraordinary girl on your doorstep with merely a wand and a note and you honorably took her in and raised her like your own," Dumbledore stated, his voice strangely solemn. "and now today, you asked me to come to see for myself the wonders of your daughter's magical ability... and now I must tell you your daughter must be hidden away. She will be coveted after by dark forces and hunted after like an animal if word got out about her. You know this, Marius and you are too close to those dark forces and she is too young to understand the extent of her powers to try to control them in front of others. It would be a great risk to keep her here." Dumbledore's eyes were stern and knowing as he gazed at Marius.

"My 'family' hasn't darkened my doorstep in over twenty years! So don't try to use some underhanded excuse with me! And I can protect my own daughter, Albus! You can hide us somewhere outside the country! We can flee to America or Australia or where ever-!"

"It would do no good Marius, no good at all." Dumbledore interrupted, shaking his head remorsefully. A wave of anger exploded in Marius as he slammed his fist in front of the old man.

"I will not let you take my daughter away from me! I had come to you out of trust! I thought you able to help us but you only want her power for yourse-"

"I want your daughter safe Marius, and out of evil doers who will turn her into nothing more than a killing weapon. And yes, I want to mold her powers with my own hands-"

"See! I never should have trusted you-"

"Listen to me old friend; I understand your pain and suffering but you know as well as I that there is only one place in this world where your daughter is safe and that is at Hogwarts... she must be trained so that she is not a threat to herself and able to protect her mind! It is inevitable that no matter where you take her she will be sought after wherever she goes... she must come to Hogwarts and be trained by the people you have known and trusted for years upon years, Marius. You know this...

...O,o... Four years later...

Hermione Black chewed idly on the pastry in her hand as her eyes flitted back and forth over the pages the book, Hogwarts: A History. The fire glowing in the fireplace a few feet away from her cast the large room in a homely glow that she used to read her favorite book.

But as she read, something subtle started happening to the girl. Her position, once relaxed and languid, grew tense and her mouth pinched into a frown and her brow furrowed as she drew her pretty little legs into herself. She continued reading, however, subconsciously dropping her pastry to clutch her book with white knuckles as she grit her teeth and tried to focus on the words before her but already her mind was fading, her eyes unfocusing...

Slowly a white light started glowing from her eyes and her mouth, which opened to admit out a long loud bird like cry. Her brown hair started flouting all around her and she hovered slightly off the couch, the book falling onto the couch... _Please!I don't want to!_ was Hermione's last thought before her surroundings faded...

_The forest was dark. She was hungry and tired but her brown eyes were still alert as she eyed the darkness around her. _

_"Harry, I'm really unsure of this..." _

_"Oh will you pipe it down already! We don't have a choice Hermione!"_

_"But we're supposed to find the horocrux Ron! Harry," Hermione said, desperately gripping the black haired green eyed boy's arm with both her hands very tightly as she fearfully stared into his face. "this is a bad idea, please trust me on this! I think this is a very very stupid and rash thing to do!" _

_"Ron's right though, Hermione. We have to do this." the boy responded dully, a flicker of hurt flashed on the girls face before she let him go. _

_"You'll listen to Ron over me, Harry?" She whispered, stepping very close to him so their grumpy and annoyed red headed friend would not hear. Green eyes stared sad but determined into wounded and resigned brown._

_"I'm not going to listen to innocent people getting killed just because its too risky Hermione. My life isn't worth any more than theirs even if I'm the only one who can stop him." he responded, though he reached out and gripped her hand comfortingly before letting it drop. _

_The girl sighed as she turned away but raised her wand and continued further into the words nonetheless. For a while nothing happened except that the three famished and dirty teenagers would occasionally jump as howls sounded in the far distance. _

_Hermione just couldn't help but feeling all wrong as they continued further and further and so she stopped the boys one last time._

_"You both are sure you absolutely want to continue?" she asked sternly as the light of the moon brightened their path slightly so she could see Ron roll his eyes and Harry clench his jaw. _

_"Yes already Hermione!" Ron said exasperated as Harry nodded. She sighed once more before pointing her wand at Harry who just blinked. _

_"Alright, but you'll need to let me at least put some protective charms and spells on both of you." she said before uttering complex words in latin and drawing hard figures in the air that created a glow around each of her companions and herself. Both boys raised their eyes, impressed as Hermione shrugged and then walked a full wide cirlcle around the boys muttering as she went, occasionally stopping to draw points onto the ground. _

_"Uh, Hermione what are you doing?" Ron questioned to which Hermione just shot him a glance and continued her spell work. When she was done a fiery looking circle blazed for a moment around them before residing. _

_"It's a protective circle for when we leave here, in case we can't make it back to the campsite." she explained, nervously looking into the dark expanse of woods as something howled at a nearer distance and a wind blew ominously in the otherwise still night. _

_"That's brilliant!" Harry said, giving Hermione a small smile that she returned. And then they continued on, the air seeming to oppress them with fear and nervousness. _

_And then suddenly they weren't alone, as five figures, two exceedingly short, came running out of the trees and straight into the three. Shocked they stopped and watched as the five bounced hard away from them, Hermione's protective spell glowing upon the impact to a strong invisible shield. _

_Wide eyed but reacting quickly, Harry pointed his wand at the figures and cast a nonverbal spell to bind them, Hermione and Ron quickly following suit._

_"Stop please!" one voice said weekly, freezing the three as they stared incrediously at one figure on the ground. _

_"Dean!" the three bellowed staring at their dark skinned friend, who glared up at them. _

_"Shhh!" he hissed as his eyes flickered all around the trees nervously. "Are you trying to kill us!" he hissed as the three undid their spells and helped the three men and two goblins onto their feet. _

_"What's going on here?" __"Why are you guys here?__"What was all that yelling?" the three all questioned at once as the other five nervously flickered their gazes all about. _

_"Shh, you nimwits! There are dark creatures in these forests...dark dark creatures!" hissed one of the goblin's, his beady eyes going back and forth frantically as a howl rose once more." _

_"What kind of dark creatures?" Hermione asked nervously as right at that moment a scream so horrified and shrill sounded in the night around them. Wide eyed, they all stared into the darkness before Harry went running ahead. _

_"HARRY!" Hermione screamed before running into the darkness after him. She could hear Ron following behind her. They stormed down, Hermione barely able to see two feet in front of her even with the light of her wand. _

_"Harry!" She cried, as the forest became eerily quiet with only the sounds of her ragged breathing and pounding heart. Fear was not an emotion, just the need to make sure that Harry was alright, to protect him... _

_She could see him running full speed ahead into a break in the trees. She followed quickly behind, Ron creeping up from behind her to charge after Harry. She froze when she made it to the tiny clearing, her eyes absorbing the scene in a split second. _

_There were five men, and something mangled and deformed a few paces away. In front of the men stood Harry, wand upright and screaming off spells that did not deter the creatures before him. _

_And Merlin help them, those creatures were foul. Hunched beings with black scales, long pointed fingers and elongated mouths, resembling closely to the creature in the movie Aliens that she once saw a life time ago with her parents. They moved soundlessly and seemed to blend with the night entirely, moving fast and flying upwards into the sky picking off people in the process. The screams that sounded out of sight from those people where absolutely terrifying..._

_Hermione acted in an instant, she knew what to do with these sort of creatures..._

_"Eximu Lumos Spectrumous!" Hermione cried pointing her wand skyward. Gently, like a tiny firefly, a white light sprouted from her wand and moved gracefully up into the middle of the clearing above their heads, it hovered there for a moment before the light turned blinding, encompassing their surroundings completely like a miniature sun. _

_The power that light admitted took over Hermione's senses until what felt like hours later, the light faded and Hermione was able to see and feel again. _

_And she immediately threw up. _

_There before her were at least ten of those evil creatures, burnt to a crisp and twitching, their disgusting long tongues lolling out of their mouths. And the smell was putrid. It burnt her senses and made her eyes water. She cupped a hand around her mouth and backed away, she tripped on one of those things behind her and feel into a pile of them. _

_Shaking and horrified, Hermione tried to crawl backwards away but they were every where and the stench was making her head spin and she was pretty sure she would faint. And then it got worse as her eyes feel upon one of the victims._

_His skin was completely pulled tight, and drained to look like some demented skull, his eyes bulging outwards with red veins, his mouth wide open frozen forever in a lasting scream. It was hideous. _

_Hermione felt like she had stepped into a nightmare... a living endless nightmare and only the fingers gripping onto her upper arm were real. The pain of the flesh being dug into brought Hermione back from the cusp of dangerous territory. _

_"Hermione, we have to get out of here!" Harry's strained, panicked voice said with biting urgency. Hermione blinked numbly, as if waking from a long slumber, and stared at Harry uncomprehendingly for a moment before she registered his pained expression and the dire situation. Quickly she stood up on shaking knees and shot a quick gaze to Ron who was so pale in the darkness as he struggled to hold up two limp men. She strode over onto the other side of him, trying to process nothing as they hurriedly escaped from the woods. _

_Few minutes later the strain on all of them veered its ugly face as Harry exhausted fell onto a knee trying to keep the weight of the other man from making him collapse. Tiredly, Hermione looked at him and moved with Ron to help him get up. But they stilled when they heard the sound..._

_"What was that?" Ron whispered fearfully. Hermione stilled everything, even her breathing as she tried to pick up any offending sound. When nothing else passed Hermione moved back to Harry nearly dropping the man she and Ron were holding up as she hit her head._

_"Oh how could we be so stupid!" Hermione said before waving her wand at the three barely conscious men. They sprung up and hovered above the air as Harry and Ron visibly sighed with relief.  
_

_"Can't believe we didn't think of that before." Harry said as Ron nodded. _

_"That's why have Hermione," Ron said with a shaky grin to Hermione who tried to return it. "Even if she's a bit late she can solve any problem." _

_And then they continued forward, Hermione tried not to think of the threatening sounds in the distance. She tried put one foot in front of the other. _

_But then all hell broke lose..._

Hermione felt the wave of images plague her very soul as they pounded into her mercilessly. When she came to, she had found herself on the floor with a great big bruise where her thigh must have hit the table in front of the couch.

She barely even felt it though, her body was shaking uncontrollably, so much that her teeth were chattering, and she was sweating profusely. Tear streamed steadily down her face and her teeth were gritted so tightly they ached. She knew she was going to throw up and managed to roll over right before she puked right onto the rug.

And still the shivering and sweating wouldn't stop and she continued to dry heave long after. It was only when her body had finally realized she had no more to heave did she get up. With a wave of her hand the vomit disappeared and she used all couches, chairs, tables and walls to brace herself as she made her slow trek to her bathroom where she splashed water onto her face and neck and tried to breathe and calm herself.

But the images never left her. They burned behind her eyes unyielding. She wished she could stop them, that she could just obliviate them all away...she wished she had never seen the three men they had just risked their lives to save being mauled and ripped to shreds right before their eyes by manicores, she wished she hadn't seen the soulless white eyes of the yeti's as they stood eating the first group of five men, including Dean, only a few feet away from Hermione and Harry's safe ground.

It made her sick to know that she had seen, heard and smelled all those things only to apparate away without a single soul to claim they saved...just memories that haunted them ceaselessly. She couldn't let these emotions consume her, however, and so she took a deep breath, focused her mind and tried to regain her composure and moved out of the bathroom. Immediately she went to the window to look at like she always did to gaze at the castle sitting majestically in the distance.

It took a while before she felt stable again and when she did she moved with practice ease to do her next task. Get Dumbledore.

The portrait of Kendra Dumbledore was bland, with one red curtain obscuring most of the frame and a tiny wooden chair by a horrible patterned wall and old fashioned oil lamp. Hermione crept up to it and tapped lightly on the frame.

"Mrs. Dumbledore." Hermione called into the picture and seconds later Kendra appeared. Her hair was raven black and piled on her head in an old fashion style that made her appear stern. She wore a completely black dress that covered everything and had white trim on the high neck line and hands and seemed terribly warm to wear. But for all her gloom and doom appearance Kendra was a lovely woman who was supremely kind to Hermione; her hazel eyes met brown with all the fondness of a mother and she smiled a warm closed lip smile that Hermione returned with her own.

"Hermione, darling." Kendra greeted boisterously before frowning. "Oh, I'll go fetch my son right away." she said before hurrying off, not needing Hermione to explain.

Hermione sighed and then moved to sit by the fire place. It wasn't long until Hermione heard the sounds of footsteps climbing the stairs just before the entrance and with a flick of her wrist the door opened and admitted Dumbledore.

"Hermione," he said, his face gravelly serious as he came before her. "It has happened again?" It was not a question, one look at Hermione's face and it was obvious to see. He sat down on the couch looking completely out of place in the room with his fancy royal purple robes and pointed hat no matter how many times he had come to the shack to see her. The grave expression on his face was uncharacteristic of the normally boisterous old man but was a very common expression to Hermione.

"Do you need me to fetch Madam Poppy?" He asked carefully in consideration but Hermione shook her head; she knew that Dumbledore was eager to find out what she had seen.

And as Hermione contemplated her next words, he too pondered. His blue eyes- not for the first time- evaluated the mysteries of the girl before him. She was unlike anything he had ever witnessed before.

She sat before the fire with an exhaustion in her eyes unlike anything a child should ever hold. At times she was serious and thoughtful with a matureness that was astounding and well beyond her age. Yet, he also knew the girl to be childish with her wonder of the castle; her ideals on world she understood to be dark and evil unlike most children, still had that dream-filled fantasy for a perfect utopia. Sometimes she was completely a child without a care in the world; she would become emotional and demanding. Other times it was as if she was a forty year old woman, haunted and depressed. Two extremes trapped into one that was Hermione Black.

Dumbledore would admit that he had contemplated on the girl being possessed by a different entity, with two souls in one body. It was still a possibility he was looking into, especially after the discovery of the strange markings on the girl's back. However, intuition was nagging at him to consider broader options, options that were far more complicated than mere possessions.

Either way, she was something to be kept well hidden which he had been doing successfully since she was brought to his attention four years ago. He was not ashamed for taking her away from Marius and hiding her in what he had deemed the shrieking shack. It had been a convenient hiding place away from the ears of the students and most of the staff yet close enough for him to come at any time and for her to still be protected by the wards and magic of Hogwarts.

"Professor," Hermione finally spoke with a deadpanned voice and her eyes staring out into the flames of the fire. "I saw death tonight, death and creatures far darker than the night. As dark as the obis of hell. They slaughtered all who we knew and took great pleasure in or torment and pain."

Dumbledore shook his head forlornly at her words his mind racing. He knew that the one he was speaking to was not a child at the moment. She spoke with the words of a seer or an oracle and so Dumbledore had long since learned to merely listen and to not question her at these times.

"You were with Harry and Ron, of course." He said to which she nodded.

"Of course."

"And you and Harry were unharmed but had to bare witness to these cruel events?"

"Yes."

"And what was the reason? The underlying point?"

"He was hunting all whose blood impure and feet spurned by fire."

"Muggleborns and people of the order?"

"Yes. Many fled to the woods but he has unleashed foul beasts when he learned of them being able to live in the woods without the magic he stripped from them. He did so to make it clear that there would be no place safe for them to hide and they would receive a horrendous unthinkable death for even trying."

"I see." Dumbledore spoke with a contemplative nature. A long paused followed in which Dumbledore absentmindedly pulled out a lemon drop from his purple robes and started to suck on.

"Professor, you have kept me long enough from Marius...and you can't hid me here for much longer. You know why, I have already warned you to the wolf's coming...what will you do?" she spoke in that same deadpanned voice.

Dumbledore only had time to glance at her with his all knowing eyes just before Hermione's head fell forward and she fainted.

A/N: I know I shouldn't be doing this...Another story on top of three that I'm already working on but I couldn't help but post this one! If you liked it I have some questions I'd like to ask so please answer in a review! Excluding of course the obvious... Did you like it?

1. What are your opinions on flashback moments in stories? Annoying or fun? 2. I've made it so that there could be interactions between Hermione/Sirius/James even before Hogwarts (If you look at the family tree J.K Rowling made you'll see Marius Black is technically Jame's Uncle and Marius lives right next to his niece Walburga) Would you like to see an interaction between the three before first year? 3. Do you want a Hermione/Lily/Serverus friendship bond in the story? How about Lucius/Bellatrix drama?


	2. Sirius

Thanks to the wonderful and amazing** HarryPotterFanFictionWriter **for this beta update!

* * *

O_O...Half a year later...

Snow fell wondrously as Hermione bounced up and down anxiously from across number 13 Grimmauld Place. She glanced up at Dumbledore who was holding her hand and he smiled at her excited expression.

"Ah, the joys of Christmas holidays! I daresay I do find myself anxious for a visit from Santa Claus and often stay up on Christmas Eve to catch a glance of him coming down my chimney but alas! he has proved to be most allusive!" He said as they made their way across the street.

"That's silly Professor!"

"Silly though it maybe Miss. Black, I have yet to miss a Christmas!"

Hermione laughed pleasantly just as the door opened before them with a tired looking Marius standing in the threshold with a smile. Hermione squealed and launched herself at the man who laughed and lifted her off her feet with the force of his hug.

"Uncle Marius!" Hermione cried happily into his neck as he patted her unruly brown hair from his face. For a second Marius met Dumbledore's eyes and there was no friendliness to his gaze but that shifted quickly when Hermione pushed back and gazed into his face with a smile. "I have missed you!"

"I as well, princess! I as well..." he said as Hermione once again hugged him tight before Marius set her down on her feet. Hermione immediately latched onto Marius's hand and practically dragged him over to the sitting room, rambling nonstop as she went.

"Uncle Marius, you did put the Christmas tree up this year right? And the angel? Did you put the angel on; you know how much a love that angel! She sparkles and sings Christmas carols!"

"Yes, I know Hermione, but I wouldn't dream of putting on the angel without you." Marius said as Hermione jumped up and down.

"Oh, thank you Uncle! Thank you! I can't wait to put it on and watch it sing-ommygosh! You really made it pretty in here uncle! It's snowing! It's snowing indoors!" Hermione cried excitedly as they came to the room with the tree perched in the corner of the room all lit up and snow fell prettily from the ceiling. Hermione's brown eyes seemed to glow in the fire of the light with excitement and wonder as she jumped up and tried to touch it. Marius laughed at the girl who has grown to love like his own. So much so that he actually decorated his tiny place in Grimmauld so that he may see the look of happiness on her face.

"I'm glad you like it." Marius said smiling, his voice mixed with pleasure and sadness as he watched the girl running around the room. He felt Dumbledore come up from behind him and tensed automatically. He glared as the other man came to stand beside him with resentment and anger brewing in his stormy grey eyes.

"I know what you must think of me Marius and I do not blame you for it." Dumbledore said in low tones as he watched Hermione buzzing around. Marius's glare intensified as he struggled not to scream in outrage.

"And do you really think that I would care if you blamed me or not! You deserve it; you deserve the resentment from not only me but from her too! You've stripped her of a childhood, secluded her and kept her like a damn collector's item just to use her for your own means!" Marius hissed harshly at him as Dumbledore sighed tiredly and opened his mouth to speak but Marius cut him off.

"Don't you dare feed me some ridiculous for the greater good pish posh-" Marius started before he was distracted by the sound of Hermione's gasp. Immediately his head turned to her with worry for he knew all that Hermione was capable of but it was all for not when he saw that she was hugging his house elf Jiffy.

"Oh, Jiffy! You look smashing!" Hermione cried with her arms around the elf that shifted uncomfortably under the girl.

"Why thank you mistress! Jiffy knew mistress was coming back home for the holidays so she decided to please mistress with a festive garland..." the house elf said brightly when Hermione released her. Hermione giggled madly at the wreath around Jiffy's neck before fetching one for herself, putting it around her own and posing.

"There! Now we're matching!" Hermione said as Jiffy exclaimed jovially, "Jiffy is so honoured to be like mistress!"

Marius chuckled and barely noticed when Dumbledore did the same but when he did he immediately stopped, not about to have a laugh with the man he held such tumultuous feelings for. Dumbledore continued to laugh though as he watched her and when he was done he sighed and turned back to Marius, an all knowing look in his eyes.

"I want that girl's laughter just as you do Marius, I can assure you. I want it for all my students even when it might seem otherwise. I realize now, however, that I have made a miscalculation. I should have been more giving to you and I'm sorry that I haven't but Hermione is a remarkable young witch who has so eloquently set me right. I will not keep you two apart any longer. Except, of course, for when the time of her departure to Hogwarts comes." Dumbledore stated as Marius reeled at the sudden news.

"Then, that means that you're-" Marius said, struggling for words as Dumbledore just simply nodded.

"Yes, it means exactly what you think Marius. I am letting Hermione into Hogwarts as a student. She's made it evident that she will simply not put up with my 'overbearing ways' and I must admit there is little doubt that I can do anything to stop her from attending at this point."

"But...what about the other students?! What about her power?!" Marius exclaimed as an expression passed over Dumbledore's face that he just couldn't place. At Dumbledore's silence Marius felt his temper rising. "So what? You take from me for four years! Four years Albus just to tell me that it was all for naught! You said you would protect her!"

"And I will Marius! However, I am not privy to driving Hermione into a corner! I have trained her to block her mind, I have given her all the necessary training she will need and she knows the risks and how she must act as to not draw suspicions. The rest is up to her and I plan to trust her as she has trusted you and me." Dumbledore retorted as Marius just blinked at him stunned and Hermione finally quieted down and faced them with a surprisingly aware and mature face. Marius just watched in shocked silence as she flashed him a knowing, sad sort of smile but continued to play with the elf. For a long minute he just stayed staring at her before he swallowed thickly and returned his gaze to Albus.

"Alright Dumbledore...alright." was his tired reply knowing, just as he did almost five years ago that there was so much more going on, so much beyond his control. Sad eyes peered at the girl again who was laughing at something the house elf had said.

"There is one more thing I need to tell you Marius about what we are going to do with Hermione's mind...

...O_O... A week later

The sky above was a pure white colour and Hermione watched it as she made snow angels on the ground in the miniature backyard of Grimmauld; her thoughts were far away until a loud bang sounded from next door.

Curious, Hermione sat up from her spot and listened to hear any more noise. She nearly screamed when two hands suddenly appeared, gripping the top of the tall, large brown fence that veiled the entire property. She watched in fascination as a boy climbed harrowingly over, a feat far easier said than done, and then practically floated down to the ground.

Hermione's eyes opened wide as she saw him touch down with barley a sound before he was racing across the yard and over to the other side of the fence without even realizing she was there.

This boy was magical! Hermione knew it! Just like the man called Dumbledore who sometimes visited her...

So stunned was she that she merely just watched him as he again climbed the fence before vaulting over. As soon as his head disappeared, however, Hermione snapped back and sprang into action, picking herself up from the ground and running to climb the fence. Just as she reached the top, unfortunately, she saw his black head of hair disappearing over the fence on the other side.

Hermione felt a well of panic that she would lose him and so she scrambled down the other side and sprinted with all her might over to the other fence climbing it with haste and cutting her knees without a care. She had just managed to get to the top before seeing the boy wiggle through a wired fence at the back of the yard.

Wide eyed and breathless but filled with a thrill she never felt before, Hermione jumped down from the fence, not pausing at the sharp pains in her foot she felt upon impact, and sprinted to the hole at the bottom of the fence, wiggling herself through and getting her hair caught in the treacherous wire.

Hermione groaned and fussed with her hair before yanking it in frustration leaving some of it behind and launching herself up from the ground. She looked all around her at the vast hills and her heart plummeted when she did not see the boy. She continued up the nearest hill anyway and actually squealed with delight when she saw the boy running, no sprinting, across the field and into the wide span of trees in the distance.

Excited, Hermione sprinted immediately after him, her hair whipping around her with a chilling wind.

"Wait!" She screamed as she ran, waving her arms like mad in hopes to catch the boys attention. The boy did not wait in the least, but continued at break neck speeds to the trees. Hermione gasping did not pause when she came to the trees but continued to go full speed ahead following the tiny trail in the woods. She continued through the harrowing path, stumbling as she went but holding fast with determination.

A flash of grey was all the warning Hermione had before she face planted into the dirt. It was a harsh fall that filled her mouth with dirt and kicked her legs up behind her with the force. Hermione was momentarily stunned and stayed down there for a whole minute not even registering the barking laughter of the boy. When she did, Hermione rolled over onto her back and glared up at him, spitting out the dirt daintily and trying to salvage her bruised pride as she stood and wiped the snow and dirt off of her. The boy just continued to laugh, bowled over gripping his sides and Hermione felt her ire increase as she watched him.

"Was that really that funny? Tripping a girl like that? Really groovy!" She said sarcastically with frustration as she kicked snow at the boy, realizing too late that he wasn't covered with a coat. "Oh! I'm sorry!" Hermione apologized reflexively making the boy shoot her an odd look. "Where is your coat?" Hermione cried as the boy straightened to his full height. He didn't answer, instead just eyed her contemplatively through his dark thick hair with his head slightly tilted. For a moment Hermione thought he looked kind of cute.

"Why were you following me?" the boy demanded and immediately Hermione retracted her previous thought not liking his tone. He was snooty and obviously demanding, not to mention mean for tripping her.

"I'm not gonna answer you if you're not gonna answer me!" Hermione humphed stubbornly, and crossed her arms. A look of amusement passed on the boy's face as he came towards her making Hermione eye him wearily though she refused to back away. And with no regard to personal space, the boy stepped right up to her and smiled down at her making Hermione most confused.

"My name is Sirius." he said happily as Hermione just frowned at him with even more uncertainty and took a deliberate step back. Was this kid possibly crazy?

"I'm Hermione." she responded slowly in a cautious manner that turned shocked when he just took another step into her space. Sirius wrinkled his nose at her and Hermione, again, took another step back, to which he matched, again, with one of his own.

"I don't like that, not at all. It's too long. I'm calling you Buttons!" he announced as Hermione balked at him and nearly tripped as she walked backwards.

"Wait, what? No! I'm not Buttons, I'm Hermione! Her-My-Oh-Nee! Hermione! I hate nicknames!" Hermione ordered smartly as Sirius just shrugged and continued his pursuit.

"Hey, Buttons! Are you muggle?" He asked as Hermione glared at him.

"Muggle? And don't call me Buttons!" she asked, yelling the last part more like an afterthought. This made the boy smile brightly at her, displaying a remarkable set of pearly white teeth with slightly larger canines. Hermione took a moment to appreciate his good teeth; it was something she always appreciated. "Why are you smiling?"

"Excellent! So my dear Buttons is muggle! Where do you live?" he asked with an eager drawl, completely ignoring her questions.

"Around, I just moved back here and wait- why do I have to answer all your questions but you haven't answered a single one of mine?!" She exclaimed finally stopping when he wouldn't seem to step away from her personal space. Sirius just smirked.

"Where did you move from?"

"Scotland." Hermione answered automatically before groaning with displeasure. Sirius laughed a barking laugh that made Hermione's ire rise.

"Hey! Don't laugh!" Hermione cried but it fell on deaf ears and Hermione stomped her foot in frustration.

"I like you Buttons-"

"Well I don't like you!" She cried but he just continued on as if not interrupted.

"You're my first muggle friend!" he said happily, swooping down quickly to kiss her cheek unexpectedly. Hermione froze like a deer in the headlights for a minute as she raised her hand to touch her cheek but Sirius continued to prattle on as if nothing weird happened.

"Do you actually have one of those...what are they called... Oh! TVs?!" Sirius asked as Hermione just gazed at him stunned.

"What is the matter with you!" she cried with her hand still to her cheek as Sirius smiled innocently.

"Nothing's the matter with me. Is something the matter with you?" he asked seriously as Hermione just frowned.

"You are very weird. It's like your completely not listening to me!" Hermione stated crossing her arms and putting her nose into the air. Sirius laughed at her again before throwing an arm heavily over her shoulders in a casual display of friendship. Hermione just gazed with disbelief at the offending arm as he directed them further into the trees.

"Hey! Where are we going?" She asked which again Sirius ignored.

"Hey Buttons, do you believe in ghosts?" he asked completely out of left field which made Hermione so shocked she answered immediately.

"No."

"Well, they're real! I promise you buttons! Muggles like you can't see them but ghosts are there and I'm going to take you to one." Sirius said as they continued on-wards to which Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ghosts aren't really real. Most people only think that they see ghosts but many times we just think that something is there when it's really not since light reflecting off the surfaces of-"

"Wow Buttons, you talk a lot!" Sirius stated as he focused on the trail. Hermione just stared at him with her mouth agape for his rudeness.

"But you've been asking all the que-"

"I see ghosts all the time, you see! It's really weird to think that you can't see them. I guess you're kind of lucky since ghosts are right annoying anyway... not as annoying as mum though! Hey, if I showed you a ghost would you be scared Buttons?" he asked but angered, Hermione refused to speak to him. Sirius didn't seem to care anyway as he continued to ramble as they neared an old barely standing cabin made out of rotten wood and straw. Hermione eyed it with apprehension, interrupting Sirius.

"You aren't planning to take me in there are you?" Hermione asked, uncrossing her arms and pointing to the cabin before them. Sirius smirked again.

"Right-o Buttons! We're going into there!" Sirius said as Hermione shook her head.

"Oh no I am not! Are you mad? That place is about to fall down-"

"Oh don't be a scaredy-cat! It's alright! It's just a bit worn down since no one has taken care of it once Sir Williams died but-"

"No! I am not going in there! That is not a 'bit worn down! It's falling apart! Look at the roof!" Hermione cried pointing to the fallen roof imploringly.

"It's fine!" Sirius said practically shoving Hermione inside, making Hermione stumble slightly on the old wood floors as Sirius came in right behind her.

"Easy there! Hey Sir Williams!" Sirius started to yell making Hermione look up sharply at him as his grey eyes searched all around the place, flashing her a confident smile as he continued to call for this 'Sir Williams' character.

"You're mad!" Hermione cried as Sirius smiled over his shoulder at her and walked over to the old handmade stool next to an old incredibly small table with an old fashioned mug.

"No, I'm Sirius." he said playing with his name which made Hermione shake her head. However, she made no move to leave and followed Sirius as he walked into the small room that had an old straw hay bed in the corner. It was pretty fascinating even without the so called ghost.

"This must have been somebody's home." Hermione whispered for some reason, picking up a ladle as Sirius nodded still smiling.

"Yeah, it was Sir Williams's house but he died in 1777. Real unlucky chap, he was... See, I found this place a while ago and Sir Williams was hanging around here, said he lost his life because he broke his neck in a bad fall. Said he had planned to get married the next month but his fiancé didn't know why he never turned up to get married and so he's been haunting the place ever since..."

"You're being serious aren't you?! You really think you can talk to ghosts!" Hermione said as Sirius smirked again and too late Hermione realized her mistake and she groaned and hit her forehead as he laughed.

"I'm always Sirius, Buttons!" He said with amusement just before a low howl sounded. Hermione and Sirius both jumped, Sirius almost smashing into the table behind him as their eyes swivelled to the black streak of fur that shot like a rocked across the floor and over to a darkened corner.

Wide eyed the pair watched the quivering mass of raven coloured hair before Sirius stepped closer to it.

"No! Wait!" Hermione said moving over to him quickly but Sirius was already turning around, a tiny black puppy with startling electric blue eyes shivering in a bundle in his arms. Hermione's heart broke at the sight of the poor animal obviously malnourished and dirty. Sirius was making calming cooing sounds and stroking the frightened animal that couldn't help but snuggle into Sirius's warmth.

Hermione's brown eyes meet surprisingly sympathetic grey.

"What should we do?" Hermione asked as Sirius turned sad.

"Can you take him in?" he asked and Hermione bit her lip, wondering and remembering for the first time her Uncle who was probably beside himself with worry. Hermione squashed the feeling of panic that rose through her at remembering to contemplate the dog's fate.

"I don't know." Hermione answered honestly as Sirius nodded.

"Well, I'm pretty sure my parents would kill her and then give her to the house elf to cook for dinner so I'm definitely out unless I sneak her into my room and manage to hide her." Sirius said as Hermione bit her lip and looked down at the tiny puppy. Her heart melted as those wide, scared and beautiful eyes, much like the eyes of the boy holding her.

"I'll take her." Hermione decided. Sirius smiled down at her and laughed.

"Yep, I knew we'd be great friends Button!" Sirius said for some reason as he chuckled. Hermione just rolled her eyes at the strange boy and smiled, reaching out her own hand to pet the pup.

"What should her name be?" Hermione asked as Sirius sat down on the floor with Hermione following suit, using her scarf to wrap the pup in some warmth.

"Shadow?"

"Absolutely not! Stella!"

"That's too girly! Raven."

"She's not a bird! What about Josie?"

"That's a horrid name, Buttons, really! Josie-" he shuddered and Hermione felt her ire rise again, killing the strange friendliness that developed with the dog's appearance.

Ten minutes later...

"Alright! I give up! You're impossible!" Hermione cried throwing up her hands in frustration.

"Well, it's not my fault you have ghastly taste in names!" Sirius said as Hermione just huffed.

"No better than yours...I mean Pricilla...that's a riot."

"Then fine! I give up too!"

"Fine, than she just won't have a name! We'll just call her nameless or zero! For Heaven's sake!" A pause followed. "I was kidding Sirius."

"Why not? It's a fine name! Zero!"

"No, it's a horrible name! You can't call a dog Zero! It's mean!"

"Oh come off it! It's brilliant!"

"No! Absolutely not!"

And so the dog was grudgingly (for Hermione) dubbed Zero after much argument. Sirius followed Hermione all the way back to the fences but Hermione instead of jumping through all those fences opted to walk all away around the entire lot to the front and then down the sidewalk till she got to the front door of Grimmauld place.

At first Marius was beside himself with anger and then after he had ranted and screamed, he grabbed hold of and hugged her tight making Zero yelp between them. Hermione thought she could see tears in his eyes but never got a chance to see for sure because Marius had quickly turned away and shuffled out of the room.

Hermione was able to keep Zero; however, she was not able to see Sirius again until a little over a week later when it was officially 1971. She had told Uncle Marius -when it was safe to mention the incident- all about the strange boy named Sirius who was a jerk but whom she wanted to see again. She told her Uncle all the strange things he would say and her uncle turned strangely pale. The very next day she was visited by the man Dumbledore again who was definitely magical and who asked her a lot of weird questions like if she was seeing anything lately, or if anything weird or strange had happened to her as he stood behind her and did something out of her line of sight. Hermione always

felt strangely muddled afterwards and so she really started to hate when Dumbledore would come over.

Besides, nothing strange happened to her anyway. Only Sirius. She told Dumbledore that even though Sirius was seriously annoying she wanted to see him again and Dumbledore had sighed and said alright and gave her Uncle the okay, though she had no idea why it had to be run through him anyway. The next day, Marius did not tell her she couldn't leave the house when she asked to go outside and so she left.

She wasn't sure if Sirius would be there but she waited with Zero by the forest anyway and soon after Sirius had come. He had been curt with her at first, not nearly as talkative as before and played with Zero a lot. Hermione, in boredom and frustration, had lay down on the cold snowing ground and then rolled herself down the hillside. It was fun and got Sirius's attention.

Soon, after many rolls down the hill, Sirius was back to being his talkative annoying self and Hermione was relieved. They hung out almost every day afterwards and then the next thing Hermione knew she was actually friends with the prat...

...O_O...

"Hey Buttons..." Sirius's voice called, interrupting the comfortable silence between the two as they lay on their backs looking up at the clouds far above them. Sirius was lying with his feet north and his head south and Hermione was lying with her head right next to his but the opposite way, Zero was sleeping peacefully on Sirius's chest after tiring herself out playing. They had been silent for a while after Zero had fallen asleep, each indulging in their own thoughts. At the sound of his voice, Hermione 'hmmed' a response to signify she was listening but when Sirius turned his head to face her, Hermione did the same and was caught by surprise at how close they were their noses practically touching as they faced each other. Sirius's eyes went wide and he quickly turned his head and Hermione missed the cute blush that formed on his cheeks.

"Err, yeah Sirius?" Hermione said with her heart strangely pounding. She hadn't realized it till then but Sirius had some really stunning eyes.

"Err..." Sirius started and then paused; Hermione sighed and faced him again, eyeing his graceful profile and the light colour his eyes turned from the side. She watched suddenly really curious at what he had to say as Sirius's face scrunched with frustration and he raised his hands that had been stroking Zero to run them through his shiny black hair.

"What's wrong Sirius?" Hermione asked with genuine concern as Sirius gave her a side long glance.

"Do you think...is there anyway...you're not...err..." Sirius trailed off and Hermione couldn't help but giggle at him as he couldn't help but smile at her giggle.

"Just spit it out!" Hermione said smiling as Sirius sighed and then faced her again without a care to the close distance. Hermione tried to tell herself she didn't care either but her heart was pounding strangely in her chest.

"Do you think I could give you some of my magic?" Sirius asked seriously as Hermione's eyes widened.

"Wha-" Hermione started shocked but Sirius interrupted her, raising himself onto one arm as he looked down at her with an uncharacteristically unsure face, waking up Zero rather rudely thought they both paid no mind.

"I don't want to leave you behind." he continued.

"Sirius."

"I want to give you some of my magic and then maybe you can come to Hogwarts with me! I don't know how to do it but even if I have to use dark magic I'll do it! I'm sure that there's some sort of spell, I'll just have to go looking through the library at home but I'm sure! And anyway, If I find a spell and give you some magic than you can come to Hogwarts with me! Wouldn't that be great? The two of us doing magic far away from here-"

"Sirius," Hermione interrupted firmly as she too sat up and stared at Sirius. "You're crazy."

"Am I?" Sirius asked and Hermione paused but nodded shortly afterwards.

"Yes, you are. Giving me your magic by using dark magic? It's crazy Sirius. Besides, it's not like I'll never see you again once you leave-"

"But you're my best friend! I don't want to go to Hogwarts without you!" Sirius said and Hermione smiled.

"I don't want you to leave either!" Hermione said honestly making Sirius smile that brilliant grin that Hermione loved, though why she had no idea.

"So, that's why I need to find a spell or a potion or something so you can come to Hogwarts with me..."

"But Sirius, I'm not magical...I wouldn't belong there..." Hermione said making Sirius grow frustrated.

"But you would be magical! I would make you and then that would automatically make you belong there!"

"It can't be done Sirius." Hermione said sadly as Sirius leaped suddenly to his feet, his grey eyes flashing.

"Why can't it happen? I though you wanted to come to Hogwarts with me?!"

"I do but you know it won't happen! I'm a muggle! I can't do magic!"

"You know what; I don't think you really mean it! I don't think you want to do magic and go to Hogwarts with me-""Don't be silly-""No! I can see it in your face Hermione! You've never liked it when I do magic and you always get this scared look on your face..."

"Well maybe I don't!" Hermione belted out, rising to her own feet and feeling a burning sensation in her eyes that signalled tears. "Maybe I don't like magic." Sirius froze, his grey eyes unreadable as Hermione immediately snapped her mouth shut. A tense moment passed as Sirius watched her and she watched him.

"Why?" Sirius asked suddenly quiet. Hermione couldn't help her tears as she looked away from Sirius.

"I don't know why! I just get this really horrible feeling whenever you do it, like I'm gonna be sick and I feel really scared and I just don't like it!"

"But I'm magic." he stated and Hermione nodded.

"I know."

"But you don't like magic."

"No."

"So, you don't like me."

"No Sirius! You're my best friend of course I like you-"

"If you don't like magic Hermione, then you can never really like me." Sirius stated sharply, his face cold as he looked at her and Hermione shook her head.

"That's not true-"

"Just stop it." Sirius ordered before he turned his back on her.

"No, wait Sirius! Please!" Hermione said but he just ran away and Hermione was left wondering just what happened.

A/N: Quick second chapter and hopefully quick third chapter. Next chapters are finally the Hogwarts chapter so look forward to that. Thanks Zelma for being my first review! I was serious (pun intended) when I put in my profile that I like Hermione partnered with a wide range of characters...Asiantotheleft thank you so much for reviewing this story! I'm glad you like it and Guest thanks for answering my questions (I'll refrain from too many flashbacks since I had mixed feelings about them anyway) I have more questions for you readers...

1. Love triangle Remus/Hermione/Sirius or no? 2. Hermione marauder or Hermione/Lily/Severus grouping? 3. Hermione death eater spy? or death eater recruiter for the light without getting her hands dirty?

And thanks for a lovely start to a long story with reviews already! It's a great feeling that I got interest just from the first chapter alone! I promise the next chapter will be less childish...I'm hoping to quickly move to a deep relationship between Hermione/ Sirius with much drama!


	3. James

...*~*... Four months later

"Who's the prettiest girl in the world? Say, I am mummy! Zero is the prettiest girl! Good girl, good girl!" Hermione giggled as Zero, now way bigger, happier and healthier than she was as a pup, jumped all around her as they sat on the hillside. Hermione held up a toy worm that squeaked and through it as hard as she could down the hill and watched as Zero zoomed to pick it up and bring it back to her.

And although Hermione was smiling as they played fetch, she was far from feeling happy. Sirius hadn't come back to the hillside field until two months ago with a new posse of boys who wanted nothing to do with Hermione. She still came everyday with Zero in hopes that maybe Sirius would at least want to play with their dog but he just passed them by with his nose in the air, his hands in his pockets and his eyes averted. It boiled Hermione's blood.

So it should come as no surprise when Hermione stiffened at the sounds of the loud rambunctious boys as they climbed over the wired fence and up the hillside. She was quite fed up with Sirius, yet, she still came everyday to this spot to play with Zero when there was a perfectly pretty park just the opposite way...

Sirius and his group were laughing at something he had said, even though Hermione would swear she wasn't looking at him. There were three other boys, one who was only seven and the brother to one of the other boys and the other was slightly older than the lot. Hermione didn't like that older boy, John Marlow, he smoked cigarettes and stole things from the markets. Uncle Marius had made it very clear that she was to stay away with the likes of him. She wondered if that now meant Sirius since he hung out with him.

Zero was waggy her tail excitedly with the toy in her mouth; Hermione took the toy with a frown as she watched through her lashes the boys walking leisurely through the field. John was tossing something up into the air extremely high and then catching it, his smirk meant trouble. Sirius laughed at something John said and ran a hand through his shiny black hair. She noticed that he got another hair cut. For some reason that made her feel sad.

When the boys disappeared into the line of trees Hermione stayed scratching Zero behind the ears with a frown on her face. John was up to something, Hermione just knew it... Her frown deepened. What if Sirius got himself involved in something stupid like stealing from one of the poor 'muggles'? What if he did magic in front of them just to show off and got his cover blown?

Hermione twitched nervously and Zero licked her face. Sure, she was still incredibly mad at Sirius for being stupid and ignoring her but could she really just sit around as he does stupid acts? What if he was sent to jail?

With that thought Hermione jolted from her sitting position, nearly hitting Zero with her haste. She would not stand for it! She wouldn't watched her friend ruin himself!

And with that Hermione marched herself across the field and to the tree line, Zero excitedly running all around her. She didn't even have to question where Sirius would be. There was only one place that Sirius would take his band of misfits. Sir Williams Cabin.

She saw them loitering just up ahead around a boom box playing some rock music and to Hermione's horror Sirius was standing there doing wrong deeds. He was smoking and counting money! At eleven years old! It was unfathomable! So Hermione didn't even think, she just acted.

"Sirius!" She bellowed, practically running to the surprised group with Zero trailing not too far behind. Sirius just stared at her wide eyed for a moment as she hustled over before his face went to a cool indifference. "Sirius, what are you doing?" Hermione cried when she finally reached the surprised boys, Zero zipping forward to sniff at all of them. John backed away frowning at the dog, looking as if he was going to kick her but Sirius bent down, a cigarette dangling in his mouth and started to pet the dog. Hermione felt strangely possessive of Zero when he started petting her.

"Zero, come here girl!" Hermione called sharply, making Zero's ears perk but she still didn't move, that made Hermione's frown deepen. She was distracted when John got in her face.

"Hey! What are you doing here? Girls aren't allowed unless..." the thirteen year old boy said his eyes dangerous. "you've got something to offer." Hermione, uncomprehendingly, just glared and shifted away closer to Sirius. Brown clashed with grey as Sirius straightened up from petting Zero and just smirked at her, something about that smirk made Hermione uneasy.

"Sirius, you shouldn't be doing this! You shouldn't be smoking or hanging out with this guy! Come on Sirius! You'll only get yourself into trouble!" Hermione said imploringly as Sirius laughed. It was not his usual barking laugh.

"You seem to think that I care about what you have to say or getting into trouble." Sirius said as the other boys laughed cruelly but Hermione stayed her ground with her hands on her hips.

"You should!" She responded.

"Why do you care little girl?" John said from behind her as Hermione tensed and turned around slightly so she could face them all.

"Yeah, what are you, his mama?" the other boy responded. "You like him or somethin'?"

Flustered, Hermione stuttered as the other two boys sort of closed in on her with sneers on their faces. Hermione, wide eyed opened and closed her mouth like a fish and stepped back.

"Oh, look at that! Sirius, I think this girl really does like you!" John cried, looking back at Sirius whose face Hermione couldn't see. She knew she was blushing like a maniac.

"Your wrong!" Hermione cried angrily "He's my best friend!" The boys laughter reached an all new high.

"Oh that's a laugh! Did you hear that Sirius! Your her best frienddd!" the other boy called, stressing the friend as John laughed.

"You've got it all wrong little lassy, you see, _we're_ Sirius's mates, you got that? Not some annoying little brat like you." Said John as he leaned into her face and smiled meanly. Hermione felt tears prickle her eyes.

"Oi! Alright mate. I think she got it." Sirius said as he suddenly blocked her and slightly shoved John before turning back to her.

"We're not friends Hermione, and I don't want to see you around here again! So why don't you go home and play around with your puppy like a good little girl?" Sirius said reaching down and pushing Zero slightly to her.

"Dont you talk to me that way!" Hermione hollered with tears as she gripped Zero with one hand and pushed Sirius with the other before looking around and glaring at the other boys. "And you lot are all stupid! I'm gonna tell that you all have been smoking!" Hermione screamed angrily, missing Sirius's eye roll as the other boys just laughed and ohhed.

Sirius reached out and grabbed Hermione's arms but she immediately wrenched herself free of his grip, glaring up at him with hurt and anger.

"And you!" Hermione hissed. "I will never _bother_ you again!" and with that she turned around and stomped out of the woods, calling Zero as she left to follow.

"Stupid Sirius!" She cried at nobody once she was out in the field. Tears spilled continuously down her face as Zero whined at her master with concern. Finally, when it got too much, she sat down in a huff at the bottom of the hillside and cried into Zero's neck.

When she got home a little while later, Marius was waiting for her as usual on the stoop of the stairs.

"What's the matter, princess?" he cried, immediately jumping up and reaching out his hands to cup her tear stained face with so much concern and love in his face that Hermione started crying all over again.

"S-s-Sirius!" was all Hermione was able to say as Marius tusked and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"Awe, shh princess. It's alright!" he cooed, stroking her hair as she cried on his shoulder. "I reckon he'll come around soon."

"No he wont! He chose his other friends! He doesn't care about me!" Hermione cried as Marius smiled knowingly out of her line of vision.

"Alright. It's alright! I promise you love. That boy will realize what he's done and then he'll be begging to be friends with you again! And then it will be up to you whether you take back his hand of friendship or not."

"Really?" Hermione said with hope as Marius smiled.

"Of course! He'd be a fool not to want to be friends with such an amazing, beautiful, special, kind, smart, important, loyal princess like you." Hermoine giggled hugging Marius once more as he patted her back with a broad smile.

"Hey, Uncle Marius, what's that in your hand?" Hermione asked just noticing the strange looking envelope. Marius sighed making Hermione let him go and stare into his face with concern.

"What's the matter?"

"Well you see," Marius started, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair with an uncharacteristic show of concern. "why don't we go sit down and talk in the sitting room." he said, grabbing onto Hermione's hand and walking them inside.

When they got into the sitting room, Hermione immediately frowned at the sight of Dumbledore sitting in an armchair across from the couch. Hermione raised her curious gaze to Marius who was looking down at her and offered her a sad smile.

"I thought he wasn't supposed to be coming for another month?" she questioned as Marius sighed and walked her over to sit across from the older man. Hermione eyed him with barely contained discomfort. It wasn't that she didn't like the old man, it was just she didn't like how she felt after their meetings where he'd always as her the same questions and made her mind all murky. He did always give her chocolate though afterwards.

"Ah, Hermione! and the lovely Miss. Zero! Splendid! Care for a lemon drop?" Dumbledore asked her cheerfully as Hermione just shook her head as Zero jumped up on the couch next to her. Normally Uncle Marius would have a fit about that but he was strangely silent in Dumbeldore's presence. Dumbledore just shrugged and plopped one into his mouth with a smile.

"So, Mister Dumbledore sir. Are you hear to do another check up on me?" Hermione asked when it was apparent that Dumbledore wouldn't speak.

"Oh no no! Nothing of the sort. In fact I am here to tell you that you are invited to attend Hogwarts!" he said almost nonchalantly as Hermione stared blankly at him for a moment before leaping out of her seat.

"Hogwarts!" Hermione exclaimed as Dumbledore just continued to smile.

"Why yes!"

"But that's...isn't that only for magic people. I'm-I'm muggle aren't I?" Hermione said remembering all of her talks with Sirius.

"Indeed Hogwarts is a school for wizard and witches." he replied as Hermione stared at him with her mind whirling.

"So then, that mean-"

"Yes, Hermione. You are a witch!" Dumbledore said happily as Hermione balked. Her mind immediately jumped to Sirius and that day so long ago when he asked her if she wanted to even go to Hogwarts with him. She groaned and rubbed a hand down her face.

"No! I can't be magic!" Hermione said sternly as Dumbledore gave her a wide eyed stare.

"And why ever not?"

"Because I've never done anything magical!" Hermione cried as Dumbledore smiled.

"Ah, but you are magical my dear. You are only a different sort. But enough about that!" Dumbledore said before reaching into his long and wide sleeve and pulling out a long but thin box. Hermione just eyed him confused as he held it out to her. Hermione tentatively reached out and grabbed it as if it was a dirty rage filled with snot.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"The first step to knowing is taking action!" Dumbledore challenged. Hermione just eyed him and sat back down, daintily placing the box on her legs and opening it up. For a long moment Hermione just stared into the box with a very peculiar feeling before reaching down and picking up the wand.

Hermione nearly dropped it when a warmth hit her hand and shot down her arm and filled her whole. She shivered with the rush as energy so strong gathered around her to the point that everything seemed to heighten for a moment. The curtains blew, their hairs blew back and the house creaked and the objects in the room stirred.

It all passed a second later and Dumbledore observed all this with alert and keen eyes.

"Whoa" was all Hermione was able to say as she gazed at her hand holding the wand with wonder.

"Indeed." Dumbledore said sharing a look with Marius. "Right then Hermione! Marius holds the list of supplies you will need for your stay in Hogwarts. He will be taking you with a strapping woman named Dorea Potter along with her son James to Diagon Alley at a later date. Now, I must say good day to you both." He said with a cheerful little wave abruptly getting up and leaving. Hermione stared after him for a moment before she shot up like a rocket and ran after him.

"Wait!" she cried just as Dumbledore disappeared behind the front door.

"What is the matter Hermione?" Marius Black asked as Hermione stared up at him.

"But he forgot this!" Hermione said gesturing to the wand. Marius smiled and patted her head.

"That's your wand now Hermione." Marius said simply as Hermione stared down at it in disbelief and amazement.

"Am I really magical Uncle Marius?" Hermione whispered. Marius gently tilted her chin up and smiled down at her caringly.

"You are the most magical human being I have ever known."

...*~*... A month later...

"Hermione, are you ready?" Marius cried up to her as Hermione scrambled to brush her hair.

"I'll be right there!" She called down, frustratingly running the brush through a particularly stubborn knot.

"Hermione! The Potter's will be waiting for us if you take much longer!" Marius's frustrated voice responded.

"Okay I'm coming!" Hermione replied, giving up on her hair and sighing into the mirror.

Today was the day that she and Uncle Marius were to meet up with Mrs. Dorea Potter and her son James. Marius hadn't shut up about it for weeks straight about this day and was acting more anxious than even Hermione.

She would admit however, that she was not excited about this whole endeavor in the least. She had balled her eyes out at school yesterday since it would be her last time going to a muggle school and to be honest she wished she could just stay. She didn't want to go to this Hogwarts in the least. She got sick just thinking about it and she didn't want to be magical at all! She was quite happy being normal! It was safe, it was calm, it wasn't scary in the least! She just knew that as soon as she stepped foot out of the norm that something would change indefinitely and not for the better. In fact, things were already changing, she was having nightmares constantly, Marius was more forlorn and closed up than ever before and she was certain he would only get worse in the time they would spend apart...

Hermione sighed tiredly as she opened the door to her room and slowly thumped down the stairs.

Not to mentions Sirius. She knew he would be going to Hogwarts as well... what will she do when she sees him or when he sees her? She was _supposed_ to be a muggle. She wasn't _supposed_ to like magic let alone be able to do it! Just what would he think of her! Not that it mattered what he thought of her anyway. She wasn't friends with the stupid git anymore! He had made sure of that! So she really need not concern herself with thoughts of him.

But still she didn't want him to think her a liar. It just left a foul feeling in her chest. She hadn't lied to him, not once. She had honestly not known she could do magic and she still didn't like it even now that she could!

"Hermione!" Marius's voice called with warning.

"I'm right here." she said deadpanned as she went down the final staircase. Marius was bouncing on his feet anxiously, looking far more kept than Hermione had ever seen him before. Amusement flickered on her face as she stood before him.

"Uncle Marius, do you like Mrs. Potter?" she asked as, definitely for the first time, Marius's jaw dropped speechless.

"No! Mrs. Potter is my sister!" He exclaimed making Hermione Oh! and then laugh.

"I didn't know that! So then why are you acting so strangely?"

"Just nervous is all. I haven't seen her in a long time." Marius responded, grabbing Hermione's hand and walking over to the fireplace. Hermione stood next to him curiously as he smiled down at her and grabbed a hand full of flew powder.

"Alright I want you to grab this and say very precisely, Diagon Alley! Preciseness is absolutely key, alright Hermione? Key!" he stressed as Hermione nodded wide eyed. "Right, now off you go! Just say Diagon Alley and then throw the powder down on the ground." he said, helping Hermione into the fireplace and handing her a ton of the powder.

"Diagon alley!" Hermione said tossing it to the flew and going up in green flames. She was disoriented as peoples fireplaces whirled about quickly and then when it stopped Hermione stumbled out of the fireplace and nearly fell to the ground. Seconds later Uncle Marius came out, looking just fine as he smiled brightly at Hermione.

"Alright there?" he asked as Hermione nodded slightly nauseous. Marius gave her a sympathetic glance.

"I know, terrible experience. Just wait until you have to learn to Disapparate. Now that, I hear, is absolutely the worst. Oh! Perfect! There's the Leaky Cauldron, we'll just wait for the Potter's in there shall we? And I'll buy you your first butterbeer. Good stuff that is!" Marius said looking more excited than Hermione had ever seen him before. Hermione couldn't help but smile as she held onto his hand before she was distracted by the many marvels of Diagon Alley.

"Wow." Hermione breathed as she eyed the stores and tried not to be trampled over the masses of people in strange dreary clothing.

"Amazing, isn't it. I haven't been here in nearly fifteen years! It hasn't changed a bit!" Marius said merrily, opening the door to the Leaky Cauldron and ushering Hermione inside. The place was slightly dark but Marius walked with confidence up to the bar and talked in low tones to the man working there. Hermione gazed around at the people around them in their cloaks hunched over their mugs. It was strangely empty compared to the outside.

They didn't have to wait too long for the Potter's to show up, whom stuck out like sore thumbs with their well kept appearance and fancy clothes.

Mrs. Potter was a beauty with dark hair, light grey eyes and pearly white teeth. Her son trailed behind her smirking with self importance, his hazel eyes taking in the patrons of the bar with interest. He looked well kept with his hair combed proper and his robes all pristine. Hermione wished immediately that she had paid more attention to her own mound of puffy hair as they came upon them.

"Marius! It has been too long!" Mrs. Potter said with a pleasant airy voice as she swooped down and kissed Marius on the cheek. Marius smiled brightly.

"I agree sister. It is very generous of you to come and meet up with us." Marius said, tugging Hermione closer to him making Dorea Potter's grey eyes, much like Sirius's, slide down towards Hermione who smiled nervously.

"The pleasure is all mine! And you must be Hermione!" She said, bending down to plant a kiss on Hermione cheek who couldn't help but blush at the friendly greeting.

"Hello." Hermione said lamely as Dorea gave her a pleased smile before nudging her son James.

"Ow! Mother!" He huffed, glaring at her as she glared back, before turning to Hermione and giving her a confident smile and sticking out his hand.

"I'm James Potter!" he introduced loudly with a smile as Hermione placed her small hand into his.

"Hermione Gra-" Hermione froze, blinking for a moment before shaking her head "Hermione Black." she said again missing the wide eyed look of Marius but definitely catching James's amused one.

"Don't know your name yet? What are you two?" James said sarcastically earning him a rough nudge from his mother whom he glared up at. Hermione snatched back her hand and glared at the boy.

"Of course I know my own name!" Hermione retorted as James smirked.

"Could have fooled me."

"Alright! That is quite enough James! I do apologize Hermione, my son finds himself overly clever at time." Dorea said as Marius laughed.

"I reckon that he'll fit right in with Hermione then!" he replied good naturedly.

"No, there's a difference Uncle Marius. I'm _actually_ clever as opposed to just snarky." Hermione replied sharply as she glared at James who smirked further. Dorea laughed as Marius slightly nudged Hermione.

"Hold your tongue!" He replied lightly.

"Oh! I do like you Hermione! Maybe you could help my son while your away in Hogwarts? Try to reign in his arrogance." Dorea replied with a fond glare at James as Hermione smiled.

"It would be my pleasure Mrs. Potter." Hermione said as James rolled his eyes.

"I can't see how _you'll_ manage to do anything let alone try to tame me when you can't even say your name." James retorted indignantly, not liking people having a laugh at his expense.

"James Potter!" His mother said scandalously as Hermione just smirked and crossed her arms.

"No, it's alright Mrs. Potter. We'll see who has the last laugh! I wager that I'll beat him in every single class this year." Hermione said never breaking eye contact with James and the boy narrowed his eyes and held out his hand.

"Deal!" he said as the both of them shook on it. The adults laughed.

"Well, nothing wrong with some goodhearted competition!" Marius said as Dorea nodded.

"I quite agree! Now, I suppose we better start getting all your supplies!" she said as they moved their way out of the Leaky.

Gathering the supplies was surprisingly fun for all of them, though Hermione and James both competed with each other on almost everything like who could get to the store faster, who got the best quill or the better text book and things like that. Hermione found that it was actually kind of fun.

"Hey mum, do you think we can go to the joke shop when we're done. I want to show Hermione this whicked new exploding snap they've got there." James said as Hermione grimaced.

"Ew, why would I want to see that?" Hermione asked as they walked next to each other. James laughed, shaking his head as if he knew something Hermione didn't.

"Precisely James!" His mother said in front of them as James rolled his eyes.

"You wouldn't understand mum. But Hermione I bet would like it!" He said giving Hermione a look that she didn't understand. James just huffed and rolled his eyes before bending down to whisper in her ear. "They've got new wizarding cards Hermione!" James hissed before pulling back but Hermione still didn't understand.

"I don't understand." she said as James eyes widened. "What's the big deal if they've got wizarding cards?"

"What, please tell me your joking! Are you muggleborn or something? Don't you know that wizarding cards are a collectors item? You can make money off of them but mum said I couldn't keep obsessing over them so she hasn't let me get any in a while but they just came out with the Perwells and I'm related to the Perwells you see so I really want them."

"Okayyy..." Hermione responded "Mrs. Potter, I actually do want to go to the joke shop! I've never been there before, you see." Hermione said ignoring James's happy smile as Dorea just nodded.

"It's alright with me, what about you Marius?" she asked as Marius shrugged.

"It's fine."

And so they went, and it was rather fun, she wound up laughing a ton with James and even getting a couple of cards herself much to Dorea's horror.

"Oh not you too Hermione! You kids are obsessed with those things? That and those weird shifting animal toys!" But James and Hermione just laughed, James coming to excitedly explain to Hermione the rules of the cards and how they function.

They then went to the familiar store where James got a rather handsome owl. Hermione, however, opted to not get anything much to everyone's confusion.

"You know I will pay for you to get any owl or cat or even toad that you want." Marius whispered but Hermione just shook her head.

"No, It's okay Uncle Marius. I really don't want one."

And so they moved on stopping at other stores before going to a bakery and getting some treats. Hermione was fascinated by them all but settled for a small canary cake that was almost too cute to eat. She watched as James ordered a ton of sweets and shook her head.

"You can get bad teeth from all that you know." Hermione said as James shoved an entire pastry into his mouth. He smiled with food in his mouth obnoxiously. "Your lucky your mother didn't see that." she responded as James rolled his eyes. She couldn't help but eye the tiny pumpkin cupcake in his hand that he was about to shove into his mouth. He stopped though when he saw her watching, his hazel eyes narrowing slightly.

"Do you want this?" he asked, snapping Hermione out of staring.

"No." She said turning her head away. A pause followed in which Hermione picked a little at the crumpet in her hand.

"Here, you can eat it." James said, shoving it into her hand and nearly smashing it. Hermione's eyes widened in shock but he just shrugged. "I don't really like those anyway." he said before shoving in a chocolate trestle into his mouth.

"Thank you." Hermione responded but James just rolled his eyes.

"Alright, ready?" Marius asked as they headed out. Hermione nodded as Dorea turned to James with a smile.

"Did you eat your Pumpkin cupcake already? Merlin, I know that those are you favorite but really! You need to learn some self restraint." Dorea said as they walked out. Hermione eyed James who's ears turned pink as he looked hastily away.

"Shut up mum." He said as Hermione just smiled.

Soon after Dorea announced that it was time for them to leave and Marius agreed and they went off on their separate ways. Hermione felt quite pleased with the day and actually went to bed with a slightly better view of Hogwarts...

...*~*... Four months later...

Hermione couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned on her bed, huffily kicking off the sheets and then huffily putting them back on all night long. She couldn't get comfortable, she couldn't stop thinking...

She was going to Hogwarts.

Blearily Hermione registered her alarm going off and groaned. She could hear Uncle Marius making his way over to her door.

"I'm up!" Hermione called just before he could knock.

"Alright, well I'll have breakfast ready for you in fifteen!" He responded as Hermione nodded though he couldn't see.

She had been dreading and apprehensive of this day since the moment Dumbledore announced to her that she was going. It felt so surreal. She was worried about Uncle Marius. He had been almost as restless as Hermione in the last few days. Plus, she just couldn't shake this nagging feeling that had been following her.

Hermione sighed as she got up and brushed her teeth. She looked too tired... she _felt_ really tired. She already regretted not sleeping.

Moments later Hermione was yanking a brush through her hair and then tying it up when the frustrating thing just wouldn't behave. She then got to work on changing and getting her things down to the first floor.

It took her awhile but then she was ready. She went to the kitchens where Marius had just finished cooking and sat down at the small table.

"I don't want to go Uncle Marius." Hermione said to his back, feeling tears pool in her eyes. Marius turned around and immediately went over to hug her. Hermione cried harder, laying her head on his shoulder and gripping his shirt. "I don't want to leave you!" she cried making the old man chuckle.

"Oh, it will be alright my girl! You'll see me during the holidays!" Marius said stroking her back. Hermione shook her head.

"But what about you? You're gonna be all alone!" Hermione cried as Marius shook his head.

"It's okay Hermione! This old man has been taking care of himself for a long time. I'll be just fine!" he responded reassuringly but Hermione just frowned.

"But your going to miss me a lot!" Hermione cried and Marius laughed boisterously.

"Yes I am!"

"So how can I let you be lonely?" Hermione asked as Marius smiled and brushed a wayward lock of hair from her pretty little face.

"I won't be lonely princess." Marius responded to which Hermione gave him a skeptical look. "Do you want to know why? It's because you will write to me and you will tell me all about your experience and it will be like I am right there with you. Besides, I'll have Zero to comfort me so I won't be lonely while your away. I promise you!" he said to which Hermione nodded.

And they shared another warm hug and ate, talking no further about sad things but laughing and living in the moment so that when the time came to leave for the train Hermione did not shed a tear but just latched onto Marius's hand and gripped it tightly.

When they flewed to Kings Cross, Hermione felt herself getting slightly overwhelmed by the amount of people all around them.

"Alright, Hermione. You'll need to hold on tight to your cart and then run full speed at the wall. And remember what I told you! There's nothing to be worried about, its just a barrier, Okay?" Marius said as Hermione nodded.

"Okay Uncle." she responded before taking a steely breath and running through, Uncle Marius coming in right after. Hermione couldn't help but gasp at the beautiful huge red train before her looking majestic as smoke flouted all around it.

"It's beautiful." Hermione said awed as Marius gave her a smile, though his eyes held sadness. Hermione frowned at him. "Uncle, you told me you wouldn't be lonely." Hermione said. Uncle Marius just shook his head.

"I'm not! It's just me remembering some old feelings from the past. I'm excited for you Hermione! I hope that you think of this red train as the emblem of the start to your own magical journey!" Uncle Marius said with a smile. Hermione tried to smile back.

"I'm sure I will." she responded. She sighed as she looked at the train, feeling only slightly numb because she was so overwhelmed.

"Anyway, you better get a move on princess. You'll want to find the first year compartments and get yourself all settled." Marius said as Hermione felt tears welling again in her eyes.

"I'm going to miss you Uncle Marius!" She cried, letting her tight grip on the cart handles to launch herself at the old man.

"No more tears Hermione! No more tears! You are strong and brave and you will do fine! Remember you have that Potter boy you need to beat!" He said laughing which made Hermione chuckle.

"You bet I will!" She said with a watery smile.

"I know you will."

"I love you Uncle!" Hermione said as he swooped down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you too! Now go on!" He said with a slight push.

And so Hermione went, glancing back only once to the lone figure shrouded in the mists.

A/N: Well then! This was a long chapter! :) I know I said last time that I would have Hogwarts but my fingers had other ideas for me. Anyway! Thank you all for the overwhelming support! Ahh! I'm just so excited to write this story now! ;)

Galatea Black- I'm sorry! I'm an idiot I don't know why I put you as Guest last chapter! Anyway thanks so much for reviewing!

TsukiyoTenshi- thanks for the review! I send PM's for my main messages!

Zelma- My friend! Hope you continue to like it! I'm posting these chapters in seriously quick succession! So keep on the look out for them!

Monnbeam- Thanks for your review! I have taken into consideration everything you suggested and please don't restrain yourself! I want to know exactly your thoughts, wants and feelings when you read the chapters! I don't think I'll be able to explain the how she got there for a long while, but I definitely will!

Asiantotheleft- What up! :) So thanks for reveiwing! I'm excited for the Remus/Hermione/Sirius triangle myself! I'm surprised you having read many of them! I know I most definitely have! Anyway, here's another chappie! I hope you liked it!


	4. Lily

The train was more packed then Hermione thought it would be. It made her extremely nervous and disoriented so she hurried after the first first years she saw a couple of people in front of her.

Breathless, she walked into their compartment and gazed around at its occupants. Some boy was huddled in the corner, light brown hair shrouding most of his face as he gazed down at his feet; across from him sat another boy whose round face was openly observing her. Hermione gave him a shaky smile before plopping down on the seat next to the boy by the window and across from the round face one.

"Hi! I'm Frank! What's your name?" the round faced boy asked merrily.

"I'm Hermione." she replied with a relieved sigh to meet such a friendly guy. Her gaze shot to the silent boy next to her and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask him his but the boy had turned his head to gaze out the window and Hermione lost her nerve. She turned her head back to Frank and they shared a look and a shrug.

"So, er... do you have any siblings already in Hogwarts?" Frank asked and Hermione shook her head.

"No."

"Me either. I heard a girl before say that she did. Would be right nice? To already know what it's like..."

"Yeah, it would. A boy in our year who I knew told me mostly what to expect. I'm still really nervous though." Hermione said thinking of Sirius. Franks eyes widened.

"Oh really? What did he say? Does he have siblings who've been to Hogwarts?"

"No but his grandfather was the headmaster a long time ago and so he knows a lot about it. He told me that there are four houses-"

"Oh, I know all about that already! I'm going to be in Gryffindor, home to the brave! Just like my mum! Did he tell you how we get sorted?" Frank asked excitedly.

"Er, yes he did. He said that there's this hat-"

"A hat! What in the bloody blazes would a hat do?!" Frank cried and Hermione felt herself fighting not to roll her eyes and snap at him for interrupting her.

"Well, he said that the hat can talk and it reads into your heart and sorts you into the houses. I read in Hogwarts: A History that the hat was once Godric Gryffindor's." Hermione said as Frank frowned.

"Why in the name of Merlin would you be reading that? It's not part of our texts." Hermione straightened her spine.

"I like to be well informed-" Hermione was cut off once again but this time by the sound of the compartment door sliding open. Hermione blinked and looked up to find a pretty girl with deep red hair braided in pig tails standing at the entrance and looking around. The girl smiled brightly before looking behind her.

"Oh good! Come on Severus, this compartment isn't full!" she said before walking in, a gloomy looking boy shuffling in after her.

"Can you scoot over?" she asked the boy at the window. He stayed silent for a moment before shifting over closer to Hermione. "Thanks!" she said flashing a pretty smile that light up her entire face.

"Your welcome." he responded as the other boy, Severus, plopped down on the opposite side. Hermione was surprised that the boy next to her had said anything. Apparently Frank was too because he turned to give the boy a wide eyed stare.

"Oh, I thought you didn't speak." Frank said as the boy shifted uncomfortably. The newcomers just looked on with curiosity.

"I speak. Just, nobody said anything to me." he replied awkwardly as Frank beamed.

"Right, well... What's you name then?" Frank asked excitedly.

"Remus." he said.

"And, I'm Lily, and this is Severus." the girl readily introduced on the other side, making the boy across from her just as awkward as Remus.

"I'm Frank!" Frank responded without missing a beat. Their eyes turned to Hermione who smiled shyly.

"I'm Hermione."

"Hermione was just telling us what she knows about Hogwarts." Frank told the other two as they turned to look at Hermione.

"Oh! Do you know much about it? You have a sibling in Hogwarts?" Lily asked, her emerald green eyes peering curiously into Hermione's.

"Er, no. I just heard it from someone else-"

"A friend in our year who's grandfather was the headmaster! What did you say his name one again..."

"I didn't," Hermione responded "and he's not really a friend anymore." she threw in but Frank just continued on.

"Well, she was just telling us that there is a sorting with a hat." Lily ohhed as Severus tried to contain his curiosity.

"Yes, you put the hat on your head and it reads your mind and then sorts you into one of the houses." Hermione repeated.

"Well that's not bad at all! We heard one guy say that his brothers told him that you had to fight a one eyed hag in front of the entire school!" Lily said with a musical laugh that made everyone gaze at her for a moment. Severus gazed after her the longest. Hermione couldn't help but giggle.

"That's just silly. No school would allow something like that!" Hermione said shaking her head.

"The sad thing is that everyone believed him!" Lily responded and they all shared a laugh.

The train jolted forward almost knocking Hermione out of her seat.

"Here we go Lily, can you believe it? We're finally on our way to Hogwarts!" Severus said lowly to his companion as they shook their head in disbelief at one another.

A nervous jolt fluttered in her stomach as the train zoomed out of the station like a rocket. This _was_ it, no turning back now. She was heading to Hogwarts at full speed. She felt Remus tense beside her and found that the boy too looked like a had just swallowed a hand full of needles.

"I'm scared too." Hermione whispered making him turn to look at her with light amber colored eyes.

"Really? You don't sme-seem like it." Remus responded as Hermione shook her head.

"I am, but its seven years of our lives we'll be spending at Hogwarts so I'm trying to push it aside." Hermione said with a shrug. "I think you'll be fine though. You seem nice enough, if just a little shy but I am too."

"Thanks." he said giving her an odd look, Hermione smiled.

"Your welcome."

"I read Hogwarts: A History too, you know." Remus said quietly, surprising Hermione.

"You did?" she said for some reason very shocked.

"Yeah, I wanted to know more about the school too since I knew nothing about it before." Hermione smiled.

"Did you like it?" Remus nodded with a tentative grin.

"It was very interesting."

"I agree! I really liked the part about the ghosts and Nicholas Famel. He was brilliant." Hermione said excitedly as Remus agreed adamantly.

"My favorite part was about the castle knights and its defensive enchantments."

"That part was good! It would be pretty funny to see a whole bunch of suits of armor coming to life all gallantly." Hermione said with a smile.

"Yeah it would, oh and did you read the part about the forbidden forest?" Remus asked and Hermione nodded.

"Yes, there's a whole chapter just dedicated to that. It's why we have a gate keeper. Makes me kind of nervous to be honest." Hermione replied as Remus shook his head, an excited light in his eyes.

"I think it's actually pretty cool." he said and Hermione giggled.

"You like a bit of danger don't you Remus? I can tell by the look in your eyes." Hermione observed as Remus ducked his head with a shy smile.

"A little."

"Wait, what's this about a forbidden forest?" asked Frank obviously eavesdropping.

And the train ride went on like that with the five of them talking excitedly about Hogwarts and sharing laughs. By the time the trolley came it was like all of them had been mates for years.

Lily had bought snacks for Severus and herself and Frank bought a ton for himself and Hermione bought some things and shared them with Remus. Then they all had fun trying out new treats and daring each other to try the Bertie Botts Every Flavored Bean. Hermione learned that Severus and Lily had been friends for years before coming to Hogwarts. She also learned that Remus had known a boy named Peter in their year but he couldn't find him on the train. Frank said he knew of a lot of kids their age but had never really spoken to them so Hermione told them about knowing James and Sirius, which made Lily and Serverus strangely tense.

"But, Sirius and I aren't friends anymore and James is more like my rival." Hermione said and watched some tension fall off of the two.

"Well good because they were incredibly rude to Serverus and I can just tell that James is a, is a, a giant toerag!" Lily said vehemently surprising Hermione.

"Oh, well. He seemed nice enough when I meet him. Well, maybe not at first, he was actually quite rude, but he became nicer when I got to know him a little better. Even gave me his favorite pumpkin cupcake." Hermione said shrugging as Lily humped.

"Well he'll have to do more to make me change my opinion of him!" Lily said sticking her nose in the air. Hermione eyed Severus and found him gazing at Lily with adoration. For some reason that made Hermione want to giggle.

"It must be nice to have your best friend with you." Hermione changed the subject, gazing at them with a smile and Lily's face went from indignant to smiling exuberantly.

"It's the best!" Lily said happily as Severus nodded.

"And now you'll get to spend seven years together." Hermione said as Severus glanced nervously at Lily and she just smiled.

"I know! Couldn't get any better! Severus and I hope that we can even get into the same house!"

"Oh, what house is that?" Frank asked curiously making the two tensed.

"Well, er..."

"Slytherin." Lily said giving a surprisingly defiant stare at the rest of them as Severus shifted. Frank and even Remus tensed but Hermione just smiled.

"Oh, that's the house for those ambitious and cunning. I wouldn't mind it there myself. I think all of the houses are really amazing." She said making Lily smile brightly at her and Severus regard her with new interest.

"I agree completely, Hermione! Well said." Lily responded with a nod.

"But, Slytherin is filled with all the evil people." Frank piped as he eyed the three of them with shock. Lily opened her mouth to speak but Hermione got to him first.

"That is ludicrous! There is no house designated for only evil. Being cunning and ambitious is not something that is bad, in fact its admirable and I think its absurd to think otherwise. And if Lily and Severus are placed into Slytherin than its not like I'll stop talking to them because of it! In fact I'd go out of my to see more of them so I could prove people like you wrong!" Hermione said so passionately it left everyone stunned for a minute. Blushing, Hermione sat back into her seat.

"Thank you Hermione!" Lily said genuinely with respect in her eyes. Hermione just smiled not even sure why she had reacted so strongly. Severus awkwardly sent a smile to her and Hermione was surprised at how sweet his smile was; it made his dark eyes twinkle and his face more charming.

"Yeah, thanks Hermione." he said with that smile that brightened Hermione's.

"Your welcome!"

"Well, I meant no harm!" Frank said defensively which made Hermione and Lily roll their eyes. "It's just the evidence is set against them. Most of that lot don't even like muggles or muggle-borns and then there was that incident with the Chamber of Secrets years ago! I know about that since my mum told me all about it. She was graduating that year."

"Slytherin doesn't like muggle-borns?" Lily asked with a note of surprise. Her green eyes traveled over to Severus who guiltily looked the other way.

"That's not necessarily true." He mumbled but Frank scoffed, drawing Lily's attention.

"It is true! A muggle-born _died_ because of the heir of Slytherin ruled something within the Chamber of Secrets and there hasn't been a muggle-born in Slytherin in over a century!" Frank admonished as Lily's eyes grew wide, her gaze on the floor.

"I'm muggle-born." Lily said and immediately Frank's face went really red with embarrassment and said a little Oh when Severus glared at him. "Why didn't you tell me Sev?" Lily asked, turning her eyes on the boy who looked agonized for a moment.

"It doesn't matter Lily-"

"You told me that no one would care if I didn't have magical parents! You lied-"

"Only because I didn't want to hurt your feelings-"

"But you should have told me!" Lily bit out, her green eyes flashing as Severus immediately backed down.

"Lily I'm sorry!" Severus cried but Lily just shook her head and turned to stare out the window. A thick silence struck through the compartment for a long moment.

"I'm adopted." Hermione blurted out, finally breaking the tension as everyone except for Lily's eyes turned to her. Hermione gulped but gazed at the other three. "I don't know who my parents are and Uncle Marius took me in and he's a squib but if anyone had a problem with that then shame on them. Those kind of people aren't worth the time of day. I love my Uncle Marius and that's really all that matters."

"I agree." Remus said, offering Hermione a little smile to which she returned with relief.

"Hermione's right," Frank spoke up, nodding as he sneaked a glance at Lily. "I'm a pureblood but I couldn't care less about that kind of stuff."

"See, it doesn't matter Lily!" Serverus said with some relief as Lily just smiled. Hermione could see, though, that she was still worried and sad.

"Don't worry Lily. All you have to do is be yourself and then naturally your _true_ friends will come to you." Hermione said smiling and for a moment she gazed at Remus too.

"Your right!" Lily said with a small laugh. "It doesn't matter! I've already met some great people on the train ride alone so I'm sure it will be fine!"

And for the rest of the way they sat and talked merrily, putting the incident behind them. Then, in what felt like minutes for Hermione but was in fact hours, the train stopped and they all exited together in their Hogwarts uniforms. Hermione could feel excitement without a tint of worry brewing inside of her for the very first time. Next to her, Lily grabbed hold of Hermione's hand and gave it a little squeeze with a bright smile that Hermione returned. Severus came up next to Lily's other side and grinned at the both of them, his eyes lingering on Hermione to mouth a small thank you behind Lily's back.

"Firs' years over 'ere!" A booming voice cried that belonged to an extremely tall bearded man. Hermione's heart warmed at the sight of him for reasons unknown to her and they quickly followed after.

"I'm going to try to find Peter!" Remus cried next to her over the loud noise of the train and students. Hermione smiled to mask her disappointment but the smile Remus gave her was too knowing. "I'll try to find you later! All of you!" Remus shouted to which Hermione nodded.

"Okay, see you soon!" Hermione exclaimed just before he walked away; Lily was already dragging her the opposite way.

"Buttons?!" a shocked voice screamed above the crowd. Hermione froze for a heart stopping second before her brown eyes turned to the side and clashed with wide grey eyes but then a gang of first years past and Lily was still tugging her... she could see Sirius trying to push his way through the kids but by the time he got closer, Hermione was already inside the boats and sailing along. Sirius eyed the shoreline for a moment looking as if he was debating whether to swim and climb inside her boat and he actually took a step into the lake but then thought better of it. He just shot her a glare and stomped off to where, surprising, James was standing waiting for him.

Hermione's heart pounded as she turned away from the sight of them, her mind whirling as so many emotions flooded her. She could feel Sirius's eyes on her back the whole way across the lake and because she was so distracted by that she didn't even notice the scenery of Hogwarts that Lily and Severus were ogling.

Her stomach churned as they neared the lake shore. She knew Sirius would be rushing to question her and she just wasn't up to speaking to him. The hurt she felt was still fresh in her mind; all the times she waited out by the hill side with Zero to apologize, all the times he shrugged her off, ran off with his no good mates...No, Hermione would not speak to him! She didn't owe him any explanations anyway! _He_ was the one who decided not to listen to her even when she had decided she would forgive him...

So, with her mind made up but her stomach still squirming, Hermione climbed out of the boat and turned around to stare down the approaching Sirius. Lily and Severus eyed his approach with hostility and hastily walked away with Frank trailing curiously behind them. Hermione, however, stayed staring down at a breathless but smiling Sirius.

"Buttons how-" Sirius started with awe and wonder but Hermione cut him off felt such a strong rush of anger Sirius acting took a step back.

"Don't _you_ speak to me! I don't want to hear a word from you!" Hermione hissed, staring him dead in the eyes with her heart pounding. Sirius looked comically confused as he reached out a hand to take hold of her but Hermione turned away and stomped up the entrance to the castle. She didn't even care about the wonder she was stepping into, she just knew she needed to get away from Sirius immediately. She hadn't even realized just how angry she was until he had spoken to her that it kind of shocked her. But she couldn't help it, seeing him coming to her as if he hadn't ignored her and made her cry just made all these emotions she didn't even realize she was feeling just pour out. She was pretty sure that if Sirius tried to talk to her again she would lose it.

She spotted Frank, Lily and Severus standing together near the front of a wooden door with a stern looking woman barking out orders Hermione couldn't hear over the angry thoughts in her head. She was thoroughly surprised when someone grabbed her arm.

"Buttons, why are you acting this way? Can't you see? Everything's okay now! You're magic!" Sirius said excitedly with his hand on her arm. Hermione almost couldn't breath she was so full in rage as she glanced at his hand and then into his eyes.

"I don't want to hear it! In fact, I don't even want to look at you! Don't talk to me!" Hermione sputtered, her face inflamed and her eyes enraged. Some other first years were eyeing the two of them with curiosity but Hermione didn't care.

"I don't understand Buttons-" Sirius started but Hermione pushed him as hard as she could away from her.

"Just leave me alone!" she screamed, efficiently getting all attention put onto them.

"Excuse me but is something the matter back there?" the shrill voice of the stern woman in the front called back at them with indignant eyes. Hermione shook her head. "Well then, if its not too much trouble will you two cut the conversation and _pay_ _attention_!" she ordered making Hermione gulp and nod, shooting Sirius one more glare before she scrambled over to Lily and the lot.

"What was that about?" Lily whispered when Hermione came to them but she just shook her head.

"I'll tell you later." she replied to which Lily just shrugged and nodded.

"-So when I call your name you each sit down on the stool and I will place the hat on your head. You then wait until after the sorting hat has announced your house to get off the stool and then you hand the hat back to me and take your seats in your rightful place. Gryffindor table is the furthest to your left with Hufflepuff following after, then Ravenclaw, with Slytherin the last on the right side. Is that understood? Alright? Okay, good. Now follow after me!" The lady spoke eyeing all the students in front of her before nodding and turning to open the doors to the Great Hall.

A gasp admitted from all the students as the glorious hall came into sight with its flouting candles and starry sky. Hermione too gaped with awe at all the students looking impressive at the four long tables and the staff table looking down at them all in the front. A nervous trill went through Hermione when she thought about the fact that she would have to get sorted in front of all these people. She let her mind think of all the embarrassing scenarios that could happen for a moment before she was distracted by the man sitting front and center of it all.

"Dumbledore?" Hermione breathed with surprised recognition at the old wizard in front of her. Lily gave her a curious look before she bent down to whisper in Hermione's ear.

"You know of him?" she asked as Hermione nodded her head.

"Yes, he used to come and visit me every month a while back but he stopped two months ago. I didn't know he worked here." Hermione explained as Lily gave her a curious frown.

"He doesn't _just_ work here Hermione, he's the headmaster." Lily said as Hermione gasped.

"Really?" she asked incredulously as Lily nodded.

"Yes, he's the one who came to tell my parents I was magical. Severus told me only muggle-borns get a visit from a teacher or the headmaster, so I didn't expect too many other's to know him. It's strange if you know him that you didn't know he is the headmaster. It's in your Hogwarts letter, you know. Didn't you see it?" Lily explained to which Hermione shook her head.

"No, I never saw my letter. My Uncle read it before I did and I never bothered to look at it afterwards." Hermione said before she was distracted by the stern lady who had just finished placing the stool on the platform and was calling a name off the list.

"Abbot, Charles!" she called out as a scrawny red headed boy squeaked and then stumbled up to the stool. Hermione watched with fascination as the hat stewed for a moment on top of the nervous boys head before its mouth opened and he shouted "_HUFFLEPUFF_!" Charles Abbot smiled and slumped with relief before taking off the hat and jumping down from the stool, tipping it over in his haste and turning very red faced as he scrambled to pick it up. Then ran off to the Hufflepuff table with the hat in his still in his hands. Everybody had a laugh as the annoyed stern looking lady went and plucked it out of the boys hand and then continued on with her list.

When they got to the b's Hermione froze with fear and anxiousness.

"Black, Hermione!" the lady called as a pronounced hush fell over the entire hall. Hermione froze like a deer in the headlights as all eyes turned to her. She could tell that there was something strange with the silence, a tension that filled even Frank next to her, who eyed her with disbelief as she stepped forward.

The trek to the hat felt like years as the burning sensation of being watched made Hermione's knees weak. Her eyes immediately fell onto Dumbledore in front of her, who's blue eyes gazed at her with obvious interest. Hermione took a deep breath as she stood before the stool with a thousand questions running through her head and a nervous queasy feeling in her stomach.

When Hermione turned around she tried to put her eyes to focus on nothing but she still managed to catch most of the student bodies shocked expressions. Hermione frowned as she took a seat on the stool but then her vision really was obscured when the professor placed the hat open her head and it fell over her eyes.

"AH!" The hat cried out loud, making Hermione jump in her seat. _Oh, I do apologize for my little outburst Hermione, there's just __SO much going on in here! _A very distinguished voice said inside her head. Hermione balked but before she could say or think anything the voice continued. _So much that you have yet to remember and so much that has selectively been chosen to suppress..._ he mused confusing Hermione greatly. _It's quite hard to figure you out with so many layers in your mind and so much that has happened to change who you are since the last time...I suppose that your being here, however, is just proof that I was correct the first time around...yes...though with your past and your heart you are suitable for every house, there really is only one place I can put you... Right! So better be "_Gryffindor!"the hat announced as cheers and clapping ensued. Hermione just blinked rapidly with confusion for a moment before she gingerly set her feet on the ground and placed the hat in the professors hand delicately.

Numbly, she made her way to the red and gold table, barely even noticing anything around her. She felt dazed and confused. Just what was the hat talking about? Was it mad? What remembering and suppressing? What past? She had no impacting past, just a quiet life in number 13 Grimmauld Place with her Uncle... She was so confused but managed to get distracted again as a hush fell over the hall, the same kind as what happened for her, and a name was called.

"Black, Sirius!"

Hermione froze for what felt like the millionth time and turned her brown eyes onto Sirius. Since when was Sirius's last name Black? Why was it the same as her's? And just what the bloody hell was going on? Why hadn't she known this before tonight?

Now completely at a loss, Hermione watched as Sirius strode to up the steps to the stool. He looked confident but it was so obvious to Hermione that it was forced. She watched as the Professor placed the sorting hat on his head and mulled for about twenty seconds before choosing Gryffindor! Everyone around her went bananas but Hermione just felt too stunned to do anything but panic.

There was no time to duck under the table and move to the other side as Sirius headed determinedly to her. She realized that she was forced to sit next to him and she really wasn't ready for that yet. It was just all to much too soon but she knew she would just have to suck it up as Sirius plopped down next to her and immediately rounded on her.

"Just what in the bloody blazes is going on?" he asked, almost repeating her earlier thoughts. Hermione just sighed and looked up at the ceiling for help as another person was called in the background.

"I still don't want to talk to you right now, Sirius." Hermione said begging for tranquility to the stars above.

"Well too bad because we need to talk!" he exclaimed as Hermione turned flashing eyes on him.

"Oh, so _now_ you want to talk? After months of cruelly ignoring me?! You're lucky I don't know any good hexes yet Sirius Black or you'd be fouler than a slug in a sess pool!" Hermione retorted hotly as Sirius sighed.

"Look, I get Hermione! Your mad that I ignored you but you lied to me! You told me you weren't magical and I've forgiven you!" Sirius said to which Hermione felt an awesome need to hit him.

"I have never lied to you Sirius! I told you I was muggle because, until four months ago, I honestly thought I was! But then Dumbledore came to my home and he told me I was magical and I swear, I had no idea! And it doesn't change the fact that I still don't like magic!" Hermione exclaimed as Sirius balked at her.

"Are you serious? You really didn't know?" he asked dubiously as Hermione rolled her eyes. She would have done a play on words with his name if she was in a better mood but she only felt anger.

"Yes! I am being completely honest! Not that I owe you any explanations! You've really hurt me Sirius! A lot! and I don't think we can be friends again." Hermione said staring into his eyes intensely to prove she meant it. Sirius swallowed thickly as he frowned.

"I'm sorry Hermione-" He started but Hermione shook her head.

"Save it." she said to which Sirius shook his head.

"No! I won't! I want you to hear me out Hermione! It hurt me too to ignore you but you don't understand how I felt after you told me what you told me on that day. You don't understand all that I've been facing at home just so I could be friends with you, with _any_ 'muggles' and when I heard you say that you couldn't accept me-"

"I never said that-"

"No, let me finish! You saying you didn't like magic, that you wouldn't even try for me...that was not accepting me and it hurt me a lot! You were the _only_ friend I've ever had before and I felt like you had betrayed me and I know that's no excuse! I really feel bad about that day in the woods and ignoring you but I was hurt too!" Sirius said making Hermione pause.

"Okay," she said after a while as Sirius's eyed her with puppy eyes. "Okay, I'll think it over but I still am mad at you right now!" Hermione said sternly as Sirius smiled brightly but nodded.

"Alright." he said his smile not leaving his face no matter how hard Hermione glared.

Later that night, Hermione comforted Lily as she brooded about her loss of Severus and her being in the same house.

"It's silly to be upset Lily," Hermione said once they stopped gushing about the Gryffindor dormitories and got comfortable in their beds that were next to each other. "You know you'll be able to see him everyday in classes and at meal times."

"Yeah, but it's not the same as sharing a house together! We won't be able to hang out in the common room or stay up playing until bed time!" Lily exclaimed.

"That's true..." Hermione agreed lamely as Lily flopped down head first onto bed and Hermione fluffed up her pillow. She yearned badly to just knock out then and there completely exhausted with all of the day's occurances but Lily was feeling chatty and so Hermione forced her eyes to stay open.

"And to be honest, I'm a bit scared without him. He's the one who told me everything about Hogwarts and it supposed to be like this big adventure we take together. Like he's my anchor here, you know? And I'm worried that with him so far away that I'm going to mess up somehow..." Lily revealed, her green eyes staring deeply into Hermione's. A moment passed before Lily sighed and turned onto her back. "I'm sorry, I'm probably boring you to death with all my whinging..."

"No! I don't feel that way! I'm just thinking that you don't give yourself enough credit. Though I know I haven't known you long at all but I can tell already that your very brave and that you march to the beat of your own drum so you'll do fine even without Severus. All you need is just a little more confidence and then it will be an adventure you both are sharing as equals." Hermione said as Lily turned her head and stared at Hermione. "What?" she asked unsure as Lily smiled.

"You know, your really nice Hermione. I'm really glad that I switched compartments and met you." she said surprising Hermione.

"Thanks, I'm really glad I met you too." she responded as Lily giggled.

"Will you sit with me at breakfast tomorrow?" she asked as Hermione smiled.

"Of course I will!" Hermione responded as Lily lied down facing Hermione and yawned before smiling tiredly. Hermione yawned in turn and plopped her head down on her pillow.

"Goodnight Hermione." Lily whispered.

"Goodnight Lily."

A/N: I AM SO SPEECHLESS! I'm so pleased with the reviews! I have so many of you to thank! Of course to the lovelies **Zelma** and **Asiantotheleft**! Thanks again for the reviews! I dedicate my speedy writing's to you two! and to some new comers...

BlackMoonQueen: Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you eek love it! ;)

TsukiyoTenshi- I'm so glad you though that the part with James was amusing. I was surprised at how hard it was to try to capture that arrogant/niceness but so I appreciate that you liked him...

Monnbeam- Glad you liked this chapter as well! I hope you liked this chapter as well, it was hard to write to be honest! So please let me know what you think of this one!:)

Galatea Black- Got it right this time! :) I realized too that the aging was off but I didn't want to write a chapter with a whole year of Hermione being muggle so I speeded it up ;p bad me lol But I hope you like this chapter! No time skips here lol

egn17- Muhahaha! We shall see! It's what I originally planned for this fic but surprising a lot of reviewers didn't want that...

Jujulicia- Your English is fine! No apologies! and I'm glad you like it! I hope you enjoyed this update!

and last but certainly not least!

Mrs. Regulus Arcturus Black- Love your account name! I was very pleased when you reviewed all three and shared your thoughts! Made me very happy and I will consider your suggestions! I want Hermione to stay true to J. K Rowling but I find the Hermione I'm writing to be different in a way so I'm a little nervous about her but I will try to stay true lol! I'll have some flashbacks later on that will explain everything but those will come much later so for now it will remain a mystery of how Hermione got there as an infant. I got a kick out of reading your thoughts on a Remus/Hermione/Sirius love trianlge... I must admit I never really considered James which I am so pleased you liked! Hahaha I think I kind of want to torture James a little though ;) It's just too much fun!

Anyways! Thanks for the reviews and the support! Here are some more questions for you guys...

1. This is very important! How quickly would you guys like for me to go through Hermione's first years? I've already written more chapters than I though I would about it to be honest but I want to know your thoughts! When does it get too boring and how quickly can I jump to more mature dramatic scenes? 2. Sirius as a raunchy playful dog or a broody emotional but loving pup? I know I should combine the two but its actually more difficult than I though and I find myself struggling to keep it balanced so when to you the readers is it too much playful or too much over dramatic?

Okay, I think I've asked enough out of you all! ;) Thanks for reading! And keep up the amazing reviews!


	5. First Year

The next day, Hermione woke up with a heavy feeling that increased when she recalled that she was in Hogwarts. Lily's scared disposition, however, changed dramatically as she set out for the day with vigor. It made Hermione quietly annoyed to be honest. Her feelings only got worse when she saw Sirius with James at the breakfast table. Sirius had smiled at her and called out a friendly 'Buttons!' that Hermione pointedly ignored as she went with Lily to greet Severus. When it was time for classes to start, Hermione's mood went from bad to worse at the prospect of having to perform magic.

Lily did not seem to notice Hermione's lacking excitement as they headed on. Only one person kept shooting her concerned glances and it just annoyed her further that that person was Sirius. He was, however, still the only one Hermione confessed to hating magic to and she honestly regretted telling him so if he was going to keep looking at her like that.

She let herself stew in her anger rather than submit to her true feeling, fear. She wouldn't tell anybody but she was honestly scared of magic. Whenever she was in the presence of it, felt it stirring in the air and electrifying her skin, it made her nauseous and her head pound unpleasantly.

She worried for naught, in the end, since most of the classes were getting to know the professor and outlining what they would be covering for their first year. There was also a lot of getting to know your wand which left Hermione with a very peculiar sensation.

As she stared at the 10 3/4 vine wood with an intricate swirling pattern, Hermione did not feel any particular unfamiliarity. She knew the workings of the wand, the lightness in her hand and the most comfortable grip. She didn't have to learn its wood as the rest of her classmates had, she just knew her wand, knew it as sure as a part of herself.

This didn't leave Hermione with any comfort or feelings of achievement. In fact, if anything, it left her feeling a little sick, for despite the obvious bond she had with the wand, the feelings the tool invoked made Hermione on the brink of tears. Luckily for her, no one noticed Hermione's strange behavior with the teachers too focused on their lecturing and the students too enraptured with their wands.

During lunch time Hermione managed to sneak away from Lily to cry in the girls bathroom. She felt ridiculous for it afterwards but the tears just wouldn't stop as she in the stall and eyed the wand. Looking at it made her heart feel as if a huge gaping hole in the middle of it and she felt as if she was on the cusp of remembering something, maybe a feeling, but it was slipping through her fingers like sand.

The next day proved to be something for Hermione. Done were the introductions with only minor lecturing and magic performing. The first class for Hermione was potions, which she found herself to be most proficient in along with Severus. Slughorn had eyed the two with mild interest and praised them which left Hermione feeling a bit gracious. It was her next class, charms, when things went a little strange.

And no, it wasn't the fact that Hermione knew everything and answered every question proficiently, nor was it really that strange that she was able to perform the spells easily on the first try. It was the feelings she felt doing them...as if she had done all this before. She didn't even second guess herself or have to review it in her mind, it just came to her so naturally. The professor even commented that it seemed like she had been doing it for years. This earned Hermione many curious and envious stares, even from Lily which only got increasingly worse as the day went on. She was just as proficient in the rest of her classes, earning Gryffindor a ton of house points.

To say Hermione was surprised was an understatement. It actually sort of scared her, just months ago she was merely a muggle but now it was as if she was some prodigy magic wielder. Lily kept hounding her on how she was doing it, asking her if she had been secretly practicing the spells. Hermione denied it but Lily wasn't believing her which slightly irked Hermione. She could see the competitiveness in Lily boiling in her green eyes and it in turned stirred competitiveness in Hermione even with the strange feelings she was hiding.

And so the months passed with the only changes her growing friendship between her and Lily, however competitive it had become. Of course, hanging out with Lily in turn meant hanging out occasionally with Severus whom Hermione came to regard as a shy, pessimistic intelligent boy. They could hardly call each other friends but Hermione felt a camaraderie with the boy and was comfortable in his presence.

This, of course, meant that whatever relationship she might have had with James was non-existent. He and Sirius both drove her quite mad in fact. They teased Severus constantly which made Lily always angry and upset and they were overly loud and rambunctious in the common rooms. Perhaps the most frustrating part was the two's ability to bribe peeves into dumping an assortment of liquids on top of Severus in the hallways. Lily had a field day yelling at the two of them and told McGonagall and Hermione came to view the two as arrogant immature bullies.

Frank had also stuck with the girls for a while before he found his own niche with some other boys but he still remained seated next to Hermione every charms lessons. Hermione wondered if it was because he still wanted to be friends or because charms was his worst subject and he wanted Hermione's help, either way, she still talked to Frank. Remus, however, drifted vastly apart from her since the moment after he departed from them before the boat rides. It saddened Hermione greatly though he seemed to be fine just hanging out with Peter. She noticed occasionally that he would sit with the two little trouble makers, James and Sirius which had confused her greatly until she had learned that they all shared a room together. It made Hermione resigned that Remus would eventually become friends with them, even though Hermione had yet to really say more than casual greetings to her dormmates excluding Lily. She just knew that Remus was going to be friends with them once he got over he's painfully shy attitude...

Hermione also had a rude awakening into the world of purebloods. Apparently the cause of the astounded silence during her sorting was because of her last name. Many people were confused since the Black family had not gotten word of Hermione and it wasn't common for anyone out side of the pureblood line to have that name in the Wizarding world. She still shuttered whenever she thought about Bellatrix, whose cold violet tinted eyes bore into Hermione with contempt and disgust.

The female had apparently taken a great insult in Hermione and did not take kindly to sharing last names with her. She had made it a point to tell Hermione that almost everyday with biting words and physical abuse. She never cursed Hermione, though, Hermione suspected she saved that for Sirius who would occasionally look like he was extremely haggled. It made Hermione feel pity for the boy but then he would do something obnoxious like annoy Severus and the feeling would go away.

And then the week before Christmas break, something happened...

The day started with Hermione waking up feeling extremely tired despite her uninterrupted eight hour rest. Lily was already awake and styling her deep red hair in the mirror by her bed, placing cute little barrets to hold back her side bangs. When she noticed Hermione waking, she flashed her a wide bright smile and bounced up over to Hermione.

"One more week left until the holidays!" Lily exclaimed as Hermione smiled tiredly and sat up in her bed.

"Are you terribly excited?" Hermione asked sarcastically as Lily twirled happily and squealed 'Presents!'.

Hermione just laughed and shook her head, peeling off the covers and trudging over to the bathroom. She took her time brushing her teeth and brushing her long bushy hair feeling exceptionally sloth-like. Lily poked her head in, her cat like eyes eyeing her hair.

"Why don't you let me do your hair today?" Lily asked still in her exceptionally good mood. Hermione adamantly shook her head.

"No, keep away from my hair." Hermione said sternly, tying the unmanageable locks up with a hair tie. Lily shrugged and walked out and Hermione sighed with relief.

"Suit yourself. I'm going to go down to meet with Severus. See you at breakfast?" she asked flouncing over to the door.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." Hermione said absentmindedly.

When she was done, Hermione walked back out of the bathroom only to feel something trickling down her leg. Confused, Hermione looked down only to see blood. She screamed and fell backwards, panicking before she took a breath and walked back to the bathroom to undress herself. She found herself bleeding and immediately started crying, turning on the shower and throwing herself inside practically sobbing. She had no idea what was going on, why was she bleeding down there? Was she dying?

When the blood was all washed away Hermione got out and was at a loss of what to do. Should she get help? What if something was seriously wrong with her? How would she explain?

And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She was menstruating!

She balked in her towel. She couldn't believe it! How could she not have realized...though reading about it was entirely different than experiencing it, she should have known immediately.

It was a relief at least that she knew what was happening to her but she still had no idea what to do, she was unprepared. And then it just happened. Without a conscious thought from Hermione, the magic just took over naturally... the corporeal animal materialized before her in a wispy blueish hue and gracefully flew around her as Hermione just gaped at it. When the phoenix came upon Hermione, it opened its mouth and let out a singsong note that Hermione perceived as comforting.

"How-" Hermione started before falling speechless. And then it felt like an explosion occurred on her back. Gasping, Hermione bent down in pain, tears falling from her eyes as she bent her arm back to clutch her back. The corporeal phoenix called out another louder note that seemed to ease Hermione's pain slightly and Hermione looked up at it, managing to watch it just as it soared out of her window.

Gasping as the pain eased completely, Hermione stood up and stumbled over to the counter where the mirror was hanging, dropping her towel and turning her back to inspect it in the mirror.

She screamed at what she saw.

On her back, glowing lines sprouted up in intricate designs starting all the way from her the bottom of her left butt cheek and ending in beautiful spirals near her shoulders.

Hermione stared at herself with wide, scared eyes and starting crying.

And then two things happened at once. The door busted open with a loud bang and a crash that sounded like glass breaking sounded from her room.

Shocked, Hermione raised her tear stained face to see Professor McGonagall along with Madam Pomfrey standing in her bathroom door and then seconds later James and Sirius, breathless and red faced came running into the bathroom as well.

Mortified and beyond herself, Hermione 'Eep!' and quickly crouched down to cover herself as the two older ladies turned their incredulous eyes on the two boys who both blushed furiously.

"Out!" McGonagall screeched as Pomfrey rushed over to a horrified Hermione. "_Get out both of you!_" she cried shrilly, ushering the stone cold boys out with Sirius glancing back at Hermione just as McGonagall gave the back of his head a hard smack and Poppy slammed the door to the bathroom shut.

Hermione, still wide eyed and crying gazed at Pomfrey with in complete shock as the nurse came right back to her side with her face a mask of complete concern. She could hear McGonagall screeching at the boys about a window through the door.

"Miss. Black, please tell me what has happened." the nurse spoke soothingly as Hermione raised her eyes to meet hers. Numbly, Hermione opened her mouth but found that she could speak no words. "Oh dear. You're in shock. It's alright. I've got just the stuff... Ah, here we go. Take this." she ordered, tilting Hermione's head and placing a small vial at her lips that Hermione drank. It was a tasteless liquid that trickled down her throat coldly. Hermione sputtered at the sensation for a moment but felt definitely calmer afterwards.

"Right, so why don't you tell me what has happened, hmm?" Pomfrey asked again as Hermione took a deep breath to explain and Pomfrey wrapped her in a big fluffy white towel.

And as she recounted her story, if she was hoping to be able to read any emotion on the nurses face she was sorely disappointed. Pomfrey just listened with an impenetrable expression, nodding along and listening with rapt attention.

"-And then that's when you all came in." Hermione said taking a deep breath after she was done. For a long moment Pomfrey just stared at the ground and processed before she nodded firmly and stood herself and Hermione up.

"Right. How about we get you dressed and back into bed first and then I'll administer a potion that will fix you right up." She responded, ushering Hermione gently out of the room.

"But, I don't want to go back to bed! I want to know what's going on! What's happening to me? Why did that stuff appear on my back? What does it m-" Hermione started digging into Pomfrey before she trailed off, her brown eyes took in the state of her room. Glass littered the floor and beds by the broken in window that still had pieces still bent hazardously in the frame. Hermione took it in with astonishment as Poppy tusked and brandished her wand, quickly flicking her wrist. The fragments of the glass and frame all shot up and fixed itself back into its proper shape.

"I suspect that was Mr. Black and Mr. Potter's doing," Madam Pomfrey said disapprovingly with a shake of her head. "Foolish lot they are. Anyway, I must insist upon your rest Ms. Black. I can assure you your body needs it tremendously. And I'll hear no if and or buts about it. Now get dressed and into that bed!" she ordered promptly, her brown eyes daring Hermione to refuse her. Defeated, Hermione just sighed frustratingly and stomped over to her dresser table where she threw on the first thing she could fine before throwing herself onto the bed.

When Hermione was tucked under her covers, Madam Pomfrey, came over to her bed side and held up two potions she had just procured from her apron.

"This is a sleeping draught. It will knock you right out so you can rest your pretty head without any annoying thoughts buzzing about. And this is a potion you need only to take once just when you start your period. It stops all bleeding and cramping as the egg goes through its cycle. All you have to do is ask me for it and I'll give you the little guy in a jiffy, its called _Fetalicidation_. A miracle for all woman, truly!" Promfrey announced setting the sleeping draught down and handing Hermione the other.

Unsure, Hermione uncorked the potion and sniffed it.

"Well I'm not about to poison ya! Drink up!" Promfrey cried giving Hermione a stern look. Grimacing, Hermione plugged her nose and then tilted the potion back. It was foul and she nearly gagged but she drank it entirely along with the draught. She knew it had worked instantly as she flopped heavily down onto her pillows and could no longer focus on Pomfrey.

"S-strong." Hermione mumbled sleepily as she guessed Promfrey smiled at her though she wasn't really sure. Everything was getting so out of focus.

Then Hermione feel into a dreamless sleep. She woke up a whole twenty four hours later to her blood red curtains of her bed hangings shut tight. She remembered yesterdays events clearly and immediately twisted herself and raised her shirt to inspect her back.

It was no longer glowing which was a huge relieve but there on her skin was a brown tattoo in swirls all down her back. Hermione stared at it for so long she nearly went cross eyed. Sighing, she let her shirt drop and turned back to her front and curled into herself. She was at a loss as to what to do, what to think... she just knew that something was not right about everything; about her magic, her body and her mind. It made her incredibly scared and she felt tears building in her eyes that she couldn't help but let lose.

When the sounds of her fellow roommates stirring occurred many minutes later, Hermione had cried herself out but was by no means feeling okay. She stayed perfectly still in her bed and waited till the sounds of them departing before she finally peeled back her curtains and threw a leg off the side of her bed.

"So you were awake."Lily's voice spoke quietly from the bed across from hers. Hermione's eyes immediately flew to Lily's cautious green eyes.

"Lily." Hermione responded lamely, stepping fully out of her bed and tiredly eyeing the concerned girl.

"What's happened yesterday Hermione? You never turned up for classes and Dumbledore even came specifically up to us to tell us that you were not to be disturbed...and then James and Sirius told us that they had heard you screaming and they're saying all sorts of things... starting up rumors, the dumb nitwits" Lily said spitefully leading Hermione to believe that Lily had probably yelled at the boys.

Unsure of what to tell her new found friend, Hermione just bit her lip and decided to show her.

"Promise me you wont tell a soul about anything you see or hear." Hermione said melodramtically, Lily nodded furiously with wide eyes.

"I promise!"

Hermione turned around and hiked up the back of her night shirt and peered at Lily over her shoulder to watch her reaction. And Lily gasped satisfyingly and sprung up from her bed and closer to Hermione's back with her eyes wide and her lips parted.

"Hermione is that-"

"Yep, or at least I think it is." Hermione said frowning as Lily peered curiously into her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Well no one explained it to me yesterday. Madam Promfrey just knocked my out with a sleeping draught before I could question her." Hermione said angrily as Lily's eyes flashed.

"That's not right! You've got a freaking tattoo on your back!" She exclaimed as Hermione nodded. "Okay, so tell me everything from the moment I left for breakfast."

So Hermione did, receiving impressive gasps and no ways from Lily as she recalled her story as she dressed for the day.

"But I don't understand...how did McGonagall and Madam Promfrey know to come to your room? Do you think maybe a student went for help when they heard you screaming?" Lily asked pensively as Hermione actually let the girl do her hair for her.

"No, I think it was that bird... The phoenix..." Hermione said, eyeing Lily's face for her reaction.

"I don't know... We don't even know what it was and how would it be able to tell them that you needed help. It wasn't like it could talk, could it?" Lily asked unsure to which Hermione shrugged.

"I haven't the faintest, but I will find out today. I promise you that!" Hermione vowed.

This turned out rather easy for her since Dumbledore had already planned to speak to her in the first place. She had received a memo telling her to come to the headmasters office with a time and password.

For Hermione, the day couldn't go any slower. Being around James and Sirius or even catching sight of them was beyond unbearable to Hermione and they just seemed to be _everywhere_! It didn't help that each time the boys saw her they would blush a scarlet red and stare out her as if eyeing a strange, rare beast. Lily had taken care of threatening the boys for Hermione to not even mention a word about seeing her naked yesterday and so far as Hermione could tell they had kept their traps shut. It didn't help ease her embarrassment though.

Needless to say, Hermione was very relieved when the time to speak to Dumbledore arose, eager to get away from the boys and to get some answers.

The feeling that sparked in Hermione entering Dumbledore's door office was one she was not sure she completely understood. She was in awe of the trinkets and the frames but for some reason not entirely as much as she should have been. She almost felt a sense of deja-vu...

Speaking to Dumbledore had given Hermione, not so much answers but a peace of mind. He had explained not is so many words, that she had experienced an onslaught of uncontrollable benevolent magic with the coming of her passage into woman hood. This had confused Hermione who was just turned twelve in September but Dumbledore had explained that this was normal for some girls to experience. The question of the tattoo, however, was definitely the most elusive Dumbledore was during their discussion with him trying to get away with simply stating that it was the tell tale sign of ancient magic. For all of Hermione's why questions, why did she have it? why did it only appear today? why did it glow? and why this and that, Dumbledore had answered only vaguely and confessed that he was not sure about it himself.

When Hermione left it was with a troubled mind and a nagging feeling that didn't leave her all week long, much to Lily's concerned chagrin who only wanted Hermione to embark with her into the joys of Christmas spirit.

She was extremely relieved when it was time to return home for the holidays. She had actually cried when she saw Marius, so happy to finally see a comforting welcome face that truly loved her.

Hermione held nothing back as she retold Marius every single detail of her times at Hogwarts since the moment of their departure from the train station. He had been just what Hermione needed, offering her a heart warming comforting hug at her distraught about well everything and she let herself cry, feeling safe and whole.

She couldn't help but feel that life was playing a cruel trick on her when Marius informed her that they would be spending Christmas Eve together with the Potter family. She had thrown a miny hissy fit. She pulled herself together, however, when she saw how much it meant to her dear old Uncle Marius. The day of, Hermione woke up to a similar scene to the day they went to Diagon Alley.

Marius was rushing her and she was biting back her tongue the entire time he fussed over her tardiness and appearance. She had already done her hair and she was wearing the bloody frilly dress he wanted her to wear, which she had stared at incredulously for a good five minutes thinking of all the horrible ways James was going to tease her once he saw her.

When they got to the blasted place, Hermione couldn't help but be impressed with the Potter estate. It looked magical. Snow feel from the ceiling prettily in the same charm Marius used and there was mistletoe and tiny cute elves soaring about in the grand ballroom with the biggest tree Hermione had ever seen in person. The decorations of beautifully carved ice sculptures and festive life enchanted Hermione entirely but she still felt a trickle of nervousness with the large scale of people mingling about. She wondered how they would even find the Potters in the crowd and looked up to assess Marius but found him to be cool and confident as he gazed around with her hand holding hers.

"Uncle Marius how-" Before she could finish, a strange wide eyed creature appeared out of thin air bowing before them with a loud pop that made Hermione scream very unbecomingly.

"Welcome most noble Master Black and Mistress Black, Lulu will announce arrival now." the little creature declared to a shocked Hermione and a cool, calm and collected Marius who inclined his head ever so slightly. Hermione scrambled to school her face into a more dignified expression as the house elf turned and snapped her fingers. A pleasing sounding chime warmly resonated throughout the hall and turned all of guests attention to the new arrivals. Hermione gulped and tightly squeezed Marius's hand.

"A warm welcome to the noble Master Marius Black and his daughter Miss Hermione Black." announced the clearly audible elf in a voice that sounded exactly like Dorea Potter. Hermione blushed faintly as a polite clapping sounded from the guest and she hastily curtsied at their audience, earning a fare few awes and smiles. Marius beamed beside her as he moved them towards a table to their left and the attention was taken off of them.

Hermione sighed in relief just before spotting the Potter family making their way to them. Dorea Potter looked extraordinary as she seemed to glide her way to the pair in an elegant glimmering silver gown looking fresh faced yet regal as she smiled to some people as she passed. The man next to her, obviously her husband, was almost the spitting image of James except way older and mature with brown wavy hair. Trailing behind them was a slightly smirking James, who met the eyes of everyone he passed as he took slightly bouncing steps with his hands hooked in the belt loops of his trousers. Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes at him but immediately smiled when they came upon them.

She watched self consciously as James took in her dress and properly done hair and felt her hand twitch when he smirked mockingly at her and pointed at her dress with mirth out of his mother's line of sight. Hermione just flashed him a glare before she turned her attention to Dorea who was smiling brightly and bending slightly to kiss Marius's cheek.

"Brother! A happy Christmas eve! I know its been a while since you've seen my husband Charlus." Mrs. Potter sighed gesturing to her husband who stuck out his hand for Marius to shake.

"Good to see you again." The men exchanged with smiles as Dorea turned her eyes upon Hermione.

"Oh my! Don't you look just darling Hermione!" the woman exclaimed, swooping down to give Hermione a warm hug and kiss on the cheek, Hermione blushed again at the warm welcome and smiled shyly.

"Thank you Mrs. Potter." Hermione said as the woman beamed at her and turned to her husband.

"This stunning little lady was the one I was telling you about Charlus. She most definitely can give our James a run for his money with her wit and charms." Dorea said coyly as her husband and Marius laughed as James just frowned and rolled his eyes. Hermione couldn't help but giggle.

"He's a close second rival." Hermione responded as Dorea gave her a curious glance.

"Second rival?" she asked and Hermione giggled.

"Yes, he's only a second rival. Lily would be the first since she can keep up with me in most of our classes." Hermione said as James flushed angrily and she sent him a challenging glance.

"Ho ho! Seems my son is bested by two females! Best to get that lesson over with young I suppose." Charlus said with a smirk and a pat to Marius's back as Dorea nodded.

"Well I bested Hermione when I saw her naked last week!" James exclaimed as Hermione balked and Dorea and Charlus froze. Immediately, Charlus Potter scuffed his son in the back of his head who yelled loudly in protest and Dorea turned outraged eyes onto James.

"What did you just say young man!" she exclaimed before quickly marching over to James and pulling onto his ear as he owed constantly.

"Oh mum! It's only the truth and it's not that I meant to see her on purpose. She was just howling her bloody head off and so me and Sirius went to check on her and she was naked." He explained as Hermione felt her face burning in mortification and Dorea ran a hand down her face and shock her head in exasperation. Charlus gave his son a hard pinch.

"We are so sorry Marius." Dorea said beseechingly as she turned her grey eyes on her brother. Marius shook his head with a slightly amused expression and a dismissal wave of his hand.

"Ah, its alright. Kids will be kids, Dorea." Marius responded as Dorea gave him a grateful smile before turning to Hermione.

"And are you alright Hermione." the woman asked kindly as Hermione blushed even more and glance away shrugging.

"I'm fine, it was an accident anyway." she responded just before she hard Dorea give James another good hard pinch to his arm.

"Ow!" he exclaimed rubbing his arm that had been pinched twice in the same spot but Dorea just gave him a stern glance.

"Apologize for Hermione for being a terribly improper boy." Dorea said pointing at Hermione. James frowned, his face a little red with embarassment and regret as he kicked at nothing on the ground and shot her little remorseful glance.

"I'm really sorry for being an improper boy, Hermione." he mumbled but Dorea looked far from satisfied as she grabbed his chin and turned his face to Hermione.

"A little louder James." Dorea started before Hermione took pity on James.

"It's really alright Mrs. Potter. I forgive James." Hermione said as Dorea turned her angry eyes onto her and softened softly.

"Well thank you Hermione. That is very gracious of you." Dorea responded. Hermione awkwardly shrugged and looked anywhere but at James whose pride had just taken a big blow.

The rest of the night took a turn for a better however awkward it was in the beginning. She had enjoyed the meal and learned a lot about the Potter family once James had gotten over himself and talked to her after apologizing again and when it was time to leave, it was with a full belly and a slightly regretful feeling at having to leave when she felt she could have stayed playing all night long.

The rest of the Christmas break passed with Hermione never once going to the hillside with Zero to even risk seeing Sirius. She was still mightily embarrassed about the incident in her room and she really didn't want to go through another incident like with James at Christmas for no matter how much she had told him she had forgiven him it still made her want to keep away.

All to soon it felt like, Hermione was back in Hogwarts. She passed her days mostly studying for school or speculating with Lily about her mysterious back tattoo. Lily had even convinced Hermione, after a month of fruitless labor pouring over tattoo marks in the library, to enlist the help of Severus. It was definitely comical the look on his face when Hermione had lifted up the back of her shirt and showed him the marked skin. She had even seen him lift his hand up as if he was going to touch it but he immediately brought it back down again and Hermione just brushed it off. Lily had been right when she promised that Severus was good at finding things out. He perused the library even better than she did and even went so far as sneaking into the restricted section of the library but it all was for naught.

And then the school year was over much to Hermione's relief. Sure being at Hogwarts was not as bad as Hermione thought but she was still eager to go back home to Marius and to see Zero again and to get away from magic for a while. Though magic hadn't unnerved her as much as it had in the beginning she still was not entire comfortable around it despite her proficiency. She craved normalcy again or at least as much she could get with a huge unknown magical tattoo on her backside.

Hermione departed Lily, Severus and Frank, who had become quite fond of her when he saw his passing mark in charms because of help, with promises to write and shared quick hugs with the three she had surprising grown to like quite a bit, much to the shock of Severus and delight of Lily and Frank.

Of course, she spotted Marius waiting for her with the Potters. James was already standing with his parents with, much to Hermione's displeasure, Sirius. The two boys looked completely lost in their own world, however, as they chatted animatedly together about something, probably evil pranks for next year. She didn't let the sight of them ruin her happiness at being reunited with Marius, she just ran at the older man and launched herself at him much like she always did without any shame. She missed the longing looks Sirius shot at her and once she was done with her reunion she saw no sign of him, just heard James's parents saying what a charming fellow he was.

Seeing Sirius had reminded Hermione that she would most likely encounter the insufferable prankster toss pot during summer.

And she was definitely not looking forward to it.

A/N: THANKS SO MUCH! I know I keep saying it but I am so touched at all the great responses. I'll say I'm sorry now since I just don't have the energy to comment on each review for the last chapter. It is three o clock in the morning...I promise I'll do it next time ladies and gents just now that I appreciate them all and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you've got a question feel free to ask and I'll respond via a PM message! Thanks guys!


	6. A Sirius Summer

...^_^... Almost two months later...

The lush green grass tickled Hermione's skin as a pleasant breeze wafted her hair and the letter in her hands. She smiled as she read the adamant words of her friend Lily as she wrote about her summer so far with her best friend Severus and all the fun little excursions they went on. She could just picture an excited Lily huddled beside a more quietly excited Severus as they read the latest Daily Prophet article they stole from Severus's mum.

Hermione wished so much that she could be there with them, feeling slightly left out by herself lying on the park grass. It had been a surprisingly lonely summer for Hermione who spent most of her time in solitude with Zero. She had less encounters with Sirius than she had thought she would mostly because she refused to even speak to him when he was still hanging out with those good for nothing boys. On the instances when they did happen to cross paths she had merely stuck her nose up at his rowdy over exaggerated greetings and hurried off.

She was more than disgusted with his band of friends that seemed to have increased during the summer. It was now a group of six boys and she just hated catching Sirius with a cig in his mouth as he laughed with his mates and flipped through raunchy magazines with naked girls on motorcycles. She would always hurry away with Zero but Sirius would never just leave her alone, he always came running after her and kidnapping Zero and she would be forced to stand there as he played around with _her_ dog and listen to his stupid voice.

Hermione shook her head of her thoughts of the frustrating boy and got back to Lily's letter. She laughed out loud at the small penned words of Severus at the bottom of Lily's letter that told her he would try to sneak her some stink sap to throw onto Sirius when she saw him again.

"Well looky hereeeee!" Hermione groaned and rolled her eyes as Sirius and band of toss pots came to her.

"Go away Sirius!" Hermione said getting up from her spot on the floor as Sirius beamed at her.

"But you look so lonely hanging around by yourself! Come to Sir Williams Cabin with me, Hermione. I promise you it will be fun!" Sirius spoke with a small smirk as he threw an arm around her shoulders. Hermione brutally shoved him off and stared angrily into his amused grey eyes.

"I most certainly will not! I wouldn't ever go anywhere with you and your lot." Hermione hissed indignantly glaring at them. Sirius pouted and shoved his hands into his pocket as the boys behind him ooed obnoxiously.

"Well that's not very nice Hermione. You make us sound like a bunch of brutes!" Sirius said as Hermione smirked.

"Well if the shoe fits..." Hermione trailed off as the letter in her hand was rudely snatched away. Hermione immediately opened her mouth in angry protest but was cut off by John Marlow.

"Hey what is this? A love letter?" He asked rudely as the boys around her laughed as she tried to grab at the letter he was holding just out of her reach.

"Give it back to me! Just how old are you? Your acting like a child! Just give me back my letter!" Hermione hollered as John laughed meanly, roughly reaching out to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her uncomfortably close. Hermione flushed at the bizarre move she never experienced before and pulled as far away from him as she could as he leaned down close to her face with dangerous eyes.

"I am fourteen!" John said maliciously as all the other boys but Sirius laughed.

"Get away from me!" Hermione cried kicking out and hitting John right in his shins.

"Ow you little bitch!" John screamed letting go of her letter to reach his arm back to hit her. Hermione flinched and closed her eyes.

"That's enough!" She heard Sirius yell, and immediately opened her eyes to see Sirius standing toe to toe with John and holding the older boys arm back. John looked incredulously at Sirius.

"What the fuck? Let go of my arm!"

"Not until you apologize to Hermione." Sirius said in a voice Hermione never heard before gripping the older boys arm with a tight fist. It was low and dangerous and his normally light grey eyes a dark stormy grey.

"Are you mad? I'm not apologizing to the little twat-" but before John could even finish his sentence, Sirius had sunk his fist into his face. Immediately Johns head snapped back and blood erupted from his nose as Sirius stood there enraged. John recovered quickly and stared with disbelief at Sirius before he howled enraged and launched himself at him, making them both crash painfully to the ground.

Hermione screamed in horror as the rest of the boys formed a ring around the two and she watched John sink his fist repeatedly into Sirius face. She could see each painful connection but was shocked by the enraged determination Sirius had on his face as he managed to flip John over onto his back on the ground and started wailing on the boys face in return.

"No! Stop it! Stop hitting each other!" Hermione screamed as tears flowed down her face. She decided to try to break the boys apart but was roughly pushed onto her bum by a boy in the circle. Sirius saw this and literally growled as he threw himself at the boy and they both toppled onto the ground. "Sirius!" Hermione screamed as he just fiercely hit the boy all over. John too sprang up to his feet, his face beet red with blood anger and adrenaline as he reached out and viscously pulled Sirius by his hair off the boy and threw him onto the ground. The other boy got up as well and both of them started kicking Sirius down on the ground.

"Stop it!" Hermione roared, not even pausing to think as she threw herself on top of Sirius and started taking the blows. She grunted at the continuous impact of their kicks to her side but managed to grab hold of one of their feet that was heading towards her face and sunk her teeth into his ankle.

Sirius recovered from his shock and screamed at her to stay out of it and to run away as he scrambled back up and punched the boy she had her teeth embedded into just before John grabbed hold of him and they started fighting again.

"You fucking bitch!" the boy screamed, reaching down and harshly grabbing Hermione's hair by the roots upwards. Hermione's face screwed up in pain as she was forced to follow the pull up to her feet and her face was brought up to his face mad with rage as he reached back and smacked her so badly she was flung down onto her back with the force.

And then it was like time slowed. She could hear Sirius's loud howling roar as she numbly brought a hand up to her face and slowly brought her eyes back up to the boy who just smacked her. She could see Sirius racing toward the boy in her peripheral but that didn't matter. Only her blinding rage mattered as her eyes connect to the boys figure already launching his foot out to hit her again and then a word flouted through her head... And then it was like everything exploded. A powerful wave of pure force made all the boys around her fly back through the air, including Sirius, and land a few feet away.

Hermione gasped, completely horrified at her unleashed magic, as the boys groaned dazedly. She acted instinctually as she raced to her feet over to where Sirius was still on his back. Hermiones panicked eyes took in his badly bloodied, cut and bruising face as she fell to her knees beside him and gently smacked his dazed face.

"Sirius! Sirius! Get up! Hurry!" Hermione cried, her eyes nervously glancing at the other dazed boys still on their backs. Sirius gazed up at her and frowned as he reached up and lightly touched the back of his head.

"What happened?" he asked as she turned back to look at him.

"We have to run! Come on get up Sirius!" Hermione begged, pulling on his arm to get him up. "I've done magic Sirius! They're gonna come after us! We've gotta run!" Hermione said desperately tugging on his arm as Sirius finally caught on and started running to the exit of the park.

They said nothing as they ran, Sirius's tight grip on Hermione's hand helping to speed her up slightly. They didn't go to the hillside, knowing that his ex-mates would come looking for them there. Instead they ran in the complete opposite direction towards the main streets and Hermione followed Sirius as he weaved them through houses and down back roads until they reached a running trail.

Sirius finally slowed down when they got to the trail and braced on hand on his knees with the other still holding her hand. They stayed like that for minutes as they tried to catch their breaths. Tears ran down Hermione's face when the adrenaline and shock wore off and she realized what had just occurred.

"Sirius, they're going to expel me now, aren't they?" Hermione said with wide distraught brown eyes. Sirius sighed but flashed her soft grin that made him wince.

"They wont expel you Hermione, don't be such a worry wort." Sirius responded easily as Hermione shook her head.

"But I did magic!" Hermione cried as Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but it was clearly accidental... you didn't even have a wand!" he countered which made Hermione pause for a second with doubt.

"But accidental magic stops when you turn eleven-"

"That's a loud of rubbish. Accidental magic continues in small bouts until at least fourteen or maturity." Sirius retorted smartly and for a second Hermione let herself be impressed.

"That maybe so but what I just did wasn't a small bout, Sirius." Hermione whispered making his eyes waver.

"You wont be expelled." Sirius vowed strongly, giving her hand a little squeeze. Hermione just shot him a dubious look.

"Oh Sirius-"

"No! You won't be expelled Hermione! I wont allow it! I'll talk to my father, he works in the ministry... I'll beg him not to let them expel you!" Sirius said fiercely, tightening their clasped hands and stepping towards her to stare her better in the eyes.

"You'd do that for me?" Hermione asked as Sirius nodded. Hermione bit her lip and felt her heart skip a little bit as she peered at him through her lashes.

"Of course I would."

"But why? We're not even friends any more-"

"I never decided that," Sirius said quickly, interrupting her. "I never stopped thinking we were friends."

"But we haven't spoken civilly to each other in over a year!"

"That was just a very long disagreement," Sirius said with a dismissal shrug as Hermione just grinned at him with a shake of her head. "You've been my friend since the moment I deemed you Buttons!"

"So your basically telling me that I don't have a say in this. Your my friend for as long as you think me so even if I don't think so." she said as Sirius smiled brightly at her with a nod of his head.

"Now she gets it!"

"Your crazy!" she exclaimed laughing. "Completely mad!"

"No, I'm Sirius." he responded with a cheshire grin. Hermione groaned with a playful eye roll.

"Oh not those jokes again!" she exclaimed as Sirius continued to tease her. They stayed at the trail for a while longer despite Hermione's badgering for them to leave so he could get his wounds all fixed up. Hermione decided on their walk back to Grimmauld place to ask Sirius a question that had been nagging at her for over a year.

"Hey Sirius?" Hermione called to where he was walking idly slightly a head of her with his hands behind his head and a perk in his step.

"Hmm?" he called back.

"Why do you call me buttons?" she asked, surprised when Sirius stopped walking and flashed her a grin over his shoulder.

"You really want to know?" he asked impishly as Hermione pondered his devious response.

"Well now I'm not sure with that reaction." she mumbled as Sirius just smirked and walked back to her. Hermione eyed him wearily as he stopped in front of her all up in her space, once again displaying his complete disregard to personal boundaries.

"Too late." he said before reaching a hand up to her face and trailed a finger down her nose. Hermione blushed and tried to take a step back but Sirius's other hand whipped out and held onto her wrist to hold her in place.

"Uh, Sirius what are you doing?" Hermione asked, with a nervous flutter in her heart. Sirius just grinned as he cupped her chin and tilted her face slightly, his eyes roving her face as she stayed stock still. Her heart was pounding so loudly she just hoped Sirius couldn't hear it.

"It's your face." he whispered as Hermione blinked in a dazed confusion.

"My-my face?" she whispered back. Sirius nodded slowly, his eyes twinkling with something Hermione couldn't name.

"Yeah, everything about it is as cute as a button, you know." he stated with a shrug as Hermione flushed even more.

"Wha-"

"Like your nose, and your mouth and your lashes."

"My lashes?"

"Yeah, there really pretty, dark and long. And your cheeks."

"Okay, now your just being weird Sirius."

"No, I'm being serious. Not Sirius, Sirius...like actual serious," Hermione giggled giddily as Sirius smiled genuinely. "And I guess it's your laugh too and the cute way your blushing." he continued as Hermione tried to contain her heart pounding and giddy emotions.

"Your teasing me-"

"I'll prove to you I'm not teasing." Sirius said with an easy smile as Hermione felt a thrill run through her body.

"And how will you do th-" she was abruptly cut of when Sirius's lips met hers in a feather light touch. Hermione's eyes widened comically as she stared right into his closed lids. They were so close she could even count each lash if she wanted to. Her heart soared in her chest when she overcame her shock and Sirius's eyes fanned open and locked onto her own with their mouths still connected. Sirius stared staring into her eyes for a few seconds before he pulled his lips away soundlessly, blushing to the roots of his head.

They both looked away at the same time with equally red faces. After a moment of embarrassed, heart pounding silence Sirius cleared his throat and gazed back at her with a cheeky grin.

"See, told ya i'd prove it." he said with a barking laugh as Hermione felt a grateful relief at the broken tension and playfully reached out to swipe at Sirius's arm.

"You're silly." she said with a smile as Sirius caught her hand and intertwined their fingers. Hermione felt another thrill spike through her as Sirius smiled into her face and they started walking.

"No, I'm Sirius."

And for the rest of the way he didn't let go of her hand.

Of course, the letter from the ministry was waiting for her along with an enraged Marius when she got home. She explained everything that happened and was relieved to find that she had only gotten a warning with the ministry. Marius's anger, however, was far from ebbing but not at her but at those boys. He demanded to know their names so he could have a good talking with their parents but Hermione didn't know too many besides John Marlow and Marius was far from satisified and warned her to stay away from the places she would usually hang out at until he found out.

Later that night, Hermione was a blushing, squealing mess as she recounted the days events in a letter to Lily. She made sure to beg her friend not to tell Severus for obvious reasons. After a while of debating to herself whether to even send the letter to her temperamental red headed friend who had less then friendly feelings for Sirius Hermione decided that honesty was the best policy and sent Lily's owl off. Plus, she also just really wanted to tell somebody about her first kiss.

She managed to calm her heart enough to go to sleep a little while later, wondering when she would see Sirius again and what kissing him actually meant... if she was his, his _girlfriend_ now. She giggled at the thought and had dreams of the boy the entire night.

A/N: I know! Another freaking chapter in the same day, even though it is shorter than the usual! I'm crazy right? I've been writing for this fic like a fiend But I am just feeling so grateful to you readers giving me so far 12 O_O! reviews in just this day alone that I couldn't resist putting this up for you guys...and also because If I continued on with this chapter than it would be way too long writing about her second year and so I split it up ;p thank you all for your reviews! This chapter is for you guys!


	7. Second Year

When Hermione woke up the next day, she immediately went out after breakfast with Zero to the hillside despite Marius's warning. Luckily none of those boys came by but neither did Sirius.

Lily's letter came the next day at breakfast and was exactly what Hermione thought it would be, bad. Lily had blatantly told Hermione that there was no way Sirius deserved any of Hermione's attention let alone kisses after all she had seen him do this summer and the past year. She made Hermione feel incredibly guilty reminding her of the pains of Severus and really put the cherry on top when she said she would be really disappointed if Hermione let Sirius off the hook so easily.

Needless to say, it really put a damper on Hermione's giddy feelings. She wrote back to Lily that she understood everything Lily was saying was right but she never gave a definite answer on leaving Sirius alone. Instead she went out everyday to the hillside and waited for Sirius with Zero, but for the rest of the Summer he never came.

...-_-...

Kings Cross station was packed to full capacity. Hermione could barely even see Marius through the crowds of people and if it wasn't for his vice like grip he had on her hand she was pretty sure that she would have been swallowed up in the mad rush of people. Her nervous little heart fluttered as they came to the barrier of platform nine and three quarters.

"Uncle Marius!" Hermione blurted out, giving his hand a hard tug to stop him as she eyed the platform. Marius turned to her inquisitively as Hermione bit her lip and showed him her scared eyes. Marius smiled warmly at her expression and pulled her into a hug without words needing to be exchanged.

"It's going to be okay, Hermione. The worst has already passed with your coming of age last year-"

"But the magic! It's still so...unstable." Hermione confessed, remembering what happened with the boys in the park. Hermione could see a sort of struggle as he gazed down at her before he sighed.

"You are different Hermione, that is true, but being different is not a bad thing. What you have can be something so precious and amazing if you let it. Don't be afraid of who you are, alright princess?" Marius said, staring into her eyes. Hermione nodded and he gave her tiny hand a squeeze as they went through the barrier to the other side.

Hermione's eyes immediately scoured the train station for raven hair of Sirius but of course she had no luck in the muck of people. She felt a tinge of annoyance and embarrassment when she glanced at Maruis and saw his knowing grin.

"Don't worry, princess, you'll see Mr. Charming on the train, I suspect." Marius said as Hermione pouted and looked away with butterflies in her stomach.

"I wasn't looking for Sirius." Hermione mumbled as she stomped off, Marius chuckled all wisely behind her.

"Ah young love..." she heard him say, making her twist toward him in a flash with her still unmanageable hair whipping out around her.

"I do not love Sirius!" Hermione yelled with her face aflame as Marius gave a 'ho ho ho!' laugh that made Hermione cross her arms and huff. The moment turned serious when Marius stepped up to Hermione and knelled down to gaze firmly into her eyes, his own startling blue eyes holding resigned sadness.

"You make sure to be careful, alright?" he said deeply, holding onto both of Hermione shoulders as she gave him an inquisitive look but nodded. "Good. Just, don't go around poking yourself into any funny business and keep your head down, you hear me? Don't let anyone get the best of you and rile you up!" he continued as Hermione nodded her head vigorously.

"I won't!" she swore as Marius sighed and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Alright," he said with a barely noticeable tremble in his voice and hands. "and I want you to write to me everyday."

"Of course!" Hermione said also clutching him tightly. "and you promise me that you'll be nice to Zero while I'm gone. Show her a picture of me everyday so she doesn't forget my face!" Hermione said, remember the dogs funny reaction when Hermione came home and how long it took her to get back into a comfortable state with her.

"I will. Now you better go, don't want someone to take up your spot next to that Sirius boy." Marius teased as he released her making Hermione gasp and hit her guardian lightly on the arm.

"Uncle Marius! I already told you!"

"I know, I know. You don't like him! Now go or you'll miss the train!" Marius replied with a smile as Hermione felt tears well up in her eyes as she stepped on board.

"I'll miss you." she called out to him as he nodded.

"I'll miss you too, I love you!" he responded just as the train doors started to close and she was forced away.

"I love you too." she said to herself as she watched him throw the window.

"Hermione!" she heard Lily's voice called out, and quickly wiping her cheeks of her tears, Hermione turned toward the beautiful slightly tanned red head bounding toward her with the pale as ever Severus behind her.

"I've been looking all over for you!" Lily said, grabbing hold onto Hermione's arm and dragging her along the train as Hermione exchanged a curious glance with Severus that ended with a smile of greeting.

"Oh, have you?" Hermione asked loftily as Lily dragged her excitedly into an empty compartment.

"Yes! I have something to-well we have something to tell you." Lily continued as she shut the door and sat Hermione down onto one side of the room and her and Severus sat at the other. She sat in increasing curiosity as she eyed her two friends, especially since even Severus looked a little excited.

"Well what is it? Don't keep me in suspense!" Hermione said eagerly as Lily beamed.

"Well, I've been dying to tell you almost all summer long but it's just not something you put in a letter,see," Lily started, her cat-like green eyes sparkling mischievously as she leaned conspiratorially towards Hermione. "You know how we've been pulling one over Sev's mum, nicking her newspaper and such." Lily asked as Hermione nodded her head.

"Yes, yes! Go on!"

"Yeah Lils, your _really_ dragging it on." Sev piped up as Lily just ignored him and edged even closer to Hermione.

"Well, that's not _all_ we've been doing. We managed to sneak into her library too. At first we didn't know what that door was that she had all secretive like in the basement but Sev reckoned he could get us in there and he did! It was brilliant! His mum still doesn't even know..."

"The point Lily..." Sev drawled but Hermione could see the pleased blush on his cheeks.

"And well we went in and it was a library or well more like a book case but, whatever! Point is we got in and poked around at the books and found that Sev's mum keeps Dark Art books down there and Potions and stuff. So Sev and I started reading around and then I thought about you! And that thing that's on your back cause me and Sev got to talking and we just couldn't think of how if it was a good thing we wouldn't be able to read up about it at Hogwarts, or even a hint of it, so it must be something dark. So we read and read and then I read something that sounded similar!" Lily spoke breathlessly, her eyes alight as a nervious twinge shot down in Hermione's stomach that made her feel slightly queasy. Lily didn't notice but Severus managed to catch on to Hermione's slightly frowning and pale face.

"What did you find out?" Hermione barely managed to ask through frozen lips as Lily smiled and Sev frowned. She saw Sev reach out and lightly pinch Lily making the girl pause just as she was about to answer.

"What?" Lily asked Sev who frowned at Lily's complete lack of subtleness.

"Er, maybe now is not the right time..." Sev stressed shooting a look at Hermione as Lily frowned at him in question but turned her eyes onto Hermione. Her eyes widened as understanding and motification dawned in her eyes.

"Oh Hermione I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking about-I only- I'm sorry! I should have realized you wouldn't want to be hearing this!" Lily exclaimed as Hermione just shook her head.

"No, tell me Lily! Please! I wont be able to relax if you don't tell me, I'll just torture myself thinking of up the worst things..." Hermione trailed off as Lily bit her lip and gave Hermione a sympathetic look and Sev sighed.

"We found out that it most likely _is_ dark magic, Hermione," Sev continued from where Lily stopped. "If it is in fact what we read than its a sacrificial tattoo but it's only been said to be done on one other person, an olden time woman named Odette."

"Go on."

"It said that depending on if the woman was sane or not then what she claimed had happened to her to acquire the tattoo was she made a deal with an angel to forfeit her life to save the life of her son who she claimed had died. The thing is he wasn't dead! and she said that that was precisely the point!" Lily finished as Hermione frowned in thought and discomfort.

"So what? Did she die? Was the tattoo a mark of her fate?" Hermione asked with a nervous little laugh as Lily and Severus exchanged looks.

"That't just it. Nobody knows just what happened because she had already apparently 'completed' her sacrifice, or so she said. The only reason it was in the book we read was because they tied the mark to Odette's extremely powerful wandless magic and knowledge of things not yet passed."

At Severus's words, Hermione felt her heart freeze up. A nauseous feeling erupted in her stomach and her head started to pound. She took a deep breath and eyed her two friends.

"Did you guys happen to bring the book with you?" Hermione chocked out through her pain as Lily and Sev's face both turned guilty and concerned.

"Hermione are you alr-"

"Did you?" she interrupted as Lily bit her lip and shook her head.

"No, I'm sorry. We couldn't bring it with us or else Sev's mum would have found out." Lily explained as just then their compartment door opened.

Hermione managed to just catch the shock of black hair in the door frame and the gorgeous grey colored eyes before she blacked out.

...-_-...

Waking up had been an unpleasant experience for Hermione who felt extremely mortified and weak at the same time. She had learned in her slumbering state that Lily, Severus almost fought with James and Sirius but a professor had come to check the compartments and stopped the fight before anything could happen. He had also given Hermione some candies to help her blood sugar and give her a temporary energy boost as he performed spells.

Sirius and James fighting Lily and Sev, had prevented Hermione from being able to question Sirius on why he went AWOL during the summer break after they kissed. They sat far away from each other during the sorting and Hermione tried not to sneak glances at him behind Lily's back. It was hard. The next day, however, Hermione would not be deterred from confronting the _seriously_ frustrating Sirius. She told Lily to head out to breakfast before her and waited just outside the common room for Sirius to come out the portrait hole. She was only slightly surprised when he came down with Remus, Peter and James with an obviously growing friendship.

"Sirius, may I have a word?" Hermione asked with a tone that indicated no room for arguement. Sirius smiled brightly as he usually would as he bounded over to her with the snickering of his mates behind him. Hermione just merely glared over at the laughing face of James and Peter, not really Remus because he was too proper for that, and stomped over to an empty classroom nearby.

"Buttons!" Sirius cried happily when they were alone, stepping immediately into Hermione's personal space. Hermione merely stood there tight lipped for a second before she just sort of burst.

"Can you just _stand_ _back_!" she cried, pushing him slightly to get him away and taking a firm back, she was surprised by the disappointed look in Sirius's eyes despite his smile. "There is such a thing as personal space." She spoke in a slightly lesser harsh tone and Sirius smiled with ease that seemed forced.

"Personal space is only reserved for people who aren't friends." Sirius responded taking another step towards Hermione who felt a hiss of anger at his words.

"Well maybe I'm not a friend Sirius!" Hermione snapped as Sirius stopped and gazed at her for a moment, his grey eyes unreadable before he sighed.

"Can you just tell me why your angry already?" he asked with a tone of impatience Hermione never heard before. It stung a bit but she shoved that down.

"You kissed me." she answered as Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I did. I remember that vividly, thanks so why are you mad?" he asked as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Because you kissed me and then you just ignored me after that!" Hermione burst out as Sirius frowned and looked away sort of defensively.

"I didn't ignore you." he mumbled as Hermione literally stomped her foot.

"Yes you did! You never went back to the hillside or to Sir Williams Cabin or the park or the trail..." Hermione yelled as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Horrified, Hermione turned away and took a deep breath.

"Merlin Hermione, it's not that big of a deal is it? It was just a bloody kiss and I couldn't make it out after that..." Sirius responded with his eyes still averted, so he missed Hermione's expression. A wave of hurt and anger passed through Hermione as she snapped her head back to him.

"Fine! You couldn't make it out! That's just _fine_!" Hermione hollered as she stomped around a surprised Sirius and threw open the classroom door.

"Wait! Buttons! Are you still mad?" Sirius asked as Hermione just threw him a look like 'are you stupid?'

"What do you think?" Hermione asked rhetorically before she slammed the door with a satisfying slam right in his face.

Sirius stayed clear of Hermione for maybe three days before he came around again, smiling with that stupid grin on his face as if he had no care in the world. Hermione was infuriated with him and ignored him for about a week before he drove her mad with all his apologies and puppy dog eyes. She sternly told him that she forgave him but that really didn't change much between them. Hermione had bigger concerns trying to pour over any books mentioning Odette, who she was, what rumors went about through the villagers about her. She came up empty handed each time and it was killing Hermione who needed her raging questions answered. She had already questioned Lily and Severus incessantly and both of them were so fed up with her that they both threatened her bodily harm if she asked them again.

She had nothing to contend herself with, so she went to the library to at least feel like she was doing something. She felt as if she was going to go mad. Strangely enough, she wasn't the only one in the library during that time with some sort of waging inner battle. Often times she would see Remus in the library with his hands clenched in his light brown hair as he pretended to read a book.

For a while, Hermione struggled on whether to approach him or not but when she got close enough as saw the look in his eyes... a sort of desperate, almost on the brink of madness type of look, Hermione threw all caution to the wind and sat beside him one sunny afternoon.

"Remus." Hermione said gently, as to not startle the obviously disturbed boy. Remus jerked wildly in his seat and turned to Hermione with wide eyes the same light shade of his hair.

"H-Hermione!" Remus said breathlessly, obviously startled. Hermione waited with barely veiled shock at his reaction for Remus to get his bearings.

"Are you alright?" She asked after a pause as Remus gulped and averted his eyes, nodding. "Don't lie Remus."

"Er..." Remus remarked unsurely as he clasped his hands tightly together on the table and tensed every so slightly. Hermione cautiously reached out to place a hand on his arm.

"Remus, it's okay. You can tell me what's obviously gnawing at your insides." Hermione prodded as nicely as she could as Remus seemed to struggle with himself for a minute.

"Okay, but only if you share what's gnawing at you." he retorted with a strangely knowing look in his eyes. Hermione's heart speed up nervously for a second before she smiled nonchalantly.

"What makes you think there's something wrong with me?" Hermione asked with slight unease as Remus gazed away from her to the table.

"Well, your in here aren't you?" he responded with half hearted defensiveness.

"But I'm always in here..." Hermione retorted and Remus just gave her another 'yeah, but you know thats not what I mean' look. Hermione rolled her eyes but responded. "Okay, so maybe there is something but I can't say..."

"Well, then maybe there is something with me too, but I just can't say." Remus echoed. Hermione opened her mouth to retort but found that she really couldn't say anything to rebuke him so she let it go, contending herself with just sitting with him in silence.

"So, I see you've made new friends with Sirius and James." Hermione picked up after a while. Remus sighed heavily but nodded, not meeting her eyes. "I know I have no right really to say this but, I just don't see how _you_ could want to hang out with a bunch of rift-rafts. Your too good for that lot. All they ever do is annoy everyone." she said hotly as Remus just laughed awkwardly. "No, don't laugh, its true."

"Oh Hermione, they're really not _as_ bad as you make them..." Remus said amused as Hermione just shot him a look.

"Tell that to Severus, or anyone else they deemed unworthy of their respect." She retorted smartly.

"Yeah, that's true but nobodies perfect and I have the furthest right to judge anyone."

"Now, why would you say a thing like that? I mean I know its wrong to judge people but the way you made it sound-"

"I didn't make it sound like nothing. I just meant that I don't think I have any right to judge anyone..." Remus said sternly making Hermione frown.

"Okay, your right of course..." Hermione said, realizing she must have stepped on some land mine with Remus. A pause followed before Remus shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you." Remus said guiltily as Hermione just smiled.

"No, I shouldn't have pried."

"Just stressed is all." Remus muttered sorrily as Hermione nodded.

"Me too. And your right, James and Sirius are immature and childish but they've never really hurt anyone and Severus isn't completely innocent, I know" Hermione mused as Remus nodded.

"Not that it gives them a right..."

"No it doesn't."

"I kind of expected you to be friends with them, to be honest. I just had a feeling you would as soon as I heard that you shared a dorm together. I'm glad for you, when we talked on the train you were just like me, all nervous and dreading-"

"I wasn't dreading," Remus said immediately as Hermione gave a brief look of surprise. "I've always wanted to go to Hogwarts, always. I was just terrified that I'd mess it all up some how, or that it was some elaborate dream I would wake up from."

"But, your a wizard, why would it be a dream for you to go to Hogwarts if you knew about it?"

"Well...my parents almost sent me to a different wizarding school..." Remus excused after a while.

"Oh really? I didn't even know there were other wizarding schools." Hermione responded as Remus gave her an odd look.

"How is that possible? I thought you were a Black. As a member of a pureblood household you would have had an education on most of the other schools and even learned different languages in case you were to be sent there instead of here." Remus countered as Hermione frowned.

"Well, you already know I was adopted by a squib and Uncle Marius never really talked about any of that..." Hermione drawled as Remus pursed his lips.

"Can I ask you a question, you don't have to answer if your uncomfortable or anything but, why do you call him Uncle Marius instead of your father?" Remus asked curiously as Hermione pondered his question.

"I don't really know. It's just a habit I picked up, I suppose. I used to call him daddy, I think when I was really small but over the years after we were separated for a while and I got in the habit of calling him Uncle... I have no idea how I picked it up honestly." Hermione answered as she scratched her head and shrugged.

"Oh, where did you go when you were separated?" Remus asked, an interested look on his face to learn more about her.

"Er, well, Scotland actually, not too far from Hogwarts I suppose...But I can't really remember much about what I was doing. I think I stayed with a distant relative or something while Marius got adjusted to some work stuff."

"Oh, well do you miss it?"

"No! I have feelings that I remember mostly and I just get this terribly lonely feeling, like I was trapped looking out at the world instead of living in it..." Hermione responded, remembering the feeling.

"That sounds horrible..." Remus said, his eyes down casted to the floor.

"Yeah it was, but being inside the castle looking out is so much better than being outside looking in," Hermione responded with a far away look in her eyes before she blinked and frowned, thinking of what she just said. Remus gave her an assessing look as Hermione just brushed it off and smiled at Remus.

"What about you? Where did you live before Hogwarts?" Hermione asked, relieved when Remus let her comment go.

"In London, of course, right in the same neighborhood of Peter. It's a quiet sort of town, nothing every really happens there." Remus said with a forced grin that made Hermione curious, but she let it go since he let off her earlier comment.

"Oh, and are you and Peter close?" she asked.

"Well not until last year, we knew of each other but we didn't really hang out too much...I don't get the chance to go out and play a lot so..." Remus trailed off as Hermione nodded sympathetically.

"Uncle Marius is really strict like that too. He used to never let me go outside and play unless it was in our fenced up back yard...It wasn't until I followed Sirius..." Hermione trailed off, thinking about that day over two years ago when she saw Sirius soaring up and down fences and she just knew she had to follow that magical boy. It almost seemed to be the start of Hermione's life, really.

Remus noticed the expression on Hermione's face and smirked knowingly.

"So, you and Sirius have a _serious_ history..." Remus joked as Hermione rolled her eyes and groaned, lightly reaching out to push Remus.

"Please, I've heard enough _Sirius _jokes and puns to last a life time." Hermione responded as Remus laughed, Hermione thought it was a very rare and charming sight and felt a puff of pride at herself for getting him to open up.

"I can imagine...you should have heard him the other day say to a professor, a _professor_ Hermione who had made the mistake of telling saying that 'he was serious,' about giving James and Sirius detention when he caught them sneaking around after hours and Sirius actually had the gall to say 'no, professor, you can't be Sirius because I'm the only Sirius and it would be seriously weird if their were two Sirius's and that they both knew that only he could pull of being Sirius!' can you believe that? I couldn't help but laugh, of course, he got detention for it on top of getting detention for being out after hours like we all did, but Sirius didn't care," Remus said with mirth as Hermione couldn't help but laugh at the story. "He really is the only one who could pull off saying something so ridiculous like that."

And for the rest of the afternoon, Hermione stayed with Remus, almost getting kicked out by Madam Pince for being too rowdy. She found herself really enjoying Remus's company. The boy had really opened up to her, just like he had in the compartment more than a year before. They split up at lunch, and Hermione watched as Remus bounded over to Sirius and James and could see the strong ties of an unbreakable friendship in the making.

...-_-...

The months passed, Hermione's second year mostly a blur of library visits and endless sleepless nights envisioning Odette and her son with a matching mark of death on her back and Hermione's. She found herself pulling slightly away from the vivacious zesty Lily whose boundless energy and every piercing bright green eyes was just too much for the damned Hermione.

Lily, of course, eventually found a leadership role in a gangle of girls and really, Hermione thought that being the center of attention was Lily's rightful place, not beside too smart and slightly odd Hermione, and gloomy, sensitive Severus. It still slightly hurt, though, even if it was Hermione's own doing, but at the same time Hermione felt like things were finally going into its own natural order.

Christmas break was a welcome relief until Hermione found out that she had to go again to the Potter's house. It annoyed Hermione greatly that this seemed to be becoming a tradition despite having fun the last time. It was mostly seeing James that bothered her, the insufferable boy made Hermione think of Sirius who had in the last few weeks been acting stranger than Hermione had ever seen him.

Because he had been _ignoring_ her. Though Hermione knew that Sirius was bound to get frustrated with her aloofness, she had thought that he was irrational enough to confront her when he got really frustrated. She was disappointed by his blatant disregard of her, always keeping busy muttering around with James and Peter behind Remus's back and acting all preoccupied.

She was too stubborn to admit that she missed him, and too regretful to look at James as if she was perfectly fine. Going, however, was not up for discussion with dear Marius, so Hermione went, feeling at least a a little comfort that she knew what she was getting into this time. James acted like they were good old buddies when Hermione went to the ball in a slightly more tasteful, less frilly, dress. He had bragged about his grades and Hermione boasted about betting him last year to his parents. Then when they were in a more comfortable setting, James talked freely with Hermione as he usually did, dropping pretenses and some of his arrogance to just talk to her.

They had just finished talking about a lesson of Professor Flitwicks when James turned the conversation in a whole different direction.

"By the way Hermione, I've noticed that you haven't really been hanging out with Lily Evans lately." James said with a flippant casualness that made Hermione pause and evaluate the boy. She immediately took his slightly wide hazel eyes, forced relaxed position and reddening ears. Hermione smirked like the cat who caught the canary before she fixed her face into a dismissive expression.

"Oh. I suppose..." she responded, purposefully being short. A flicker of annoyance passed over James face before he schooled his expression back into casualness, inspecting his nails as he continued.

"You guys have a fall out or something?" James asked as Hermione inwardly smiled.

"Or something..." Hermione said taking a sip of her apple cider and looking away with a tiny smirk. She heard James huff of annoyance before she took pity on him.

"Well what happened?" James asked finely breaking his calm facade. Hermione smiled innocently.

"Why do you want to know?" Hermione asked coyly as he groaned.

"Just tell me," he demanded before quickly changing his tone at Hermione's face "please."

"Welll," Hermione drawled out cruelly before she stopped playing games, "She just found a different group of friends to hang out with and since I don't really like being part of a girly crowd I didn't follow her." Hermione answered honestly as James frowned and tilted his head in question.

"But why? You could hang out with the girly lot, you know, if you tame your hair a bit and made your skirt shorter or something..." James said, blushing as he realized he gave Hermione a compliment. Hermione laughed though not unkindly.

"Aw, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me James!" Hermione said, pretending to whip her eyes as he just rolled his own and shoved her slightly.

"Oh shut up! Don't act like you don't know! Sirius calls you Buttons for magic's sake!" James said as Hermione's smile froze on her face for a moment.

"How did you find out what Buttons meant?" Hermione questioned as her heart sped up a little. She didn't know how she should feel if Sirius had told James about their kiss even if she had told Lily.

"Come on! He told me the moment I asked him how he knew you our first day at Hogwarts! He said 'Oh me and Buttons have been friends since last year!' and then he asked how I knew you and told me if I wanted to be mates with him that I better leave his cute faced Buttons alone!" James said as a flutter stirred in Hermione's heart, she knew her cheeks were pink. "But that's besides the point! We're talking about you and Lily! If she's not friends with you anymore than does that mean that she's also not friends with Snivillus?" James asked as Hermione couldn't help but roll his eyes at his immature and stupid name for Severus.

"His name is not Snivillus, James and you better not call him that in front of me again or I'll march right over to her Mrs. Potter and tell her what a foul, bullying git you are and laugh in your face when she pulls your ears!" Hermione threatened as James reddened slightly.

"Fine! No more calling Snivillus, Snivillus!" He retorted as Hermione gritted her teeth and turned toward the last direction she saw James's mother go.

"Okay, okay! Severus! There! I called him Severus, now will you please stand still and tell me?!" James howled, reaching out desperately to hold Hermione back and turn her to him. She gave a reluctant sigh before nodding.

"Alright already! Yes, she's still _best_ _friends_ with Severus, but that's to be expected since they were friends way before I came into the picture. She just eats lunch with those girls mostly and hangs out in the common room with them but most of the time she's still with Severus and she always makes time for me and him throughout the day. She's too focused to have any romantic feelings right now so she has no crushes, well, besides that one popular singer wizard. What is his name... oh yeah! Justin Gillylake from that one band-"

"Magic Mics?" Jame said in a slightly resigned voice. Hermione clapped her hands and nodded.

"Yep! Thats the one!" Hermione said enthusiastically as James rolled his eyes.

"What is it with you females liking such girly guys-"

"Excuse me but Lily let me hear one of their songs and I just happen to think they sing beautifully, very in sync with each other!" She retorted as James threw up his hands and blurted out an exasperated 'woman! They're all mental!' when his mother just happened to be come over to them. He, naturally, received a hefty scolding from his mum.

Christmas was over in a blink of the eye with the months of Hermione's second year passing with equal quickness. She found that half the time, she had no idea what she had done to pass the days and the other half feeling like she was doing too much between school and her own personal research. Sometimes Hermione found herself feeling slightly lonely as she stared out through the window in the dusty old library, as if she could never escape such a fate... in those instances Hermione would find herself missing the playful and lively Sirius or the lovely and glittering Lily.

She felt embarrassed each time she caught herself following Sirius with her eyes. He was always too busy joining heads with James to notice her staring, however, and when he wasn't with James he was with Remus or Peter or a number of people who weren't _her_. It was frustrating and she just hoped that when summer time came she would have the satisfaction of making him stare after her with his eyes because she was too busy to deal with him.

On the train ride back home, Hermione made Lily and Severus promise to send her detailed letters of Odette and her fate because she wasn't sure how much longer she could take having nightmares of a faceless woman. In the meantime Hermione had left Hogwarts settled with the knowledge that she would pretty occupied over the summer. For she had acquired permission to access a time turner for her third year and she would most definitely need to read ahead during the summer to keep up with all the extra classes.

A/N: Okay guys! This chapter is mostly just a set up chapter! Third year should be far more interesting! And now I've add a time turner in the mix (wiggles eyebrows) hmm... wonder what's gonna happen :). I gave some (maybe accurate, maybe not) history about Hermione's "tattoo" along with the reason why Uncle Marius is called Uncle Marius and not 'dad' as he should be. I want to say thanks again for the reviews! Now I'm gonna post this up so I can work on giving you all another speedy update!


	8. Remembrance

...Day 1...

The line to the bathroom on the express train to Hogwarts was long and moving slow but Hermione found the waiting a welcome excuse to be away from her compartment. When the last toilet flushed giving her access to the safe haven, Hermione immediately went to the sink and splashed some water on her face. She sighed as she raised her head and stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she thought about the previous events that sent her running like a bat out of hell from her compartment.

_Severus shifted quite uncomfortably next to Hermione as they both watched their beautiful vivacious red-headed friend chatting incessantly with her crowd of girl friends. Hermione found it fascinating somewhere buried deep under her uncomfortable and awkward, slightly jealous disposition, that her friend could so easily command the attention and following of those around her like a moths to a flame. She had felt a little inclined to join in at the start of their journey but quickly found that her voice was drowned out, blatantly, each time she tried to say a word. It was obvious to Hermione that for some reason the girls surrounding Lily did not want Hermione, nor Severus, having any part in their leaders life or click, and so they were squashed in a far corner furthest from Lily and occasionally eyed like disgusting feces that stuck up the snob girls noses. _

_One girl did not really engage so much like the other one did and she was seated right next to Hermione. It almost seemed like the quiet girl was being bullied in a less than obvious way, for although she was at least allowed to travel around with the other girls, she was not really acknowledged and from what Hermione gathered, was more of a lap dog than a friend. It made Hermione mad that they would treat the poor girl that way for she had always thought Alice Wood was a kind, smart, and genuinely caring girl who deserved a far better friendship than that. _

_"Oh, by the way, Hermione, did you get that bottle of witches hair cream I sent you a couple of days ago? Pearls didn't have a response when you sent him back and I was worried she might of dropped it during her trip since it was such a heavy load." Lily asked innocently from the opposite side. The girls surrounding Lily, immediately shushed and turned to give Hermione critical unfriendly eyes that made Hermione blush._

_"Er, yes I got it." Hermione responded lamely as Lily smiled prettily and one girl gave a small scoff. _

_"Was it Mercy Roots Witches Hair Cream? That one is _normally_ the best one on the market but," the girl said with an obnoxious glance at Hermione's hair, "your hair looks awful! Er, I mean, not really awful just... no different than its normal bushiness I should say." the girl said with a teasing giggle that made the others except for Lily laugh rudely._

_"I haven't gotten a chance to try it out yet." Hermione responded as the pretty perfectly straight chin length blonde haired blue eyed girl named Mary gave her a knowing look._

_"I can see that." she responded just before another girl with light slightly reddish brown shoulder length hair piped a question._

_"It's really quite fascinating, I've always wanted to know...Do you just brush out your hair or does it naturally dry to such puffiness?" she asked, leaning forward with a serious face. Lily laughed uncomfortably as Hermione felt herself boil and melt at the same time with a rush of anger and sadness. _

_"Okay, that was mean, Marla. Hermione's hair isn't that puffy so don't exaggerate." Lily retorted as Mary and Marla, or M&M as they liked to refer to themselves just smiled fakely._

_"Thank you Lily." Hermione responded throwing a glare at the other two girls when her ire won out over her insecurities. Lily smiled at her as the other two just rolled their eyes. _

_"Fine... Oh, Marla did you get another letter from Sirius this week?" Mary asked her counterpart, once more going into their own little world and piquing Hermione's interest._

_"Of course! Did you?" _

_"Yes! So what did he say in your letter?" _

_"Oh, just how bored he was at his house. You know Siri, its always the same old stuff; nobody interesting to hang out with where he lives, going crazy because he had no company, wishing he had someone fun to hang out with to pass the time... Even invited me over so he could at least have one fun person to talk to."_

_"He invited me too but that was way earlier in the summer's start. I want on a trip though to Paris with my family so I couldn't go but he practically begged me to come over when I came back-"_

_"Excuse me, I've got to... er, go to the toilet." Hermione said before rushing out of the compartment, unable to hear anymore and missing the smirks on M&M's faces and Lily's concerned eyes._

Hermione gripped the sink as she remembered the girls words and tried to tell herself that she didn't care... that what those stupid girls said didn't matter, that Sirius didn't matter! She had much bigger things to worry about, like balancing taking all the offered courses Hogwarts could offer and dealing with her raging magic or her strange tattoo...it didn't matter to her that she had spent most of her time only _pretending_ to read her course books out by the hillside with Zero, risking getting bullied by those holligan boys he used to be friends with, almost everyday during the summer only for him to never show. So what if she had sat there wondering why he wasn't turning up when he was actually at home writing letters to mediocre, bratty girls and saying that he was bored because he had no fun friends to hang out with. No, it didn't matter to her...

The face in the mirror stared back at her with an unconvinced expression that made Hermione sigh and jerk away from the sink with frustration. Okay, so she it did matter to Hermione. It mattered that after Sirius _stole_ her first kiss- stolen because he had never asked to kiss her and because she couldn't bear thinking she freely gave it to such a a bestial boy- he had just up and ignored her ever since. It bothered Hermione that she couldn't get over a boy who merely kissed her an entire year ago and it bothered her that she had actually believed that he might have cared about her. But what bothered her the most was that she even liked such a boy... even though she was almost fourteen in a couple of months, she had thought that she was a headstrong independent girl who would like a guy maybe like Remus, who was smart, endearing and bound for future greatness.

Then again, Sirius was smart, and he most certainly could be endearing with his cocky but cute arrogance and that quirked up grin he would make sometimes.. and he was talented in many things, even if they were in pulling pranks but some of those pranks were very elaborate and required a lot of creative brain power...

But no! Sirius was obviously no good! She should have known that since the first time she laid eyes on him hoping fences all those years ago!

This inner war raged within Hermione all the rest of the train ride in the compartment from hell. She and Severus thankfully were able to go off into their own little world as the other lot gossiped, giggled and gasped loudly. She knew without words needing to be exchanged that Severus was very grateful that Hermione was there with him, she could see it in his black eyes sometimes in the pauses in between their conversations. By the time the train finally came to Hogwarts, Hermione and Severus had found themselves bonded after going through such an incredibly trying annoying experience that she was actually calling him Sev, and he, 'Mione.

They were walking comfortably together to the carriages when an unwelcome voice sounded up ahead.

"Severus!" Lucius Malfoy's swotty and impertinent voice called out. Hermione and Sev turned simultaneously towards the Head Boy and Hermione could see his sharp featured face turned up with a cold displeased expression. Hermione and Sev glanced at each other before Sev gave Hermione a minuscule smile and trudged toward the blond. Hermione watched him go all the way to the Slytherin and climb awkwardly into their carriage with a resigned feeling in her stomach.

She sighed a little downtrodded that she would have to endure the carriage ride with Lily's friends by herself and climbed up the steps before she noticed that their was already somehow six people sitting down.

"Oh, sorry Hermione we thought you had gone off..." Mary said with faux regret as Hermione just rolled her eyes and made to climb down.

"No, wait! I'm sure we can fit Hermione into the carriage if we just squeeze in!" Lily's voice chimed out as Hermione just gave her a half smile.

"No, It's okay Lily, I don't mind at all." Hermione said shooting a glare at the two smug faced girls beside Lily.

"Well then I'll come with you." Lily announced standing up. Hermione let M&M's face turn into panic before she just shook her head at Lily with a smile.

"Lily, its not a big deal. I'm a big girl, I can get my own carriage easily, I promise you. But thanks." Hermione responded before climbing down and missing Lily's pouting lips and conflicted eyes.

Hermione moved along, counting the number of heads in each compartment before she spotted only the back heads of two boys towards the back of the third year carriage line. Relieved, Hermione immediately climbed aboard but paused when she realized just who was occupying the carriage.

"Needing a place to sit Buttons? You can always plop down right here in my lap..." Sirius's smirking face said as he lounged back in his seat with James, Peter and a boy named Carson, snickering at his words. Hermoine grimaced and immediately turned around to get out and away from the carriage as quickly as she could but a hand snaked out and gripped her arm before she could take a step.

"Oh, come on Button's I was only joking. Sit, sit. Carson, can you move next to Remus-" Sirius instructed with his hand still on Hermione's arm. She eyed it with disgust for a second before she roughly jerked her arm out of his grip, much to his obvious surprise, before she plopped down next to Remus with her arms and legs crossed so tightly it was a wonder they didn't snap.

The boys stared at her awkwardly for a second before Sirius took his seat and the carriage started moving. She couldn't even look at Sirius for fear her anger would get the best of her and she would explode all her pent up feelings onto him.

"It's good to see you, Hermione." Remus said carefully next to her as conversation started to pick up. Hermione turned her eyes to him and smiled genuinely through her anger at him which he returned.

"It's good to see you too. How was your summer?" she asked politely still in her wound state.

"It was fine. How about yours?" he asked. Hermione tensed even further at the innocent questions and let her eyes stray for a heartbeat over at Sirius who was still pouting but conversing with the other boys in his same old lively fashion; it made her extremely angry.

"Oh, my summer was fantastic for once...well, except when I had to go with James to Diagon Alley, but other than that I had a lot of fun hanging out with my old muggle friends. It was _super_ fun, I wasn't bored even once this summer hanging out with them..." Hermione said happily with a giggle very much unlike her. Remus gave her a curious expression before he just shrugged.

"Well, that's good for you..." he answered just before James cut in.

"Hey! I resent that remark you said! There's no way that hanging out with the great James Charlus Potter is ever a bad or lame experience!" he cried with his nose in the air. A rush of ire ran through Hermione when Sirius laughed boisterously at his friends expression.

"Oh put a sock in it James." Hermione said rudely through their laughter as she gazed out into the night with a sour expression.

The rest of the night Hermione stayed hyper aware of Sirius nearly forgetting about her meeting with Dumbledore after the feast. She kicked herself in her head for letting herself get so distracted by the pompous little prick that she was going to be a whole three minutes late.

"Caramel Toffee." Hermione spoke to the golden griffin guarding Dumbledore's office. The impressive griffin gave her a sort of smirk before it moved and Hermione ascended the steps with dread and excitement.

"Please come in." Dumbledore called through the door before Hermione could even knock. Inside the room, Hermione eyed the trinkets and portraits with her usual fascination before she took her seat next to Professor McGonagall and Head of the Department of Ministries, Wilfred Timbler. Hermione smiled confidently at the occupants before she turned to Headmaster Dumbledore.

"So, do I need to sign something else before I get the time turner?" Hermione asked getting straight to business. Dumbledore smiled and pushed a bowl filled with candy in her direction.

"Would you care for a lemon drop Ms. Black?" he asked as Hermione suppressed her flash of annoyance and shook her head with a smile.

"No thank you sir..." Hermione said, deciding to sit back in her seat and just wait for Dumbledore to start the conversation. Dumbledore shrugged and popped one into his mouth. A pause followed in which everyone in their seats, but Dumbledore, shifted in annoyance.

"Headmaster," McGonagall said with a probing voice as she gestured her head to Hermione with wide eyes.

"I do apologize, I'm afraid I always lose myself a tad bit when I eat one of these joyous little yellow treats... Well, as you know Ms. Black we have decided to grant you permission to use a time turner for your classes to help stimulate your quench for knowledge and give you the fullest education possible. You have been tested by Mr. Timbler and Professor McGonagall on your skills and maturity to handle such a life altering device and we know that you will use it with care and professionalism. So without further ado, Mr. Timbler..." Dumbledore announced gesturing to Mr. Timbler who stood and walked over to Hermione.

"Now, a word of caution before I give to you the turner. You are aware that using the time turner for anything other than repeating your class times will be dangerous and futile. Time is a strange and indefinite variable and if you try to do something, change the past, it would all be for not since time will eventually right itself back. Also, running into yourself is absolutely detrimental to your health for two people cannot exist face to face with their own self. You must be on a constant aware for well, yourself. Should you cross paths by accident you will suffer enormous consequences... just don't meddle the time line at all and you will be fine." Timbler said as he withdrew from his coat pocket a long but narrow box, much like a wand box.

Thickly, Hermione gulped and forced down her nervousness as she reached out and grasped the box.

"I understand the risk Mr. Timbler. I will take precautions, I promise it." Hermione vowed as she laid the box down gingerly in her lap. Timbler smiled at her.

"I know you will Ms. Black or I would have never allowed such an occurrence."

"Thank you." Hermione responded with a gracious smile. Besides her, Professor McGongall stood up and clasped her hands in front of her.

"Well then, as your head of house, Ms. Black, you and that time turner or in my charge. You will be reporting to me regularly on your usages of the turner. If I feel you are misusing it in any way, or if the work seems too great of a burden, than I have the authority of taking it back. No if ands or buts!" she said staring down at Hermione with her wide and probing blue eyes. Hermione nodded her understanding and acceptance.

"Wonderful! Than I daresay that this meeting is over. You do not need to sign any more paper work, Ms. Black...Oh and Marius has owled in a signed permission slip for visiting Hogsmead with his final form we required so you are free to go. Just obviously you cannot bring with you the time turner..." Dumbledore said with a smile that Hermione returned whole-heartedly.

"Thank you Headmaster, that is great news to me." Hermione said, clutching the box a little tighter with her excitement. Uncle Marius hadn't given Hermione an answer if he would allow her to go to Hogsmead or not but she was relieved that he allowed her to in the end.

"You are most welcome, Ms. Black. Now off to bed with you, I'm sure you'll want to get as much sleep as possible while you still can." Dumbledore said teasingly as Hermione gave a slightly nervous little laugh as she nodded and walked to the door.

Later in her the comfort and privacy of her own room, Hermione sat on her bed staring at the long box on her comforter. She thought about all that she was piling on her plate in the name of knowledge and she was eager and excited about it, but at the same time, she was scared. What if she failed horribly, bit off more than she could chew...

She sighed out loud before she reached out and took off the cover of the box. The tiny golden hour glass sat on the padded surface with a dainty but long golden chain. Hermione stared at it fixedly with a strange sense of deja-vu that she had felt many times during her stay at Hogwarts, but this time there were feelings attached to it like excitement, sadness and fear.

She furrowed her brows at the device, reaching out to pick it up in her hand. And then it happened. The feelings magnified as she brought the time turner closer to her and for a moment a split moment she saw...

_She gazed down at the turner she wrenched out from her dirty pink jumper, as the door to the infirmary closed shut in the distance. She was thinking about the words Dumbledore said, three turns...but should she really do it? She had been so careful during the year but what if they messed up? What if they ran into their counterparts, then all of it would have been for naught._

_But no, Dumbledore believed in her...believed in Harry. He was telling her to do it, and she was wasting precious time doubting him. She knew the law, the risks at stake for meddling with time but... Two lives were on the line and they were the only ones who could save them! Determined, Hermione raised her and knew what she must do. _

_"Harry, come here," she said urgently. "Quick." _

_Harry with bewilderment green eyes fixed on the hourglass in her dirty fingers, moved over to her._

_"Here-" she said throwing the chain around his neck. A spike of adrenaline and fear made her breathless as she eyed the slightly taller dirt smudged boy. "Ready?" she asked more tell steel herself at all that she and Harry must do when they go back in time.  
_

_"What are we doing?" Harry asked, completely lost. But Hermione ignored him and turned the hourglass over three time._

Hermione gasped as her eyes refocused and she dropped the turner in her hand. She stared at the little seemingly innocent object trying to catch her breath and steady her pounding heart.

"What was that?" she asked to it, with a hint of fear and anger. What just happened? Was that her, did she just have a vision? How did that happen? What did it mean?

And then the pain hit her. It hit like white hot light in the back of her eyes. She clutched her head and bowled over in pain as the throbbing in her head rid her of anything other than excruciating pain. She moaned and rubbed her head on the comforter of her bed as the pain continued to hammer her until eventually she passed out...

...Day 17...

Hermione sighed tiredly as she spooned into her mouth some porridge from breakfast. She was so deep in her thoughts of school and all the homework and essays she would have to work on she didn't even notice the pretty red haired girl plopping herself down next to her.

"Er, Hermione...Hermione..._Hermione_!" Lily called next to her, shaking the girl back into reality. Hermione blinked rapidly before she smiled at Lily.

"Oh! Lily, good morning!" Hermione said as Lily smiled and pointed to her chin.

"You've got oatmeal on your chin, Hermione." Lily said giggling as, Hermione turned beet red and hastily snatched a napkin to wipe her face. Lily laughed a little bit before she gave Hermione a half amused, half worred glance.

"Okay Hermione, it's time for you to spill the beans." Lily demanded, facing Hermione full on. Hermione blinked and eyed her friend.

"Er, I don't know what you mean." Hermione said, not looking directly into Lily's eyes. Lily rolled her own green ones and gave Hermione a burning stare.

"It's insulting, you know. Do you honestly think I wouldn't be able to tell that something is going on with you Hermione? Your practically a zombie half the time and you haven't asked me a single thing about Odette or your tattoo or anything for that matter! You don't even do your homework with me and Severus anymore! Now tell me right now what in the world is going on with you Hermione. And I mean it!" Lily said sternly as Hermione shifted uncomfortably.

"Lily I-"

"_Hermione_!" Lily cried in a shrill no-nonsense voice that she usually used for James. Hermione sighed tiredly and decided that she would tell a half truth.

"I think I'm going a little mental." she whispered as Lily calmed down to listen to her.

"Mental how? Like old Bagshire mental or St. Mungos mental?" Lily whispered back, referring to their extremely eclectic defense against the dark arts professor, Florintine Bagshire, who liked randomly sparring with students in the hallways to 'keep their reflexes sharp!'

"Like, St. Mungos mental I guess... I just keep seeing things...things I don't understand..." Hermione said unsure of how to elaborate herself. Lily, sighed and leaned her pretty head on a fisted hand.

"A little less criptive Hermione..." Hermione shot her friend a glare before she sighed and scrubbed her own face in frustration.

"I don't know what to say! I don't even understand what I'm seeing...I can't find any explanation, any connection but I know, I just _know_ it has something to do with the tattoo on my back..."

"What are you seeing Hermione?!" Lily asked frustrated with her avoidance.

"I keep seeing _me_, Lily...or at least I think its me, everyone still calls me Hermione but I haven't seen what I look like since I'm not looking in the mirror-anyway, I'm sometimes at Hogwarts, sometimes I'm at some muggle house I think...at least everything looks muggle...and I'm always with these two boys, Harry and Ron, or rather, I'm always thinking of them and searching for them but I'm always fighting with them and I'm completely stressed out and worried and scared..." Hermione trailed off, her brown eyes desperately looking into Lily's green ones as if begging for an answer, for her sanity. "There's no logical explanation for what I'm seeing, Lily...I've searched high an low but I just can't find a thing..."

"...I don't know what to say Hermione. Have you-have you told any of the professors or Dumbledore?"

"Oh I can't tell them Lily! Don't be silly-they'll just think I'm stressing myself out because of the- because I've asked for more classes...Anyway, I don't need them thinking I'm crazy, I just need answers!" Hermione said frustrated as Lily bit her lip pensively.

"I know you think that the professors would automatically declare you mental or something but I honestly think telling them is your safest option..." Lily said as Hermione scoffed. "No, listen Hermione-"

"Lily!" the loud and obnoxious voice of Mary called out, Lily paused in her sentence and a flash of annoyance crossed her face before she turned and smiled at M&M.

"Morning!" she said before she turned back to Hermione who was frowning slightly. "-anyway Hermione, I still think you should tell-"

"Can we talk about this later Lily?" Hermione said flicking her brown eyes at the two ease dropping girls "I have to go to the library before class starts to double check something for my papers." She announced standing up but Lily reached out a hand to clasp onto her wrist.

"We will talk later, okay Hermione?" Lily pretty much demanded. Hermione plastered on a smile.

"We will." she reassured, though in the inside she knew she would be avoiding Lily.

Lily eyed her for a second before nodding and letting her go, M&M watching on like two nosy old ladies. Hermione made sure to give them a fake smile which they returned with snarky expressions before she shot out of the Great Hall. She did not go to the library as she had told Lily but instead went right through the entrance doors to the black lake outside. There were a few other students about, deciding to take their breakfast outside instead of indoors since it was a pretty day out.

Hermione did not share in her peers relaxed, easy-going mentality; she did not come outside to stare up at the pretty white clouds in the sky, or listen to the singing of the birds or to enjoy the weather...

She simply wanted to think... she wanted to ponder about her visions, about the strange feelings her visions invoked in her like familiarity, a sense of belonging, and a home, she wanted to know just why she was always envisioning herself with 'Harry and Ron' and just what it all meant. Who were they? Why was she constantly seeing herself in Hogwarts with them? Why did she always feel a tinge of sadness whenever the visions ended?

Hermione sighed as she came to the black lake and stared into its murky waters. She felt like the murkiness was a direct representation of her mind...her soul. Something just wasn't adding up...

She thought of all the mysteries she had so easily ignored in the past, like her adoption...just who were her parents? Why did they leave her on the doorstep of Marius Black? and why did Dumbledore always come to her house before she went to Hogwarts? What was he doing? Why did he place such an interest in her? And why had she been separated from Marius? Why couldn't she remember what she was doing in Scotland? And most importantly, why- no- _how_ did she just get a tattoo on her back?

All these questions and more had been plaguing Hermione incessantly that was why she was grateful for all her classes since they helped ease her whirling mind.

A barking laughter cut through Hermione's thoughts. She stopped her pacing around the lake and lifted her head up to find the owner of the laughter. Hermione found him lounging like a prince in the grass laughing without a care in the world, Sirius Black, the only thing that plagued Hermione's mind that wasn't about her past...

He was with James, Remus, and Peter, of course...the four boys seemed to rarely ever be separated from each other for longer than five minutes. It irked Hermione a little bit how much time they all spent together, how easily Sirius had forgotten her. Now that he had his best mates, he hadn't even bothered with her all summer long or with the new school year. Actually he was apparently getting friendly with a whole bunch of other girls; she had even seen him flirting with an older fourth year girl which made Hermione doubt herself on if the other rumors of him dating a sixth year girl was true...

Hermione sighed as she watched him leaning against a great pine tree with James on his left and Remus on his right, Peter laying down in the grass in front of them. He was grinning as he said something to his friends before he shoved a ton of grapes into his mouth like an animal making his companions laugh whole heartedly. Hermione rolled her eyes at his antics and pushed aside the thought of how cute he looked in his Hogwarts uniform and his shiny black hair styled casually over his eyes...

Abruptly, Remus's eyes locked directly onto her own and Hermione couldn't help but freeze. Remus watched her with his head still turned and smiling at Sirius, and Hermione couldn't help but feel as if Remus had somehow known she was standing there. But she had no idea how, she was partically hidden by a small cluster of trees by the lake and she wasn't exactly close but there Remus was, staring directly at her as if he could see every detail of her face. Hermione gulped slightly and Remus finally relinquished his gaze back to his group of friends.

Her heart pounding in her chest at being caught spying, Hermione spun herself around and made her way back into Hogwarts with one other new thought in her head...Remus Lupin.

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait! I had this done ages ago but I was just missing the last bit so I didn't post...I know this chapter was weird and not nearly as fun as it should of been but third year is proving to be trickier to write than I thought it would! Questions? Concerns? Spell check to report? Let me know!


	9. Marauders

...Day 42...

The occupant on the bed let out a low moan, face scrunched up even as she slept. Teeth clenched, skin cold yet sweating, night shirt pushed up to show the intricate linings of the girls tattooed back...

Hermione moaned again, shifting hazardously on her twin sized bed, her eyes moving frantically behind closed lids, her hands subconsciously gripping the sheets beneath.

Lily watched her friend with shock and horror that woke her completely from her mused state. Being a light sleeper, Lily had woken with Hermione's moaning and shifting throughout the night. Luckily for Hermione, Lily was the only light sleeper in the group. She, however, was at a complete loss as to what to do for her friend.

"Hermione, Hermione please wake up!" Lily whispered as she shook her friend, getting no response. Lily bit her lip and quickly shot a glance to their other roommates to see if they had stirred. When no signs showed of their awareness, Lily decided to use better means. Poising her hand above Hermione's mouth, Lily counted to three in her head before she clamed her hand down on Hermione's mouth and pinched her nose. Second's passed before Hermione's brown eyes snapped open in a panicked state and then turned onto Lily. Lily gulped nervously before letting go of Hermione who took a great gasping breath of air and snapped up in her bed, pressing her hand onto her racing heart. Lily let her recover for a moment before she decided to speak.

"You were moaning in your sleep, you looked like you were being silently tortured...what happened?" she asked, fixing her worried green eyes onto a still panicked Hermione.

"It was like death-they were just every where!" she practically shouted, her eyes still far away. Lily harshly hushed her, shooting a glance at their roommates who still slumbered on.

"Quiet Hermione, you don't want to wake them up!" Lily said as Hermione seemed to finally take in her surrounding. Tears started pouring down her face as she pressed a hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs. Lily stared at her in shock for a split second before she pulled Hermione into a hug, clutching the girl tight and rocking gently back and forth.

"Shhh, its okay Hermione! Your alright!" Lily whispered as comforting as she could as Hermione laid her head on the girls shoulder a took a shuddering breath before pulling away.

"I'm sorry Lily, it just was so awful!" Hermione whispered back, wiping her eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked with concern as Hermione sighed and looked away, her emotions and mind still whirling with the dream- no nightmare she had just woken from.

"It was like...like nothing I've ever experienced before," Hermione whispered as more tears pooled in her eyes.

"Was it another vision-like dream?" Lily asked cautiously. Hermione turned back her eyes to Lily, who felt a chill at the haunted glint she saw in them.

"Yes, I don't think this was a normal dream because everything felt so real Lily...!"

"Tell me what happened."

"We were in Hogwarts, me Harry and Ron, and we were in some awful looking place and there was this strange scuffle between a dog and a, a werewolf! It was so close to us Lily and then the dog and wolf disappeared and Harry, the _idiot_! he ran after them and so I followed him because I just couldn't let him go off on his own! And then they were there! Dementors! Lily it was so awful, it truly felt like I would never be happy again and there were so many of them, I couldn't even see two feet in front of me there were so many and Harry was screaming at me to help him and I just, I just couldn't!" Hermione said, clamping a hand again over her mouth as Lily hugged her once more.

"It's okay Hermoine, its okay..." Lily comforted as Hermione laid her head again on her shoulder. "You'll be alright." she promised, her blazing green eyes alight with a determined fire.

She was going to make sure of that.

... _ ...

Hermione felt like she was in some strange sobering mood as she moved through classes that day. Lily tried to stay with her at all times despite M&M, who were begrudgingly starting to realize that Lily would not stop talking to Hermione or Severus anytime soon, but it was a futile effort since Hermione had the time turner.

"Hermione, you go ahead and go eat lunch. I'll meet you later." Lily said with a smile as Hermione nodded.

"Where are you going?" she asked just as the girl stepped onto the staircase by the entrance hall.

"I have to ask McGonagall a question about the animagus essay we have due in a week. Gotta stay a step ahead if I want any hopes of beating you this year!" Lily said with a small laugh as Hermione smiled.

"Okay, see you later." she responded, turning back around to go into the great hall. A strange feeling made her pause when she gazed at the large oak doors, a feeling she couldn't quite place but felt often. She strode into the hall and took a seat at the Gryffindor table, her eyes briefly meeting Severus in a silent hello as she sat down. And then as she chewed on a broccoli she realized what the feeling was, she was waiting for _them_ to come and sit on either side of her...for Harry and Ron.

Tears prickled her eyes as she put a hand to her head; suddenly the hall felt too loud, or maybe it was her heart pounding in her chest, but she just needed to get out of there. She practically sprinted out of the great hall and outside as she tried not to think about what she was feeling, what was happening to her. She found herself sitting down on one of the pumpkins outside the games keeper, Hagrid, hut.

She didn't know how long she sat there staring down at the dirt with her head in her hands but eventually she was distracted by a noise coming from the forest. Glancing up, Hermione spotted the inseparable four, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, emerging from the woods with suspicious looks on their faces. Hermione frowned as she stared at them as they glanced around and then said some whispered words, nodding their heads vigorously before heading up to the castle; she couldn't believe they had just come out of the _forbidden_ forest! She wondered about their sanity for even stepping a toe in the ominous forest without adult supervision and made a decision as she saw their smiling faces that she would not put up with such careless behavior.

Without any hesitation Hermione marched right up to the four boys, hair bellowing behind her in an impressive wavy mass and eyes alight with disbelief and anger. She could see Remus stiffen as she approached before he turned around making all the others turn around as well with curious expressions, when they saw her it was comical what their expressions turned into...especially James. She couldn't help but revel in the power she felt with such expressions as she came upon them with her hands on her hips.

"Did I really just see you four coming out of the forbidden forest?" Hermione hissed as they took a step back. Sirius immediately shook his head and plastered on an easy going expression that made Hermione's blood boil.

"Of course you didn-" he started to say before Hermione cut him off with an angry glare.

"That was a rhetorical question you daft nimwit!" she bellowed as Sirius immediately shut his mouth and took a full step backwards "I _know_ I just saw you four come out of there! Now what I want to know is why you all would risk your lives going into such a dangerous place, that is forbidden for a very good reason mind you! or worse you could have gotten expelled! Are you all mad? Have you all deluded yourselves that much with your idiotic unfounded confidence that you actually think you can go gallivanting with dark lethal creatures? Did you guys even think? What if one of you had gotten hurt? Or what if Hagrid or a professor saw you guys coming out of there or-"

"Bloody hell woman! You need to calm down nothing happened!" James exploded. Hermione turned her brown eyes onto James incredulously, her already red face turning a little darker as the energy around her seemed to crackle and she clenched her fist in rage and took a single step towards him.

"I'll give you two seconds to take that back James Charlus Potter or you will be sorry!" Hermione said through clenched teeth as a flicker of uncertainty passed over his face before he crossed his arms and glared at her. He had just opened his mouth when it happened, a burst of anger fueled Hermione and she simply narrowed her eyes on him and a word popped into her head, and it was so simple she didn't even have to speak and James was suddenly in the air, dangling by his ankle and screaming like a little girl as the rest of the boys all jumped back in shock and disbelief.

Hermione smirked as James yelled and his face got incredibly red as he hollered to be let down but Hermione just crossed her arms with her eyes fixed on him.

"I'm sorry James but I don't think I heard an apology!" Hermione said above his yells, so fixated on him and her retribution she didn't even notice the others face staring at her with fear not until Sirius grabbed hold of her arm.

"Let him down Hermione!" He yelled and Hermione finally saw it in his grey eyes and a rush of shock, fear and confusion hit Hermione and broke the spell, sending James crashing back onto the ground harshly.

He was immediately on his feet and in her face and Hermione felt too shocked to even move as Sirius's hand immediately shot out to push James back as he glared into her eyes.

"What the hell was that!" he screamed and all Hermione could do was just flap her mouth open and shake her head.

"James, calm down!" Remus said from behind the two boys as James continued to glare at her.

"I don't know-" Hermione started as James roughly cut her off.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit-"

"James! She doesn't know!" Sirius said needlessly still holding James back.

"Oh come off it Sirius! That kind of magic isn't natural! She's not even a sixth year and she just did non-verbal, wandless magic! And something we haven't even seen before at that! She's done something to herself!" James bellowed as Hermione just listened numbly.

"Shut up James!" Sirius yelled as Peter watched her with wide, scared brown eyes and Remus gave her an blank look that Hermione couldn't place.

"What do you mean?" Hermione whispered, feeling like some monster as James narrowed his hazel eyes on her.

"You know exactly what I mean! Don't play dumb! I don't care how brilliant you are or that everyone calls you the brightest witch of the age, what you just did wasn't right! There is no thirteen year old who can do what you just did without the help of some dark magic! You probably did it with your little Slytherin friend Snivillus-"

"No I have never done any dark magic! And neither has Severus!" Hermione retorted hotly, her shock and fear fading with James implications.

"Don't lie!" James yelled making Hermione flinch as Sirius glared hotly at his friend.

"That's enough James! She hasn't done dark magic! I know, I've seen her do this before! Before second year even started!" Sirius yelled as Hermione froze and James turned his eyes onto Sirius, "There's no way that she could have done dark magic then and you know it! Now will you shut your bloody trap!"

"What do you mean before second year? How is that even possible? There's no way!" James yelled as Hermione felt a headache coming on.

"Yeah, I think you should explain Sirius because so far what James has said is right. There isn't a third year who can do what she just did without dark magic to increase magical power..." Remus said, in a sort of mature curious kind of way. Sirius sighed and turned his grey eyes on her.

"I was in a fight with a group of boys...you know which one because I told you all about it-"

"Yeah but you never mentioned anything about strange about Hermione-"

"And I never would have. She did non-verbal and wandless magic back then, strong stuff... It blasted everyone back at least five feet like some sort of shield and that's how we were able to escape, not because I punched everyone into unconsciousness like I said." Sirius explained as James eyes went wide and Remus frowned. "I chalked it up to accidental magic, though I knew even back then that that probably wasn't it since it was more like focused magic than accidental..." Sirius said with a shrug.

"I don't get it-" James persisted as Sirius just glared at him.

"Just drop it James! We both know Hermione wouldn't do dark magic! Besides, we owe her anyway since she caught us in the forbidden forest." Sirius said as James just stared at him in this searching kind of way and Remus stared at Hermione with the same look in his eyes.

"Fine!" James said after a few seconds, throwing up his hands before he turned his eyes back on hers. "but I've got questions and I'm going to get answers!" he said as Sirius rolled his eyes and Hermione shifted uncomfortably.

"No James! Your going to forget this ever even happened-" Sirius started to say but, surprising, Peter interrupted him.

"Can you do more? Like other spells and things?" he asked, his wide eyes staring fixedly at her. Hermione shifted again nervously as they all stared at her.

"I-I've never tried." Hermione replied honestly, "I didn't even know that what I was doing was so...abnormal. Everyone told me that accidental magic was only slightly uncommon." her gaze flickered over to James who stared back at her without remorse.

"Everyone? Whose everyone?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, I thought I was the only one who saw you that time..." Sirius said, his grey eyes fixed on her. She kept her eyes on him as she answered.

"My Uncle and...Dumbledore." Hermione answered as Sirius narrowed his eyes pensively.

"Okay, that's weird." James said as he turned to his mates, who all nodded in response.

"So Dumbledore knows that you can do magic like that?" Remus asked as if he was in a lesson.

"Well, I suppose...I don't know if Sirius ever told you but before I came to Hogwarts I didn't even know I was magical, I never did accidental magic since as far back as I could remember but then Dumbledore came to my house and told me I was magical but that I was 'a different sort'." Hermione confessed for the first time as everyone shared incredulous glances.

"What do you mean you never did accidental magic?" "Dumbledore told you you were a different sort?" "How could you never tell me that?" "What do you think he meant when he said that?" They all asked at once as Hermione bit her lip and looked away, regretting immensely ever coming after the four boys and even having this discussion.

"Stop, Stop!" Hermione said, putting up her hands in a restraining gesture. "Look, I don't know what any of it means and I'd rather not talk about all this out here where people can hear, alright?" Hermione said imploringly.

"Yeah, your right. Now's not the time but I really think you should talk to Dumbledore about this Hermione." Remus said as James frowned and Sirius ran a hand through his beautiful hair.

"I've been getting that a lot lately and I'm starting to think your all right..." Hermione responded, her eyes looking upwards in the direction of the window to the headmasters office.

Little did Hermione know that the man in question was staring down at her too, his blue eyes holding sorrow and apprehension for what was to come.

..._... Day 80

_Hermione moved without the pressures of gravity pulling her to the ground. She flouted effortlessly in a languid graceful way aware of every inch of her body and the love it contained. Her being was at complete peace so indescribable it made words seem useless. She rode with the waves of all her altruistic pure emotions and she knew exactly where she was headed for she had planned to end up in only one place. _

_For there was only one place she could go to make everything all better and only one thing could bring her there...behind the door of the love room in the Ministry of Magic. _

_As she neared it the words in her head, thoughts, all sounded damaged and useless... unnecessary. She did not need to have thoughts or what she was feeling put into words because there were no words. All she had to do was give all of her emotions, all her love and pure intentions. And with that she could see that there really wasn't a door to the room of love because the room was in fact, already open and pouring out its love not only for her but for all for love could not be contained or reserved for only one being... it was already open for all who wanted and accepted it. _

_She smiled when she saw him in the pure light of infinity. He was waiting there for her of course, his wise blue eyes holding her own with pride. _

_"Welcome Hermione." Dumbledore said without words. _

_"Hello Headmaster." she responded in kind. _

_"I am so glad to see you." _

_"Me too." _

_"You are making the right choice."_

_"I know." _

_"You will succeed."_

_..._

_"There really is nothing like this, is there Headmaster?"_

_"No, there isn't Hermione and we are so lucky to have it." _

_"Yes we are... yes we are..." _

_"You are so brave Hermione." _

_"Thank you headmaster." _

_"I am so sorry..." _

_"Don't be sorry sir. I'm not and I never will be." _

_"I know and that is why only you can do this..._

Hermione blinked sluggishly, her brown eyes sleepily meeting wood before shutting once more. But then her mind registered what she saw and her head jolted up from the table as she blinked more aware at her surroundings. She was in the Gryffindor common room completely alone with her school books surrounding her like a barricade. She had fallen asleep doing homework.

For a minute, she let her mind think back to her dream. It was one she kept having lately and though it was one of her more peaceful dreams it always left her with an empty feeling whenever she woke up from it... the feelings she felt, so accepting, so ready for...something, it left Hermione feeling strangely apprehensive as if she was forgetting something important...very very important.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the portrait door opened and in stepped four Gryffindor boys. Hermione welcomed the disapproval she felt at the sight of the boys none other than James, Sirius, Remus and Peter entering the common room with self satisfied looks. James was holding a bundled up blanket looking thing and was sharing smirks with Sirius as Remus smiled rather tiredly and Peter laughed.

"That was bloody brilliant!" Peter howled as James shushed him benevolently and the other two chuckled.

"Keep it down Peter...though it was brilliant, wasn't it?" he said as they made their way over to the boys dorms. Hermione decided that now was a good time to announce herself.

"What was so brilliant, James Potter?" Hermione asked in her best McGonagall imitation as she moved over to the fireplace with her hands on her hips. She was extremely satisfied when all the boys, including the normally unsurprised Remus, jumped about five feet in the air. Hermione couldn't help but laugh at them as they slowly turned around with wide, fearful expressions that turned into glares when they saw her.

"Bloody hell Buttons! You nearly made me shit in me breeches!" Sirius cried as James frowned.

"I think I did shit in me breeches!" he said as he crudely shoved a hand into his pants. "Wait, nope false alarm." he said withdrawing his hand as Hermione scrunched her face in disgust.

"Really, do you two always have to be so so..." Hermione trailed off as immediately the two other boys smiled, Sirius roguishly and James coyly.

"Handsome?" "Smooth?" "Sinfully enticing?" "brilliantly witty?"

"ANNOYING!" Hermione said above them as they each gave her matching winks.

"Oh you know you love us Buttons." Sirius said throwing an arm around her and stepping into her personal space.

"Yeah Buttons." James said, throwing his arm over her shoulders as Sirius frowned at him over her head.

"Hey, I never said you could call her buttons." Sirius said in a mock serious manner as James shrugged and then smiled.

"Why so serious, Sirius?" he responded as Hermione groaned and hit in forehead in exasperation. Sirius smirked.

"Because I'm always brilliantly Sirius."

"But I meant _serious_ not Sirius."

"So did I...Siriusly!"

"Oh honestly! You two are mad! Why you two carry on with the same Sirius jokes-"

"My dear Hermione-"

"You can never-"

"Ever, have too many-"

"Sirius jokes-"

"Seriously-"

"No, Siriusly, you dol-"

"Okay enough!" Hermione yelled over Peter's laughter and Remus's low chuckling as she finally wrenched herself from their grasps. "You two are not going to distract me-!"

"Drats!"

"Foiled again old pal!"

"Reckon we should try harder next time."

"But she's a hard one to crack she is, always so serious-"

"But I'm always Sirius-"

"Merlin's pants! Will you two ever grow up?!" Hermione cried dramatically as all four boys smirked. "Don't answer that. Now, tell me where you guys were or I'll _seriously_ hurt you." Sirius smirked.

"I'm afraid I'm the only one who can Siriusly hurt-" Whatever Sirius was going to say was abruptly cut off when Hermione focused her wand between his eyes. Immediately Sirius held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, shutting up now."

"Good, now surely at least one of you will tell me what you four were doing here because I would really hate to resort to violence." Hermione said, though the way she was smiling indicated otherwise. All four boys gulped visibly but James, of course, just had to test the waters.

"Well I think the better question here, Hermione, is what you are doing up and about?" he said bravely as Hermione rolled her eyes and just flicked her wand over at him. Immediately James tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth and he started making funny angry humming sounds as he failed about and tried to move his lips. Hermione twirled her wand in a bored fashion as the other three boys eyed her warily, no longer surprised by Hermione's magical ability.

Since that day a little over a month ago, when Peter asked her if she could do more non-verbal wandless magic Hermione had been persuaded by the four to see if she could do more. She was scared and unwilling at first, not wanting to add another mystery to her pile but she figured that it was better to at least try and maybe get control of the power. It had proved to be easier than she thought, and the four boys had been with her when she had tried since they had been pestering her endlessly about it.

It seemed that was all the four did really... pester her- that is whenever they weren't busy running off to do whatever secretive thing they were doing away from the public eye. She had been trying to weazle the truth out of them for a long time; she figured if they knew her deep dark secret (or at least most of them) that she had a right to know theirs...they did not feel the same way.

"Right, well this really isn't going too well now is it boys?" Sirius asked the other two as James still made noises, momentarily ignoring an impatient Hermione. The other two shook their head solemnly. "Guess we have no choice then, do we?" he continued with a dramatic sigh as Remus's and Peters face turned a little stricken.

"Wait, Sirius, I dont thin-" but it was too late. Sirius had already pulled out his wand and had it pointed at Hermione, strongly saying _Petrificus_ _Totalus_! and she had a split second to react with a non-verbal and advanced _Protego_! that managed to block her just in time with such strength it knocked all four boys onto their backs and momentarily dazed them.

Hermione smirked down at them as she flourished her wand and petrified all four of them on the ground, immediately making them all alert but frozen. Sirius looked positively horrified and she couldn't help but giggle at his face.

"Oh, don't worry Sirius, I wont do anything too evil." Hermione said and then she frowned at him. "even though you deserve it for actually trying to petrify me. And you two aren't off the hook either! You two didn't even brandish your wands to stop him and James you deserve it just because your you." Hermione said before she smiled and pointed her wand at James head, making his eyes go comically wide.

The next day Hermione enjoyed immensely the awed looks on her fellow peers faces when the four boys went to their classes and walked the halls. Most of them couldn't believe that someone had managed to prank the unbeatable pranksters in such a blatant way. Lily in particular just couldn't get enough of it and with her around Hermione was able to continuously bask in the joy of it all.

When the four boys cornered her before lunch Hermione took great joy in getting to see what each phrase on their foreheads read all at once.

"Please Hermione, you have to take off this spell!" James begged, his forehead blaring in bold black letters 'I'm scared of my mummy'

Hermione just smirked and crossed her arms over her chest.

"And why should I do that James?"

"Because this is completely ruining our reputations as the greatest pranksters Hogwarts had ever had!" Sirius cried, his forehead reading 'Spends an hour on my hair'

"I'm not taking them off until someone tells me what you guys are up too when you all run off like yesterday." she retorted stubbornly as Remus stepped up and gazed at her imploringly.

"Please Hermione!" he begged her, his forehead reading 'Pres. of Flower arrangement club'

"Oh Remus, yours isn't even that bad!" Hermione said with a wave of her hand as he gave her an incredulous look. "lots of girls thinks its charming!"

"But it's embarassing!" Peter squeaked, his forehead reading 'I scream like a girl'

"I already told you the options tell me what you all are up to or spend the rest of the day with your dirty little secrets on your foreheads!" she demanded staring back at them unflinchingly.

"Your evil you know that Buttons?" Sirius said though he seemed more impressed then mad. Hermione smirked at him a little.

"You shouldn't have tried to cross me." She responded.

"But it was only Sirius who did that, can't you just leave the spell on him and let the rest of us go? We didn't even do anything." James cried as Hermione glared at him and Sirius gave a betrayed 'hey!'.

"That's a laugh! You all are constantly pranking people and you've pranked me incessantly in the past two years! I mean really, what is your fascination with my hair James!" Hermione said angrily as James gave a laugh for a second in fond remembrance before Hermione's glare shut him up again. "And besides it's not about that! It's about you keeping secrets! I want to know what you guys have been doing!"

"But we can't tell you!" Sirius cried. Hermione gave them all a stern look for a second before she shrugged.

"Then fine, you guys can stay like that for the rest of the day." she said before walking off.

Angrily she stomped around a corner and collided harshly with something solid that knocked her backwards off her feet. Hermione groaned from the impact and felt the heat from her embarrassment spring up on her face.

"I'm sorry!" Hermione said as she strapped back on her book bag and glance up at the person. She froze when her eyes met cold light blue eyes that pierced her own with contempt.

"Well you should be, impostor, since if you had been looking like at where you were going like anyone with half a brain knows they have to do, then I wouldn't have the displeasure of you assaulting my person in the first place." Seventh year Lucius Malfoy said condescendingly as Hermione sprung up to her feet and simply rolled her eyes. The name 'impostor' had been made up by Bellatrix in Hermione's first year and all the Slytherins except for Severus had taken up calling her that ever since usually attached with some other colorful adjectives.

"Really Malfoy? Assaulting your person? It really should be embarrassing for you if someone way younger than you and a female no less can assault you so dis-pleasingly as you so put it." Hermione retorted dismissively as Lucius sneered down at her.

"The assault is in your questionable blood, impostor, and how it even got within two feet of my undeniable pure blood. If it happens again, I can not be held responsible for retaliating." he promised with a cold glint in his steely eyes.

"Then perhaps you should stay out of my way next time Malfoy." she said with false bravado as she tried to breeze past him in a confident matter though she was hyper aware of the danger Malfoy presented. That is why when his hand snaked out to grab hold of her, she just reacted instinctively as her eyes locked on his and the word appeared in her head.

A dazed look crossed Lucius's face as the Confundus charm took effect; Hermione watched with great satisfaction as he immediately stepped away from her and blinked profusely. She used the moments confusion to make a hasty retreat away from him, not wanting to be there when he snapped back. She knew the kind of guy Lucius was, where he was probably heading after Hogwarts and so she wanted to avoid him at all costs. It was hard to do that, though, because of Severus who Lucius Malfoy had taken a sort of interest in; she knew that being friends with Sev, on top of being an 'imposter' Black would make confrontations with the older Slytherin's like Lucius particularly unpleasant. But she had a new trick up her sleeve and if talking her way out of a confrontation did not work than she would use her strange magic.

Thinking about the Slytherins and Severus made Hermione realize that she hadn't really spoken with him in a while. She decided to try to find him and maybe get some homework done together or go find Lily and force her to leave her band of dimwits. She was just heading toward the Great Hall when a student, most likely a fifth year, walked right up to her.

"Your Hermione Black, right?" the girl asked, Hermione eyed her curiously.

"Er, yes..." she responded as the girl gave her a measuring look up and down that made Hermione feel really uncomfortable.

"I thought so! I wasn't posotive since of only heard about you through rumors..." she said as Hermione frowned.

"What do you mean throu-"

"This is from Dumbledore. Her take it, I can't tell you what it says since its got some sort of charm on it that wont let me read it." she interrupted, thrusting out the white square paper in her hand. Hermione took it and immediately the girl bounded off.

Hermione stared down at the letter in a mini panic. What did Dumbledore want to see her for? Was she finally caught about the boys faces? Or did he know about her confunding Lucius already? Or what if it's worse? What if it has something to do with the time turner? Did she perhaps unknowingly break a law?

Mind whirling, Hermione numbly opened the letter with fear churning her stomach.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Please join me at seven o' clock this evening. I feel we have much we need to discuss, perhaps over some Cockroach Pastries. _

_Yours Sincerly,_

_Headmaster Albus Dumbledore_

A/N: Thank you all so much! 84 reviews in less than a month! I feel so happy I could kiss a Basilisk! Again, if you have any questions or concerns let me know, Ill try to answer and fix them to the best of my ability! Since its been a while I would like to comment to some of your reveiws! I quickly thank NOHAPPYENDINGSEVE, KEZZ1, MYSTERERAVEN, BRIGHTESTWITCHOFHERAGE16, LADYFEATHERWEIGHT, JKL, LOLA, ARABELLAGRACE, LK-HOGWARTS-HEADGIRL, KIMMY and all of you adding my story to your favorites and such! Your continuous support truly is appreciated!

Zero 25- Thanks for your review! Dumbledore definitely did do something to her but at her insistence I assure you! Your learn more about it all later when she gets her memories back! ;)

Lady-Isowen- I'm glad your loving it. I'm really sorry that there is no summer part with her and Sirius before third year but there will be after third years done! I promise!

Dark m00n Angel- Thanks for your reviews! I hope I answered some of your questions from before about Uncle Marius and such...I'm afraid I can't give too much away until her memory is restored but if you have anymore please ask!

Katarin Kishika- Thanks for your reviews! I'm glad I'm not dragging it too much! I'm surprised that its going to take me three chapters to go through third year lol but on a spur of the moment decision I decided to write more about it and add some cool scenes!

Julia Lestrange-I am so flattered that I am one of your fav. stories! To be honest the Last Marauder is one of my fav too! lol I know I've made Lily's friends awful towards Hermione but I picture Lily being the head of a band of petty catty girls for some reason...probably because pretty people always seem to attract those kinds of people lol... Hermione most definitely will show off her power but more when her memories are restored which will be quite soon I think! Most definitely by forth year!

Tsukiyo Tenshi- Thanks so much for your support! Yes, she most certainly is starting to remember and soon everything will change ;) Muhahaha! The 'visions' are a lot of fun to write but Hermione is not stupid, soon everything will fall into place...

SingASongOrTwo- Thanks for your reviews! I'm glad you thought it was AMAZING lol! To answer your question about Lucius I read in the books that he was a prefect with Sev was sorted so that would make him a prefect in his fifth year so this is his last year...I kind of wish he wasn't older though so I could write a lot of fun scenes with him! He's just so perfectly evil! lol Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! :D

Humanized Serenity- Wow! Thanks so much for your reviews! I was so happy reading it lol I don't think its bad at all for you to want Remus or Sev to like her or for Sirius to get really jealous! I know I've written Sirius to be an asswhole but the distance is important during this time but trust me... its going to get crazzyyyy! when she gets all her memories back and he becomes an animagus (which is really the reason for his distance along with another dark secret ;) I know everyone excited for Hermione to get her memories back and I'm being evil for making you guys wait so long muhahaha! But you'll just have to wait! ;D

MrsRegulusArcturusBlack- I squealed like a little girl again when I read your review!lol Is it mean that I'm happy I was able to make you feel sad? ;) I want the readers to miss Harry and Ron because writing a past fan fic makes me miss those two too! lol and Dumbledore! he most definitely is an old coot spying with crystal balls! You'll find out next chapter what he has to say muhahaha! I have to admit I didn't really think about the fact that Harry looks like James and so because I didn't neither did Hermione lol! Or maybe she will with time... I cracked up when I read about all those strange coincidences with the timing of my update! I might have planned it like that...or it just might be magic does exist! lmfao!

Zelma Kallas- I am so honored that its my story your choosing! yay! Of course your reviews are very important to me so its a great pleasure that I get all of yours! I'm surprised myself at how much support this story is getting 0_o! lol I'm just glad everyone is still liking it! It makes me sad too when someone gets hurt from a love triangle since I've been in one and I know they suck!... but it will happen! It must because I'm sickly living through Hermione's character and therefore want Remus and Sirius to pine over me lol ;)

Asiantotheleft- Thanks thanks thanks thanks! You are always the first one to review this story and It makes me so happy that you do! :D Siriusly! I can't remember if I pm you but if you did your getting another message from me! lol There most definitely will be a love triangle between Sirius Hermione and Remus muhahaha! Imagine having a werewolf and a dog animagus pining after you...its bound to get crazy not to mention extremely hot! since both are rather possessive creatures!

Phew! I think I'm going to turn in now! If I missed your review than I apologize tremendously and you can write me a message and yell at me! I promise to respond! ;)


	10. The unbecoming

The feeling of being watched by a number of unblinking quiet portraits made Hermione shift uncomfortably in her chair across from the headmaster.

That and the fact that she had been siting in awkward silence since the moment she arrived five minutes ago...Dumbledore had offered her some pastries that she declined and was now sitting there chewing away at his treat merrily as she just sat there stewing in apprehension.

Was this perhaps some sort of punishment? To make her sit there and think about all the possible horrendous things she could have done to land herself a meeting with the headmaster... Was she going to be expelled for hexing James, Remus, Peter and Sirius? Because she felt that would be rather unfair after all they had done in the past years... or was it for confunding Lucius because she was pretty sure she didn't mean to really do that...or at least he definitely deserved it with his reputation. Or maybe it was worse... maybe it was to do with the time turner and her strange 'visions'... Was she perhaps unintentionally going back in time without her realizing, but not that couldn't be it either because she was always present when in she got them, Lily had to wake her from them all the time... But there was still those lingering doubts in her mind making her panic as all the while Dumbledore just chewed and chewed and chewed.

"Headmaster... er..." Hermione started before chickening out, not wanting to be rude. Dumbledore finally swallowed and smiled in that old cooty way of his.

"Yes, Ms. Black?" he asked pleasantly as Hermione shifted in her seat.

"I was wondering if you could tell me why you requested me, sir?" she continued un-surely as Dumbledore's blue eyes seemed to laugh at her with silent mirth.

"Well your here as a sort of progress report, of course!" he responded as Hermione froze in her seat for a second before her body seemed to deflate in relief.

"About classes with the time turner?" she clarified as he nodded.

"Why, yes Ms. Black...unless, that is, if you feel you have something to tell me?" he said, his penetrating blue eyes peering at her with a knowing look in his eyes that made Hermione gulp audibly.

"No sir! Nothing at all!" she responded quickly. Dumbledore's gaze lingered on her for a moment before he nodded more to himself than her.

"Alright, if your sure Ms. Black... then I suppose you should tell me about your experience with the turner so far." he said, sitting back in his seat as Hermione felt she could breath normally again.

"Well, everything is going as expected, sir. There hasn't been any spottings or speculations as of yet..."

"That's dandy Ms. Black just dandy." he said with a wily smile; a pause followed suit with Dumbledore sitting there and Hermione feeling awkward again. "and the work load...is it too much to handle?"

"It can be at times, sir but all in all not too bad. I definitely can handle it."

"Smashing! I would think nothing less of you Ms. Black." Dumbledore said and Hermione felt she believed him. "Are you sure you don't want a pastry? I can assure you they are delightful!" he asked making Hermione pause for a second at the abrupt turn of conversation.

"Er, well if you insist." Hermione finally conceded, reaching out to take a pastry. She was surprised when her hand bumped onto the tray and it all toppled down to the floor.

"Oh I'm so sorry Headmaster!" Hermione cried as she immediately went down to the floor and gathered up the pastries.

"Not to worry, not to worry! There's no harm done! I really should lay off the treats anyway." Dumbledore responded pleasantly as Hermione placed the fallen tray back onto Dumbledore's desk, her eyes catching glimpse of a strange basin lying in a conspicuous arch on the wall diagonal from where she stood.

She eyed it curiously for a moment, her mind prickling with a feeling of deja-vu.

"Headmaster, if you don't mind my asking, what is that strange basin over there?" Hermione asked as Dumbledore's gaze followed her pointed finger, an inperceivable smile gracing his face.

"Why, that would be a pensieve, Ms. Black. Have you heard of them?" he asked as he turned back to her. Hermione's eyes narrowed in thought for a moment before she answered as if in class.

"A pensieve is a sort of memory recording device, I believe... You can take whatever memory you wish to recall, place it in the basin and view it in great detail, as if you were right back in that memory. It is convenient to examine any details you might have missed or been forgotten with the passing of time or view an occurrence you might have missed when you were focused on something else during the actual time of the memory. Said memories, if you wish, may be bottled up in vial containers to help keep the memory on file without actually having to recall it in your mind." Hermione responded as Dumbledore beamed.

"All correct, as expected of the brightest witch of her age! Ten points to Gryffindor!" he said as Hermione blushed and smiled.

"Thank you Headmaster. I am curious, though. Penseives are so hard to come by..."

"Yes, they are rather rare but I happen to know the fellow who invented the theory of memory restoration and abstraction and helped him achieved the means to create the pensieves structure..." Dumbledore announced as Hermione's eyes bulged with impressed surprise.

"That is quite impressive, Headmaster." Hermione said as Dumbledore smiled kindly.

"I thank you for the compliment, Ms. Black! I assure you, it is a feat I am quite proud to be a part of! But enough about that, I'm sure you need some time to prepare for your lessons. I will not be insulted if you wish to go back to Gryffindor tower! I am only sorry that you did not get to eat the delicious cockroach pastry!" he said as Hermione shook her head.

"I have a firm belief that sweets before bed time will only lead to cavities, sir." Hermione responded as Dumbledore inclined his head.

"I commend your self control!" he said as Hermione smiled, showing off perfectly white even teeth. "I'm afraid I don't have the same restraint..."

Hermione's eyes drew to the penseive once more as she neared the exit. It stood impressively inside the arch and Hermione could see the little stoppers lining up the entire shelf of a rather large cabinet besides it, the murky whisps of memories flowing endlessly in its restraints. She wondered for a minute on the amount of vials she saw there before she gave a parting gesture to Dumbledore and slipped through the door. For some reason his comment on restraint followed her all the way back to the tower.

...+_+... Day 101

Brown eyes snapped opened with the fluttering of thick long eyelashes.

It took Hermione a full minute for the panic to settle down; time in which she had just stared up at the canopy above her, heart shaped lips parted with her pants, her heart hammering in her chest and body paralyzed with the usual fear at the same love room nightmare she's been having.

When she recovered, she sat up tiredly from her bed and threw her skinny bare legs over the side. She sat there bracing herself for few minutes, her eyes staring over at the outline of Lily sleeping in the darkness. She felt envious of the girls undisturbed slumber...she couldn't remember the last time she had gotten a descent nights rest. Not since she started attending Hogwarts, anyway.

At least it was a beautiful night with the moon shining through their bedroom windows in a gentle majestic manner, the only fault was that it was slightly chilly but Hermione welcomed it against her hot, disturbed skin. She knew sleep would not befall her anytime soon, so she grabbed her wand from the bedside table and decided to do some reading in the common room where she would not disturb her fellow roommates.

Hermione crept out of the room and into the common room in stealthy silence and plopped down onto the couch in front of the empty fireplace. She sat there for a long time reading from her transfiguration text book and thats when she heard it, the sound of footsteps approaching. She stiffened as the sound of the feet on stairs got closer and closer and she turned slightly where she lay on the couch to watch the boys staircase.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all came down the stairs as quietly as possible. It was almost comical to see their faces exerting such control to not speak and remain quiet.

For a moment she contemplated speaking up, asking them what the bloody hell they were all doing up at such a time but decided against it. She knew that if she announced her presence and questioned them that they would abort their mission and try to dismiss her and she would not stand for it this time. No, she was going to get answers, so instead of speaking she just remained as still as she possibly could and disillusioned herself with an advanced spell non-verbally. She did it just in time too since Remus had just looked at the spot she no longer appeared to be in and froze for a moment. She watched with a baited breath as he stared at the spot she stayed frozen in and paused in his steps towards the portrait whole where everyone else was heading.

James noticed his friends pause and glanced around the room conspicuously as he moved closer to Remus.

"What is Moony?" James asked making Sirius and Peter pause and look back at the two from the portrait hole. Remus inhaled deeply, his eyes an almost glowing swirl of gold as he stayed staring in the exact spot of Hermione's head.

"I think I smell...no, never mind." Remus said, finally dragging his shockingly animalistic eyes away from where Hermione was laying. James eyed his friend curiously for a moment.

"You don't seem sure that its nothing..." James responded as Sirius shifted impatiently by the portrait hole. Remus glanced back to the spot Hermione was with unsure- and Hermione was certain now- _glowing _golden eyes.

"No, I'm sure its nothing." Remus replied as Sirius huffed annoyed.

"Then come on already, we don't got all night!" he whispered harshly from the portrait as James just shrugged and walked off.

"If you say so Moony." he said as Sirius quickly scrambled through the hole with Peter following after then James. Remus paused for a moment, his eyes going back to the place and squinting slightly before he shook his head and followed suit.

When he was gone, Hermione felt she could breath again, her body tensed so painfully her joints ached when she released them. Her heart was hammering uncontrollably in her chest as she couldn't stop seeing the burning gaze of Remus's glowing eyes in her mind...She mentally smacked herself, knowing that she couldn't let the boys get too far ahead of her.

She quickly crossed the common room floor before she froze as a thought hit her. Remus almost said he could smell her, for she was sure that was what had made the boy pause in their trek; she tried hard not to think too much on what him being able to smell her meant and decided to brandish her wand over herself before she exited to mask any of her scent.

She stopped once she stepped outside the portrait hole and gazed all around her in confusion of the empty corridor. She had no idea where the four boys might have gone from here and she cursed herself for letting them out of her sight. She scrambled for a spell to locate them in her mind and the solution popped into her head it was so simple, she just needed to do a locator spell.

She knew however, that she should not be able to do the spell since it was an advanced sixth year level spell but she had already done a non-verbal disillusionment charm so she figured doing a locator spell might be plausible. When it worked, Hermione was still surprised at the extent of her abilities but again, she did not have time to contemplate as she scrambled to follow her wands incessant urging.

Within a minute Hermione could hear the sound of the boys footsteps down the hidden passage way but she could not see them. She wondered for a minute if perhaps they had too learned of the advanced disillusion charm for the sake of sneaking around. It seemed like pretty advanced magic for the boys to do but then again they weren't stupid, even Peter was rather smart.

"Shh, do you guys hear that?" Remus voice asked making Hermione freeze once again as the sound of the boys footsteps stopped immediately. Hermione didn't even breath in fear that Remus would somehow hear that as well. Almost a full moment went by in complete and utter tense silence.

"Dammit Remus! Are you getting bloody paranoid on us or something?" Sirius's voice bit out from somewhere in front of Hermione as she could hear the shifting material of someone's clothes as one of the boys moved.

"I thought I heard another pair of footsteps..." Remus's voice trailed off defensively as it sounded like someone took a step back from maybe a slight push.

"I think your losing your touch moony old pal..." James quipped up as a tussle seemed to insue.

"Oh, I'll show you 'losing your touch'..." Remus's voice playfully growled followed soon after with a funny squeaking noise. She could hear Sirius sigh impatiently above the scuffling noise.

"If you two are quite done feeling each other up I'd rather like to get a move on before we get caught in this rather embarrassing position!" Sirius cried as the other boys seemed to laugh.

"Look, whose talking! Your the one who gives other boys a wake up call by jumping on them while their sleeping peacefully on their beds-"

"And stealing other boys boxers-" Remus said indignantly

"That was an accident! How many ti-"

"Merlin Sirius! Do you want to wake the whole bloody castle up with your yelling? It will be your fault if we get caught..._again_. And how long do you plan to hold us up for tonight? McGonagalls lacy knickers you just keep messing around-" James's voice was abruptly cut of as Sirius growled and more scuffling sounds ensued as Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes at the boys. They really seemed to have focusing problems.

"Er, would you rather Peter and I leave you two alone?" Remus's voice said with a hint of playful disgust.

"Oh shut up!" Sirius yelled as Remus and Peter laughed and finally the sound of footsteps came again.

Hermione listened to the sound of them as she quickly tried to think up of a solution to masking her own footsteps and again the answer came simply, and she was able to do the silencing spell on her first try non-verbally. Again she had to force herself not to think too hardly about the ease of which all these advanced spells came to her mind as she was able to move silently down the halls after the ridiculously immature boys.

It was quite pathetic actually...the amount of times the boys seemed to have to compulsively wrestle with each other because someone had purposefully elbowed the other one, or tried to trip the other, or stepped on the others toes. It really brought to attention to Hermione the restlessness of boys, how stupid they were and so incredibly childish; she sent a silent thank you to the ceiling that she was born a girl, way smarter and mature than any of the other species could ever hope to be.

However, even Hermione was getting restless at their long trek, dodging Filtch and Mrs. Norris, prefects and patrolling Professors. She wondered if the boys had to go through this each time they went out on their little rendezvous since by the way they were prepared for them it seemed that they did. She was relieved but apprehensive when the boys snuck outside since it meant no longer having to avoid prefect and Professors. She was fearful of being outside the castle at such a late hour especially when the boys headed straight down a path towards the forbidden forest.

An inner battle waged within Hermione when they moved steadily closer to the forest edge, past Hagrid's hut, alight like a beacon in the night. She wanted to turn around and run straight back to Gryffindor's tower and simply interrogate the boys on why they had gone to the forbidden forest when they came back but at the same time she was too curious to leave and worried about their safety. She was surprised slightly when the footsteps stopped just outside the forest trees and the boys appeared in front of her with a swift pull of invisibility cloak that James bundled up in his arms and shrunk with an impressive display of transfiguration.

"Right, lets keep going then." James said as they moved without hesitation back into the trees. Hermione teetered with indecision for a second more, recovering from her shock at seeing an actual invisibility cloak before she too scrambled inside the forest after them. The boys all sort of fell into step behind Remus, who maneuvered a path for everyone with precision and expertise that was beginning to make sense to Hermione.

They moved silently in the night, encountering nothing but reaching twigs and blasted mosquitos with only an occasional alarming noise sounding in the far distance. They didn't stay moving long however as the finally came upon a slight dip in the ground where only large roots were in a sort of clearing. The boys moved more freely as they came upon it and settled themselves onto the ground in a sort of strange circle in the center.

Hermione eyed the boys with fascination as Peter set out at James order to get some kindle and Sirius collected a bunch of sticks. Remus let his glowing eyes skitter about for a minute before he sniffed the air and nodded to himself.

"Where completely alone and safe." he said surely as he took out a magically shrunken textbook and engorged it back to its natural size, placing the book on the ground in front of him as Sirius and Peter came back with the tools to light the fire.

"_Incendio_!" James exclaimed with a flourish of his wand, immediately conjuring up flames in a makeshift bonfire. The boys paused for a moment all looking at expectantly at James who took the textbook from Remus and flipped through the pages till he found the one he needed.

"Okay, so we all remember the last time, _Peter_..." James said with a pointed look at the boy who shrunk a little and gazed away in a guilty fashion. "We need to obviously practice way more in that aspect since its the basic necessity in transforming. Then when we're done we can move onto the mind which is the hardest part-"

"But I thought you said that gathering was the hardest part!" Peter cried a little desperately as James shrugged.

"Then I lied, trying to retain your mind is the hardest part since it requires you to get in touch and control every single part of the id, ego and superego...its 'a long and arduous' process, yippy! but we've got a while for that...Right now we need to concentrate on the sense of self-"

"I don't know why that should be so hard since I have no problem with my sense of self!" Sirius interrupted with an arrogant air as James smirked at the raven haired boy.

"I'm pretty sure it was you who had the most trouble with it the last time pal." James said as Sirius threw a sodding rock at the other boys head, who laughed and dodged it.

"Oh shut up James!" Sirius said pouting as Peter laughed at him and Remus just shook his head.

Hermione watched as, for at least an hour, the boys went back and forth from meditating to occasionally saying things out loud to each other and professing things in random spurts, with Remus monitoring to make sure no one fell asleep. Then finally they all packed up and gathered a few random things that they felt a 'pull' towards and writing things on parchment they burned in the fire just before they extinguished it.

The boys were strangely tired and mellow as they walked back to Hogwarts and Hermione's mind was reeling at all she had learned. The boys were trying to become animagus's, except for Remus because he already turned into an animal, every month at a full moon because Remus was...Remus was a werewolf.

When Hermione was alone again in the safety of her dorm room, she let her mind think of something else she learned on this night...a connection that could have only been made with the realization of what Sirius was to become and what Remus already was...

That her nightmares were somehow a premonition for the future, that the man turning into a wolf before her eyes in her visions was actually Remus, that the dog fighting to protect them was Sirius...and that nothing...not a damn thing made sense to her anymore.

...+_+... Christmas Break (Day approx. 120)

The snow fluttered down around Hermione in a beautiful fluttering whirl of white so striking against the dark gray sky and her black woolen coat. Hermione lay in the six inches of snow with her hands spread wide on either side of her, frozen during the making of a snow angel as she watched the snow dance. Zero was bounding about trying to eat the snow as if fell to the ground. It was quite a comical sight but Hermione was not looking, in fact, her brown eyes, fanned by dark thick long lashes were completely out of focus as they gazed fixedly above.

And she looked absolutely beautiful to Sirius as he came upon the sight of her. Her hair had seemed to change over the years into an inviting looking chocolate brown color that feel in long waves a little below her shoulders, and her face seemed to always have a natural coloring to it but with the snow, her cheeks were cutely pink and her mouth was a red. Sirius let his grey eyes gaze at her in her distracted state, something he avoided doing at all costs since that time they kissed so long ago.

He would not lie and say that he did not liked Hermione, of course he did! How could he not when she was his first friend, when she was pretty and smart and exciting to be around but he also crushed on a lot of other girls. There were so many pretty little things in Hogwarts that he also liked snogging and touching because he was a boy and that's what boys in puberty liked to do and Hermione was not the kind of girl who did the things he wanted to do without it being something huge. He liked the girls like Mary and Marla who giggled and batted their eyes when he passed, who liked snogging too and used him to up their cool status as much as he used them to up his.

But he still liked Hermione, he liked her a lot.

He really liked her face. He really liked being able to be near her even when they were away from Hogwarts. He really liked the way she smiled and the way she smelled.

His heart pounded a little bit faster as he neared closer to where she laid spread out in the snow. He felt like a pervert for wanting so badly to climb on top of the length of her body and hug her close to him...he could actually see himself doing it in his minds eye and played around with the idea of actually doing it. He restrained himself, thinking instead of the embarrassment he would feel when she would inevitably throw him off of her and fix him with a disgusted enraged gaze.

He chose to plop himself down opposite of her head and laid back so that only their heads were side by side, his feet pointing north and hers point south. He was surprised that she was so far into pensive mode that she still had not noticed him. He studied her elegant profile and thought about what she might be thinking about. He watched her slow blinks, the puff of air escaping her slightly parted lips. He found himself scooting closer and closer and then he took in a sniff of her hair. He blushed to the tips of his ears at his own strange actions but couldn't help but take pleasure in how good she smelled, a simple flowery scent that made him think of the color pink.

He thought for a minute about the other girls, and why he didn't notice as strongly with them the things he noticed about Hermione. Sure, he thought that they smelt nice too, and that they had pretty hair and soft skin but he wondered about Hermione's smooth skin more...about her lips. Maybe its because she was his first kiss... maybe because the idea of her not caring about her looks but about books made it all the more interesting to look at her...it didn't change the fact that he still liked finding out about those things with different girls.

But still, in this moment... alone laying in the snow with Hermione in all her simple prettiness, he wanted to reach out and hold her hand and sniff her chocolate colored hair and kiss her pretty heart shaped mouth. It made his heart beat just envisioning it.

Zero barked loudly as she chased the wind and this finally snapped Hermione out of her own head and her eyes went comically wide when she spotted Sirius's face so close next to hers.

"Sirius!" she whispered in surprise as he slowly grinned.

"My dear Buttons, fancy seeing you here." he responded cheekily as she gaped at him.

"When did you get here? How long have you been lying there for? Why didn't you call my name or something?" Hermione asked as Sirius chuckled.

"Relax, I only just plopped down, besides I didn't want to interrupted your train of thought when I could just watch you and enjoy thinking my own dirty little thoughts completely unrestrained." he responded, cheekily grinning at her as she blanched at him.

"You can't be serious! Don't say things like that!" she responded as he smirked and she realized too late her mistake. "Oh no, Sir-"

"Nope, there's no stopping it Buttons so just let it happen... I am always Sirius my dear. Always." he said at first his tone playful but then at the end he gazed into her eyes deeply and left her with a strange awkward feeling that might have made her heart beat a little faster at the strange turn of his tone.

"Right, well...what are you doing out here?" she asked, scrambling to change the subject as Sirius gave her a lingering look before he gazed away, his face breaking at into a grin as a snowflake clung to his dark lashes.

"I think I'm entitled to come outside during Christmas break, Buttons." Sirius responded as Hermione gave him a dumb look.

"Of course you are, but I've never caught you out here, not since before first year..." Hermione said as Sirius just shrugged as he turned his beautiful eyes onto her so striking in the snow, like the eyes of a Siberian husky.

"I suppose I thought I might get to see you." he responded making Hermione blush and glance away shyly.

"Your teasing me again Sirius. I don't know why your doing that." she said as he smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Always so doubtful Buttons. You know I never stopped your rank as my best friend..." he said as Hermione laughed genuinely, recalling that time so long ago that they had that conversation about his strange antics towards other human beings.

"I really don't understand you at all Sirius, you are so particular." she said giggling as Sirius fought a smile, trying to seem mockingly insulted.

"Did Buttons just call me particular? Why I feel quite insulted. Serious, that okay... Barbaric, thats ruddy well correct, but particular...I think that is just going too far." he said frowning as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Your crazy!" she said as he gasped.

"Well that was just uncalled for!"

"Oh stop exaggerating!" she said as she smiled and he smiled and they smiled at each other. A flutter passed through both of them, awareness at the distance of their lips to one anothers before Hermione blushed heavily and turned her head away. "So how has your Christmas been so far?" Hermione said awkwardly as Sirius felt a wave of disappointment flood through him that he had to push away.

"I'm out here with you aren't I?" he said sarcastically immediately making Hermione freeze, the heat in her heart cooling quickly with his words. Sirius watched this reaction curiously before he realized what he said was slightly insulting. "Oh, no Hermione! I didn't mean that in any insulting way!" he tried to reassure rather pathetically as Hermione turned her brown eyes on him.

"Sure." she responded shortly as Sirius's eyes begged her to believe him.

"Oh don't be like that Buttons, I promise! I only meant that-"

"Your out here because it sucks in there. You don't have to explain." she said in a blase fashion with her own little shrug.

"But I'm glad I'm out here with you. In fact its the best! Better than if even James was out here!" Sirius promised as a little smile curled Hermione's lips.

"Oh really? But I thought you loved James! You little cheater!" she said jokingly as Sirius smirked, relief shining in his eyes.

"Well, what James doesn't know wont kill him." he said as Hermione laughed. "Why are you out here, then?"

A sad expression flashed on Hermione's face before she shrugged and played with a thread from her coat.

"I wanted to take Zero for a walk." she lied as Sirius nodded his head in belief.

"She's gotten so big, now. She definitely doesn't recognize me anymore." Sirius said as he watched the midnight black dog sniff the ground and get snow on her muzzle.

"Yeah, she probably doesn't. Sorry." Hermione said lamely as Sirius just shook his head and sat up. Hermione eyed his snow covered back curiously as he turned around and faced her.

"Nah, its my fault... I should of come over here more to play with her, and play with you..." he said as his face flushed a little and he glanced away from her. Hermione felt her own heart sped up a bit as she too sat up and faced him on stiff freezing cold limps.

"What do you mean?" she pressed, hoping he was saying what she thought he was saying. Sirius bit his lip, an action that surprised Hermione, and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I just mean that I should have-I wanted to..." Sirius sighed, "Last summer...I haven't been a good best friend."

"Why?" she asked as Sirius gave her a pointed look.

"You already know Hermione! I ignored you all summer, I've avoided you at school-"

"I know why you have been, I know your secret Sirius." Hermione cut off. Sirius froze completely, even his breath stopped for a full second.

"What do you mean?" he asked after a minute.

"I know that you and James and Peter are trying to be animagus's for Remus." she said simply as Sirius gawked at her, launching himself onto his feet as Hermione eyed him warily. "and don't try to deny it..."

"Wha-How? How did you find out." Sirius asked as Hermione smiled to herself a little smugly.

"I have to admit I'm slightly embarrassed about how long it took me to even start speculating about Remus, but I have been a bit busy in my defense...it's so obvious that he's a werewolf when you think about it...but I never could have imagined you three dolts would actually try to become animagi! Honestly! I'm floored by your audacity! To try to become animagus at such a young age when people way older and smarter than-"

"But how did you find out?" Sirius cried as Hermione sighed and stood up as well.

"I followed you four one night..." she said, raising her eyes to meet his without shame or remorse. He blanched at her words and eyed her as if seeing her for the first time. "I couldn't sleep and was in the common room when you four came down and I knew that I wasn't going to get any answers so I followed to see what you were up to!" she explained defensively as Sirius whistled. "I was behind you all the whole way down to the forbidden forest, I saw the invisibility cloak and the session and I heard everything you guys said..."

"But...but how did manage for us-for Remus- not to see, hear or smell you? How did we not detect you at all?" Sirius asked after a long pause. At this Hermione shifted a little uncomfortably on her feet and peered at Sirius searchingly.

"With magic, Sirius..." Hermione said simply as Sirius gaped at her.

"But-but...Merlin Hermione that's highly advanced magic..." he said as he paced in front of her.

"I know."

"Have you talked to Dumbledore about this yet? Does he know what you can do?" he asked as Hermione shook her head. Sirius sighed and then walked up to her and gripped her upper arms, gazing down at her with troubled, serious eyes.

"Hermione, you've got to tell Dumbledore about this...its all too strange that your able to do that kind of magic without extensive research and practice!" Sirius exclaimed as Hermione peered away reluctantly.

"But- what if he tells me there's something wrong with me? What if, what if he tells me that I can't go to Hogwarts anymore?" Hermione asked as Sirius gazed down at her confused.

"Why would Dumbledore tell you that?" he asked curiously as Hermione ran a frustrated hand through her wild hair.

"Because obviously doing this sort of magic isn't right to you all! It disturbed James so badly and even your not comfortable about it!" Hermione said angrily as Sirius let go of her. For a minute he just stayed staring down at the ground before he gazed back at her.

"Listen Hermione, your wrong if you think your magic makes me uncomfortable around you... in fact, I think its actually pretty wicked! But... in the wizarding world most purebloods are raised by their parents to believe certain things that are unquestionable and anything that doesn't fit that bill is obviously...faulty somehow... wrong. James...or any pureblood for that matter, we are raised to believe that magic is our natural right but something that is cultivated with schooling and practice... but there are people who dabble in the dark arts to make themselves more powerful...unnaturally powerful at terrible costs. Most pureblood families do dark magic, like my family, to gain power, money and status...but a family like the Potters, they turn their noses away from those things with extreme distaste so that's why James reacted like that. He thought you did some sort of Black family evil magic to do what you did...but I know you wouldn't do that and thats whats worrying because its natural for you and completely unnatural for the rest of us, at least not without some seriously grueling work." Sirius explained as Hermione stood there as if listening to a lecture.

"I see..." Hermione said, her mind thinking over the new revelation.

"So, you really shouldn't worry about Dumbledore. He wont react like James did, I promise you... he'll try to figure it all out with you, help you make sense of it all..." Sirius reassured but there was a feeling Hermione couldn't place...an irrational feeling about Dumbeldore that made her question him.

"Why are you so trusting of him?" Hermione asked curiously as Sirius eyed her with mild shock.

"Because he's Dumbledore!" Sirius said simply. Hermione frowned but decided to let it drop. She heard Sirius sigh as he moved over into her personal space in that special way of his...as if he had every right to and he gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Hermione's heart jumped in her chest at the simple gesture, her wide eyes gazing into his. "I'm sorry if I've scared you Hermione." he said making Hermione's heart lodge in her throat as the puffs of their breaths collided together in the cold air.

"I'm not scared..." she lied quickly as Sirius continued to stare down at her with his hand still in her hair. Her heart definitely sped up when she caught a whiff of his smell mixing with the wind. It surprised her that she liked it, a bit like shampoo and a smell that must of come from his house, a sort of rich airy smell. She blushed as Sirius watched her face head on; she had honestly thought that boys were all disgusting smelly creatures... but Sirius was definitely not smelly.

Sirius let go of her hair and his arm fell back to his side; Hermione watched with hyper awareness all his movements. She found that this close to him, she was noticing things she had never really noticed before... like how much taller he had gotten since the last time they had been alone like this, that his adams apple bobbed whenever he swallowed, that his black hair was carelessly falling into his eyes. She couldn't help but reach up and brush his hair out of his eyes, freezing up when she realized just how intimate it felt doing so.

All the while Sirius just stayed watching her with his steady gaze that made her pulse race with the focus he stared at her with. Awkwardly, Hermione let her hand fall away before she cleared her throat and took a step back with an embarrassed smile. She was shocked when Sirius's hand reached out and grabbed hold of her hand to still her. She numbly stared down at his pale hands on her own before she looked back up into his eyes.

"Are you in love with me, Hermione?" Sirius asked casually as Hermione turned tomato red. Her mouth opened for a moment as she sputtered for an answer, so completely overwhelmed before she took a steadying breath and brought a hand to her mouth to stop her from saying anything embarrassing. Her eyes shifted away from this, unable to withstand the unyielding way he was looking at her as she contemplated her feelings.

Did she really love Sirius? For so long she had only felt the bitter feeling of betrayal at the way he treated her like a discarded toy. But was she bitter at being ignored or hurt that he didn't like her anymore? She knew deep down the answer... without fail her eyes were always seeking him whenever she entered the great hall or the common room or the class rooms... and if her eyes ever did met his they always looked away and then back at each other. Like a game of cat and mouse...

Hermione gazed back at him during her musings and caught the knowing look in his eyes. It surprised her and she just reacted instinctively.

"Why are you always so over confident? Not every girl is in love with you Sirius." Hermione responded smartly making Sirius frown with a dull glare at her for a second. She was sort of sad when he let go of her hand.

"Hey, I never said every girl was, you did..." he said as he shoved his hands back into his pockets. Hermione scoffed to mask her whirling feelings from earlier.

"No, you just act like every girl is. I mean, honestly, what makes you think its okay to ask a girl a question like that just clear out the blue." Hermione sad as Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well, your the one who brushed my hair away..." he retorted.

"Your the one who did it first, so does that mean that your the one in love with me then, Sirius?" Hermione retorted hotly as Sirius laughed shortly.

"Not bloody likely with the way your acting..."

"The way I'm acting? I'm just pointing out your arrogant attitude!"

"Exactly, its like you have to bring me down to make yourself feel better!"

"No I am not! Thats what you do! You and James, the both of you do that sort of thing all the time to so many people with your 'pranks'!"

"Oh come off it, thats just for laughs...!"

"Well it's not really funny to other people, is it? You certainly don't like it when it's done back to you!"

"Ugh! You know what! I don't even know why I'm standing here arguing with you!" Sirius bellowed as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Search me!" she responded as Sirius glared at her for a moment as Zero jumped up and down beside them. "but if you run away than its only because you know I'm right!"

"Yes, because you just always have to be right like a little know-it-all!

"I am not a know-it-all!

"Yes you are!"

"Well I don't even know what were aruguing for!"

"Neither do I!"

"Then maybe we should stop!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

A moments pause followed before the two broke out in laughter. Hermione let the relief of the released tension flow through her with that laughter and knew it was the same for Sirius.

They stayed for only a little while longer outside in the snow before Hermione felt it was time for her to go. Sirius walked her all the way to her house and they parted ways with smiles. Her heart and mind stayed with Sirius for the rest of Christams break until they were back at Hogwarts. She found thinking about him was a welcome escape from thinking about the strange reality that her visions were not vision but in fact bits of glimpses of the future.

When she got back to Hogwarts, Hermione was right back into business mode. She spent countless hours in the library doing school work and looking up seers. She thought perhaps that she was seeing the future... her efforts were all in vain.

...+_+... Day 159

"Voila! It is done!" Lily's excited voice exclaimed, shattering Hermione's thoughts as she waved her paper in front of her face.

"Good job Lily." Hermione said dispassionately as Lily beamed at her anyway.

"Thank you, thank you! I must say this is my longest essay yet!" she said before her green eyes peered over to Hermione's paper. Her eyes widened and her mouth nearly hit the floor when she saw hers. "Bloody hell Hermione! Your paper is almost to the floor!" she exclaimed in shock as Hermione shrugged.

"I have a lot to say on the subject of partonus's." Hermione explained simply as Lily snapped her jaw shut, her green eyes flashing with a hint of annoyance before they were back to pleasing green. She turned to look over at Sev, his dark hair hiding his face as he bent close to his paper, his hand moving diligently.

"How are you doing Sev?" she asked curiously as Sev just shrugged in response but did not glance up. Lily pouted and Hermione giggled slightly at her petulant face.

"Well, since I'm done I'm going to put my books back and head to the tower...I'll see you later!" Lily said, gathering up her things with a quick flick of her wrist and levitating her books in front of her. Hermione and Severus barely glanced up in response so Lily left a little huffily.

Hermione sat for a good ten minutes after she finished with her paper staring outside the window by their work table.

"Hey, Severus..." Hermione spoke up, breaking the compatible work silence between them. Sev grunted an acknowledgment so Hermione continued. "your in love with Lily, right?" she asked abruptly making the poor boys head jerk up with a rare speed he rarely showed.

His dark eyes stared at her for a moment before he sighed and sat back in his seat with an annoyed scowl on his face.

"We've been over this Hermione-"

"I know you are Sev...I've known since the first five minutes in the train ride back in first year." Hermione interrupted as Severus's scowl deepened but a suspicious red coloring tinted his normally pale cheeks as he crossed his arms.

"So then what is the point of this conversation Black?" he asked with guarded as eyes as Hermione gazed very seriously at him.

"I want to know how you know your in love her..." Hermione said, pushing herself up on her seat and leaning forward on her elbows. A genuinely surprised look crossed over Sev's face before he gazed uncomfortably away from her.

"Er..."

"Please just tell me Sev." Hermione requested as the boy sighed again gruffly but relaxed his arms and seemed to ponder an answer.

"I suppose I knew when she was all I could think about..." Severus mumbled as Hermione encouraged with her eyes for him to continue. "Look Hermione, this is really awkward to talk about-"

"But you know you want to talk about it...it's not like you can share your feelings with anyone in Slytherin." Hermione responded readily as he seemed to falter slightly. "Besides, you know I'm not going to judge you...I just really need to know because truthfully...I don't really have anyone I can talk to about these sort of things with either..." Hermione confessed as Sev gave her a confused look.

"But Lily-"

"Is with those daft M&M half the time..." Hermione cut off again as Sev actually gave Hermione a sympathetic glance.

"Well, alright fine...but I already told you how I knew." Sev said but Hermione needed more than that.

"Oh come on Sev..."

"Okay, okay...I just knew because... I was constantly dreaming about her, about me with her and holding her hand...I want to be a part of every little aspect of her life and I want her to share everything with me. I think about her constantly and my eyes follow her wherever she goes and when she looks back at me..." Severus trailed off, his wistful sort of greedy expression suddenly turning into a mad blush as he cleared his throat and gazed fixedly at the table before them.

"What, what is it?" Hermione urged, completely involved with his telling emotions.

"She just makes me feel...things. Things I don't feel about anyone else. It's like... I can't feel anything from anyone other than her."

Hermione watched her grunge looking friend with something akin to awe; for a moment she even let herself feel jealous of Lily. Severus at this point was bobbing up and down nervously in his chair and blushing reluctantly, avoiding Hermione's eyes.

"Wow Sev. You just managed to say something men triple times your age couldn't even say as well as you." Hermione praised as Sev glared at her.

"You better not tell Lily anything I just said! I'm serious Hermione!" Severus demanded as Hermione gaped at him.

"But why? What you just said was beautiful!"

"You know why! Don't play daft! If Lily found out my feelings for her than she'd just pull away from me. She probably wouldn't even speak to me anymore-"

"Oh come off it Severus. If you know Lily like I know you do than you know she wouldn't stop being friends with you just because you fancy her...she'd be pleased!" Hermione said as Severus's expression turned cold.

"I'm telling you not to tell her!" he bellowed, his fists hitting clenching tightly on his chair with his aggression. Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine! I won't tell her if you don't want me to! So calm down! It's not like I told her before this conversation." Hermione promised. "Besides you did me a favor in telling me about your feelings in the first place."

And it was true. Hearing Severus's words about his feelings towards Lily...of how he knows even at such a young age that he loves her, it made Hermione realize something that had been bothering her since Christmas. She finally had an answer to the question that followed her since he'd asked her all those months ago.

Was she in love with Sirius?

Of course when he had asked her during Christmas break she had felt shy and embarrassed and didn't really get to think about it...but now she thought about it all the time. She thought about Sirius all the time...and so she wondered and decided to talk to the one person she knew could help her. Severus's answer made her realize that maybe she didn't love Sirius, but she definitely liked him. He gave her feelings no one else made her feel too.

She knew though that she would never be able to love anyone really when she had a whole bunch of her own problems to solve. She had no time to wonder about Sirius and every last aspect of his life since she her own was a jumbled mess. She figured though that thinking about him a lot, following him with her eyes for as long as she has been was a fine indication that she wasn't far from falling for him...

Later that night, Hermione was as per usual struggling to fall asleep. Her dreams had been the same reoccurring dreams of Dumbledore and the love room. She truly hated night and her inability to ignore the things she pushed behind during daylight. At night she had to face all her demons all the strange circumstances of her 'visions' and the possibility that there was so much that she did not understand about her own self.

But hating the night...hating sleep, it didn't change anything. She still needed to rest. And so with foreboding feelings churning her stomach, Hermione fell into sleep and she dreamed.

_The room was cramped. Hermione absolutely hated it. She hated how confined she felt...she hated that she let herself be placed here. Most especially, she hated that she could see Hogwarts so clearly from the only window in the tight space but she could not venture inside. Dumbledore told her that under no circumstances was she to go to Hogwarts if there were students present; when they were gone for summer break was the only time she was allowed in the castle. But she did not want to go when the castle was an empty, lonely sort of place...she wanted to go when all the other students were there. _

_And there was only one way she was going to be able to do that. _

_So when Dumbledore came and she told him her vision, she also made him a deal...Her enslavement in return for her freedom. _

_She was resting on her bed after her fainting stint, Dumbledore sitting on her bedside. The air between them was solemn mixed with tension and determination. _

_"Professor, you know I am right. The werewolf will need this space." Hermione continued imploringly. "And you will need him when the time comes. He will be instrumental in the war." _

_"I understand but there are great risks in allowing you to attend Hogwarts." _

_"That is why we will have precautions, Headmaster... You can take my memories so that I can act and be like a normal child," Hermione said a little desperately. "and then when the time comes in its own natural way, I will remember and join in the fight against him. You know I will be able to do more than anyone else, I already have all the knowledge it will takes years upon years for you to even realize."_

_"Yes, I know how valuable you are and that way the risk is too great-..."_

_"Dumbledore, you know that I know you better than anyone. You make the hard calls that no one else can make because you know the risks are well worth it. It might seem that I am a young child, that using me is too immoral but only this body is a little girl. It would be stupid not to use me." she said with wise brown eyes for older than any child. _

_"Besides, that's why I'm talking to you about letting me into Hogwarts in the first place. You won't be able to use me as effectively as possible if I try to infiltrate without a proper background. It will be too suspicious if I pop up into his ranks without anything he can trace me back to. We need to play this out perfectly in order for it to work." _

_"And you think memory suppression and extractions will be enough? Your power is far too great for it Hermione." _

_"It will be hard, yes and of course there will be random bursts of power but it will still at least take a few years, years in which I will grow and then I will be at an age where this body will be able to handle it..."_

_"Will you though, will you be able to handle it Hermione?" _

_"Yes," Hermione said with a shrug after a pause. "and if it seems like I can't then you give me back my memories and I'll just have to act accordingly." _

_There was a long pause as Dumbledore's blue eyes thought about her offer before he nodded his head. _

_"Alright, I agree that it would all be for the best in the end. I don't like it, there are so many uncontrollable variables..." _

_"But it's all we've really got." _

_"Yes, I suppose it is."_

Hermoine's eyes snapped open as she sat up from her bed with a great big gasp.

And in this moment, everything changed.

A/N: A quick thank you to you all! I have to hurry and go to school now but I would just like to say that this is my longest chapter every written! I would write more but I can't right now and I don't want to keep you guys waiting...even though I honestly planned for this chapter to be the end of third year I can promise you that next chapter will be for sure! Anyway I've gotta run! Don't forget to review!


	11. The Awakening

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to **MRS. R.A.B**!

Hermione woke up with a loud gasp and shot ram rod straight in her bed. Her eyes took in nothing, just kept replaying the scene from her dream...the small, cramped shack, the firelight and the feeling of the bed sheets clenched tight in her hand as she bargained with Dumbledore...

Dumbledore.

A well of emotion, mostly anger, sprang up in Hermione at the thought of her professor. Without wasting another second, Hermione was up and out of her bed, panic, fear, denial and shock all fueling Hermione as she hustled out of her room one track-mindedly.

Her brain didn't even register getting out of her bed, opening the door or going down the girls staircase and she probably would have continued to go on her way without thinking a thing if the portrait door hadn't opened, emitting Sirius. For a long moment Hermione could think nothing but 'obstacle!'. Sirius was not even a person, or even someone she knew, just a substance in the way of the portrait whole that ultimately would lead to answers but then she realized, well everything... she registered the late hour, her panicked state, and Sirius...

Sirius who was standing there like a deer caught in the headlights. Hermione's eyes roved over him and even in the darkness she could see his mused state, the hair that stood up in all sorts of angles, his hazardously buttoned shirt and something poking out the back of his pants pockets. Hermione's eyes narrowed on it and before she knew what she was doing, she was reaching out and grabbing it.

"No!" Sirius shouted, trying to lunge for the offending piece of garment in Hermione's hand...but it was too late.

With a grimace, Hermione threw the bra onto the common room floor and watched numbly as Sirius bent down and picked it up guiltily. It took him a while to turn his head back up to look at her and his expression was closed off as if she might not have realized what that bra was and what it entailed. But she knew, she saw and she knew...Sirius was coming back from messing around with some girl in the castle...possibly after even making love to the girl.

And then it was all too much. Hermione could feel the tears spring into her eyes and she wanted so badly to to...she didn't even know! She just knew that it was all too much for her. So she turned and ran out the portrait hole. She didn't even hear Sirius's shouts or his thundering footsteps behind her, she just ran and ran and ran and when she felt his hand finally grasp onto her upper arm, she swung around and with all her burning momentum she slapped him right across the face.

The force of the blow was so hard she almost expected him to go flying but Sirius just moved with it with an ease that definitely showed practice. Hermione couldn't help her little gasp of horror that sprouted out from her mouth. The tense air seemed to suffocate her and she hated herself for the tears that automatically sprang up in her eyes. Sirius stayed like that only for a few moments before he turned his face and looked at her and Hermione couldn't help but back away with her hands over her mouth at his cold eyes.

Tense seconds passed with Sirius just looking at her with those unreadable gray eyes. Hermione felt a well of even stronger emotion and before she even realized what she was doing, she was running again away from Sirius who did not chase after her. She stopped relatively quickly when it became hard to breath and then she took in her surroundings somewhere near the Room of Requirement.

Hermione still gasping, slide down the nearest corridor wall and tried to regain her composure. She knew she should be more cautious of patrols but at the moment she could only feel an overwhelming tiredness. She needed to think and talk herself back into her frame of mind.

So she had seen Sirius coming back after a night with some girl... so what? She had no claim to him and no real right to be angry. Yet, it hurt. It wasn't like there wasn't hints of a relationship. She liked Sirius, and she knew he must know because she allowed him to kiss her and hold hands and come into her personal space.

But besides that there were greater things at hand like Dumbledore. Like herself. Her dream came to her again with such clarity Hermione even wondered if she dreamed it at all, it felt more like a memory. But that would make it real. Something that really happened to her, something that meant she didn't know herself at all.

Panic again welled inside of Hermione but she squashed it down and with a clearer mind she made her way to Dumbledore's office. When she reached it she was surprised to find the golden Griffin statue already moved aside. She should have been surprised to see Dumbledore awake and dressed standing hunched over the pensieve but she was not. She was angry.

The rage wracked over her at the sight of him and she let it because rage was better than all the rest of her jumbled up emotions. She was so tongue tied with it that she couldn't even speak.

"Please sit Ms. Black." Dumbledore requested without turning to peer at her. This made Hermione grit her teeth and clench her fists. Hermione said and did nothing in a silent rebellious response.

Dumbledore nodded as to himself at this as he leisurely corked up an empty vial and turned finally toward to Hermione, his blue eyes darkened with solemnness that rarely graced his eyes in the presence of students. Hermione realized in that moment that she had seen that same look in his eyes whenever he gazed at her from before she came to Hogwarts during his strange 'visits'.

"Ms. Black... Hermione. I know why you have come here tonight. To be honest I assumed we would have had this conversation a long time ago..."

At this Hermione opened her mouth to actually disrespect her professor with a biting retort but stopped short when Dumbledore raised his hand to silence her.

"Please, I ask that you can find it within yourself to hear me out till the end Hermione. I would like for you to listen to my explanation or rather, your past and then you may unleash your pent up frustrations." Dumbledore requested so properly but with an underlying power even through his subdued demeanor Hermione could not refuse.

Dumbledore inspected her through his half moon glasses for a moment as Hermione bit back the rage and bitterness through sheer will power. A second later she was silently fuming in the chair in front of the headmasters desk with Dumbledore coming before her with the pensieve that he placed in front of her. The murky rippling water drew Hermione's interest for a second before she was once again staring stonily at her headmaster.

"I think the best way to go about this is to show you, Hermione." Dumbledore said as he gestured towards the bowl.

Shock rolled through Hermione, penetrating through her anger, along with disbelief. For years now she had been searching for the answers that Dumbledore was offering to her as he would a lemon drop. It was almost laughable. All the struggle and pain she had felt wondering about herself about her past and now it would all be answered. A sickening nervousness coiled around her stomach. Was she really ready? There would be no more guessing now, no room for argument or speculation. Dumbledore would show her the truth about her own self. Hermione eyed him suspiciously for a moment before curiosity won over and she dipped her head into the surface.

...(^^)...

Bright light flooded her senses, a blurring sensation so disorienting it left her breathless and then she was splintered apart... she could fell the pieces of herself unraveling like paper streamers. Two heart beats sounded all around, their loud thumping penetrated the broken pieces of herself.

All she was was grief.

All she was was sorrow.

All she was was broken.

It was such a desolate lonely place to be. Her core was shaken, her fourteen year old self stripped away; innocence stolen, naivety forever gone. It was mournful. It was painful.

Why had she been so eager to remember? Why couldn't she just stayed as she was forever? Ignorance was bliss.

"Ms. Black... Hermione?" Dumbleoder's tentative voice sought her out of her despair but it was a low call that barely reached her ears over the torrent of her own inescapable pain.

"Hermione please, drink this."

She felt so numb and she did not want to come out from the grave she dug herself in her mind. She did not want to face this man again, nor anyone, not even the world.

But then eyes opened in her shrouded protective sphere. Green eyes framed by large glasses adorning a pale thin boyish face.

She drew breath.

"Hermione?"

She opened her eyes, saw Dumbledore's concerned aged blue eyes above hers and spoke.

"I'm back. It's me Dumbledore."

...(^^)...

It was a beautiful day out. Laying languid on the grass below the tree in her small backyard, Hermione enjoyed the easy warmth of summer and the soft caresses of a gentle breeze that played with tendrils of her brown wavy hair. She fingered the folds of the letter cradled on her chest, one from Remus and one from Lily both almost two pages long.

And then on the other corner of the yard something flickered in the bushes.

Hermione sprang up and in half a blink had her wand trained perfectly in the center of zero's eyes. A tense moment passed inside of Hermione in which she stared down into Zero's unperturbed lightening like eyes in a chilling posture of her 'fight' response before she registered the dog who reached up her head and licked her wands tip.

Hermione let out a long breath and raised a hand to her head as she lowered her wand. She felt shaking and disoriented at her own self, her own responses. It had been really rough for her after being what she referred to as reawakened that night in Dumbledore's office almost two months ago. She felt such a strong disconnection to everything, lost in her own life, uneasy and uptight. It had proven to be quite a turbulent ordeal trying to feign normalcy .. to talk to Severus as she used to, to laugh like she actually meant it with Lily, to jest and bicker with the marauders. She supposed she had done an alright job since no one suspected too much of a difference in her; just a comment here or there to smile more, or to stop brooding so much or 'studying'. The stress of exams also helped to deter any suspicions.

However, she worried for the next school year where she would have to masquerade as a simple school girl when she was far more than that. She was tempted to ask Dumbledore to strip her of her memories again so at least she could stop pretending, stop walking feeling like she weighed a ton with all the burdens she carried on her shoulders.

She knew that it would never happen though, that old simplicity from before was gone. She could not go back to being Hermione Black...she knew whom she truly was. She was Hermione Granger... and she knew everything that entailed being Hermione Granger which had nothing to do with normal or safe. She was changed, she was different.

Because she had to take down Voldemort! She had to save Ron and Harry!

Brown eyes gazed up at the blue sky, at the white clouds above. It was peaceful for now but she could not be lead into a false sense of comfortableness. Voldemort was out there, doing horrible deeds as she breathed in the air, as she felt the sun kiss her skin. He was building his power, creating more horocrux's and killing.

But she would stop him.

Oh yes she will stop him.

Her back tingled as if to her assert determination.

A feeling of a light touch near her bare skinny ankles made Hermione look down. One of the letters dropped in her hasty standing was bracing against the wind on her leg. Slowly she bent down and picked it up, her eyes running over the lines of Remus's neat signature at the bottom of the page.

At first she had been very surprised at Remus's corresponding with her during the break even though they spoke often of keeping in touch but these were words she always said but never kept with anyone but Lily and Severus. It was a welcome surprise. Remus's mundane and normal letters kept Hermione from brooding too much in her displaced mind and gave her back just a taste of life before. She smiled and laughed jovially as he regaled tales of surprising hazardous moments in his summer gardening club he was president of. After the stunt she pulled to punish the marauders for not telling her their secrets, Remus had been forthright with his gardening club secret, telling her that it was a sort of meditation to help tame his beast that his mother wanted him to do. He had minded at first but had actually grown to like it quite a bit, finding he had a green thumb.

It was also pleasing to have news of the other marauders, and if she was truly honest with herself...Sirius. Thinking about the deviously good looking marauder was like opening up a can of worms inside Hermione. Things had been strained between the two to say the least. Sirius had even opted to not come back to Grimmauld Place this summer, or so Remus had informed her in his letters. He was staying at James's house, no doubt to work on becoming animagus's like Remus said, but Hermione had a suspicion that maybe it was perhaps more. Like a small slight towards her that said he wanted to keep a distance.

A distance she really should welcome in light of her recent 'awakening'. Really with everything such a mess she should spend the summer alone to get a hold on her self and her power that seemed to increase with the return of some of her memories. Yet, she knew the feeling weighing down in her chest. It was disappointment. She was disappointed Sirius was gone with no chance of her running into him and this feeling messed her up even more.

Conflicting emotions so prominent inside her waged war in her mind. On one hand, she knew that during her time as Hermione Black, her feelings towards Sirius, the simple heart pounding encounters, were truly precious to her and it remained somewhere deep inside but then there was Harry... Harry was everything, he was her reason for coming back to this time, he was the reason why she was sacrificing her everything. He was her everything but he was not here. He was not with her in this place.

There in lies the biggest problem, her time placement because if she wasn't Hermione Granger, member of the Golden Trio, best friend to Harry Potter and Brightest Witch of her age then she was Hermione Black, adopted daughter to Marius Black with no affiliation to Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley or Jane Granger and Rupert Granger.

And if everything turned out the way it should, then she would never have any affiliation with them... not even in the future.

She couldn't dwell on it too much. She knew what must be done, she had to stop Voldemort, she had to fix everything so Harry wouldn't die so there was a chance for happiness. She knew that in order to achieve that she would have to open herself to the dark side... to somehow find a way into the death eater circle so she could monitor Tom Riddle and destroy his horocrux's and she knew that in order to do that she couldn't really keep too many friends.

Not unless she played it really smart...

Her main goal was to make herself out to be this generations Severus with Harry being to her the equivalent of Lily to Sev. Obviously, this made no room for wild cards like Sirius. She would have to let him go, let him think that that tiny insignificant encounter the night of her 'awakening' was enough to ruin any chances of them being together.

A breeze swooped the air around Hermione making her hair fly into her face and the leaves stir. As she raised a delicate pale hand to push her hair behind her ear, she wiped one tear from her cheek.

For a love as fleeting as the breeze.

-(^^)-

Rather than being focused on the book in front of him like Severus knew he should, he was more focused (or transfixed really) on the way Lily's auburn hair gleamed with a touch of gold in the lamp light. His dark eyes drank in every single detail of the girl quickly blossoming into a woman in front of him. He could already see the framework of her face, once slightly rounded childlike face was narrowing into a more defined chin and cheek bones, her hair was getting longer too, her child like bangs angled growing more even and longer which made her look slightly older. Her eyes though, those wide, entrancing pure green eyes were still the same and he was sincerely glad for that.

He already wished to stop time, to stop her growth. He wanted to stay with her like this forever, and never age at all. He wanted to always be thirteen and summer where he could have Lily all to himself because with each passing day was a possibility that Lily would out grow him. She was becoming beautiful, not that she wasn't always beautiful but she was becoming the type of beautiful that would start to really attract not only boys there age but older and older boys and boys even now were going to covert her...want to date her and...and...lay physical claim on her.

For a moment it was hard for Severus to breath. The thought of Lily, sweet innocent feisty Lily, falling in love and into the arms of some other handsome boy (James) was almost too much. He could barely stand it. He wanted to whisk her off then and there to somewhere where only he could gaze upon her, to shield her away from the eyes of leering wolf like boys.

Because he was different from them. His love for Lily was pure. He just wanted to be with her, talk to her and hear her tinkling bell like laugh, to have those green eyes fixed on only him... he wasn't ruled by his lust for her...if she never wanted him like that he could understand and live with it so long as she never left him... so long as she remained in his life he was content.

The existence of Lily Evans was so much more than the need to make love with her. She was the only light in his dark dreary life, the only beacon of hope to him.

"Severus, I think I found something." Lily said, tearing Sev away from his musing. He hadn't even noticed that he wasn't staring at her hair anymore but curious green eyes. "Sev are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm...I'm fine! Now, what did you say you found?" he asked latching onto a distraction from her probing gaze. Lily eyed him for a second longer before bending her head back to the book in front of her.

Like that had done last summer, Lily and Sev had once again returned to Sev's mother's secret room with the hidden spell books. They had been reading through all the passages and scouring the place since they got back. Of course, Severus couldn't really care one bit what it was that they decided to do so long as he was doing it with Lily but Lily was taking the job of helping Hermione find out about the tattoo very seriously.

Her loyalty to her friends was just another thing Severus loved about Lily Evans.

"Okay, tell me what you think of this passage here..." Lily ordered, clearing her throat cutely as she prepared to read. "It is recalled in ancient tomes like _Ignitus Enchantments and Incantations_ that sacrificial dealings made with a specific angel or high powered sorcerer or sorceress was a common practice in olden aged magic, more commonly known as the pre-Merlin age. These sacrificial type of magic is often thought of to be dark magic as they prove to be very unethical deals with the devil type magic however, there is reason to believe that this presumption is false. Sacrificial magic only harms the person making the deal often with death. The 'cursed ones' as they are sometimes called, bear the tattoo marks of ancient long forgotten magic speculated to mean 'early death' on their backs or chest. The 'cursed ones' make a deal with a previous well known passed on sorcerer who would have enough power in the after life to grant one final wish to the cursed one but in exchange for granting this wish, the cursed one must die before the actual death intended for them by the gods. Not much is known about previous sacrificial ordeals though there are some that suggests that legendary Odette was a product of these sacrificial dealings. The tattoo on the 'cursed ones' is the only solid evidence of the occurrences of supposed dealings since they were tested to be made puzzling of a magical lining unknown to witch or wizard that cannot be explained and all accounts with these tattoos have similar stories."

A long silence sprouted between the two as they pondered the passage. Severus himself had only seen Hermione's tattoo once when Lily had convinced her to include him into their search. Lily, he knew, had seen the tattoo many times and had even drawn a crude version of the tattoo to refer to during the research. He could never forget it though. He remembered the intricate twist and turns of the golden brown lines on Hermione's skin that seemed to glow with an inner brilliance. It was the only time that Severus had ever been entranced by something that didn't stem from Lily. But did that mean that it was this so called sacrificial tattoo?

He could see on Lily's face that she believed it was. The way her light red eyebrows furrowed on her face, and the way she nibbled nervously on her pouty red lips all indicated that Lily was feeling extremely upset.

"Sev-"

"I know what your thinking Lily and I'll stop you right now. This is not the same as what Hermione has."

"But we don't know what Hermione's tattoo means or how it got there or anything! It just appeared on her skin! How do you explain something like that!" Lily bellowed, sitting up from where she had previously been laying on her front as she read to face Severus. Her green eyes were screaming at him many emotions, fear, anger and a little bit of hope. Hope that Severus could prove her wrong.

"I know we don't know any of that but we cant just assume that its the first thing that even mentions mysterious tattoos! For one thing, this passage sounded a lot like their theory is based mostly on assumptions and even they had a tone of suspicion! Besides, Hermione is only fourteen years old! What sort of well known powerful wizard would she knew thats dead that she would make some sort of crazy deal with just to die early! It's absolutely ridiculous Lily and to even consider it for a second would be outrageous! This has nothing to do with Hermione! All I know for sure is that the tattoo is there and it hasn't hurt her yet so I think, for now, we should just think rationally and not jump to any wild conclusions, okay?" Severus implored feeling better as he saw the fear and anger fade from Lily's eyes, the tension flowing out of her body with his words.

"Yeah, your right. I suppose I let myself get carried away. I'm just really worried about her, Sev. She just been acting so strange ever since that one night I told you about a while back. Something just isn't right with her Sev. She wouldn't even eat or speak after that for almost a week afterwards... I'm really afraid for her you know. If something happened... I just feel so hopeless you know? I just want to help her..." she said, her glossy green eyes staring up into his with such a look it made his heart ache.

"I promise you Lily, nothing is going to happen to Hermione! I'll do whatever is in my power to help her just like you. Together we'll both keep her safe." _Because I know she means so much to you... and for you I'll do anything to keep you happy._ Was what he didn't say.

"Your so sweet Sev. I don't know how I got so lucky to have a kind and caring best friend like you." Lily said, scooting over to wrap Severus into a hug that sent his heart soaring and the blood rushing to his head.

"Okay," Lily said, pulling back and wiping at her eyes before fixing her green eyed stare back onto Sev. "how about we make a pact to each other to do our best to keep Hermione safe no matter what! We'll both look after her when the other isn't there and we'll help her through whatever it is she's going through...agreed?" Lily said, her face so earnest Severus couldn't help but nod.

"Agreed."

The brilliant smile Lily gave him afterwards was well worth it to Severus. At least for now.

...(^^)...

"Hermione are you ready yet?" Marius called from the stairs as Hermione busily rushed around her room and fussed with her hair.

"Ill be down in a sec!" She called, trying to smooth down a particularly persistent curl that stood up like Alfalfa.

"That's what you told me five minutes ago!" he called back as Hermione pursed her lips and tucked the hair under the rest of her mane. She then ran some gloss over her lips and flattened out her eyebrows before she froze what she was doing.

"What am I doing?" she asked her reflection before groaning and letting her head fall into her hands. "How pathetic can I be getting so nervous just because of Sirius?" she mumbled to herself with frustration.

She knew she was being ridiculous. She had barely even been able to sleep the past couple of nights just thinking about meeting up with the Potters plus Sirius. She kept seeing Sirius's stony face after she slapped him months ago... she kept remembering the feeling of the weight of his gaze on hers, the sound of his voice in her ears. It was like he was burrowing himself underneath her skin, making her restless, making her day dream, making her stuck. Stuck on him.

She was starting to really hate herself. She felt like a dual personality had invaded her senses. She knew it was futile to be thinking about him, not to mention pathetic. The amount of even slightly romantic encounters they had between them could be counted on one hand and he obviously was messing around with a number of other girls... which just made her even more pathetic.

But even with all the arguing she did with herself that she had bigger problems than that arrogant, pretentious, handsome, charming, devious Sirius Black... she just couldn't stop thinking about him. She had never guessed that she would be so hung up on just one boy...

Then again she had been pretty hung up on Ronald Weasley once...

But she couldn't think about that... No, thinking anything about tall, handsome red heads with blue eyes and cute freckles, or unyielding bespectacled green eyes with midnight black hair and pale complexion and an amazing disposition was just asking for heart ache and confusion. She could not allow herself to go there or she would hurt too much to handle.

In fact, even just thinking their names took all the breath she had away.

No, it was actually better to focus more on things like Sirius. She could still function when she thought about Sirius... albeit a little less efficiently but still.

And she was about to see Sirius. And James for that matter but who really cared about seeing him.

"Hermione LETS GO!" Marius bellowed, making Hermione jump in front of her vanity mirror.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming down." She responded, glancing at herself one more time in the mirror before finally exiting the room. No more room for stalling.

"You've really done it Hermione. We're going to be spectacularly late seeing the Potters now!" Marius huffed as she finally stepped down into the entrance where he was waiting for her in fumes. Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes.

Lately, with Hermione's 'awakening' things were subtly different between her and Marius. He was more uptight around her and she to be honest even she was more cautious with him. It was another sadness to add to the rest with the coming of remembering her past.

"Sorry." she answered lamely, averting her brown eyes. Marius huffed indignantly before slamming open the door and stepping outside. For a moment Hermione gazed at the man's back, tense and slightly hunched and felt...lost. This back was not the same to her as it was just a few months ago... she knew who she was now.

She was a Granger.

"Are we going to meet up with the Potters at the Leaky again?" she asked just to distract herself from her thoughts.

"Yes, just as we've been every year." Marius responded shortly. Hermione decided after that to not speak at all.

When they came to the leaky Hermione felt her heart sputtering wildly in her chest. She wondered how she would greet Sirius, if he would talk to her, if he would look at her and see the difference in the girl he once spent a summer kiss with. Would he notice how different she felt? How mad her mind was going?

The entrance to the Leaky opened with a loud creak as Marius opened the door to let her inside. Her eyes immediately searched the various faces of the patrons of the leaky for a pair of startling electric grayish blue eyes of Sirius.

"Hermione, Brother! How wonderful to see your faces again!" Mrs. Potter greeted from a stool by the front of the bar. Marius was all smiles as he greeted his sister but Hermione was too busy looking for Sirius to pay attention to the small talk.

"Mrs. Potter, pardon my interruption but where is James and Sirius?" Hermione asked seeing no sight of them. Curiously, Mrs. Potter face got bright red and she did some strange fluttering with her hands as she averted her eyes. A nervous laughed bubbled from her painted lips.

"Well, you see Hermione... the boys weren't able to come they...they weren't feeling too well-"

"What happened?" Hermione asked staring seriously into Mrs. Potters grey eyes. She cleared her throat uncomfortably and gave Hermione an assessing look. A moment paused before she just shook her head and turned away.

"I'm afraid I don't even know myself but the situation is being taken care of that's all that matters." Mrs. Potter said, her gaze averted.

"The situa-"

"Well, I think it's time we start gathering supplies then! We've, well I've, got a lot to buy this year with those two." Mrs. Potter interrupted standing from her seat and hurrying towards the door. Marius threw Hermione a dirty look for making his sister uncomfortable.

"Don't bring it up again." he said before following her out. Hermione huffed at his back and trailed behind the two for all of the trip; not even getting anything at the pastry shop.

It was a week later when she got a letter from Remus that shed some light on what happened to James, Sirius and Peter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_You remember that tree I planted that a told you about? It's growing quite magnificently. I really wish you could see it. Mum says it symbolizes my growth and strength after...you know, **that** happened. I think she's right. I never would have thought after **that** happened that I would be able to go to Hogwarts or even have any friends. I'm really happy. Speaking about friends, I'm sure you've noticed the absences of Tweedledee and Tweedledum from you usual shopping excursions. Allow me to shed some light about that. James's mum found them in the forest with the book and of course went bloody mad. She thought they were doing dark magic and since they cant exactly tell her the truth the situation got out of hand. I think now everyone is just really eager for Hogwarts again. I know I can't wait to go back! _

Hermione sighed as she put the letter on the end stand by her room and gazed out at the 1st quarter moon shedding faint light through her window. She wished she could share Remus's joy or even have a tenth of his bravery and optimism. He seemed so strong to her, always conquering his inner battles. She only hoped that one day she'd be able to conquer hers.

A/N: A huge apology for the way too long delay in uploading this chapter! I'm afraid to admit I let life (and the tv series Glee!) stop me from writing. I'm especially sorry to Mrs. R.A.B whom I promised this chapter five days ago to! And I want to give a big thank you to all the reviews I guiltily read and all of the people who put this story onto their favorites.


	12. Fourth Year Train Ride

A/N: Oh I've missed you my faithful reviewers! I must have gone crazy to be apart from you all for so long ;) Thank you all for your immediate responses!

Chapter twelve

"How dare you Hermione-nomiddlename- Black!" The sight of the flaming red head of Lily Evans as she stormed through the swarms of people on the platform to Hogwarts enticed Hermione's flight or fight response in her body. Her twinkling eyes, clenched fist, gritted teeth and perfectly mastered stomping technique had many on the platform hasting to part away from her like the red sea.

Ducking behind Marius, Hermione weighed her options of making it onto the train before Lily caught up to her. But before she could even set up a plan of action, her own guardian betrayed her with an evil chuckle and stepped aside so Hermione was in Lily's sights. With an eep! Hermione bolted for the train.

"Oh no you don't!" Lily's voice boomed as her little hand reached out and latched onto Hermione's nose.

"Ow!" she exclaimed as Lily smirked like a Slytherin in her face.

"Gotcha!" she said with a malicious smile, still attached to Hermione's nose.

"I'm sorry Lily! Please forgive me!" Hermione immediately blurted out as the red head before her finally let her go to place her hands on her hips.

"And why exactly are you apologizing to me?" Lily demanded as Hermione guiltily looked away.

"Because I didn't respond to any of your letters-"

"Oi! Don't stop the cat fight!"

"Yeah that was sexy!"

The obnoxious voice of James and Sirius was enough to make both girls tense up as the two boys came into sight. Hermione immediately noticed Sirius's growth spurt that made him finally taller than her. He smirked at her with his hands leisurely in his pockets with James leaning against his shoulder in an over confident manner with hazel eyes fixed on Lily's tense back.

For some reason the sight of seeing Lily all tense with James eyeing her seemed...strange, wrong even. This feeling left Hermione thrown since she still felt two conflicting identities as Hermione Black and Hermione Granger. She shouldn't be here making friends with Harry's mother or even looking at his father. Hell, she shouldn't even be looking at Sirius or Remus so carefree and unhaunted!

This is one of the many reasons why Hermione didn't get in touch with Lily or anyone else for that matter during summer break. Instead she spent the days researching and reading on the most prominent family's of this era and determining which ones were involved with Voldemort. She was also sketching up plans for what she was going to do with the horocrux's and debating her next course of action with Dumbledore about her powers and what they would use it for.

"Oi! I think we're getting the cold shoulder Sirius!" James bellowed coming up besides Lily and throwing his arm around her shoulders.

"I do believe your right James! But you know I have this theory..." Sirius responded with a smirk coming up close on the other side of an infuriated Lily as she tried to shrug off James arm.

"And what is that Sirius?"

"That woman give the cold shoulder on purpose cause they know we like to chase when they show us their tails." Sirius said wiggling his eyebrows while gesturing to Lily's arse behind her back. Hermione blanched as James laughed rambunctiously. Smirking, Sirius slid Hermione a dark lidded gaze filled with questionable motives that sent a hurt rush of anger through her.

Glaring at him, Hermione shoved James off and pulled the angry Lily toward her. Just as she was about to open her mouth to let out an angry reprimand a loud slap cut her off.

Hermione immediately turned back toward Lily who held a highly satisfied look on her flushed face as a red print formed on James's face. Only slightly shocked, Hermione turned back to a no longer amused James whose turned face was shrouded by his plush black hair. A tense silence fell for a second before Lily grabbed Hermione's arm, her green eyes still fixed on James.

"That will teach you to put your hands on me again Potter. Come on Hermione, lets get away from these arrogant toerags." Lily said, turning away with her proud little nose in the air.

They walked in silence for a second with Hemione practically seeing the fumes of anger pouring out of Lily's ears. She pulled at Lily's hand gripping her to try to get her to stop.

"Wait, wait Lily! Where are we going? I still haven't said goodbye to Mar-"

"How dare he!" Lily bellowed, suddenly turning around almost making Hermione crash into her. "What makes him think that he could just put his arm around me like that? Like I'm one of those floozy girls that just giggle at him just because he's _tall_ and a _chaser_? That's just so bloody arrogant, yeah? Stupid toerag wanker!"

"I agree-"

"It's like he's trying to show off, you know? As if he's just so brilliant he can just do whatever he wants!"

"Right-"

"And he's really not all that, right? It's just that, because he doesn't really have to study to get good scores he thinks that it makes him special! And that's not impressive, blokes like Severus and Remus! Now they are the ones who are impressive! They don't flaunt around like princes and they work hard and are modest..."

"Yes, yes." Hermione responded, giving up and letting Lily have her little rant.

"And I know I'm smarter than James! I beat him in our last test scores and I'll beat him this year again! I'll get Sev to help me more in Potions and you can help me more in trans-"

"Oh wait Lily, there's Severus over there! Sev! Severus!" Hermione called excitedly, grateful for the distraction as Lily gazed around to spot him.

Severus for his part was looking as gloomy as ever. His skinny frame looked entirely too big for the raggedy old clothes he wore and his pallor was still too pale, his hair lank and in need of a haircut. Nonetheless, his eyes still lit up when they landed on Lily, only to make him frown when he saw her pouty and still flushed face.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately as he came up to them. Lily huffed and opened her mouth, no doubt about to go on another tangent about James but Hermione interrupted to spare them both.

"Jame's put his arm around Lily's shoulder and Sirius made a crude joke."

"What?" Severus asked harshly, his dark eyes getting a heavy glint in them.

"I slapped the wanker real good for it though. Nobody puts their hands on me." Lily said and that was all Sev needed to make his eyes turn adoring. Hermione couldn't help but giggle on the inside for the little rare smile that came upon his face as Lily went off again. She could see as they moved to the train that Severus wasn't really listening to Lily at all but just staring at her face and the wide range of expressions.

For a second Hermione let herself feel envious of the complete devotion. However, that feeling faded quickly when she remembered how much that devotion tortured Severus throughout his short life.

In a moment of epiphany, Hermione saw the parallel lines between Severus's devotion to Lily and Hermione's devotion to Harry. A tight feeling squeezed her heart. Would this eventually play out for her the way it did for Severus? With a sad and lonely death before her time? Could she even begrudge her death if it was to save Harry?

This question was easy for Hermione to answer. All she had to do was remember Hermione Granger. Remember her first time seeing the scarred bespectacled boy as he ate treats innocently on the first train ride to Hogwarts. All she had to do was recall the relief on Harry face and the bright smiles they shared when she was de-petrified. The happiness she felt when she realized just how big of a irreplaceable part she had in Harry and Ron's life during their trials in Hogwarts.

Yes, Hermione Granger would do anything for Harry Potter and for Ronald Weasley.

Yet, Hermione was not only Hermione Granger.

From her place where she sat by the window, Hermione Black let herself gaze at Lily Evans and Severus Snape and actually feel what she had been denying since the moment of her reawakening. Attachment.

Again, that dueling part of her waged war. Memories of being with Lily in the Girls dormitories, laughing as Lily tried to tame her frizzy hair in their matching Halloween costumes and when Lily would come hopping into her bed to gush about Christmas with her eyes sparkling like diamonds.

Even moments with Severus were precious. Quiet comfortable times in the Library were she could just be together with him in equal scholar camaraderie. Moments alight with teasing on Severus's behave over his love for Lily. She really liked Severus, trusted his opinions and took his advice. He is counted as a best friend along with Lily and sometimes she felt as if she was closer to Severus than even with Lily.

And then there was Sirius. Sirius who held both of the Hermione's most innocent and treasured memories. The beginning years of Hogwarts with him was unlike even her original time with Harry and Ron. She hadn't suffered from teasing like she had before, and she didn't bicker with him half as much as she had with Ronald. Her time with Sirius had been fun, normal and easy without any dangers.

But was that just it? Was her lingering affections just her mind embodying Sirius as her innocent happy days?

Either way, liking anybody was out of the question now for Hermione. She had to focus on her task and prepare for the future utilizing everything she owned... even if it included her heart.

"Hey Hermione? Hello, earth to Hermione! We need to change, we're almost at Hogwarts." Lily said, penetrating Hermione's thoughts.

"Oh, right." she responded, standing and gathering her belongings to change.

A moment passed with Lily sneaking observant glances as her.

"You know, you've been actually really strange lately Hermione." Lily said in a flippant manner as they started to change.

"I haven't really." Hermione responded lamely as Lily scoffed.

"Bullocks and you know it. Don't treat me like i'm daft, I know you. Like I know that you won't tell me what's wrong even if I begged you but at least tell me one thing... does it have anything to do with your tattoo?" Lily asked.

At the mention of the strange markings adorning her backside, Hermione subconsciously reached out to touch it. She had stopped wondering about the tattoo with her awakening even though the meaning of how she got it was too faint for her to recall. For a moment Hermione debated on telling Lily her new news about it before deciding it would be better to at least tell Lily something sort of related.

"It changed colors." Hermione admonished turning to face her.

"What." Lily hissed turning around herself with a wild swirl of her fiery hair. "Let me see!" Lily demanded, swooping over to Hermione in a flash and tugging at the shirt she just tugged on.

"W-wait!" Hermione said surprised as Lily shoved her around and pulled at her shirt hazardously.

"Er, sorry!" Severus's voice came abruptly from the door, his voice sounding slightly different and squeaky just as Lily let out a loud gasp.

"Merlin, Hermione it's turned white. Wait, Sev, come back in here! You've got to see this."

"Lily!" Hermione cried blushing madly at having Severus see like this; in just her school skirt and a bra, her shirt still around her neck. "I'm not decent."

"Oh hush, it's only Sev. Here, come look." Lily said to the sound of Severus emerging into the compartment. Embarrassed beyond words, Hermione could not meet Severus eyes (even though Severus's eyes were diverted anyway with his own embarrassment and just stood there with her face on fire with her arms squeezed tight covering her front as he came up beside Lily.

"Can you believe that her tattoo has actually gone white? Look, even the lines have changed and gotten a little more swirly. It almost...this sounds mad but it kind of looks like wings, or some sort of amazing feather its really..."

A pause followed with their burning gazes on Hermione's back.

"Heavenly." Severus whispered just as the cold touch of fingertips upon her skin shocked Hermione with a jolt.

"Er..."

"Sev, what are you doing?" Lily's asked making Severus's retract his touch as if suddenly burned by fire.

"I'm, er, I'll just step out so you can finish getting dressed." he said, quickly withdrawing as Hermione hastily pulled down her shirt.

A pause followed with Lily staring pensively at the door.

"That was strange." she said as Hermione tried to calm her blushing face.

"I told you not to call him in." Hermione said, hiding her face with the excuse of putting on her knee high schools and shoes.

"I didn't think... anyway, the point is that your tattoo changed colors and you don't have any guesses why it did?" she asked, quickly changing the topic to which Hermione was very grateful for.

"No I don't..." Hermione responded.

"Well, when did it happen?"

Guilt trickled into Hermione, who had to avert her eyes from Lily's inquisitive stare. Her tattoo had changed once Hermione had regained her past memories before the school year had ended but she had been trying to avoid Lily and didn't tell her.

"Over the summer." Hermione lied uneasily.

"And you didn't tell me about it...?" Lily's tone was affronted making Hermione's guilt deepen.

"I didn't want to talk about it since I don't think its really that big of a deal. The tattoo has never hurt me, it's just there-"

"This is the most ridiculous thing I've heard from you Hermione! Your supposed to be logical but now your telling me that a tattoo that you have no idea how you got onto your body just changed colors and you don't care?!"

Both of the girls ignored Severus's re-entry into the compartment as he quietly sneaked in and sat down next to where Lily was standing with her hands on her hips.

"Well what am I supposed to do Lily?! There isn't anything in the books that we've read and I can't exactly ask anyone about this-"

"You could ask the Headmaster-"

"No, I'm not talking about this with Dumbledore-"

"There you go again Hermione! Your always against talking any thing out with him. You know, with the way you act its almost as if you don't trust the Headmaster-"

"And why should I? I don't know him-"

"He's the greatest wizard of the century, he's saved countless people's lives and he's spoken up for muggleborns all over the world on top of a billion other things! What else is there to know-"

"Just stop Lily! You don't know Dumbledore like I do-"

"Ha! 'Don't know Dumbledore like I do?' What the bloody hell does that mean? You act like you know some deep dark secret about him-"

"Well maybe I do!" Hermione bellowed, her ire rising at Lily's rebuttals. "Maybe you should just drop it!"

And then it happened all so quickly. The air seemed to grow taunt, thick with the heat of Hermione's anger. Like its own entity it pressed against them in the small compartment. Then suddenly everything just exploded; the glass of the window and sliding door raining down on them as the clothes packed in there trunks blew out like a jack in the box. Screaming, Hermione wasn't sure if it was her own or someone else, rang through the air as the Glass cut through the arms shielding faces.

When it stopped, Hermione numbly shifted herself out from her crouched position, her wide brown eyes taking in the disaster of strewn glass and clothes. It didn't escape Hermione's notice that Severus had shielded Lily with his own body as they both too straightened up.

A feeling, desperate and panicked, gnarled its way through Hermione when their wide eyes fell on her.

"It wasn't me." Hermione said to their accusing eyes. Like a caged animal, Hermione slowly backed away from them as they just continued to stare at her in shock. "That couldn't have been me."

Needing to get away, Hermione spun around to run out of the glass-less threshold and promptly froze in shock. A sick feeling took a hold of her as she took a step out into the walkway with shaking knees.

Because it wasn't only their compartment that was destroyed. It was every compartment in Hermione's line of sight.

Scared, in denial, and shell shocked, Hermione turned to flee, to where she didn't even know but before she could even take a step a pain erupted from her back like liquid hot fire. It rolled down her spine and Hermione keeled over with the force of her pain, clenching her eyes shut as she tried to touch her back. Tears leaked from her eyes and though she wasn't aware of it, her mouth was open in a silent scream as the white hot agony continued its course through her. She thought she heard the sound of panicked voices through her thick haze of pain but that didn't matter. All that mattered was the flaring white hot pain that seemed to consume her endlessly.

She wasn't sure just how long it lasted until she blacked out but when she woke up she was in the hospital wing. She barely had a chance to open her eyes before the nausea hit her, forcing her to lurch over the side of the bed to vomit on the floor. When she finished, Hermione tiredly flopped back against her pillows, shivering uncontrollably under her sheets as her head pounded and her vision swam.

"Here Ms. Black, drink this. It will help with your head." Startled, Hermione jumped at the sudden voice as her eyes fell on Madame Pomfrey.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to frighten you." the nurse said soothingly, placing one hand on top of Hermione's shoulder as she held out the other clutching a vial.

"W-w-why d-d-do I f-f-feel s-s-soo-" Hermione tried to speak through her chattering teeth.

"Shush dear, don't try to speak. Just drink this up and everything will be just fine." she said with a warm smile as Hermione took the potion. The effects of the potion hit instantly, ebbing down the pulsing pain in her head and the chattering of her teeth. Tears of relief gathered in Hermione's eyes as she sighed contently and ran a hand through her head. It was only then that she realized it was daylight outside.

"What in the world? Did I sleep through the sorting feast?" Hermione asked, immediately sitting up from her relaxed state in panic.

"Calm down Ms. Black. I don't need you thinking yourself into a frenzy. Here take this other potion." She demanded, handing Hermione another bitter tasting potion that left a foul taste in her mouth.

"Bleh! That's disgusting, was that-"

"Blood replenishing potion? Yes."

"But why would I need that potion? I don't remember losing any blood."

"Well in your pain filled state you pressed your head against the floor that was littered in glass and so you split open your head and gushed out blood and since I haven't been able to feed you anything because you couldn't keep anything down and was unconscious, your body hasn't been able to replenish itself." Madame Pomfrey stated in a matter of the fact tone that made Hermione feel sort of guilty.

"I don't suppose you'll let me leave here today will you?" Hermione asked sighing disappointingly as Madame Pomfrey threw her a 'yeah right' look.

"I might discharge you tomorrow if your able to wake up without throwing up your stomach. Now, I've let you your lunch and I'll be back to check on you in an hour which is more than efficient time to finish every morsel on that plate, you understand?" She said with a stern glare.

"Yes Madam Pomfrey." Hermione responded immediately making the nurse nod in response before quickly trotting away.

As soon as the nurse disappeared from her sight, Hermione sank back down into her bed and threw the covers over her head. She wished she could hide there and disappear. The weight of what happened on the train seemed to crash over her all over again. She had not meant to create such a huge mess. She couldn't believe she let her emotions get the best of her like that.

And now because of that incident she was going to have to deal with a painfully overbearing Lily as soon as she got out of the hospital wing. She knew she only had herself to blame and was now going to have to do some serious damage control.

Hermione sighed and ran a tired hand down her face. She could imagine the rest of her classmates having a field day over the scene her passing out surely created. The looks she'll get... she already wanted to run away from it all. Dread coursed through her like a looming presence she couldn't shake off for the rest of the evening.

When it came time to go to sleep, Hermione felt a child-like impulse to simply refuse and pout away in a corner. However, she managed to check herself and say a polite goodnight to Madame Pomfrey as she turned off the lights.

She was in-between dream land and reality when the door to the hospital wing opened for the first time all day. In a moment of foolishness she thought it was Harry and Ron under the invisibility cloak to come visit her in the hospital.

When Remus's haggard face made it into her line of sight, she was almost confused before she mentally smacked her head. Of course it wasn't Harry and Ron, for it could never be them when they did not yet exist. The feeling of loneliness that thought left her with almost sent her into tears but then Remus gave her a tentative and tired smile and she managed to push it away.

"I hoped you'd be asleep when I got here." Remus said as he slowly, almost painfully, made his way over to her.

Clearing her throat from the burning lump in her throat, Hermione offered him her own tentative smile as he heavily plopped himself down on the bed next to hers.

"How disappointing, and here I thought you came all this way to entertain me until I feel asleep. Maybe tell me more about your gardening club and the brat who keeps trying to eat the strawberries you've planted." Hermione responded in a slightly hoarse tone she knew didn't get passed Remus, though his answering smile let her know he wouldn't question her about it.

"You don't want to remind me about Vincent right now or you might see me transform into a beast without the help of the wolf." Remus joked as Hermione chuckled.

"He's that bad then?" Hermione asked as Remus nodded.

"Oh yes, he's a right prat that one."

"Isn't he only, what, nine?" Hermione asked with a quiet laugh as Remus huffed.

"Doesn't make any difference, he'll still be a prat even when he's fifty. He has no respect for the gardening club or his elders." He answered in mock seriousness as Hermione continued to laugh quietly.

"I'm sure he's just foul." Hermione responded as she really took in Remus's appearance. Though smiling, Remus looked as if he was going to keel over at any moment. He leaned heavily on his elbows where he was slouched on the bed, and his eyes... they were eerily illuminated and sharp but sort of flighty as if he was sitting on a bundle of nerves.

Concerned, Hermione maneuvered carefully to get off the bed.

"Wait, Hermione, what are you doing?" Remus asked as Hermione stood up, carefully using the nightstand beside her to help her when her head began to swam and she swayed.

"Whoa, whoa... Hermione your in no condition." Remus started just as Hermione waved him off and came over to where he sat ram rod straight. She ignored his wide light amber eyes that watched her every move nervously and gently reached out a hand to touch his face. She frowned as she felt his cheeks and forehead.

"I can't tell if your normal or not..." She admitted, reaching up to touch her own head.

"Er, Hermione-"

"I think your burning up...or maybe it's me?" she said stepping closer to feel the back of his neck as she felt her own.

"Hermione..."

"Oh yep, its definitely you burning up! I mean look at your cheeks! Your all flushed!" she pointed out as she took a step back. Remus gulped heavily and raised a hand to run through his hair.

"Yeah, your right. I'm actually not feeling so good since the wolf is coming in a few days... I was really coming for a tranquilizing potion that Pomfrey makes for me. So I'll just go get..." he said, lithely squeezing through the bed and Hermione to get up. Hermione frowned as she watched him, taking in his desperate eyes and shaking hands.

"Do you want my help to get over there? You look like you can barely walk." Hermione offered stepping closer to him again. Remus shook his head with his hands held up though he wore a small smile on his face.

"Says the girl who was just swaying on her feet a few seconds ago." he responded as he stepped away.

"That was just a rush of blood to the head!" Hermione excused as Remus laughed.

"Always the proud little lion. Anyway I'm fine; It's just right there. You go back to bed and go to sleep. You look like you could use the rest." he responded as he walked away, ignoring Hermione's indignant little huff.

Reluctantly, Hermione crawled back into bed and although she had intended to stay up to have a few more words with the wolf, she was sound asleep a few seconds later.

A/N: I'm sorry for the short chapter! I just wanted to post it anyway rather than sit on it for another few days. I promise though to write another chapter within this month which is coming to an end. Unfortunately, I work all day all weekend long (curse Black Friday!) and I have exams coming up next week so it wont be soon, however! My semester ends within the first week of December so I'll have more free time to write so write I will!

I want to that you all for the reviews! I can't believe how many of you have responded! I'm sorry that I can't write up any personal shout outs but I want you to know I love each and every one of your reviews! I need them like a crack head needs crack! Like an alcoholic needs alcohol! Like a sex addict needs sex! Like a glutton needs food!

Anyway you get the point! If you have any questions (which I'm sure some of you do!) please feel free to ask and I'll make sure to answer (most likely in a private message)

Now, one that note, I have some questions for you all before I finally hit the hay (which I was supposed to do two hours ago ;p). 1. Would you like to see more Severus moments about Lily? Would you like more descriptions about Hermione's tattoo 3. Which character do you want to see more of? What do you hope to see happen in fourth year?

Okay so thats it! Thanks again! Siriusly! 136 Reviews is far beyond my expectation for this story and It makes me very happy your enjoying it! So please keep them coming!


	13. Secrets on top of Fun

When Hermione was released out of the hospital the next day, Lily was waiting to pounce on her in the girls dormitory.

"Hermione what the bloody hell!" was the first thing out of her mouth as she sprang up from her bed. Their three other roommates looked on with blatant curiosity and Hermione threw a warning glare that Lily flat out ignored.

"Lily-" she started before she was thrown her own green eyed glare.

"Don't Lily me! What happened back there? I've been worrying myself _sick_ after the train! I mean you b-"

"Lily! Can you not!" Hermione bellowed, her anxious eyes sliding to the other three occupants. Quickly, Hermione shot over to Lily and took the other girls wrists only to have her snatch them right back.

"No Hermione! I'm not going anywhere! We're going to talk about this right _here_ and right _now_, no lying or beating around the truth like you've been doing for the past few months to me and Severus-" Lily started firmly to which Hermione defensively interrupted.

"I haven't been-" Lily's icy glare stopped Hermione completely.

"Oh, are you really trying to lie right now? You've been completely closed off since before even the summer! I mean, did you honestly think me and Severus wouldn't notice the way you'd locked yourself away in the library or holed yourself up some place else where we couldn't find you? We just thought it would be best to give you some space because we thought that it was because of the tattoo-"

"Lily!"

"But obviously it's not just that, is it? You've been keeping a lot of other secrets from us haven't you, Hermione and that hurts because _I_ was under the impression that we are best friends but obviously I was wrong, wasn't I, because to my knowledge, best friends do not keep serious secrets from each other."

"Lily, I-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. To actually think I had to learn about something like this from _James_ of all people-"

"What? What did you hear from James?" Hermione asked confused.

"About your power Hermione!-"

"Wait, you mean-"

"Yes, I know! I know about your powers! Yesterday at the feast I was so worried about you that I couldn't eat and that prat James came up to me and told me that I 'shouldn't worry since 'stuff like this happened all the time', because James was under the impression that you actually trusted me to tell me about your wandless magic-"

The sharp intakes of breaths from the other enthralled roommates had Hermione sending another pleading look to Lily that went unnoticed in her rage as she continued to pace in front of Hermione like a raging lioness.

"and so when I obviously had no idea what he was talking about, he tried to get away. Of course I jinxed him and then demanded to hear just what in the bloody hell he was talking about and after a few other well placed jinx's he told me everything." Lily finished, her infuriated green eyes burning daggers into Hermiones. "And I mean everything."

A long pause followed as Hermione, trapped between Black and Granger, tried to figure out what she should do next. Tiredly, she sighed and guiltily glanced up at her red headed friend. Lily was obviously waiting in fury for what Hermione would do too.

Making a decision, Hermione twirled around to face the other three people in the room who stood in stock still silence and raised her arm.

"I'm sorry." she said before she flourished her wand and the three dropped down to the ground in a stupor.

"Merlin Hermione! What did you do?" Lily cried running over to the girls as Hermione crouched down next to one of their heads.

"I stupefied them so that I can manipulate their memories. It's a trick I learned from Slughorn a long long time ago." Hermione said simply as she went to work, this time she ignored the probing gaze of Lily.

"I honestly feel like I don't even know you anymore Hermione." Lily said as she plopped down on the ground and ran a hand through her lovely golden red hair.

"Well, you wouldn't have had to feel this way if you would have just let me explain to you all about this calmly and rationally somewhere no one would be able to hear us. But instead, you had to lose your temper again. I can see where Harry gets it from." Hermione chided as she moved on to the next girl, mumbling the last part under her breath. Lily snorted as she threw Hermione a disbelieving look.

"Are you honestly getting mad that I got mad?"

"No, i'm just saying that if you had listened and let me explain-"

"I'm sorry but I can't find the logic in letting you try to weasel yourself out of another explanation because I don't think you would have told me the complete truth, at least not as well as James did."

"Yeah, I'll have to thank James for that..." Hermione mumbled as she levitated each girl onto their beds, missing the grudgingly awed look on Lily's face at Hermione's casual display of power.

Sighing with her gaze on the floor, Hermione knew that Lily was right in all of this. She would have avoided telling her most of the truth and she most certainly was not going to tell Lily about her newest discovery of reawakening... No, she would have kept Lily in the dark as much as she could and she would have continued distancing herself from them in the future, however lonely it would have made her.

"Your right, of course, about this. I haven't been a good friend to you or Severus. You have every reason to be angry with me." Hermione said contritely as Lily stood up and gave Hermione a stern glare.

"I'm not angry I'm furious! To think that James knew all this for years before I did..."

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for them to find out-"

"But, I just don't get why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have gotten upset..."

"Honestly...I had so many things going on that it didn't even occur to me to tell anyone. I'm used to solving problems on my own. But I know I was wrong for pushing you and Sev away. I know from experience that its not a great feeling." Hermione responded, thinking of the many times when Harry would push Hermione and Ron away, especially during fifth year.

"Well I don't forgive you! And if you want my forgiveness your going to have to do a lot of groveling... your punished to Potter status until I feel content that you learned your lesson and wont keep things from your friends." Lily demanded as Hermione un-done her spell and their roommates sluggishly blinked their eyes opened.

"Alright," Hermione responded with a resigned smile.

And for almost a full week, Lily really did give Hermione a terse shoulder. She wouldn't let it go and for any little thing brought it back up. James had apologized profusely to Hermione who was too tired with the whole mess to even be mad at him.

Though Hermione could hardly say that she wasted it. With the absence of watchful eyes, Hermione was more enabled to sneak off to Dumbledore's office of all places where she spent hours reading the books the headmaster had deemed unsuitable for Hogwarts students... Books about the horocrux's.

This is where Hermione was one late night; yawning over a huge tomb on a dark book that was gruesome in the methods of prolonging one's life and horocrux's. Almost every remedy involved some sort of painful sacrifice... one spell involved a system in which a person was to mutilate one's own self or a blood relative to receive years of extra life. Another required a form of pain as payment that said you may brutally pull out others tooth or nails.

For the most part, Hermione was able to shut herself down and just observe the disgusting information but as the hours drew on, she was just getting grumpier and grumpier.

"Tell me again, why in the name of Merlin these books are even in Hogwarts?" Hermione said to her headmaster, who had given full access to the closed off portion of his office to where the books were kept. Dumbledore peered up at Hermione over his half moon glasses.

"I'm afraid that the previous Headmasters where mostly purebloods who grew up in households were dark magic was a prominent and regular ritual used. In ages past all that you've read were child splay for them. Spells that tortured villages with mothers and their children, vicious indescribable curses that left victims little more than what muggles would call 'road kill', now those are the ones that were kept secret and hidden away." Dumbledore said, procuring images into Hermione's mind that left her feeling a little nauseous.

With a distasteful expression, Hermione closed her book, standing from her spot where she sat surrounded by tombs of books and parchments. Flourishing her hand, Hermione once again showed her impressive magical abilities of wordlessly charming her stacks of books into place wandlessly.

Dumbledore went back to pouring over his own parchment that Hermione had given to him. It more or less was an abstract report on Riddle's horocrux's. However, since both parties knew how dangerous it is to people who meddle with time, Hermione had kept most of her knowledge frugally, alluding to a lot of things for Dumbledore to riddle out. It was sweet revenge for her to have him try to un-code her words as she had to do for years with Harry and Ron. She remembered doing the same thing to him when she was 'younger' before they had erased her memories.

Pensively, Hermione walked over to the cabinet that had once held all of her previous memories and had unlocked her own before. Now the cabinet was empty of those vials. It was a given that they be destroyed since such dangerous information could hardly be allowed to be accessed by anyone else in this time, yet, Hermione felt this strange yearning for those little whispy vials. There were still so many things she couldn't remember.

Like the little details of her parents faces, or the splattered freckles of Ron's face, or the color of his eyes in the light of the Gryfinndor fir, or, strangely, the way he would shovel food in his mouth during morning breakfast. The way Harry would constantly be fixing his glasses, or the way he'd look in his Quidditch robes. But most especially she's forgotten their smiles and the sounds of their voices and laughter.

Even before she had come to this place- a huge detail she failed to remember altogether- even before that she still hadn't heard them laugh for a long time. They were always constantly hungry, sleepless and on edge. The last few memories she even had of them were just plan miserable with them always arguing, always wanting to be rid of each other and at the same time wanting the other to care more and do more.

It killed her to know that the last words she said to Ron were the heated biting words of 'why are you always so blood daft' and harry... she hadn't even said a word to him that day. The day that she wished she hadn't remembered but was the source of every action she made.

Hermione's reverie was broken by the hissing of sudden flames and so she twisted in time to see the parchment Dumbledore had been reading shriveling into ashes.

"Everything alright?" Hermione asked much in the same way she always asked after Dumbledore read one of her clues. Dumbledore gave her his infamous twinkling smile.

"All is well Hermione." he said in his usual response. With a nod Hermione picked up her satchel and stuffed her papers deep inside in the storage of her undetectable extension charm.

"Alright, goodnight Professor. I'll come back tomorrow."

"Till then, Hermione I bid a good night. Oh, and I suspect you'll run into some company on your way back to your dorms so do not be alarmed and give that person a viscous taste of your extraordinary power." Dumbledore said with a knowing smile as Hermione peered curiously at the headmaster.

"Oh, who is it?" She asked as Dumbledore fixed her an amused look.

"You will see," he answered mysteriously.

"Right, well sleep well professor." Hermione answered already suspecting that Dumbledore wouldn't give her an answer.

"As do you." he responded making Hermione pause for a moment with her hand on the door knob. She turned her head back to Dumbledore who kept that twinkled look on his face.

"You know, I don't dream anymore Headmaster and I don't know whether that is a curse or a blessing." she confessed as finally Dumbeldore gave her a look that was remorseful and understanding.

"I find that it might be a little bit of both but I would not fret about it Hermione. You will dream again." he responded sincerely.

Hermione threw him a doubtful smile before quickly exiting down the stairs and out the gargoyle entrance. She walked the lonely halls with the lamp lights lightening her way wearily watching out for company. However, even with the warning and her awareness, Hermione was still surprised when a figure quite suddenly pounded into her from the side.

It was a harsh face plant fall that left her stunned for a full minute even with Sirius's barking laugh. Hermione looked around but saw no signs of the culprit until she realized he was under James cloak. A rush of fury ignited in Hermione as she quickly pulled herself and glared into the spot she assumed he was bent over cackling at.

"Sirius!" She hollered, her hands on her waist as he finally pulled away the cloak. His face was pleasantly flushed with his amusement and he was indeed bent slightly over as he laughed. "Really groovy Sirius! Tripping innocent girls like that!"

"I'm... really sorry luv," he said breathlessly as he tried to control his laughter "you just fall so epic, just like when we were kids." he responded with such fondness it made Hermione blush.

"Oh hush up... it really wasn't that funny!" she said though with noticeably less bite.

"Your right, it was brilliant! Just perfect! It's like, everything you do Buttons, you do it with everything you have." Sirius said, stepping suddenly right into her personal space and fondly pulling on her hair. With a frown Hermione pulled her hair away and took a step back.

"You do know that your out way past curfew..." she scolded as she tried to calm her racing heart. For some reason this made Sirius laugh once more and gaze down at her with grey eyes alight.

"Your really one of a kind Hermione. Only you would berate a person for doing the same thing you are doing-"

"No! I was with Dumbledore! See?" she said showing him her pass that he reached out to read. "What, I'm not a liar." she said to him as he gave her a 'I know that' look.

"I was hoping that maybe this little parchment would have the reason why you've been coming back to the dorms in the wee hours of the mornings-"

"It's hardly the wee hours of the morning-"

"Details, Buttons, details. Besides anything past curfew might as well be wee hours-"

"Says the one who sneaks out in the literal wee hours of the mornings with his mates to go frolicking in a forbidden forest-"

"Oi! What you are saying is absolutely a taboo subject Buttons-"

"and is out as we speak without a pass-"

"being a marauder is my rightful pass-"

"-and don't think your little clever ploy of distracting me from my earlier question-"

"Oh like how you've been dodging mine-"

"I just told you I was with Dumbledore so why don't you go ahead and tell me what _your_ doing-"

"But I want to know what you've been doing with Dumbledore and why you've been cold to me."

"Wait," Hermione said, lifting up a hand to stop their little bicker. "have you been spying on me Sirius? Is that what your doing out tonight?"

Sirius's face actually flushed as he opened his mouth to respond before he promptly shut it. A little warm feeling was traveling into Hermione that she couldn't fight as Sirius shifted uncomfortably before determination lined his face.

"Why would you think... er- alright! Fine! I guess you can say I've been doing a form of spying on you." Sirius admitted strangely challenging as that fluttering feeling spread in Hermione. "But that's only because you've been acting suspicious not to mention you've been-... well, things just haven't felt right since... since _that_ night." he said in a strangely serious way.

"Wha-" Hermione opened her mouth to say before Sirius cut her off with a sudden hug.

"No! If I have to spell it out to you then it's not even worth mentioning at all! Just... I'm sorry, yeah?" he said, pulling away from a shocked Hermione and holding her shoulders at arms length as he gazed down at her.

"Er-well, I, um, forgive you?" she said as Sirius whooped and gave a heart pounding smile before hugging her again.

"Great! That's great Buttons!" Sirius said hanging onto her in a way that reminded Hermione of Zero after months apart. She couldn't help but smile and pat his back.

"Alright, alright. I get that your happy." she said as if her own little heart wasn't pounding too. Sirius pulled away again with that same smile and bounced lightly on his feet like an excited puppy.

"Okay, so now you can tell me what you've been doing." he said as Hermione balked and then laughed at him.

"And you call me one of a kind?" she said as Sirius cocked his head at her in this ridiculously cute fashion. "Well, I guess I can tell you..." she said with a shrug as Sirius straightened up alert.

"Oi! What the bloody hell is going on here?" James voice interrupted from the shadows of the hall. Hermione turned in surprise as Sirius groaned. James, followed by Remus and Peter, truly was a sight in his striped Pajamas and comical pink bunny slippers with his hair all mused and his face enraged.

"Oh how I wish I had a camera!" Hermione whispered to from the corner of her mouth to Sirius who gave her an curious look.

"What is a cam-"

"Bloody bastards! Don't ignore me when I'm storming in rage like Evans!" James bellowed as Sirius gave a barking laugh.

"Mate, I say this as nicely as I can but, your ten years too early to even compare to that spit-fire." Sirius said as James came to them. Remus just sighed in the 'oh woes me, i'm surrounded by idiots' fashion.

"Yes, and its really such a bright idea to be making such a racket when Mrs. Norris can be lurking around corners." Hermione said making Remus nod just as James gave her a glare.

"Careful cousin! Or you won't get any of my exceptional help from that abominable creature in a fight or flight situation." James threatened, pointed finger and all.

"Says the one in the pink bunny slippers-" Sirius piped up as James whirled on him.

"Hey! Leave Lily and Evans out of this-"

"You named your pink bunny slippers after Evans?" Remus said in genuine horror as James gave everyone a defensive look.

"I thought it was fitting because of the color of their- wait! this is all besides the point-!"

"-actually I think it's really is a concern-"

"Yeah, we should really talk about this James-"

"What we're all neglecting here is how Sirius is out passed curfew with _Hermione_ of all people!" James bellowed as Peter laughed and Hermione rolled her eyes. Quite suddenly, however, Remus stiffened and cocked his head before reaching out and covering Peter's mouth to stop his loud laughter.

"Shhh I hear someone." Remus ordered before he paled making everyone in the group tense.

"Oh no," Hermione said just as Remus sighed resignedly.

"It's Filch _and_ Mrs. Norris!"

For a moment no one did anything but stare at one another in horror and fear. And then the all took off at the same time as if it was planned down the opposite side of the hallway, back the way Hermione had come from and further from their dorms.

Hermione didn't know if it was from the adrenaline or the hilarious way that James had to run because of his pink bunny slippers, or if it was because of what happened with Sirius earlier or the smile on Remus's face as he reached back and grabbed her hand to help keep up; but Hermione could feel it, joy. She was having fun.

She couldn't help but laugh even though she knew that if they were caught by Filch than it wouldn't be funny at all. It was just being together with all of them running like a couple of bandits from an old man and a cat was giving her such a happy feeling of youth.

Maybe it even felt like coming home, her worries just washed away; especially when Sirius reached out and grabbed her other hand and smiled down with his own light up smile.

They only stopped when they were absolutely sure Mrs. Norris and Filch couldn't catch up to them a whole four flights away and many twist and turns later. They bent over on their knees gasping for breath before Sirius face palmed his forehead and groaned.

"What is it?" James asked in dread as Hermione too face palmed and groaned.

"I left the cloak." Sirius said as Remus groaned and Peter squeaked James just looked at him blandly before he suddenly lunged like a rabid pink bunny at Sirius. They tousled on the floor for a minute as James hissed 'bloody idiot' at him a million times and Sirius was just growling and trying to defend himself that it was a panicked situation.

Hermione turned and gave Remus a bland look as he just gave her an amused smile.

"Do you have to deal with this everyday?" she asked as he nodded solemnly.

"Unfortunately. If I had any idea in our first year that I would turn up this way..." he trailed off as Sirius and James stopped their wrestling for a second to give Remus identical mock expressions of innocence.

"What, we haven't done anything-"

"Yeah, we're complete angels, aren't we Peter-"

"Don't answer that." Remus demanded to the laughing boy who probably couldn't if he tried.

"Boys," Hermione mumbled with an eye roll as the two went right back to wrestling. Without a world she moved away from the group and shifted through her satchel.

"Ahhah!" she said as she took out her wand triumphantly before pointing it with flourish. "_Accio_ Invisibility Cloak!" Hermione ordered before tucking her wand onto her person as all the guys looked at her with shock.

"What?"

"Oh, sorry." Remus said as James just shook his head and Sirius gave her an appraising look that made her blush. Peter just stayed gaping at her in that Peter way of his. "It's just that I guess we all forget sometimes just how brilliant you are."

Face inflamed, Hermione diverted the attention by turning to the sound of the rushing cloak and holding out her hand to grab it. She then walked back over to James and held it out to him to take, which he did still shaking his head.

"You know, I think we should take you out with us more often-" he said before he was interrupted by Sirius's obnoxious nah! Hermione rounded on him again with her hands on her hips.

"And why not-"

"Your brilliant Hermione, and that's precisely why you can't come along because with you, there'd be no fear of getting caught and that would take half the fun out of what we do-"

"Speak for yourself," Remus said as he came up beside Hermione as Sirius glared at him. "What? Your the only one mad enough to think that getting caught is actually _fun_."

"Actually Moony, I kind of-"

"Your excluded James because your mad too." Remus interrupted swiftly just as Peter's stomach gave a low and loud rumble that suddenly jostled all of their stomachs.

"Soooo, anyone up for going to the kitchens?" James asked as all the boys laughed and Hermione sighed and shook her head.

"Honestly, why do boys have to eat twenty four seven?"

"Buttons, Buttons Buttons," Sirius said with an expression of having the upper hand as he flung an arm around her shoulders. "You see, men like us, we do quite a bit of strenuous exercise that really depletes ones energy and the only way to regain that energy is to eat large quantities of delicious junk food that clogs our systems and in Peter's case, causes bad gas." he said in a completely reasonable tone as they walked down the hallway.

"Hey! I don't get gas!" Peter cried as James turned to Hermione and very seriously said 'his farts are worse than dungbombs.'

"It's science Hermione." Sirius continued making Hermione give him a very surprised look.

"You know what science is Sirius?" Hermione asked as Remus gave a small chuckle that drew her attention. Sirius shot the werewolf a glare as he squeezed Hermione closer to regain her attention.

"Why, of course I know what science is luv! I am Sirius Black after all."

"How does he know, Remus?" Hermione asked to the wolf making Sirius pout cutely. Remus smirked kind of evilly at his pouting friend as he answered Hermione.

"Some sixth year muggleborn came up to him and told him that the chemistry between them was perfect and when Sirius had no idea what chemistry was, she told him it was science and when he had no idea what science was, she explained to him that it was a subject taught in muggle schools and then Sirius wanted an in depth explanation that took almost an hour. It was quite hilarious really-the whole confession part of the interaction was completely lost in all of the explaining."

"Who knew that learning the laws of attraction could be so enlightening." Sirius said with a shrug as they walked into the kitchens.

"Food!" Peter howled as hey bounded through the throng of house elves in the kitchens. James and Remus laughed as Sirius turned a grinning face to her. Shamefully, Hermione's heart picked up a little at his beauty, his stunning face with jet black hair that fell into gorgeous light eyes and his perfect white teeth. It was the kind of face that you could just continue to stare at for all its beautiful features.

"Welcome to my favorite place in Hogwarts." he said beaming as Hermione shook her head. "Though if you took me to your bedroom I'll make this my second." he said with a wink as Hermione scoffed.

"Oh yes, I'll do that. And I'm sure that Lily would just love that idea as well. She wouldn't hex you into an unrecognizable pile of mush or scream at you until your ears bleed at all. Why it's such a splendid idea that we should go no-"

"Alright then, fiend. There's no need for low blows, I was only teasing." Sirius said, putting some space between them as Hermione giggled.

All their attention reverted back to James at the loud sound of a plate crashing. Curiously, James stared wide eyed at Hermione with a blushing face.

"Er, James?"

"Oi! You just wasted a perfectly good pumpkin cupcake!" Peter shouted, as the house elves all scrambled to clean it up and offering him a new one.

"Moony, why is James blushing like he just saw Evans in her knickers when hes looking at Hermione?" Sirius asked seriously to Remus as Remus just shrugged and eyed James. James for his part was furiously blushing and running his hands through his hair.

"It's nothing," he said, in a slighting higher pitched tone than usual.

"It better have nothing to do with Buttons James or we might have to tousle." Sirius said as Hermione rolled her eyes and then pinched James until he yelped.

"Ow, you viscous little pixie! That bloody hurt!" James yelled, rubbing his arm as Hermione crossed her arms.

"As it should!" Hermione said as Sirius turned to Moony again.

"Moony, why did Hermione pinch James?" He asked seriously as Remus just shrugged again and now eyed Hermione. Hermione huffed as she turned back to the other two.

"Honestly, isn't it obvious? James had forgotten that I share a dorm with Lily and so now he was obviously fantasizing and her and thinking of all the ways he can use being my legal cousin to see Lily in her knickers... not to mention he's envisioning all the times I've seen Lily in the privacy of the dorms." Hermione stated as James just got redder and redder.

"Oi! Get out of my head!" he bellowed, making the house elves flinch as Remus and Sirius gave Hermione appraising looks.

"What, are you a bloody seer now too, Hermione?" Sirius asked making Hermione give him a bland 'don't be an idiot' look.

"I'll have you know that I would never waste my time with something so outlandish as Divination. If you all just observed a little more then you would have all seen how obvious it is that that was what he was thinking." she stated before realizing that the boys weren't even listening to her anymore. Frustrated, Hermione went over to a nearby table and sat down, accepting a cup of tea that one of the house elves eagerly poured for her.

"You know James, I kind of like where your mind is at." Sirius said, coming over to his fellow marauder and throwing his arms over James shoulder as they shared identical leering grins. Remus for his part was standing there sort of pensively as Peter shoveled cakes down his throat observing everyone.

"Yeah, we could sneak up there like how we did in our first year... or was it second?" James said, his face scrunching in thought as he tried to remember before he shrugged if off.

"Not important mate, I think we could manage to get up there again if we take our brooms like we did when we saw Buttons naked..."

"Whoa, hold on. You two saw Hermione naked?" Remus asked as Peter squeaked and turned his eyes onto Hermione who blushed and cut in before the boys could answer.

"I would hardly say that they saw me naked since they were only there for two seconds! And it was purely their fault if they did! Since these two that it would be a good idea to bust through the dorm window to my room on their brooms in our **first** year!" Hermione said hotly, giving the two smirking boys a glare.

"Yeah, those were the days, right Sirius?" James sighed wistfully as Remus laughed and Sirius wistfully nodded.

"Yeah, I definitely will look back on it fondly when Buttons here is lying naked by my side as the very first time I say her small pin-"

"Dont you dare Sirius Black!" Hermione hissed threateningly as Remus and James all backed away from the oblivious Sirius. "Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

"Oh, lighten up Buttons! They were hardly anything to get defe-" but with an outraged cry, Hermione flicked her hand and sealed shut Sirius mouth.

For a moment no body moved and Hermione just stood there breathing heavy with anger as Sirius wide eyed, tried to open his mouth.

"You know what, you kind of deserve that one Sirius old pal. Only because it was so obvious that you do not say something like that to Hermoine's face." James said making Hermione throw him a sharp warning glare as she huffily sat back down. Remus just silently chucked Sirius on the back of his head as Peter quickly shoved some more food down his mouth.

"By the way, Hermione, you seem far less surprised by this place than you ought to be..." James said as he gave her accusing glances from behind his bespectacled eyes. Hermione just rolled her eyes, still in her coiled tight position as Remus took a seat in front of her and accepted some chocolates.

"Did you really think you guys were the only ones who found this place?" Hermione said with a sarcastic rude face as James pouted. In the back round, Sirius threw up his hands in defeat of trying to unseal his lips and pulled over a chair to sit himself besides Hermione as James came over and pulled a different chair on the other side of her.

"Actually, I thought we were." James said pridefully as Hermione rolled her eyes.

"And the Hufflepuffs whose commons rooms are almost right next to this place, did you think that maybe none of them have discovered this place long before you four?"

"Well of course not. Hufflepuffs are hardly brilliant enough to pull of discovering anything let alone this sacred trove." James said with an arrogant swing of his head that mused his hair.

"That is so typical of you James to assume that about Hufflepuffs! You'll hardly be bewitching Lily with an attitude like that when meanwhile a Hufflepuff who 'is hardly brilliant enough' is wooing Lily as we speak!"

"WHAT!" James bellowed, his chair clattering loudly to the floor as he stood. Calmly, Hermione took a sip of her tea that James almost slouched down her front as he hastily grabbed her arm and fell to his knees.

"Oh please! You've got to tell me who it is Herms! Please-!" James begged as Remus shamefully covered his eyes and Sirius mutely pointed and laughed at his mate. With mock disgust, Hermione glared down her nose at the desperate boy.

"I most certainly do not especially if you call me that disgusting name-"

"Hermione! Hermione I mean! Oh please tell me-"

"Oh alright!" Hermione relented, not having the heart to watch him grovel. "Its Benji Fenwick! And I'll have you know that Benji is-"

"Moony, is Benji Fenwick that tosser in Sixth year? The one we hexed to burp pink bubbles in our second year and he ran like a little girl to McGon on us?" James asked Moony, similar to the way that Sirius did when he wasn't hexed into silence.

"Yes, James. That is him." Remus answered tiredly as James immediately banged his fists on the table.

"Well that is entirely unacceptable!" James bellowed as Remus sighed.

"And what pray tell is unacceptable James? Because I'm rather sure that Lily is entitled to like whom ever she chooses-"

"Yeah, but not that little pus-" James started before Hermione shot him a glare.

"Don't finish that sentence Potter, not unless you want a taste of what your mate has there." Hermione said pointing at Sirius. Taking a deep breath, James managed to pick up his chair and huffily sit on it backwardly. Pouting he gazed at Sirius with an irritated expression.

"Your right, Sirius old pal. We definitely can't have this one as a marauder!" James said as Sirius nodded seriously and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Oh honestly, you make being a marauder sound like your ruler of the land. All you ever do is just get yourselves into trouble and do things that annoy others."

"Yes! But its so much more than that! Isn't that right Peter? Remus? It's like a passage to the ultimate coolness! Everyone wants to be like us, and all the females can't get enough and we're even smart! You know, I'm really beginning to wonder if your really a human at all Hermione... I think your were born wrong, you should be a book or something..." James said as Remus smacked his head but surprisingly Hermione laughed, a genuine, actual belly laugh that kind of made the rest of the marauders just kind of... pause and stare.

Hermione stopped laughing though, feeling slightly awkward at their stares when she noticed them staring.

"What? Is there something on my face?" she asked self consciously making the boys snap out of it.

"Er..." Peter mumbled, blushing and looking away.

"No, its just that...well..." James started before giving up, shrugging when Sirius shot him an accusing glare (jealously that James got Hermione to laugh like that)

"You've never laughed so freely before." Remus said with his own little blush that made Sirius pause and stare at his friend who awkwardly looked away.

"Oh," Hermione said, feeling strangely shy. Sirius then started gesturing wildly to his mouth making Hermione narrow her eyes at him for a second.

"What Sirius? Or right," she said, flicking her hand and thinking the counter spell to her stick charm.

"Oh sweet Merlin's underpants!" Sirius sighed when he could finally speak. "Finally! I did not like that!"

"Oh, that's too bad cause we certainly did." Remus said with a joking little smirk as Sirius flicked him off.

"Anyway, I just remembered something Buttons!" Sirius said leaning heavily on his elbows to peer closely into her eyes.

"What?" Hermione asked, moving back slightly with his proximity.

"You never answered my question!"

"You ask me a lot of questions Sirius-" Hermione started before Sirius cut her swiftly off.

"The one about what you were doing with Dumbyshorts!" Sirius said drawing the attention uncomfortably to Hermione.

"Well, I was aware that I did tell you-"

"Now that you mention it, I had forgot the whole reason that we came out here in the first place!" James interrupted before glaring at Sirius and Hermione. "Why is that you two were out past curfew anyway?"

"It's Buttons fault since she's been coming back late every night from Dumbyshorts office. I was just following her." Sirius said as they all then turned their piercing gaze onto Hermione.

"So you admit that you were following me." Hermione said making Sirius shrug.

"Not the point now is it Button face? Your not getting out of forking up the truth this time." Hermione sighed but inwardly she had already prepared a lie to deliver to the perceptive boys. One that might even be able to fool Remus's werewolf abilities.

"It's really obvious though, isn't it. I've been with Dumbledore in regards to all the strange things that have been happening to me in hopes that we can brain storm some solutions." Hermione said, being un-noticeably vague as the boys listened with serious expressions.

"You mean... with your magic?" Remus asked, his face curiously frowning as he cocked his head.

"Among other things..." Hermione responded flippantly as the other three looked curiously between the two.

"Wait, what other things?" Sirius asked, leaning into her personal space again making Hermione huff.

"Just things! It's personal!" Hermione retorted defensively crossing her arms and glaring at Sirius who simply blinked at her in shock for her harsh tone.

"It's okay Buttons," Sirius said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. "It's just chatter among best mates. We're not gonna send you to Azkaban or anything."

"Yeah, we're just concerned since we know your circumstance is..." James started before trailing off.

"Different, kind of like mine..." Remus picked back up as Sirius and James chuckled and Hermione smiled, hoping the burning behind her eyes wouldn't turn into tears.

"This hardly compares to your furry little problem Moony." James said as Remus rolled his eyes with a smile.

"That's why I said kind of... just forget I said that. What I meant is that your magic has a need for caution like my monthly... problem-" Remus said before Sirius cut him off.

"Exactly, and we wanna make sure that your alright." Sirius said making Hermione smile even more and her eyes water slightly.

"Thanks." she said with a slightly hoarse voice. "Really. You can't imagine how much that means." To be accepted, to be cared for, to know that people, not only Lily or Severus or Dumbledore, but Remus, James and Sirius... that they actually liked her that much.

She didn't know why she was surprised. Why her heart suddenly felt like it was gonna burst or why she kept seeing in her mind a twelve year old Harry and Ron and feeling so much fondness.

She just knew that she was grateful and happy for one single night of peace.

A/N: Alright! Comments? Concerns? Review! To be honest, this chapter turned out way differently than I would have thought but I'm happy with it. To those who requested more Sirius moments (not serious;) I did as much as I could without ruining what I want to happen in Hermione's fourth year. This is where Hogwarts years will start to take where more chapters to complete. So you can expect fourth year, fifth year, sixth year and beyond to all kind of be longer... Anywho... Thank you all for your reviews last time! I'm sorry I haven't PM anyone but I just finished taking a Final exam for one of my classes and I got one more and then I promise, I'll devote more time to you and the stories!

Until then! I bid you all Good day!


	14. Food Fight

Hermione nestled herself in a far off region of the castle, a blank piece of parchment lying in front of her, her hand poised with an inked quill. Though this was a typical position to find her in, something seemed a little...off about Hermione. It was her eyes, brown eyes whirling with such a mixture of emotions as she gazed down at the parchment. And then her hand started to tremble, along with her bottom lip as tears pooled in her eyes.

With frustration- and maybe a bit of hysteria- Hermione threw down the quill and let out a sob, running her hands into her thick mane of hair. Behind her lids, images kept running through her mind one after the other after the other.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no" Hermione cried to herself as her eyes started to glow along with her mouth, and her body started to levitate slightly off the chair. "No!" but her cry went shrill at the end, like a bird song, as the white light poured out of her and she was flooded again with the misery of her past.

An hour later, Hermione shaking and pale faced, exited the room of requirement with a long scroll of parchment clutched inside her hand. Swiftly, she made her way through the candle lit hallways, her footsteps silenced with a spell and a disillusionment charm on herself in case someone else was roaming inside the halls. She'd also taken the precaution of putting an untraceable charm on herself so the marauders map wouldn't detect her late night endeavors.

She moved without falter but her breathing and heart were erratic, her core obviously shaken. When she came to the empty defense against the dark arts classroom, Hermione wasted no time and went right to the front of the room where the teacher would lecture and started sifting through the things. She came out victorious with an empty jar in her hand that she quickly stuffed her scroll into.

Like a thief in the night, Hermione exited the classroom and moved once again down long corridors and moving stair cases to her destination. The Headmaster's office.

"Merry Elves pastries." Hermione said to the golden Gargoyle statue that sighed at her before moving aside.

Wordlessly, Hermione entered the Headmaster's office. It no longer came as a surprise to her to find the wizard always ready and expecting her with pastry treats and tea.

"Good evening to you Hermione. I daresay you have prepared for me another riveting riddle to unlock?" The headmaster asked redundantly as Hermione placed her parchment on his desk.

"Yes professor," she said before rubbing her throbbing temples. "I think you'll find this information tonight to be most useful."

When her words warranted no response, Hermione raised her gaze to her headmaster and was startled by the expression on his face. Forlorn with a mixture of grief.

"Headmaster?" Hermione asked uncertainly as Dumbledore held her gaze.

"I am sorry Hermione. It is just disheartening that the wizarding youth such as yourself hold such heavy burdens. I had only hoped when I took the headmasters position that my students would not have to face the heavy exhaustion I just saw on your face. I had only hoped that they would enjoy the feelings of youth while they roamed these halls before they faced the cruelty of the world..." Dumbledore replied with a face full of sincerity.

For a moment, Hermione was blown by the emotion Dumbledore was showing her. It was something she was most certainly not used to, and it made her feel a little uncomfortable, but then her compassion took hold her and she knew she couldn't leave Dumbledore with a feeling a failure.

"Headmaster, your students now, don't wear the faces of exhaustion and it is my sole purpose to ensure that they never will. It is the only reason why I am here and I know that together we will change the future for the better." Hermione replied as Dumbledore's blue eyes turned faintly glassy. Looking away, Hermione allowed Dumbledore his moment.

"Thank you." He said as Hermione smiled and turned back to look into twinkling blue eyes. "You are truly a kind girl." he said making Hermione puff with the praise before a small sliver of guilt trickled through her.

"Professor, I'm afraid that the riddle isn't the only reason I came here tonight." Hermione said grimly as Dumbledore sat straighter in his chair and peered at her over his half moon glasses.

"Oh?" he started curiously as Hermione looked away and bit her lip "And what is this news?"

"In my vision tonight I saw one of the seven Riddle's and it was here, in Hogwarts castle in the Room of Requirement." Hermione started knowing Dumbledore knew full well what one of the seven Riddle's meant from his serious almost vehement expression. "So I went of course to see if it was truly there and received quite a shock when it wasn't." Hermione said, clasping her hands in front of her to stop their shaking as she felt tears well in her eyes.

"What could that mean Headmaster? It wasn't there! I scoured all over the place and went through everything I could touch and it wasn't there! Does it then mean that all the others aren't where they're supposed to be either?" feeling her panic rise, Dumbledore quickly stood up and went over to lay a hand on Hermione's shoulder as she shook like a leaf.

"Hermione-" Dumbledore started only to be caught off as Hermione stood and started pacing around his office with frantic eyes.

"You don't understand professor... If its not there then that could only mean that everything has changed! It means that all my knowledge of the future and my being here is for naught because nothing is the way it was before I went back in time! What if they aren't even what they were in the future? Or what if his plans have changed and he hasn't made them but is doing something else entirely? What if-"

"Hermione," Dumbledore spoke but this time in a voice that was entirely different than before. It made Hermione freeze entirely and commanded her attention. "I believe that your distraught is the only thing for naught. I have belief that your being here is not a down fall but a matter of fate even if it has changed the future that you come from. I am sure just as you said earlier that it will be you and I together that will keep Voldemort from rising any further. If the seven Riddles prove to be nothing than you and I will find out what other games he plays this time." he said with such conviction it stunned Hermione.

With a shaky breath, Hermione sat back down and tried to quell her stretched tight nerves.

"Your right... I-I have to learn to not lose my head so much...It's just I thought so much that we finally had the upper hand-"

"We might still, Hermione. Your information has not proven false or true just yet, there are still arrangements that need to be made and luckily time is on our side."

"But I need to know now Professor! I should infiltrate-" Hermione started, raising her head to gaze at Dumbledore who immediately shut her down with his piercing gaze.

"I will not have you do that just yet, Hermione. You are not yet prepared and I'm afraid I am not even ready for you to do that quite yet. The order needs a stronger foundation and assemble. I will also need extensive information before we even dare set you foot into those ranks." he said in a tone that left absolutely no room for argument.

"But I will infiltrate right?" Hermione said, eyeing the wizard with a probing observant gaze, and taking in his reluctant and protective air. "You know it can only be me! I am the only one who can go in and find out for sure to put an end to everything! I'm the only one who knows what to look for and you can't tell anyone else or that will definitely screw everything up! And I need to do this Dumbledore!" she said relentlessly, not liking the indecipherable look in Dumbledore's eyes.

"I assure you that I am aware Hermione." Dumbledore said in a way that was meant to put the subject at rest.

At least for now.

* * *

Hermione could feel it coursing through her veins. Her blood. It pulsed with an enraged fervor with her beating heart drumming in her ears. As if trapped; as if trying to break free.

Something... something was trying to break free from her and it wasn't something pretty. It was heavy and angry, powerful and sure.

It propelled her through the dark empty halls and surrounded her like an entity. It gave her thoughts and feelings that pushed down the panic she had felt earlier in Dumbledore's office and turned it into something useful; it made the terrible feeling she felt being so easily shot down by him, just simply go away and replaced with...something else.

She didn't question it, and she didn't try to swallow it away.

She went to release it.

She smirked at nothing as she made her way outside in a swimming, dreamlike state, the jar holding only a simple scroll levitating without any effort from Hermione behind her. The jar with the scroll that had four little words written on it...

Four little words she would make sure no one else would ever see.

She strode without needing to be cautious out in the dark grounds, her steps sure and never faltering. When she came to the lake, she stopped just on the edge, her eyes on the surface, the jar just flouting behind her.

Quick and strong, the jar flew past her and towards the middle of the lake before it plummeted beneath the surface with a quiet, barely even there, splash.

And just as abruptly, Hermione fell heavily onto her knees, her heart hammering in her chest. She could hear nothing over the drumming in her ears, could feel nothing but the unleashed emotion building inside her like a volcano waiting to explode.

She gasped, her body arching as she howled into the night; a long sharp cry, unhinged and piercing.

It was powerful, it was beastly.

It was her magic.

She could feel it...like another entity, like a ghost overtaking her. From her fist, to her feet, down her spine, through her ribs, in her heart, from her lungs...

It was more than a reawakening, it was a breath of life. A gasp of chilling air...

In the castle, standing tall in the darkness, Dumbledore stood by the window over looking the dark grounds. His expression was unreadable as he read the electric air, as he pondered his own thoughts.

Miles upon miles away, Voldemort stilled from where he sat alone... a movement so slight and short it almost didn't seem to happen. Like a tree falling without any ears to hear its sound. This stillness lasted for only but a second before he strode on long legs to a place known only to himself...

And sweating, shaking, Hermione recovered...closed her mouth to end the howl that escaped her, took another breath and opened her eyes, promptly stood up and trudged back to the castle, quickly coming to forget why she was even outside.

* * *

Hermione's body felt heavy as she blinked her sleeping eyes in the light of day. She wondered why she felt like a millions pounds before she remembered the previous night in Dumbledore's office where she revealed the disturbing news of the missing horocrux. She had no doubts that despite Dumbledore assuring words that the diadem not being in the Room of Requirement meant that all was to hell in that respect.

Through her panic, however, she knew what she would do. If at first you don't succeed... then try and try again. There was no time for thoughts of failure, her current and future friends relied on her pulling herself together. She had a back up plan, no matter how dangerous it was.

She will just have to infiltrate Voldemorts ranks and she will use her brilliance to find the new horocrux's and then she could finally take him down. Because she knew that no matter what, Riddle had still had to have made horocurx's. Her appearance in the past might have changed somethings that she thought were definite but it would not have changed that, it was just a matter of finding out what and where they were.

She couldn't care less if Dumbledore agreed with her or not, though it helped when he had. When it came to protecting her friends anyone who stood in her way, the minister, the teachers and even Dumbledore could all just snuff it.

Hermione sighed and moved to get up from her bed... but her body didn't even budge a millimeter.

"What?" Hermione mumbled as she pulled and pulled, her head a confused jumble as she went cross eyed trying to see what was restraining her to her bed; a futile effort.

Panicking, Hermione struggled even fiercer to get up to no avail, managing to only make strange little huffing sounds as she exerted herself.

"Lily!" Hermione hissed in hopes to catch the attention of her red headed friend through their bed curtains. "Lily! Lily! Help me!" she called as she could hear her friend's confused, sleep ridden mumbles.

Moaning, Hermione struggled again before sucking in a deep breath.

"LILY GET UP!" She hollered, successfully startling all her dorm mates into wakefulness.

"Huh, Hermione? Are you- what the..." Lily's drowsy voice started before turning sharp with surprise.

"What in the world?" Maggy, their other dormmate cried over her friend Emma's "Huh? Huh? Huh? What is going on?"

"Hermione, I'm stuck to my bed!" Lily cried as Hermione gasped.

"Me too! How in the world did this happen?" she asked over the loud panic shrieking of their other two room mates that woke up their third room mate, Abbey.

"Okay, I'm going to try not to panic." Lily said with a shaking voice as she took a breath so loud it was audible to Hermione.

"It's okay Lily, I think I can undo this..." Hermione responded as her rational nature took over. Taking a breath, Hermione focused her mind on her wand, its color, design and the weight of it in her hands and thought Accio! in her mind.

Not a heart beat later she could hear the rustling of the bed curtain, and then the smooth wood of her wand was in her hand. Hermione smiled at her success in a highly pleased manner than she was able to Accio her own wand. That smile quickly faded though as she thought of how to undo their sticky situation.

She knew it was a sticking charm so she tried the counter curse, and was terribly disappointed.

"Lily, I don't know why but the counter curse to the sticking charm isn't working!" Hermione cried; a loud moan was Lily's response.

"What the bleeding hell!" her spit-fire friend retorted angrily. "I just don't get how this is happening!"

"I don't kn-" Hermione started to say before a loud boom cut her off making Maggy and Emma scream with the sound.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Lily cried as Hermione strained her hand to peek her wand through the curtains.

The next second the door to their room opened, much to Hermione's horror. Fear made her breath come in shallow gasps but she mentally prepared herself for a fight, thinking of spell.

But it was all for naught when the next second an unexpected voice spoke.

"It worked! I can't believe it worked!"

"James?!" Hermione called with relief.

"POTTER?" Lily hollered.

"Er, Hi Lily! Oof!" James nervous till was cut off as the sound of him hitting the floor reached Hermione's ears.

"Oh sorry James." Sirius's voice said sounding anything but sorry.

"Bloody hell Sirius."

"Sirius!" Hermione called in confusion.

"BLACK!" Lily cried with rage.

"Hey there Lily flower!" Sirius responded merrily as a scuffle sounded with Sirius mumbling 'I said I was sorry mate!' to an irate sounding James.

"GET OUT!" Lily screamed instantly making the two boys stop whatever they were doing. "GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"But Lily!-"

"DONT SAY ANOTHER WORD POTTER!" Lily screamed and Hermione could imagine his flinch.

"Now Lily, there's no need-"

"SHUT UP AND GET OUT AND GET US SOME HELP YOU BLOODY USE-"

"Actually Lily luv, we're are your help..."

"-LESS!...Wait what?"

"Yeah, we heard your screaming and decided to help you since everybody else is already in the Great Hall for breakfast."

Hermione chose this moment to intervene before Lily started yelling again.

"Well, there is just one problem. We're stuck to the bed and I have no idea how because its obviously not a sticking charm since I tried the counter curse, so It's got to be something else that somehow is making us stick to our beds like possibly a sticking paste-" Hermione started, her rambling musings

"Hermione, you think too much." Sirius said as he grandly shoved her curtains aside and smiled down at her with a self satisfied beaming grin.

Hermione cringed on the inside as her face flamed with the heat of her embarrassment. She knew she was definitely not a sight for sore eyes in her mused up state, her hair a bushy mess all around her and her hands thrown over her head in her sleep, her legs all tangled. It was far from a delicate sleeping pose.

She could barely hear Lily screaming her head off at James from the bed besides hers as Sirius's gaze ran over her. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, making her chest rise and fall rapidly as he simply smirked from above her.

"I know declare this my favorite spot in Hogwarts, seeing you hear like this is way better than sneaking down to the kitchens." he said with a cat caught the canary grin that made her heart try to escape from her chest.

"Sirius-"

"You really sleep quite interesting Buttons, like your trying to do a pirouette." Sirius said, cocking his head to the side as he examined her, making his black hair fall into his eyes.

"Sirius! Stop messing around!" Hermione cried with anger and embarrassment. "I need to get to class some time today! You have no idea the amount of work I will have to-"

"Oh pipe it down Buttons. I'm only playing with you. Though if you'd like we can both just say to hell with class today and stay right here in this bed mak-"

"Sirius Black! Your like what? Fourteen! Don't say things like that or I'll hex you!" Hermione cried mortified as Sirius threw back his head and laughed his barking laugh.

"You know, your fourteen too, and last I checked your the one trapped to the bed, I was just offering friendly company-" Sirius started as Hermione glared at him.

"Oh what a feisty look you got there Buttons...are you sure you wanna be giving glares like that when your in such a position?"

"Are you sure you wanna go making threats when there's a lion at your back?" Hermione retorted hotly as Sirius gave her an amused confused face.

"Wha-"

"Let her up Sirius." Lily's deadly voice said as she trained her wand directly behind his head.

"Ah, blast! It's Lily! Why did that fool have to undo you first?" Sirius huffed as Lily glared at him with an evil smile.

"I think you have something else you should be worrying about, like my wand and all the horrifying spells i'm envisioning casting on you if you don't get Hermione out of that bed in five seconds." she hissed.

"Are you sure Lily, cause I'm thinking the three of us could have some fun-"

"Black, I wouldn't say another word if I were you. I'm furious enough as it is and I don't fancy going to Azkaban for murdering you before I at least get a full education." she retorted, pressing her wand to the back of his head as he gulped and hastily reached into his pocket.

"Right then. There you are. Your free Buttons. All is well when ends well... Or something like that, Right Lily? So no murdering me alright!" Sirius said as he flicked his wand and mumbled something underneath his breath making Hermione free.

"I made no such promises Black. You and Potter have some explaining to do." she said with her wand still trained on Sirius as Hermione happily stood up from her bed, her wand still in her hand as she realized the conclusion Lily had drawn. Immediately she too trained her wand onto Sirius who gulped and took a step back, almost falling on Hermione's bed.

"Buttons? Et tu?" he asked dramatically as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh hush! Do you honestly believe that we would fall for your lies Sirius? It's so obvious that you and James planned this especially since you guys talked about doing this very same thing in front of me only three days ago." Hermione said as Lily trained her wand on James who had just finished getting the rest of the girls in the dorm off the bed.

"Er..."

"What do you say Hermione? Should we hex their hair off? Oh! No! How about we douse them with honey and then set a hole bunch of Pixie's on them!"

"Oh You are just too cruel!" James cried as Sirius ran to James and cowered behind him with feigning sobs. Shaking her head at their childish antics.

"Actually Lily, I have the perfect idea." Hermione said before turning sharply and flicking her wand at the horrified boys.

"Brilliant!" Lily cried as the two shot up into the air by their ankles.

"Buttons! Let us down!"

"Hermione! Please!"

Enjoying the malicious thrill of revenge, Hermione smirked in their direction and let lose a flock of canaries at them as they screamed.

"Oh wow!" Lily breathed at Hermione's impressive display of magic as she watched the birds attack the two as they cried and begged for help. Wide eyed, Lily turned to her with an awed look and a little bit of mischievousness. "Promise you'll teach me that."

"Of course!" Hermione responded as she ignored James and Sirius desperate apologetic cries and gathered her belongings to get ready for the day.

"That will teach you Potter! Black!" Lily taunted making Hermione smile at the spit-fire girl. "Lets see if you ever try to pull a fast one on us again! And that is a total misuse of school brooms! You aren't supposed to go up the girls stair cases on them! Honestly Potter, I thought you of all people would have more respect. But what I'm forgetting who I'm talking to. James Potter have respect for anyone other than himself? Impossible! Honestly who-"

Shutting the bathroom door on Lily's ranting, Hermione brushed her teeth and changed her clothes. A minute later letting down the red faced boys with Lily still lecturing them even as they hurried away from the room with their tails tucked between their legs.

Because of the marauders little prank, Hermione and Lily started the day without breakfast and late to class much to their chagrin. Besides this hiccup, the day passed relatively without any issues. The prank obviously had gained much attention and the marauders drank it all up even with the glares Lily shot at them. Of course, the marauder pranks were nothing new to the school, a more memorable one being when they pranked the entire Slytherin table to make animal sounds whenever they tried to speak.

However, for James and Sirius to prank Hermione and receive punishment for it had the two boys...subdued slightly around her. Sure, she had mildly punished them when they did their usual annoying pranks like when they took the time to vandalize all her books with various pictures or doodles really that showed the floor flying on the quidditch field or when they obnoxiously pulled the many pranks that involved her hair but this... sticking the girls onto their beds just so they could go into the girls dorms.

Hermione shook her head at their audacity and then giggled as she remembered Sirius and Jame's faces as they hung from their ankles.

"What a self satisfied smirk you got their Hermione." Remus said playfully as he suddenly appeared next to her. Looking up at the rather tall skinny boy, Hermione couldn't help but smile.

"Just relishing in justice being served." Hermione responded as Remus nodded his head in understanding.

"Ah, yes! Heard all about that from Lily in Divination today. Wouldn't stop laughing at how red James face was. I do believe this is the second time you've done that to the pitiful chap." Remus said as Hermione huffed.

"Well if he wasn't such a prat..." Hermione trailed off with a shrug. "I can only ignore so much."

"Can't say I blame you... Merlin knows if he pulled half the things he does to your lot what I would do... Oh wait, actually he has done that to me..." Remus responded as Hermione smiled.

"I just can't understand why you put up with them Remus!" she said making a rather uncharacteristic smirk form on the wolfs face. It made Hermione's heart skip a beat at the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"I never said I was entirely innocent... I do like to get even in very creative ways." he responded as Hermione blushed slightly.

"I'll have to remember that Remus... and here I thought thinking you and Peter were innocents in all this!" Hermione said as Remus ducked his head down at her as his grin deepened.

"You should know better than to judge a book by its cover Hermione. I'm rather surprised myself at your rather creative way of extracting justice. I mean a flock of ravenous canaries...who would have thought!" Remus said with a laugh as he pushed open the Great Hall doors for her.

"It warrants a fast and efficient response, very gratifying." Hermione stated matter of factly making Remus laugh as they walked to the Gryffindor table. Enjoying the refreshed look on Remus's face, Hermione just smiled at him. She had been worried for the werewolf after the full moon but it seemed like he was alright, a little too skinny but alright. It relieved her.

"Oi! What's so funny over there!" Sirius cried from the table, earning a few curious looks from those sitting around them as Hermione plopped down at a seat diagonal to his and Remus took one next to her.

"Your mug looking face you mangy mutt!" Remus retorted quickly as Sirius pouted and grabbed his heart dramatically.

"How could you Remus, all the times you whispered to me at night how beaut-" Sirius started as Remus threw a chicken leg at him, Hermione rolled her eyes, and the others around them chuckled at his antics.

"Eh! I've told you before Sirius to keep your fantasies to yourself! Especially when they're involving me!" Remus said as Sirius flipped him off.

"Screw you Moony! I'll remember this the next time you ask me to hold you under the romantic full moon sky-" But with a growl Remus launched a spoonful of mashed potatoes right into Sirius's face and hair.

"Go bald Black!"

"Oi! That's a low blow, Moony! You know how I feel about my hair!" Sirius cried indignantly as he picked out the food in his hair and Remus laughed a rather evil cackle. His laugh was cut off however, when Sirius launched some spinach into his laughing mouth making the wolf choke and spit out the stuff with a disgusted look on his face making Sirius howled with laughter.

With rising apprehension, Hermione narrowed her eyes on the two boys.

"You two bet-" but her words were lost as Moony wiped out his wand still coughing up the spinach and levitated a whole bowl of sauteed carrots over Sirius's head.

"Oh no! Oh no! Okay this needs to sto-" Hermione started before Sirius stood hazardously from his seat.

"Oh it is on!" He cried picking up his half eaten plate and feigning throwing it at Remus before launching it at James on his opposite side. The chaser, not expecting a face full of half eaten chicken and potatoes chocked and spluttered before immediately turning to grab the nearest object which happened to be a jug of grape juice and poured it over the undeserving Peter.

"FOOD FIGHT!" He screamed.

And havoc ensued marauder style.

Hermione, horrified, immediately threw up a shield charm to protect herself from the fray and scrambled out of harms way, screaming at the stupid boys as all around them people started throwing food. Teachers started yelling and standing from their spots and Dumbledore just sat with that merry look on his face before with a laugh, he popped a lemon drop into his mouth, leaned back and watched the madness unfold.

The chaos lasted for maybe a minute but it was enough. Most were standing and throwing food laughing with joy, while prissy girls like the M&M coward underneath the table and cried about getting gravy in their hair. Hermione and Lily were screaming at the marauders but unfortunately Lily hadn't thought of a shield charm so when Sirius squashed a handful of sweet potatoes into her face she was powerless to stop it... and of course she then joined in for some reason targeting James instead.

But as epicly as a villain in a Disney film, Professor McGonagall flew in from her spot at the teachers table and brought to a crashing halt.

"NOW THAT IS ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU WILL CEASE THIS MADNESS AT ONCE!" She bellowed making all the students and staff stop and hold their ears in pain with the loud shrillness of her voice. All except for Dumbledore of course, who just popped another lemon drop merrily into his mouth. "I WANT YOU ALL TO RETURN TO YOUR DORMITORIES AT ONCE! EXCEPT FOR YOU POTTER, LUPIN, PETER AND BLACK!" she hollered, completely red in the face as she aggressively pointed an impressive finger at them.

Without an once of pity for the four, Hermione left the Great Hall and headed straight to the dorms. She was more than relieved that she didn't have to wait in the long line to shower and was able to just work on her school work.

She couldn't help to recall however, during her studies the vindictive look on Lily's face as she launched great heaps of vegetables down James shirt, or Sirius's beaming face as he threw his head back in evil laughter completely covered in food as mayhem in the form of side dishes soared around him. Remus's dangerous smile was quite a joy to recall as well as he launched a slew of sliced turkey at a Slytherin, even Peter, all read faced from laughter was funny and then she recalled faintly the sour look on Severus's face as they exited the hall, green peas still caught in his black hair and promptly fell into giggles.

Such fond new memories. She couldn't help but secret gratitude to the marauders for at least making her laugh even when it had seemed just last night that she would never laugh again.

A/N: Okay, so I'm cutting it off here so I can give you guys another update! Sorry it's taken me a little longer than I expect to post! I did edit my last two chapters though so it wasn't due to complete laziness!

I want to quickly thank you all who wished me luck on my exams! I think it actually did me well since I passed everything yay! I'm so relieved that the stress of that is over with! Can I get an amen for those you who feel me! lol

Let me know how you feel about the snippet of darkness I put in here... i'm sure you all have questions so don't be shy! I did manage to private message most of you for chapter twelve and some of you for thirteen in response to your reviews so please check to see if you got it!

I'd like to say a quick shout out to SINGASONGORTWO! You made me smile!

Thanks again for the reviews! I think that pretty much covers all I have to say! My goal as a special holiday treat to you guys is to post at least two more chapters within this month! I definitely wont let you guys go without at least one more I promise!


	15. Marlene

Thanks to my wonderful, awesome, amazing, fantastic beta _**Romantically Distant**_!

* * *

The next day, Hermione was able to just get up out of bed and head off to do her daily routine. But she didn't... she laid there staring up at the canopy of her bed with tears welling up in her eyes as she recalled her first dream since her reawakening.

She was back at Grimmauld Place**; **though it wasn't the Grimmauld Place that she lived in with Uncle Marius**,** it was the other Grimmauld Place...Sirius's Grimmauld Place.

And she was dancing. In the dark and empty forlorn house with cobwebs and dust and old fancy things**; **she danced in the abandoned home to a haunting, definitely familiar melody in wide turns and circles with her arms wrapped around herself.

As she danced she could feel them**,** the spirits of the dead. Harry dancing with Ginny, Ron dancing with Luna, Mrs. Weasley dancing with Mr. Weasley, and Fred, George, Neville, Bill, Fleur, Marius, Dorea, and even her parents the Grangers and so many others. They swarmed around her in their ghostly apparitions, no one speaking, no one laughing, no one smiling... as she just danced all around them, through them.

Then she saw James dancing with Lily and she stopped dancing because they were smiling. Then she saw Remus, and her heart started pounding because he was smiling too so brilliantly**.** However**,** he wasn't smiling at her, but at Tonks and for some reason this made Hermione cry. And then of course, she saw Sirius_**. **_He wasn't dancing, he wasn't smiling, and he just opened his mouth and said something she could not hear_. _He had reached out a ghostly hand that she could not touch, could not feel...

Wiping her eyes, Hermione tried to think of something else, anything else**,** but she couldn't. As she brushed her teeth, as she took a shower, as she dressed for class, she thought of nothing else but all those dead dancing ghosts; the hauntingly familiar melody still tingling in her ears.

"Hermione? Hermione Black?"

Startled, Hermione looked up from her oatmeal at the breakfast table into a slightly older Gryffindor's amused expression.

"Yes?" Hermione asked confused as the girl sized her up.

"You know you can't eat by staring at the food right? Which is what you've been doing for the past five minutes that I wasted calling you**,**" The girl said, her blonde short blunt hair falling into her bambi blue eyes.

Hermione couldn't help the blush that formed on her cheeks as she frowned and looked away from the girl.

"Sorry, I was distracted...it's too early." Hermione excused as the girl gave her a skeptical look**,** plopping right next to Hermione who eyed this movement curiously. Fixing her with an unflinching**,** blue**-**eyed gaze, the blonde girl adjusted herself on the seat and then crossed her hands.

"You are Hermione Black," the girl stated very seriously as Hermione frowned, her brows furrowing.

"Yes, I am..." she said as the girl continued to pierce her.

"You are a fourth year Gryffindor student who is top of her grade, and probably the whole bloody school**.** You've been the first to breakfast almost every day that you've attended Hogwarts to study while you eat and you expect me to believe that the reason you didn't hear your name that I've been calling for five whole minutes as I stood right beside you is because you were too tired?" she asked, her expressions very dramatic as she spoke,andher eyes screaming her skepticism.

Confused Hermione just nodded her head as the blonde scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Er...how do you know-?" Hermione started.

"**…**Who you are? Honestly, you're not really aware of yourself are you? You hang out with the most promising group of hot**,** mischievous chaps and one of the prettiest girls in Hogwarts and you're surprised that people know you?" She asked again with that tone that suggested Hermione was being stupid as she took a bite out of her waffle.

Hermione could feel her temper rising with the pretty girl's attitude but before she could open her mouth the girl spoke again.

"Though of course, I could hardly know who you are since I've been kinda dating Sirius Black for almost a year now and he just loves to gush about you**.** And I like to keep tabs on my competition. Plus I'm one of the few Gryffindor's who like to get up early too**;** though I hardly have the dedication to actually study so early like you do**.** Cause seriously**,** that is just not normal**…** not that it's not an admirable quality!" The girl said without pause. Hermione had stopped listening of course at the whole 'dating Sirius for almost a year' part...her heart just froze and she stared blanking at the blonde without registering a thing.

Because this girl, with her pretty face and shiny hair and who seemed like sunshine embodied was Sirius Black's girlfriend. Somehow finding her voice, Hermione opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Blinking rapidly, Hermione had to look away from the girl because she was pretty sure she was going to cry. Her heart felt like it was beating so fast in her chest, and she got really hot**, **yet feltcold**,** as if she was sick. Clearing her throat, Hermione tried again because she needed to know...

"I-I'm sorry but, what is your name...?" Hermione asked taking a quick glance at the girl before looking away as she tried to adjust her bearings.

"I'm Marlene, Marlene McKinnon in sixth year. And I already know everything there is to know about you Hermione**.** Like for example, you know a lot of things since your very smart...things about history and charms and potions and Sirius. You know a lot about Sirius. And see, I like smart people Hermione. I like people who know things. I like people who know things that I don't know..." Marlene said in a matter of fact tone as Hermione frowned even more and faced the pretty blonde who was still staring at her.

"I don't know what you mean-" Hermione started roughly again.

"Like you would know, for example, why Sirius doesn't talk to his brother or where he lives, or what he does when he's not here causing havoc with his mates or snogging me-"

"Okay, that is enough!" Hermione said slamming her hands down as she stood from the table and glared down at Marlene. Surprisingly, the girl just smiled a mysterious closed lip smile, her blue eyes twinkling up at Hermione. "I don't know what you're playing at but if you want to know something about Sirius then you should just suck it up and ask him! Since you're his g-girlfriend then it shouldn't be that hard!" Hermione hissed as she hastily grabbed her things and marched away, her thick hair impressively blowing back with the force of her harsh stomps.

"Oi Black!" Marlene called just as Hermione reached the end of the Gryffindor table. Frustrated, Hermione turned on her heal and glared at the smiling girl as she waved something in your hand. "You're forgetting something..."

"What? I didn't forget-" Hermione started**,** before squinting her eyes to see the object Marlene held out, realizing it was an envelope.

"You!" she hissed as she stormed back to the girl who chuckled much to Hermione's ire. "You should have given that to me in the first place!" she said, snatching the envelope from her hands as she gave her a curious, wide eyed smile.

"Oooh so you know what it is?" she asked with excitement as Hermione glared at her and shoved the letter in her satchel.

"None of your business-"

"It's from Dumbledore though, isn't it**?** It's not often someone gets a letter from Dumbledore..." Marlene said fixing Hermione with her penetrating gaze.

Adjusting the strap to her bag, Hermione turned sharply again marched away, completely ignoring Marlene's 'see ya around Black!' She felt on edge, anxious as she went. A restless energy boiled inside of her leading her feet with no conscious effort on Hermione's part...she was too busy fuming, too busy picturing hexing black to be an unrecognizable mass of boils, too busy trying to deny the tears gathering in her eyes.

She froze when she realized this was a feeling she was familiar with**:** all those years in Hogwarts**,** when she liked Ron and they would go back and forth between bickering and liking each other. The jealousy and the anger she would feel then was exactly like what she was feeling now.

But now it was with Sirius and that felt so much worse because she really liked him, even kissed him, though that should hardly matter when it was so many years ago. But he was playing her for a fool, stringing her along with flirty words and charming faces. Making her hope, making her continue to like him.

But she was done now.

For almost a year...the thought made her bloody boil like fire in her veins. She knew then, the only way to dispel this feeling would require her tosuppress them for a little while longer while she headed to her destination**: **the Room of Requirement. She didn't have to go far, just up one set of staircase behind an old dirty tapestry that cut straight to the seventh floor, around a corner and down the long hall and she was there.

She stomped as she walked past the room three times and practically flung the door in her haste to get inside. Without a pause, Hermione strode purposefully into the room that she would destroy and threw the first object that she touched. No noise escaped her as she threw vases and slammed down mirrors, toppled lamps and pretty much anything else that made a satisfying shattering noise.

But she soon got bored with that, the fire in her veins not even remotely dissipating with her actions. Breathing hard she turned to the numerous amount of targets in the room and practice dummies and withdrew her wand.

With a beastly growl**,** picturingSirius and Marlene snogging, Hermione released her magic. In the form of dazzling lights, Hermione's frustration, hurt and betrayal was present. It easily destroyed the targets and lit on fire the dummies. There was no stopping the quick succession of her spells until she stopped herself.

Taking in the completely wrecked room, Hermione collapsed. She felt no satisfaction, no resolve... just beastly... she felt beastly, unhinged, angry. Because she was losing control of her emotions and letting them get the best of her. Like Harry would.

She had no real right to get so mad. Sirius was never hers... she was the one who let her emotions run wild. He was just playful and bright, and beautiful and funny...and she was drawn to that. With a sigh, Hermione let her face fall into her hands.

But she couldn't anymore**.** She had to be stronger, colder, meaner so she could infiltrate...Dumbledore was right, there was no way for her to try with the state she was in.

With a gasp, Hermione bolted upright when she realized she was going to be late to class. Groaning, Hermione ran with all her speed through the halls to Professor Binn's class so she wasn't at least too late.

In her haste she wind up bumping a lot of other students and earning quite a few foul names but she didn't even register them until, of course, she collided with a person. But Hermione was quick, in the split second that it took between falling and even registering that she was falling, she was able to nonverbally and wandlessly cast a cushioning charm.

That was why Regulus Black was very surprised when his head didn't bang harshly on the floor. Instead, he felt as if he fell into a pile of feathers. He was so surprised he couldn't even find a snarky comment to say to the infamous Gryffindor girl as she bolted up. His mates though, Barty and Flint wasted no time to insult the impostor**.** But she was already up and gone with a hasty 'sorry' before they could even open their mouths.

Hermione didn't even notice whom she bumped into as she ran through the halls, though she probably would have been a little politer if she had. But she was just so close to making it; just a few more steps to the door... her hand just turned the knob when the signal for class went off. She clamored inside, hair wild, breathing heavy and clothes completely disheveled and looked fearfully at the old Professor.

It was all for naught, however, since Binns hadn't even registered her appearance and just started the lecture. Hermione sighed and went to take her seat in the front, completely ignoring the snickering marauders as she passed or the hisses of the Slytherins.

"What in the name of Merlin took you so long?" Lily whispered as Hermione sat and took out her texts. "You left the dorms almost two hours before class even started!"

But in typical Hermione fashion, she shushed Lily and focused all her attention on the lecture, much to Lily's annoyance. However, she was not easily dismayed and bothered Hermione the entire lesson**;** much to Hermione's annoyance. As soon as class ended, Lily latched onto Hermione like a leech.

"Hermione, you are never late and you left extremely early so tell me what happened because you look like you just went to war with the giant squid." Lily said as they walked out of the classroom.

"I did not go to war with the Giant Squid**.** I lost track of time practicing some spells, is all." Hermione explained as Lily gauged her face for any sign of her lying. She then picked out a piece of glass from Hermione's hair and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Just leave it Lily." Hermione said before the girl could ask more questions.

"Awe, did Buttons wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Sirius asked playfully as he came up beside Hermione and threw his arm around her shoulders.

Hermione flinched, an imagined image of Sirius in a passionate moment with Marlene flashing in her mind and the next second she was shrugging out from Sirius's arm.

"Don't touch me." she whispered, her eyes not able to meet his shocked grey ones.

"Hermione?" Lily asked unsurely, as Sirius just stayed frozen and Hermione could feel herself flush with embarrassment. She could feel the eyes of James, Remus, and Peter all gazing at her curiously as well and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to get away.

"Sorry." she stated lamely before running off.

"Hermione!" Lily cried and she knew the red head was hurrying to catch up to her. She slowed down when she was sure that she was far away from the marauders and out of Remus's hearing range.

"Sirius has a girlfriend." Hermione said turning around to face Lily who stood behind her slightly breathless.

"Okay..." Lily started "hardly a shocker-...oh, Sirius has a girlfriend." Lily stated as she came to realize what Hermione wouldn't say out loud.

"Oh Hermione," Lily said, drawing her into a hug that lasted for a good minute.

"You smell good." Hermione said with a watery smile as she wiped her eyes. Lily smiled at her before she sighed.

"I wish we didn't have to go to class, this is the first time we've actually had a proper girl talk!" she said as Hermione chuckled.

"Proper girl talk?" she asked as Lily laughed and they made their way to class.

"Yeah, you know! Confessing crushes and talking about new clothes and who's dating who...who is dating Sirius anyway?" she asked as Hermione frowned.

"Marlene McKinnon." Lily _whistled_a funny wide eyed expression on her face.

"Isn't she a sixth year?" she said aghast as Hermione nodded.

"Yes, and she said they've been dating for almost a year already."

"Oh that's odd of her. Though I did hear that Sirius was dating Dorcas Meadows in the beginning of third year and she was a sixth year at the time..."

"I think I heard that too." Hermione said before she sighed.

"It's just strange because from what I heard Marlene is really smart and so is Dorcas so why in the world they would even be attracted to such a playboy-" Lily started before she abruptly stopped herself.

"It's okay Lily, its true. He is flirtatious and I know. I don't know really why I still like him either..." Hermione said as they came up to the transfiguration classroom. Just before she could go inside though, Lily stopped her.

"Hermione, we will talk about this later alright! I won't have you being all depressed about this because of some stupid boy so we'll talk it out and then resolve your feelings!" Lily stated firmly as Hermione smiled.

"Thanks Lily." she said really meaning it. It was then though that she remembered Dumbledore's letter. "I don't think I'll be able to talk after dinner though."

"Ugh Hermione!" Lily started before Hermione cut her off.

"It's not to study! Dumbledore wants to talk to me!" Hermione said before opening the door and going inside. She pointedly did not look in the direction of the marauders but froze when she saw Sirius sitting next to her usual seat in the front and pointedly staring at her.

"Come over here Hermione." Lily whispered into her ear, grabbing Hermione's arm and sitting her next to Alice, who smiled at her in greeting. Shocked, Hermione watched as her red headed friend went to sit in Hermione's usual spot, ignoring Sirius's glare.

She mentally applauded Lily's quick thinking because she honestly just didn't want to talk or even look at Sirius right now. Though it seemed as if she couldn't stop looking at Sirius, who was furiously whispering to Lily, and the red head just continued to ignore him. He stopped as soon as McGonagall walked in, turning one last time to look back at Hermione with such a hurt expression.

Hermione gulped and wanted to look away from his eyes so badly, his confused hurt face, but she couldn't. She wanted to tell him, to yell at him and ask him how he could wear such a face when she was the one who was hurt. She wanted to just scream her confession and then smack him for being so idiotic and dumb and dating smart pretty blondes like Marlene.

"Black! Eyes up front!" McGonagall's piercing voice cut threw, making Hermione's heart jump into her throat as she immediately turned her attention to her. But McGonagall wasn't looking at her but at Sirius who was still gazing intensely at Hermione who could feel her heart pounding in her ribs.

"Black!" She called, reaching out and snapping her fingers into Sirius's face as Lily reached out to pinch his arm, finally making him take his eyes off her. "Eyes focused on me!"

She knew then when Sirius didn't make some smart ass response that he was definitely feeling upset with her and in a way Hermione was happy. She wanted him to feel bad, just as bad as her.

Hermione was ready for him whenclass ended, already up and out of her seat by the time the bell finished ringing with the added help of Lily, who sent a tripping jinx at Sirius as he tried to chase her. She was relieved that her next class was one Sirius wasn't taking, Arithmancy. She was allowed to escape for a little while and lost herself in the flow of complex numbers.

She was startled in her next class, Muggle Studies, when Remus came and sat next to her**;**Sirius eyeing the two from where he sat with James and Peter adjacent to them. Lily looked frustrated as she sat on Hermione's other side but in all**,** Hermione felt was wary.

"I don't want to talk to Sirius**,** Remus**,** so don't even ask." Hermione stated as he sat down.

"I'm not here to convince you to. I figured you probably have a good enough reason to avoid him since he tends to cause trouble." Remus said as he started to open his books.

"If I recall correctly, you also said you were trouble just yesterday..." Hermione reminded him making him give that mischievous smirk again.

"Foiled by my own loud mouth." he said as Hermione rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"Look Remus-"

"Ah ah ah!" he said, stopping Hermione with a wiggling finger and that same smile. "No talking in class." As the Professor came out and called for attention.

Hermione gave Remus a look as he just winked at her and then slide a piece of paper over at her from the desk they shared.

He wants to meet with you after class ends. We've all got detention with Filch after dinner so it's the only time he can talk at a decent hour. It said in Remus's neat script.

How long did you guys get for the food fight yesterday? She responded, pointedly ignoring the request. Remus shot her a look as he wrote his response.

We've got detention until after Christmas helping filch clean the toilets and other foul evil places entirely muggle style. And on his behalf, I got to say that Sirius is having a pretty tough time right now so maybe you could just consider a tiny**-**winsy bit of letting him off a little easier. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't that bad but it's serious what he's going through.

Hermione eyed this curious response as she tried to think of something to say. She knew already what was probably going on with Sirius...his mother. He never really got into details though so Hermione wondered just how bad it really was for Sirius at home. What if she was abusing him? That was a silly question**;** she knew that woman was abusing him with her derogatory words which were enough in itself.

Besides, it wasn't like she really had a right to be angry. If she thought back, Sirius hadn't really tried to kiss her again or been overly affectionate for a long time. She had just been making it a whole lot bigger in her head. The fact was that Sirius had been nothing but a friend, sometimes a little over friendly but nothing too Sirius. It was just Hermione who took it all too seriously and being foolish.

With a sigh, Hermione succumbed and wrote an okay to Remus. She would end it now and put to rest her childish feelings. She was angry at herself for even letting her emotions get so out of control.

And it was with these thoughts that Hermione trudged to the empty classroom on the sixth floor to meet up with Sirius hours later. She had told Lily what she had planned to do just after class had ended and had gotten her approval. It didn't make it any easier for her though as she grabbed the knob but failed to turn it.

She knew in her heart that some part of her that wanted to deny the past, deny her future, just wanted to hold onto Sirius and pretend like she was a normal girl... free to like the charming beautiful boy. She wasn't though. Everything**,** in this life**,** insured that she be anything but normal.

So she turned the knob and steeled herself because after this there wasn't any going back. She would be letting all her normal hopes go.

"Buttons!" Sirius said with relief as she stepped inside the room and closed the door. "I thought you would stand me up." he said with a little chuckle as Hermione barely managed to smile at him.

"Hey Sirius." she said, staying by the door as he walked over to her with that easy going smile on his face before he took in her face and frowned.

"Button's what's the matter? You don't look so good...Listen, I don't know what I did but I'm really sorry-" Sirius started, worriedly coming over to Hermione and placing his hands on her shoulders, bending his head to look into her eyes earnestly.

"You don't have to apologize**,** Sirius." she said, reaching up and taking his hands off her shoulder, a movement that made Sirius frown down at her. "I was just being silly earlier. I didn't mean to get you all worried or anything." she said as Sirius assessed her with a furrowed brow.

"I don't get it, you said-"

"Not to touch me...yeah, sorry. It's just that, well... I like someone Sirius." she blurted, her heart pounding furiously in her chest with her lie as Sirius froze. "a-and er... I didn't want him to get any wrong ideas you know..." she stuttered, gazing away from Sirius's probing gaze and hoping he wouldn't catch her lie.

A long pause followed with Hermione's faux confession. A pause that made even breathing a hard task with the tension in the air until finally Sirius took a step back from her.

"You, you like someone?" he asked. Hermione gulped and felt like she was suffocating in the heat her pounding flustered heart caused.

"Yes." she whispered.

"And you flinched away from me because you didn't want him to see me holding onto you and getting any ideas?" he whispered rhetorically but Hermione nodded anyway.

"And you like this boy...?" Sirius said again.

"Yes Sirius-"

"Who is it?" he interrupted roughly making Hermione flinch again.

"I don't really want to say-"

"Tell me." Sirius demanded, coming back to put his hands on her shoulders.

Feeling panicked and back into a corner and angry at herself for thinking Sirius wouldn't want to know whom she liked, Hermione blurted the first name that came to mind.

"Remus!" she shouted, turning her head and staring him straight in the eyes.

And just like that Sirius let her go, backing far away and not looking at her as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I-I like Remus." she repeated, hoping Remus would forgive her for the lie she was saying.

"You like Remus..." Sirius too repeated in shock but this time Hermione didn't confirm, just stood watching him... the way his chest feel rapidly and the wide eyed way he was staring at the floor. It was almost as if he couldn't—no didn't—want to believe it...as if this news for some reason was painful?

But Hermione shook her head at the thought. If it was painful for Sirius than it was only because he couldn't string her along anymore... and as if he had heard her thoughts, Sirius raised her head and gave her one of his mischievous smirks but made no move to get close to her again.

"Well that's brilliant...just brilliant..." he said a little awkwardly but Hermione just laughed a fake sound even to her ears and then grabbed the door handle to make her retreat.

"Yeah, well, now you know... so no hard feelings?" she asked, struggling to maintain her smile as Sirius scoffed and waved a hand.

"Yeah, no hard feelings Buttons!" he responded loudly.

"Great... Oh, just one other thing. I was hoping that we could keep this to ourselves since I'm not ready for Remus to know just yet." she said as Sirius nodded a little too vigorously.

"Sure thing, whatever you want Buttons."

"Okay, well see you then." Hermione said awkwardly before scurrying out the door without even waiting for a response and literally ran from the room, her plastered smile falling with the coming of her tears.

That night, Hermione made her way to Dumbledore's at his request. She had no hope that whatever Dumbledore had to tell her was good news; she had no... anything, when she had finally stopped crying a couple hours ago, just an empty feeling in her chest.

"Enter." Dumbledore beckoned before Hermione could knock as usual. Taking her seat in front of the desk, she offered Dumbledore a small greeting and waited for whatever it was he had to say. But minutes passed and he didn't say anything... just continued to watch her and she didn't ask why, just waited to be spoken to.

Soon her mind started to drift to the day's events and naturally to Sirius. She wondered to herself how long it would take her to stop thinking about him so much... a week, a month,three months? Or, Merlin help her, a year?

But she had to push it aside, he was dating Marlene and that was that.

She could find other things to occupy herself with.

"Yes, you can Hermione." Dumbledore stated suddenly, making Hermione jump as she remembered where and whom she was seated in front of.

"I'm sorry, pardon?" Hermione asked as Dumbledore fixed her with his gaze.

"I said, yes you can Hermione." he repeated as she cocked her head in confusion.

"Yes, I can what, Headmaster?" Hermione asked before she realized, he had read her mind... read her mind and answered her thoughts.

"Exactly right**; **I read your thoughts and I have the perfect task to occupy yourself with." he said almost merrily as Hermione winced at having her thoughts invaded.

"And what is that?" she asked as Dumbledore smiled.

"Occlumency." he stated simply as Hermione clenched her hand around the armrest of her chair.

"Occlumency? But I thought you didn't want me to block the visions anymore...?" Hermione asked unsure as Dumbledore waved his h ands and summoned a cookie into his mouth. A pause followed in which he ate the treat and Hermione wrapped her head around relearning the grueling task of occlumency.

"If your visions are no longer a part of this times future, than it would be unwise to keep your mind open when you infiltrate Voldemort's ranks." Dumbledore responded, touching the tips of his fingers together as Hermione reached out and took a cup of tea to sip her suddenly dry throat.

"I know you didn't like the task before... it was mentally and physically exhausting and requires every day consistent practice. And since neither you nor I have the free time as before your attendance to Hogwarts, you will have to practice on your own time with the only other person I would trust with such a task."

"And who is that?" Hermione asked almost dreading his response.

"Why your Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor...Elphias Doge." he said pleasantly as Hermione fought the need to groan and slam her head.

Since the curse Riddle put on the Defense position, there really has not been the same Professor to teach the class two years in a row and this year it was Dumbledore's oldest friend, Elphias Doge who took up the position.

And it was most unfortunate he did.

A grumpy old man, Elphias was hardly suitable to teach anything let alone a defense class. He was impatient, rude, and merciless, even to Hermione's standards and it was just so obvious that he didn't want to be teaching...

But he was brilliant. He pushed the class because he knew that only hard gruesome work warrants truly impressive results. Having lived for seven years as being called 'Dumbledore's dimwitted side-kick'**,** Elphias worked excruciatingly hard for many years to make a name for him.

And Hermione respected that, even empathized with that, but she still did not want to have anything to do with the grumpy stern old man especially with a task so trying as Occlumency.

"I think you will come to like Elphias's teaching in a one to one environment, Hermione. He is not such a stern man as you may think. He is dedicated and does his all in everything he does and that is something you can definitely understand, no?" Dumbledore said before popping another lemon drop into his mouth.

Hermione plastered on a smile and nodded.

"I'm sure it won't be a fruitless investment. I know Professor Doge is as fair as the efforts you give him."

"Precisely**,**that's why you'll be meeting with him every day until he feels you have the basics down again which I know won't take you very long, Hermione. I would also like you meet with you every two weeks for a different training with me." he stated as Hermione looked curiously at her headmaster.

"Train me in what, Professor?" She asked as finally Dumbledore's smile faded.

"Voldemort is the best duelist and legilimens, rivaling only myself. He is ruthless, invasive, and possessive. Without doubt he is intruding on the minds of his followers daily and prone to subdue his death eaters ruthlessly at any given moment. When you infiltrate you will be subjected _**t**_o his whim, to his wants and to his mercy which we both know he is without. As it stands, you have the power to rival and possibly even beat him but you are no match without training. I plan to hone**,** into you**,** a line of defense." he said, leaning forward on his arms to stare into Hermione.

"I want to make this clear Hermione...you are not your future's Harry Potter. You do not have a sacrificial love on your side; in fact, you are the sacrifice, you are the weapon and so I have to train you as such. It will be harsher than what your Harry went through and thankless but we-"

"We both know what is at stake." Hermione finished, her hands clenched tight in her lap but her stare unbending. "You don't have to tell me Dumbledore. I am more than ready. I will do whatever it takes."

"I know you will Hermione_. _You already have."

Even at the cost of her soul.

(Feel free to edit you're A/N Note know you have a beta :) )

A/N" Alright! Another update! I've been working my ass off so I've got no time to beta this (and if there's anyone whose willing to take on the harrowing, trying task of becoming my beta let me know) but I'll try to do it during this ! Hope you guys aren't getting ready to skewer me on a stake with this update! I realized that it's been EIGHT chapters since I've had Hermione even kiss anyone so I'll need to change that (wiggles eyebrows)

I would like to thank you all for your reviews and be looking at your Private Messages since I have sent responses!

Also, I will be traveling for the hols a very long vacation in which I will be journey to four different states so I can tell you now I will have no updates for a while! I'll be too busy trying to stave off frost bite!

Till then, Ciao my ducky's! And a Happy Holidays to you all!

Stay warm!


	16. Remus

Thanks to my freaking awesome beta the wonderful and talented _**Romantically** **Distant.**_

* * *

...3 weeks later...

At a late hour in which Hermione could normally count on being alone in the common room, a party was in full bloom. In the center focus of this party was the infamous marauders in their most rowdiness glory, the only fourth years to be in with the seventh years who ruled. This is of course, due to not only James, Sirius, and Remus's good looks and mischievous personalities**,** but because it was James and Sirius who managed to smuggle in the boozes, which automatically meant that they and friends of their choosing got to reap the benefits.

And what benefits they reaped. This new found in with the older cooler kids ignited jealousy and respect from all their classmates and allotted the marauders even more popularity and power. They could now roam freely after hours with the help of the older prefects and Head boy and girl who gave them free passes and made up excuses, and did even harsher pranks with their help too, to the point that no one, not even teachers were safe... they even skived off classes!

It was really grating on Hermione nerves. She literally boiled with the need to reprimand them each and every time they strolled in late or pranked someone in the halls or skipped classes but sadly, she couldn't... because Hermione was avoiding the marauders with everything she had.

She lied to herself by saying it was because she needed to practice more on Occlumency so she could hurry up and move onto Legilimency but that wasn't what the whispers would say. The dark whispers that everyone has and that everyone pushes away... the ones that spoke the dark underlying truth in all actions... the ones that Hermione wished would just shut up!

Because those traitorous whispers would say the reason why she was avoiding them was in hopes that it would elicit a reaction out of Sirius...maybe he would miss her...maybe he would miss her so much he'd start pestering her incessantly again like he did before everything fell to pits...before he started dating Marlene...

Involuntarily, Hermione's eyes were once again drawn up from her untouched book in front of her to where Sirius stood laughing with flushed cheeks, firewhiskey clutched in one hand and Marlene tucked under his other arm. A hot jolt of jealousy sizzled through her making her frown darkly and clench the book in her hand. She wanted to throw her book at Sirius's head, or take his drink and poor it over Marlene's blonde hair... She could see herself doing it too...just marching over _there_ and making those bright smiles turn into shock and embarrassment as she dealt her revenge...even if she had no right to do so since Sirius was never hers.

And so enveloped in her dark thoughts was she, that she didn't even notice when the air in the room changed even; the faces all around the common subtly stilling like deer sensing a hunter as the laughter started to die and the room got a little colder and a dark ominous air started to make a presence in the room...

Only when those light grey eyes met her own, did Hermione snap back to herself and the common room went right back to lively; her eyed immediately turning back to her book as she took a steadying breath. She was surprised with herself and all the ways she envisioned hurting Sirius and Marlene. She never really admitted to herself that she was a grudging person who wanted others to hurt like she hurt but she realized that she was. She wanted to hurt two people who have done nothing but like one another...

Without making a conscious decision to do so, Hermione fled from the common room without even taking her wand with her. She felt unbearably hot with shame and embarrassment and yet still could not muster the strength to get rid of her jealousy. She knew the right thing to do would be to bury her feelings...concentrate on her task and forget all about it but it was impossible when she was around Sirius all the time...to see his heart warming grin and be so close to someone so undeniably talented, funny, charismatic and gorgeous. Even without knowing him, Hermione would still probably have a crush on him...

Sighing, Hermione dragged herself into the nearby classroom and made a beeline for the windowsill. She had just sat down when the door to the room burst open, making Hermione jump. Wide eyed, Hermione turned to the door and saw an uncomfortable Remus standing in the threshold and nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

Hermione couldn't mask her surprised confusion as to why Remus had followed her as he shuffled into the room and shut the door quietly behind him. She watched as he opened his mouth but failed to speak and sighed in frustration, he then quickly marched to where Hermione was sitting and plopped down next to her.

"Er...Remus?" she asked as she sat a little straighter and tried to perceive the strange look on his face.

"Sorry, Hermione...I just... well...look, I know we're not that close or anything but I think we've been good enough friends for a while, yeah? And I think...well, I like to think that you and I are both similar in the way that we're both not very... conventional wizards, I mean, witches or er I mean, witch and wizard! And er...well everyone noticed...or really I noticed that lately your magic has been acting up a lot and I just wanted to say that you can er...if you want to, that is**...**you can talk to me...about er...anything." Remus finished rubbingthe back of his neck and giving Hermione a nervous grin.

Hermione for her part had watched Remus struggle for words with an almost pensive look on her face and when Remus had finished she eyed him for a heartbeat longer before she nodded, which Remus took to mean that she would come to talk to him but that wasn't what she had nodded to herself for...

No, no. Hermione had made a decision in her head, one that formulated as Remus talked and she took in his nervous fiddling hand, and flushed face and decided...she decided to kiss him.

And so she did. She leaned over, cupped his cheek to turn his face towards hers, leaned in and gently brushed her lips across his. She lingered there for a couple of seconds, waiting for Remus to un-freeze but when he didn't, Hermione sighed and moved away, her eyes roved his face, taking in his wide amber eyes, his unmoving body as if she hit him with a petrifying spell.

There was only silence between them that Hermione didn't want to break for fear of Remus's reaction. She realized that she might have been very rude to him just then, kissing him without his permission but it hadn't even occurred to her to ask, to focus on her decision to let go of herself and try to move onto the gentle, kind and wonderful Remus... and maybe get a little revenge on Sirius.

And now she wondered if perhaps he was disgusted by her actions and so she scrambled to stand up away from him. This movement seemed to shake him out of his trance as he watched her and just as he opened his mouth to speak Hermione spoke.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried in mortification as Remus frowned and stood up as well, his face swarming with a hundred emotions but none she could identify.

"er-"

"I can't believe I just did that without even asking you! I'm really so sorry Remus...oh, what you must think! I-I I'm really sorry, I'm not thinking straight right now and-" Hermione babbled, pacing in her embarrassment and guilt.

"Hermione-" Remus tried to interrupt to no avail.

"I really- I just have been- you didn't deserve that-"

"Hermione!"

"Cause your one of my good friends**,** Remus-"

"Hermione!" he bellowed, coming to stand in her way and grab her shoulders, sufficiently stopping Hermione's incessant apologies as she looked fretfully up at him.

"Can I speak now?" he said with a crooked grin as Hermione just nodded her head. "I don't mind that you kissed me. I er, well, I'm a bloke and blokes generally don't mind when a pretty girl decides to plant one on them but er...I just don't know why you did it..." he said, staring down into her eyes seriously even though he was blushing all the way to his ears.

"Why?" Hermione mirrored dumbly as Remus blushed even more and took his hands off her shoulders.

"Not that I minded it's just, er, I was kind of under the impression that you fancied Sirius." Remus stated as Hermione felt her heart freeze at his words.

A small pause followed as Hermione gaped at him and Remus shuffled uncomfortably on his feet.

"How did you...?" she tried to ask as Remus rubbed the back of his neck again. "Is it because of your wolf senses?" Hermione asked making Remus chuckle suddenly.

"Not really... I just...noticed the way you sometimes look at him. And sometimes when it's quiet enough, I can hear your heart speed up a little when you're around him...and sometimes when you're around me." Remus said, his eyes peering into hers deeply as he said the last part, as if her eyes could answer all the questions in his, making Hermione's heart sped up and her face to flush.

His head tilted and an uncharacteristic smirk lit his face as he listened to her heart, making her heart pound even more with embarrassment.

"Remus!" she hissed with mortification as he laughed at her.

"Just like that..." he said smiling, as Hermione hid her face behind her hands with a groan before peering up at him through her fingers.

"Please Remus...it's not like I can control it when you point it out like that." Hermione said as Remus ducked his head to smirk in her face.

"Exactly, that's what makes it great!" he responded cheekily as Hermione half heartily swatted at him.

"Not fair," she retorted weakly "Now I feel like an open book!"

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Remus's teasing demeanor changed completely as he backed away from her.

"Does it... bother you?" Remus mumbled, his face suddenly turning into a mask of uncertainty, avoiding her eyes.

"No," Hermione responded immediately peering up at him earnestly**,** "no, it doesn't bother me at all, Remus." A pause followed with Remus still avoiding her eye. Hermione decided to take a risk and stepped up closer to him, reaching out her hand to grasp his chin and turn his face towards her.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you Remus... I'm sorry for all the pain you've ever had to feel because of your lycanthropy but I want you to know that I don't like you in spite of it, or even because of it...I simply like you and because that is a part of you I like it too... do you understand?"

She could feel the heat emitting from Remus's face with the force of blush that went all the way to his ears; and yet, she still persisted her gaze on him, not letting him turn away.

"Remus, look at me..." Hermione said finally getting him to drag his eyes to hers. "Do you get it?" He nodded a curt little nod and only then did she let him go.

"Good." she said, as she leaned back towards the window sill, turning her eyes away to give Remus a little time to compose himself. A few seconds later he leaned back as well in a forced casual way.

"You like Sirius more though..." Hermione jerked as if physically struck at his words and the simple way he stated them. All the years of those secret emotions, all the times she had almost said it out loud but never did... and now they were there; ushered words for anyone ears to hear. Her emotions simply stated from someone else lips. So shocked was she to hear them from his mouth that she couldn't even respond; just stare dumbstruck at the boy in front her with his lopsided grin.

"I'll take that as a definite yes." he said back to his cheeky self.

"Yes," Hermione said meeting Remus's eyes "I like Sirius...a lot"

"Why do I strangely feel a **'**but**'** coming?" Remus said as Hermione sighed.

"But, Sirius is with Marlene and I... well, I haven't been completely honest with you Remus." she said making Remus straighten up and listen to her with attention, as she shifted nervously at what she was about to say.

"That day way back when I avoided Sirius and you told me to lay off him because bad stuff was happening to him at home... do you remember?" she asked as he swiftly nodded his head and she took a deep breathe. "well that was the day I found out about Marlene and him and when I went to go meet him I wound up feeling very... trapped and... emotional. I needed an excuse to explain why I couldn't be around him any more without him finding out my feelings so I told him... I told him that I fancied you..." Hermione said contritely with a mixture of embarrassment and nerves as she ducked her head in shame and wrung her hands nervously.

A thick pause followed as Hermione waited for Remus's reaction. She was shocked when she felt one of his hands come up to force her chin up.

"So then I just have to get you to fancy me**,**" he said with a smile just before his lips brushed softly against hers.

A fleeting thought welled into Hermione's mind at how they would look if someone was to come in on them; with the huge gap separating their bodies, the whisper-like pressure of his lips on hers... it was all so...innocent and sweet, reminiscent of her first kiss with Sirius.

"Remus, I-" Hermione whispered as they pulled apart only to be stopped by the sweet smile on his face.

"Let's go back to the common room."

Hermione assessed Remus's expression, his smiling face, his steady gaze...looking for a sign of regret or anything but she found nothing so she nodded her head and walked with him out of the room. She wouldn't push him to talk right now...not when she herself was so unsure with what she wanted. Besides, she was the one to start this mess in the first place, she could hardly say 'sorry, can we pretend that didn't happen' when she wasn't sure she wanted to pretend it didn't happen.

Remus reached the portrait whole first and in a show of chivalry opened it for her first with a teasing smile and bow.

"Why, thank you Remus." she responded with a smile before stepping inside and colliding head first into a chest.

"Oh sorry**,**" Hermione said, as big hands wrapped around her forearms to steady her. She looked up and brown clashed with gray as she stiffened in Sirius's arms.

"Well, well, well! Looky here!" Sirius said brightly when he finally released her gaze to look behind her at Remus. "I was just wondering where you had run off to Moony! You weren't doing anything I wouldn't do with precious Buttons here were you?" Sirius asked playfully with narrowed eyes as Remus stepped up behind her and gently pulled her out of Sirius's grip.

"What like snogging in unused classrooms or playing doctor with our clothes off?" Remus asked as Hermione froze in horror as the two stared each other down for one tense minute in which Hermione finally took notice of Marlene just behind Sirius. The moment broke when the two boys stared busting out laughing at each other as Sirius stepped aside to let them pass.

"Yeah...right then. The party's over by the way Moony. All the firewhiskey is gone**, **the blasted vultures!" Sirius said as Hermione hurriedly past him without even glancing his way, with Remus close on her heels. "And sinceit's pretty late I guess we should all just go to bed then, yeah?" Sirius asked trailing behind them as they entered the almost empty common room.

James and Peter were still about with some of the truly wild seventh years girls and boys but surprisingly Sirius did not head back to them with Marlene but lingered beside Hermione and Remus.

"Well I guess he's right it is pretty late." Hermione said, feeling the incredible need to rush up to her rooms and draw her curtains to hide and possibly never come back out.

"Yeah..." Remus said gazing down at Hermione with and un-yielding gaze.

"We'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, alright? Night you two**,**" Sirius said brightly, reaching out to grab onto Remus and drag him towards the boys dorms as Hermione stared after them in shock.

"Bloody bastard**,**" Marlene said lowly, drawing Hermione's attention to the beautiful blonde who stood beside her with a dark smirk on her face, lessening the bite of her words.

An immediate feeling of discomfort ran through Hermione at being alone with the girl; so quickly, without a word, Hermione made her way to the girls' dormitory and the safety of her bed. She didn't account Marlene's determination however, as she followed quickly after Hermione.

"A terrible boyfriend, he is. That one wouldn't know maturity or commitment even if it gave him a good slap in the face. You know, even though he's dating me he still checks out every bloody female in a skirt and Merlin forbid I ask him to take me out on a bloody date! He's the lousiest-"

With frustration, Hermione halted on the steps and turned to glare down, no longer able to ignore the chatty girl.

"What are you playing at _McKinnon_? Why are you telling me these things?" Hermione asked impatiently as more frustration built when Marlene gave her a slow, slick smile.

"I told you before, I like smart, informed people and this right here is me keeping you informed. You are my rival, after-all and I like to play on completely fair grounds." she stated as if this thought process was the most logical and natural way of thinking. Dumbfounded, Hermione just watched the girl deftly pass her by and make her way further up the stairs.

"Oh, by the way..." she started, twisting around to give Hermione a pensive look "I wouldn't involve Lupin into our playing field if I were you. There just seems to be something about him that is off..." she said with surprising accuracy before smiling brightly at Hermione and going back up the stairs.

"Merlin, help me." Hermione whispered to herself with exasperation before she swiftly entered her rooms and shut the door.

Saturday came as a blessing for Hermione after the previous day's excitement. She made a conscious decision as soon as she woke to not think about anything that happened (aka Remus) and forgone eating breakfast in favor of some much needed time in the library. She needed to finish up her potions essay on blood replenishing potion and the easily mistakable ingredients and get a head start on elder futhark runes that they were sure to cover before Christmas not to mention she needed to add more detail to her Arithmancy outline for her final end of the year project...

Plopping down heavily at a reclusive table by the restricted section, Hermione sighed and dropped her head into her hands, her knapsack making a loud thunk beside her. She wondered not for the first time, just what she was doing? She didn't need to be doing trivial mundane things like homework... she needed to be out in the real world, making plans to stop future attacks from death eaters and Voldemort... she needed to be out there recruiting irreplaceable members for the order and preventing others joining the death eaters... she needed-

She needed to get her act together. Pining away like some fool for Sirius Black, kissing sweet innocent boys like Remus, running away to bury herself into homework... all this was unimportant, foolish and immature of her to do.

It was so unlike her to be wasting away her opportunities. She was smarter than that. She had far more knowledge and she knew what could be at stake. Granted, there was a serious lack of emotion with the coming of her past memories. She could clearly see that they were something that she lived but at the same time they were disconnected to her by her memories as Hermione Black...she couldn't feel what she had felt then and it was easy for her to forget that she was technically from a very bleak, hopeless future.

She contemplated if that was how she was able to go back in time in the first place...to give her the ability to remember but not feel the things she did then...kind of like falling into a pensieve.

Regardless, it didn't take away her conviction to stop Riddle because, for all her inability to feel there was one simple thing that managed to transcend to her... Harry Potter.

It was strange but she just knew that she could not allow Harry Potter to become a horocrux; it was the only feeling that lingered.

Resolved, Hermione lifted her head and sat back in her chair, exhaling slowly as she closed her eyes. Patiently she sat breathing in and out until she was on the cusp of sleeping and then she allowed her mental barriers to come up...

It was like standing in a tiny room with hundreds of pictures, the biggest canvases the faces of the founders of Hogwarts. Godric Gryffindor, with his great head of massive red hair and long beard, his garb of fur skins and protection**;** like a warrior as her feelings of conviction, justice and moral flowed brightly and he spoke to her in his great booming voice and he said 'I keep your honor'**.**

Helga Hufflepuff, with her fat cheeks, her kind bright eyes, her dress a beautiful canary yellow**; **like a loving mother as her feelings of trust, loyalty and friendship gently glowed and she spoke to her in that whispery**,** calming voice and said 'I keep your love'**.**

Rowena Ravenclaw, with her regal expression, long black hair pulled back as she gazed at her with her hands crossed in front of her, like an owl perched on the shoulder of Athena as her feelings of learning, listening and critical thinking burned hotly like a brewing cauldron and she spoke to her and said with a thick Scottish accent 'I keep your wits'**.**

Salazar Slytherin, with his sharp pointed jaw and eyes hooded to mask any emotion as he stood tall with his shoulders back**;** like a king as her feelings of self**-**righteousness, ambition and worth gleamed dangerously and he said in his drawling low baritone 'I keep your power.

And then with one last exhale, they were gone.

Slowly, Hermione opened her eyes and sighed with irritation. For the past few weeks she'd been stuck with the same problem in occlumency... controlling her emotions. The portraits of her mind**'**s embodiment of the founders were supposed to be completely dull so that she may fall into the void of compartmentalized emotions. It was something that Elphias _stressed_**; **complete compartmentalized emotions**,** but it was tricky locking everything away. She reassured herself that she could do it for she had already once a long while ago and with practice she knew she could it once more.

So taking another deep breath, Hermione tried again...and again and again.

On about her fifth try**;** when Hermione opened her eyes again she was startled to see Severus staring back at her with unreadable obsidian eyes.

"Severus!" she said breathlessly.

"What are you doing?" he asked with a purposefully dull tone as Hermione blushed, realizing how weird she must have looked sitting here without any books open with her eyes closed.

"I'm er... just...thinking?" The skeptical look Severus through let her know he wasn't buying it. "Alright, I was practicing Occlumency**,** if you must know." she said truthfully, picking up her bag to lay her books out on the table as Severus copied her.

"Occlumency? What are you practicing that for?" Severus asked as waved her hand dismissively as she opened her books.

"No reason really**; **which class did you come here to work on?" she asked, hoping to change the subject as Sev eyed her movements critically.

"Transfiguration. What stage of occlumency were you practicing?" he persisted, making Hermione pause and stare up at him narrowly before sitting back with a sigh.

"I was working on compartmentalizing my emotions but I _haven't_ really been successful. I can't seem to lock them all away properly." she admitted as Severus gave her a rare impressed look.

"How long have you been practicing for?" he asked as Hermione averted her eyes and tapped her fingers against her chair.

"A little over two months..." she lied as Severus gave an _unimpressed_ 'oh' but she couldn't tell him the truth since it was extremely hard to even separate the different emotions and build holding blocks around them. To say that she had even gotten to this stage would only illicit suspicion from her dark observant friend.

"Why?' he asked with that stare as Hermione grabbed her quill off the table to fiddle with.

"I'm curious to see if I can even accomplish it**,**" she said with a shrug. "When I read about it in Powerful Shielding: The Indestructible Minds it made it sound so impressive but it's really quite a challenge..."

"Well I would think that you would appreciate a bit of a challenge since you are the 'brightest witch in Hogwarts' Sev said sardonically before cracking a slight grin to let her know he was teasing. Hermionegrumbled in response**.**

"Careful Severus or I might think your actually jealous." she said to which he rolled his eyes.

"The only way I would be jealous of you, Black**, **is if you actually managed to succeed in this...or grow a woody and marry Lily." he said making Hermione blanch.

"Severus!" she said astonishing his crudeness as he smirked.

"Then again Lily is so pure you could probably convince her without a penis, which would kind of be ho-"

"Okay, that's enough of that you randy little snake!" Hermione said as Sev chuckled darkly showing his secret perverseness that he rarely showed Lily but had come to light to Hermione after he opened up about his feelings long ago.

"I'll stop if you teach me what you've learned so far in occlumency," Sev said a sort of calculated look in his eyes that made Hermione pause. "And get me in whatever little tutoring thing you've got going with Professor Dodge."

"What? What makes you so sure I'm-"

"Stop before I start questioning your intelligence**,** Black. You've known for a while now that Lily and I have been keeping our eyes on you-"

"Stalking, more like**,**" Hermione murmured grudgingly, which Sev ignored.

"-and have, of course, noticed you sneaking off before lunch to the Defense classroom."

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint but I'm afraid all I'm doing is practicing occlumency with Professor Dodge so-"

"Brilliant! So when's our next lesson." Sev persisted**,** making Hermione huff. She wasn't sure why she didn't want Severus involved with her lessons but she knew she didn't want him there... if only to save her dignity when Professor Dodge continuously managed to break down her flimsy barriers and invade her mind with ease.

"Why do you want to learn this so bad Sev?" she asked tiredly surprised when Severus's face turned into a guarded mask he rarely ever used on her.

"I have my reasons." he said simply, with a shrug of his narrow skinny shoulders.

Now it was Hermione's turn to be persistent as she scooted closer to him and grabbed his arm to get him to look into her eyes.

"Severus..." she warned to which he scoffed at and tried to pull his arm away. "Tell me why you want to occlumency or I'll just have to get Lily involved and you know you can't keep anything from her."

"Like how you did when you kept your wandless magic from her? Don't threaten me with Lily." he hissed seriously which almost made Hermione recoil.

"That's different Severus and you know it," she snapped back as they glared at each other. "That wasn't something that affected Lily and I haven't been her mate for half as long as you two have been. She'll be far hurt that you kept something from her that she had to find out from someone else rather than you." She was happy when a flicker of doubt crossed his face but it was short lived when he suddenly sprang up from his seat and glared down at her.

"Mind your own business Black! I don't need you to throw my own weaknesses back into my face!" He hissed before turning sharply on his feet and quickly slithering away. A slither of guilt hit Hermione that was quickly replaced with irritation.

"Fine! Then I guess you don't want to learn occlumency that badly!" she retorted hotly as Severus just turned his head to shoot her a glare before disappearing from her line of sight.

Hermione fumed with frustration for a minute, wondering what the bloody hell was wrong with the sodding idiot before she quickly grabbed her belongings to chase after him. He was one of her best friends, after all, and she could tell that his reaction to her questions meant that there was something serious going on with him and she just couldn't let it be if that was the case.

So hurriedly, she weaved her way through the book shelves and was just reaching for the library doors when they opened suddenly and crashed into her slight frame. Hermione hissed in pain at the collision before she froze at the person in front of her.

"Bloody hell! I'm so sorry Hermione!" Remus apologized profusely as Hermione's heart leaped into her throat as he pushed back her bushy hair to check her forehead for injury.

"Remus!" she said startled at his unexpected appearance as he fused over her, peering into her eyes with his hands still holding back her hair from her face.

"Hermione," he greeted with an apologetic and distinctly nervous smile as heat fused into Hermione's cheeks. "I was actually meaning to bump into you just not literally." Hermione smiled her own nervous smile, feeling put on the spot.

"Well, you succeeded." she responded trying to sound casual as her heart pounded with what she knew was inevitably coming. His next sentence confirmed her fears as he cleared his throat before fixing her with a determined look.

"Right, well... would you like to take a walk with me outside?" he asked gesturing to the library doors. Taking a deep gulp Hermione nodded.

"Sure." she said as Remus pulled open the heavy wooden door for her and they made their way through the halls in awkward silence. She used this time to get a hold of her emotions and though she felt thrown and unprepared Hermione squared her shoulders with her mind already made.

The air was frigid with the foretelling of a cold winter. Hermione pulled her cloak tighter around her as a brisk wind ruffled her hair and sneaked a glance at Remus from her the side. Catching her glance, Remus smiled a boyish grin that grew wider when Hermione's heart sped up with her blush. He slid confidently closer to her and warmth she never really noticed emitted off of Remus, spread to Hermione. She wondered if his warmth was a byproduct of his Lycanthropy and was about to ask when he suddenly stopped, making her realize they were already at the Black Lake.

The question died in her throat when Remus turned to her fully and fixed his eyes on her. Hermione shuffled her feet and crossed her arms even tighter around herself but still meet his gaze.

"_Hermione_," Remus started running a hand through his hair. "You probably already know why I've asked you to come out here since your brilliant and all..." he stated like a fact making Hermione smile at his flattery that he answered.

"What? It's the truth...anyway, I know you know I've brought you out here to talk about last night...and I know I said that I would...that I would get you to fancy me instead of Sirius," he said this blushing all the way to the roots of his hair making Hermione have to bit her lip to keep from laughing at his cute embarrassment. "But I've been thinking that that wasn't very fair of me, you know? To make you feel pressured like that-even though you did kiss me!" he said before sighing a big sigh.

"Remus, what are you telling me?" Hermione asked as Remus growled a surprising deep sound that shouldn't have surprised her.

"I don't really even know myself," he said with obvious frustration "I guess I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me and I think I might have over stepped myself...What I want to say is that the quaffle's in your hands... that is if you want me. But if you want to go back to friends then I'm okay with that too." He said with his hands in his pockets, lightly kicking a rock.

Compassion swelled deeply in Hermione at the boy in front of her putting his heart on the line. She knew from the way his eyes kept flickering to their surroundings how nervous he was and how much he was dreading her rejection. He fully expected her to take his out and go back to friends and for some reason that upset Hermione. She realized she didn't want to hurt this boy, this boy who already had suffered through hurt and insecurity for something he couldn't help. She didn't want to give him another excuse to hate himself...

"Remus," she said, stepping closer to him as she slowly, tentatively reached out a hand to grasp his warm one, raising her eyes to smile warmly up at him. "I'm hurt you would give me up so quickly. You sounded so determined when you said you'd get me to fancy you all gallantly yesterday." she teased as he blushed harder but did not avert his wide, disbelieving eyes that solidified her decision. "I suppose it's left to me then to make myself to fancy you."

"Wha- Are you saying...?" he asked with awed confusion as Hermione laughed.

"Your surprisingly daft Remus...Yes, I'm declining you offer to retract your declaration!" A wide grin broke out on Remus's face that Hermione couldn't help but mirror as finally the warm hand reacted and held hers.

"Brilliant!" he said with a goofy smile before he bent down and brushed his lips to hers.

The next morning, Hermione woke up and got ready in her usual routine before all her roommates. She had another dreamless sleep and felt lethargic as usual. It wasn't until she was shimmying on her school skirt that she paused and realized why this day was different from all others...

Because she was Remus's girlfriend.

A wave of panic and nerves had Hermione's heart sputtering that only increased as Remus's goofy face after their kiss popped into her mind. She wondered what was required of her as a girlfriend... did it mean she had to wait for him before going to breakfast? Hold his hand when they walked to classes? Maybe sneak away to snog in empty classrooms before dinner? Kiss each other in the common room before they said goodnight? She tried envisioning herself doing all of these simple and innocent things but couldn't...

Frowning, Hermione wondered how the other girls in her year could so easily date. She was happy to feel no regrets though especially when she recalled how excited Remus was yesterday. She just wanted to make him smile like that again.

So with that in mind, Hermione made her way out of the girl dorm rooms to wait for Remus in the common room. She was pleasantly surprised, however, to find Remus already down there waiting for her, his eyes guardedly gazing at her from the portrait hole with expectation. She frowned when she saw this which made Remus frown in turn.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked as she headed straight for him as he just watched her movements without a greeting. "Remus? What's the matter?" she asked impatient because of his silence. A pause followed as he gazed down at her, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Hermione followed this movement before she glared up at him.

"Remus!" she demanded as he sighed.

"I'm just waiting for you to tell me you regret it**,**" he answered in a whispered voice. Hermione gaped at him for a second before and irritated flush swelled through her and she stepped right up to him with her hands on her hips.

"Remus Lupin! Do you actually want me to be your girlfriend?" she bellowed as he winced.

"Of cour-"

"Because it seems to me like you're quite eager to break this up before it even started and I'm quite sick of it! Don't assume I'm regretting it or I'll hex you without mercy, alright!" she cried with a warning glint in her eyes that had Remus nodded furiously. "Good!" she said, straightening her shirt in her flustered, agitated state. "Good!"

Remus grinned**,** a shy half grin**,** though his eyes twinkled with relieved amusement that made her narrow her eyes.

"What?" she demanded as his grin grew and he shook his head. Grabbing her hand, Remus lead them out of the portrait hole.

"I'm just really glad you chose me**,**" he said glancing back at her over his shoulder with that special grin. She rolled her eyes and gave him a sardonic smile.

"Honestly Remus. The way your carrying on makes it seem like it is some huge honor for you when really all you're getting is a know-it-all bookworm." she said as Remus visibly bristled.

"It is a huge honor**,** Hermione! You'll never understand." he said shaking his head sadly as Hermione sighed.

"Well obviously, you'll never understand either even with your popularity as a marauder." Hermione retorted indignant at Remus's answering scoff.

"That's just James and Sirius-" he readily replied as Hermione frowned.

"Oh bullocks**,** Remus! It's you too**,** you're just too blindsided to see." she said as they finally came up to the great hall, the hands still holding one another...something Hermione did not fail to notice.

"Here we are." Remus said as they stopped in front of the Great Hall's massive oak doors. They both looked over at each other at the same time and both acknowledged what it meant to walk in together holding hands even in the early morning hours.

For a fleeting moment, Hermione allowed herself to think of Sirius and what taking this step would mean for her unresolved feelings. Marlene would no doubt pester her later and run to tell Sirius so she knew she would have to prepare herself for that. She was ready though because she wasn't regretting ever giving Remus a chance...

So with a deep breath, Hermione tightened her hold on Remus's hand and smiled at him.

'Let's go in."

Lily Evans did not like to think that she is an oblivious person, though it may be truthful. She liked to believe in people's pure intentions rather than search for the things they kept hidden, taking words and actions at face value.

Standing in the great hall with Mary and Marla on either side, Lily was forced to admit that she should start paying more attention as she watched**,** with blatant shock**,** Hermione and Remus give each other nervous smiles with their hands clasped together and trying to eat with one hand.

"M, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Marla asked in shock to her counterpart.

"Yeah M, at least I think I am if I'm not actually still dreaming some strange improbable dream of Hermione Black actually snagging herself a marauder..."

"Mary," Lily hissed, narrowing her green eyes at the girl who shrugged.

"Damn, I thought for sure that I'd fallen into some parallel universe where girls looking like...that, can actual date hot guys looking like that." Marla responded with disgust.

"Merlin, you two can be such bitches, you know that?" Lily announced before marching away from them to Hermione.

With an unsure smile, Lily sat before the two, noticing the stares and glares and the hushed conversations around them. She threw a fierce glare at the ones closet to them that immediately averted their eyes much to her satisfaction before turning her full attention at the bashful couple.

"Hello Hermione, Remus..." Lily greeted brightly eyeing Hermione pointedly.

"Lily," Hermione answered. It didn't go by Lily that her hand tightened around Remus's, and it gave her a malicious sort of pleasure that she was making her nervous. She deserved it for making her once again left out of the loop.

"Right, now that the pleasantries are over," Lily started, her bright smile turning into a frown as she leaned closer to Hermione who sheepishly backed away. "Why am I only just learning about this now, Hermione? How could you not tell me you like Remus? I can't believe you!" Lily hissed as Hermione bit her lip and Remus looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Er, I'm sorry Lily! It just happened yesterday-"

"Then you should have told me yesterday, shouldn't you!"

"No," Hermione said her eyes flashing with slight impatience. "I couldn't tell you yesterday because you were in your study group with the younger years and I was with Dumbledore" she whispered, her eyes flashing around them as Lily huffed.

"But Hermione-!"

"Listen Lily, I am sorry! I suppose I could have woken you out of your sleep to tell you but honestly, I didn't feel like having my head chewed out because you're quite grumpy when you don't get your rest, and don't argue because you know you are! Besides, it just sort of happened so quickly...not that I regret it!" she said fervently, narrowing her eyes on Remus who grinned sheepishly at her and squeezed her hand.

"Ugh! I hate it when you do that!" Lily bellowed, glaring at Hermione.

"What?" she asked glaring back.

"Take my reasons for getting angry away with practicality!" She retorted crossing her arms as Remus chuckled next to her, hiding behind a cup of orange juice when Hermione turned her glare on him.

"Well you do tend to work yourself up into quite a rut Lily." she replied smartly.

"Oh stuff it Hermione! I'm still unreasonably angry at you. I'm going to go sit with irrational people who don't spoil my fury! But you and I are going to have a little chat after classes!" She announced sternly to which Hermione just waved her away picking back up her fork.

"Yeah alright**,**"

"Scary**,** that one**,**" Remus mumbled making Hermione smile.

"You have no idea...anyway, I was thinking we could eat lunch outside today since it's so nice out and we can take a break from all the staring." Hermione said eyeing Remus from peripheral vision as she took a bite of her breakfast.

"Do you mind the staring?" he asked in turn. Hermione sighed and shook her head at him.

"No, I don't mind the staring... not that I like it either but I can ignore it easily enough..." she said shrugging.

"Because you have me...?" Remus asked cheekily as Hermione blushed. "Cause I can ignore it because of you."

"Yeah," Hermione mumbled back, her face on fire as she averted her eyes from his teasing grin.

"Hermione," Remus spoke.

"Yes?" she responded, still not looking at him.

"They're here." he said and immediately her head shot up to the great hall doors, her heart skipping a beat for a whole new reason. Her eyes instantly locked onto Sirius's but for the second time since she met him, she found nothing but an indifferent look in his eyes. A hot wave of disappointment shot through her followed quickly by guilt when she quickly looked to Remus.

Taking a quick deep breath, Hermione settled a tentative smile on her face as the rest of the marauders made a beeline for them. She looked passed Sirius to James who was smiling a genuine pleased yet slightly mischievous smile alongside Peter who was also smiling in a similar fashion. She instantly wanted to escape from these smiles knowing how much they were about to tear the mickey out of them when Remus squeezed her hand in reassurance, his own smug grin on his face.

"Can this be? Do my eyes deceive me mates or am I actually seeing Remus holding the hand of a bird?" James said with an exaggerated swoon that had all the boys grinning and Hermione rolling her eyes.

"Bird am I now, James Potter? I'll have to remember to mention that to Mrs. Potter in my next letter. She did tell me to warn her when you start 'acting cute' and doling out pet names to girls." Hermione retorted taking a sip of her drink casually as James lost his top in front of her.

"Oi! Stop your plotting with my mum Black! Or you'll find yourself the brunt of all my raunchy jokes involving filch, bestiality and furry little problems in strange disclosed places!" James threatened as Hermione smiled coyly.

"Oh good, your making threats...Mrs. Potter told me to write her when you started doing that too, it gives her enough time to think of clever little punishments for all your wrongs! How did you like working with the house elves last Christmas James? That was for when I informed her you thought muggle schools had it right making girls take classes like cooking because then you can get them to bake you pumpkin pastries whenever you wanted."

"You're a dirty cheating opponent**,** Black." James retorted with a perturbed shake of his head as Remus and Peter laughed, she ignored the bark like laughter on Peter's others side.

"Or a worthy spy." Remus said fondly gazing down at her.

"I can't believe your mum had you cooking with house elves on Christmas break." Peter howled laughing as James huffed and glared.

"Yes, she told me he actually had a knack for it; even had the courtesy of sending me a sample of his treacle tart!" Hermione said enjoying James flushed face as he glowered at her.

"Brilliant." Remus and Peter said at the same time furthering the boys' amusement.

"Har har, mates. Laugh it up. You'd do the same too if you had a mum who could freeze hell's fire with just a look. My dad swears it's that look that keeps all the gnomes out of her gardens and the pixies from eating her Lilies...speaking of Lilies..." James said, suddenly straightening up in his chair and raising his head to try to get a better view of Lily as Remus and Peter groaned in unison.

"James,' Hermione warned to which he completely ignored as he smiled like a little puppy before pulling it at his goblet and using an impressive display of magic to transfigure it into a heart to which he levitated over to the red head.

"Once again you have captured my heart this morning with your beauty Lily!" James bellowed loudly, sufficiently gathering the attention of most of the hall as Lily blushed in embarrassment but still narrowed her eyes at the boy.

"James**,** stop it!" Hermione hissed, feeling bad for her friend. She was shocked however when Sirius turned to her, the amusement on his face quickly turning into a hot glare as he stared in the eyes.

"Oh hush up! James can show his affections to Lily if he wanted without you always butting in!" he spat at Hermione god-smacked face. Immediately next to her Remus stiffened as his smile turned into a frown as he turned to his raven haired mate.

"Watch your tone, Sirius..." Remus warned but Sirius was not to be cowed as he continued to glare at Hermione who felt a rush of indignation.

"I can fight my own battles, thank you Remus! And I won't be told about butting into other people's business by the likes of you! Lily is one of my best friends and she obviously doesn't like it when James does immature things that you clever little marauders find so funny when it's actually not funny at all! It's stupid, and quite frankly a little pathetic! Like the lot of you!" Hermione bellowed hotly, not even realizing that the both of them were making quite a big scene as they glared furiously at each other.

Fury twisted Sirius's face into a cold sort of beauty, dangerous and smoldering but it didn't deter Hermione a bit, when he stood she stood right up too, ready and eager for this face off that had everyone's attention.

"Pathetic? We're pathetic? Real rich coming from you, Hermione," he hissed, twisting his face at her name like it was a curse as he leaned his hands on the table to lean towards her intimidatingly as Hermione stood her ground. "The only thing pathetic I see here is you. Hiding pathetically away behind your precious books because you too much of a coward to actually live your life. Let's face it; you're jealous**, **jealous of our freedom and bravery to experience what we feel without holding anything back. And it's ugly 'cause you think your clever...hiding behind you brains as if your above needing anyone to lean on or better because you're so independent and smart but you're really just a lonely, boring existence while me and my mates are out there existing...taking risks and enjoying life leaving you behind in your empty ugly pitiful little world-"

"That's enough, Sirius." James spoke in a 'that's final' tone, laying a heavy hand onto Sirius's shoulder, subtly pulling him away from Hermione. "You've said enough"

It looked like Sirius disagreed however, as he angrily opened his mouth to retort but Hermione didn't want to hear whatever cruel words he had left to say. With surprising speed she turned on her heel and all but fled from the great hall that was already erupting into chatter as she left. Tears blinded her vision as she ran out the entrance hall doors, uncaring of the brisk cold as she tried to run away from Sirius's words that followed her.

She felt like a fool. How could she have expected that no one else would see the disgusting truth of her hidden emotions**?** But Sirius had seen right through her and he was right in everything he said; she was ugly and pitiful. Her jealousy at everyone else, Marlene, Lily, hell even Severus! Was real and it ate away at her every day she was forced to face them. She hated the twisted fate of her life**;** she hated how normal everyone else was because she truthfully yearned for that normalcy and she hated that she couldn't blame anyone but herself for not having it.

Sirius had really cut to the core of her and bared it all out for everyone to see and all she did was prove his words true by fleeing.

Tears streamed down her face as she hazardously crashed vegetation as she came to the large pumpkin patches next to Hagrid's hut. She finally lost it as her raw hurt emotions assailed her into a sobbing mess on a rather large pumpkin. She kept thinking about all the times she had felt that icky prickly feeling of jealousy when she watched Sirius and Marlene together or when Lily was off having girl fun with Mary and Marla and countless other times she had that irrational feeling. It made her feel horrid self**-**hatred.

She wasn't sure how long she was in there stuck in those overwhelming feelings before she was no longer alone. The sound of heavy footsteps approaching her hiding spot had Hermione barley even breathing, reverently hoping that however it was would just go away...

"Are 'ya a'right the'r?" came Hagrid's low distinctive accent that had Hermione in fresh peels of tears as his warm welcoming face came into her line of sight. Surprised marred his features for a moment as he came to her.

She hastily turned her face away and wiped the back of hands over her eyes.

"Oh, I'm just fine. Your Hagrid, aren't you?" she asked, turning back to look at him when she was in better control of her emotions.

"Why, yes! How'd yer know tha'?" Hagrid asked as Hermione hastily wiped her eyes and tried to come down.

"Of course I know your name, Hagrid. You're introduced every year at the start of term feast." Hermione responded, not unkindly as _Hagrid_ blinked dumbly before nodding. It made Hermione feel even more saddened that he was so surprised to have a student remember his name.

"Righ' I knew tha', o'course!" Hagrid boomed, clapping his hands together in front of him in that nervous way Hermione remembered from her visions of the half giant. "An' yer would'n mind tellin' me why yer cryin on my pumpkin now would ya? Could 'ear yer all the ways from the kitchen**,**" Hagrid asked in a tactless way of changing the subject that had tears pooling in Hermione's eyes again.

Hagrid looked positively panicked when he saw Hermione's crushed face, automatically assuming it was something he had done.

"'Course I'm not gonna force yer if yer don' wanna' tell me! So don' cry! I didn' mean to frighten' ya!" Hagrid said trying to placate her with such distraught Hermione couldn't help her watery giggle. Obviously her abrupt change in mood had Hagrid giving her a queer sort of look as if questioning her sanity and that had her giggling even harder.

"Are yer sure yer alrigh'? I could get the nurs' for yer-" Hagrid started pointing back to the castle, looking like he was ready to flew, as Hermione reigned in her amusement.

"No, I'm sorry...I don't need Madame Pomfrey. I'm fine it's just..." Hermione started before trailing off with a sigh, gazing away from the confused half giant to stare at her hands. "I'm just having a little pity party, that's all."

"Oh," Hagrid responded sounding still very confused as an awkward silence followed. Guiltily, Hermione glanced back up at Hagrid, knowing that he wished to get away from this uncomfortable ordeal but unwilling to let him leave since she really didn't want to yet depart from the familiar sound of his voice and presence.

"I'm Hermione by the way. Hermione Black." she introduced as Hagrid looked completely taken aback, probably unused to student making conversation or even noticing him. The moment passed quickly as Hagrid positively beamed at the new found interest he was receiving.

"O' yer 'Ermione Black! Rubeus Hagrid, though yer 'ready knew tha'! I've 'eard 'bout yer from the other professors!" Hagrid said enthusiastically coming to shake her hand so hard she fell clean off the pumpkin.

"Oh sorry 'bout tha'! Forget me own strength sometimes! Yer ligh' like a feather! An' yer must be cold in only tha' flimsy swea'er! Come 'ave a cup of tea warm yerself befor' yer go back to the castle!" Hagrid offered to a smiling Hermione as he helped her up.

Hermione readily agreed and spent the rest of the afternoon ashamedly skipping her classes and finding solace sipping on Hagrid's attempt at tea. They didn't talk about her crying and for a while Hermione forgot all about Sirius's words as Hagrid tried to hide his illegal pet Diricawl that kept making squawking noises much putting Hagrid into a clumsy nervous mess that had her in peals of laughter.

It was with a heavy heart that Hermione left Hagrid's hut to attend her last class of the day, Defense. She knew that Professor Dodge would never let her hear the end of it if she skipped out and she couldn't afford to incur his wrath when she was supposed to meet him again later tonight for another lesson on Occlumency. She dragged her feet the whole way there and barley even made it on time, managing to plop her bottom in a seat close to the doors and behind the marauders.

She noticed immediately that the gang was split up in different rows which were quite unusual. Remus was sitting with Peter towards the front where Lily and Hermione usually sat and Sirius and James were on the completely opposite side of the room closer to the back. Neither parties saw her come in and to that she was grateful, however that did not last long when her partners started whispering and gesturing at her.

Sitting ram rod straight, Hermione focused on Professor Dodge as he came to the front of the classroom with his usual stern expression and tried to ignore the heavy weight of eyes on her. She was very grateful when he loudly started writing on the board, the sound of the chalk squeaking with his stroke making everyone wince and turn their attention to him.

For a moment Hermione lost all composure as she stared at the words on the board as excited whispers erupted all over the classroom. Her heart stared to pound and her hands sweat before she quickly took a steadying breath and clenched her hands on the edge of her desk.

"Quiet!" Professor Dodge bellowed immediately silencing them all as he glared around the classroom. "I have stressed since the beginning of the term that this class was a hands on training sort of class so why you all would be so surprised that your midterm will be a duel is beyond me**,**" he huffed, rolling his eyes at his students stupidity it seemed.

"The lot of you will be paired off into two groups with each group utilizing either the defense or offense spells we've covered and then will be switched accordingly so everyone has their shot at both. Keep in mind that the duel is still a month in a half away which gives you ample time to practice**,** practice**,** and practice! You won't know which group you will be in until the day of the duel so you'll need to freshen up on all the spells! And also at the very end of the year there will be a tournament of sorts where each class will rally with all the other classes for their year in one final grand match to show your progress in this upcoming duel. I'll also forewarn that there will be other outside elements to the duel since real battles are rarely every held in carefully controlled environments like a classroom. This is an event so there will be your other professors there to monitor the matches so anyone with stage fright might want to confront that fear before the dueling Now, since that's covered we will go into today's lesson on probably the longest chapter in your defense books which is dark arts offensive anddefensive spells."

"Now, this does not by any means gives any of you reason to use any of these spells in the duel. It should go without saying that any dark arts curses will immediately result in expulsion no questions asked! However, everyone needs to carry with them knowledge on the darkest spells out there to know what to look for and how to defend themselves that is why we will be going through this before the match to protect any of you who might not have privy to this knowledge before Hogwarts unlike some others. So, who can tell me the three most unforgivable curses there are in wizarding spells?"

Trembling as image after image of the curses flashed before her mind, Hermione raised her hand along with Sirius, James and some other pureblooded children in the room.

For the rest of the lesson, an every greater well of unease settled into Hermione's stomach as she thought about the upcoming duel and the next few lesson of dark magic. She did not like learning about the dark spells and she was not the only one who fled from the classroom with a pale parlor. Surprisingly, Sirius looked quite peakish as he left with James hot on his heels.

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A/N: I'll start by profusely apologizing to you wonderful readers for taking so long to update! Wow you guys gave me 23 reviews while I was gone and I was completely speechless! Thanks to you lovelies for getting me over the 200 review mark!

Because of that I decided to give you all a rather long chapter. Im ashamed to admit that I was sitting on 8000 words for at least a month but I just couldn't find a muse to write out the next 3000! I again apologize!

And if it seems as if I cut it off rather abruptly its because...I did! I just didn't want to sit on this anymore so I'm hastily putting it up without even betaing! I'll ask again if anyone would like to volunteer to be my beta for my past chapters? I don't really have the time anymore to spell check but I don't want to give you all half assed work either...

Anyway, thanks for the wonderful reviews and encouragement! I promise I won't abandon this story! And I'll make more of an effort to give speedier updates!

Until next time! if you got a question don't be afraid to Private message me and if you have a complaint and want to rant at what i've done then please pm as well ;)


	17. Snogging

**I dedicate this chapter to the following amazing people! TsukiyoTenshi Singasongortwo Booklover9477 la hegemon and last but not least! Zelma Kallas and to my fantastic Beta! _Romantically Distant!_ **

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"Buttons I'm sorry!"

Continuing to march ahead, Hermione ignored the annoy gnat that buzzed around in circles all around her with its hands clasped in an overzealous begging manner and contrite puppy dog expression.

This gnat had been quite persistently following her for over a week straight, springing up on her at all hours of the day, pleading for forgiveness, invading her space and relentlessly pestering her. It made her want to scream.

Luckily she had quickly found a way to escape this pest in the form of Remus John Lupin, her shy sweet boyfriend. The gnat always seemed to suddenly disappear whenever he was around. So knowing this, Hermione increased her speed and locked her eyes on the tallest forth year boy and made a beeline for him to shake off her newest headache.

"Buttons, please wait! I want to explain-" The gnat whimpered when she suddenly stopped and spun around, jabbing him harshly in the stomach with her satchel as she glared indignantly at him. She ignored his pain in favor of glaring icily down her nose at his hunched form.

"Explain? What is there that you could possibly explain about you calling me a no good, scheming, pathetic, little hag for no reason in front of the entire school?" She asked; her voice trembling with emotion as Sirius winced like a wounded puppy,which only made her angrier. "And would you stop wincing like that as if I'm the one who inflicted some sort of mortal wound on you!" Hermione bellowed angrily before spinning around and stomping off again.

"Please, just listen to me,Buttons-"

"No I will not just listen!" Hermione hissed darkly glaring at him. "So just leave me alone!"

And like she knew he would, he did when she finally reached Remus's side.

Face flushed from anger, Hermione took Remus's hand in her own but said no other words in greeting. A moment passed before Remus's exasperated sigh reached her ears. And that, too, further increased her retched mood since Remus hardly had a problem letting her know that he did not agree to her treatment of his friend.

"What?" she asked defensively as he sighed again as they weaved their way through the crowd.

"I gotta say I really don't approve of the way you're handling this." Remus said and immediately Hermione let go of his hand and turned her body to face off with him.

"Well it's a good thing I don't need your approval for manners regarding my own life, now isn't it?" she bit out harshly. Regret immediately filled her at Remus's hurt filled expression as so she said her next words with considerably less bite. "Besides, your hardly one to talk when you actually got into a scuffle with him."

"Yes, but that was right after the whole thing it's already been almost two weeks. Emotions have cooled and it's not like he meant them-" Remus said imploringly as she turned away from him with disgust.

"So just because he's sorry and doesn't mean it means that I should just forgive him? I'm sorry Remus but no! I refuse to put up with that kind of immature behavior! What he needs to realize is that it's not alright to hurt people like that! Cause let's face it Remus, I'm not the only person he's sent into a tizzy with cruel words!" Hermione returned heatedly as she quickly strode ahead of him to put some distance between them. Just like always, Remus backed off too and did not quicken his pace to follow hers. She sat away from him during the lessons and she didn't walk with him in the corridors, feeling too irritated.

That meant of course putting up with Sirius, who was so consistently annoying and persistent she toyed with the idea of hexing him. She didn't however, since it seemed she was vainer than she thought and secretly liked his groveling.

"Buttons-"

"For the last time Sirius!" Hermione bellowed, stomping her foot in frustration as she turned her angry eyes onto the beautiful boy besides her. It was the last class of the day and she just wanted to get it over with so she could go see Dumbledore for her newest lesson. Again, Sirius did that wincing thing that continued to irk and confuse her.

"And would you stop doing that!" She hissed harshly as she kept up her speedy walking. From the corner of her eye she saw Sirius sigh tiredly and ran a hand through his hair with his gaze dejectedly on the floor; it stirred up her compassionate side that she knew she should squash but didn't.

Stopping, Hermione sighed and turned sharply back to face him; she fixed him a distrusting gaze and held her books closer to her chest in a defensive pose all the while straightening her back to face him head on.

"Alright, how about this Sirius...I'll forgive you if you swear a wizards oath that you'll lay off the pranks, the bullying, the skipping classes and throwing parties 'cause honestly, I don't really think you mean your apology the way you are now." Hermione said seriously and was surprised at how readily Sirius agreed with a nod his head, meeting her eyes with sincerity.

"You're completely right, of course, Hermione. I haven't been acting proper to you and I am sorry! I was back out of order to yell at you like that. And if I wasn't myself I would have killed the prat who dared to talk to you like that! I'll swear on that wizarding oath if that's what you want...whatever it takes-" Sirius promised earnestly, coming over to her, into her personal, space and reaching out a tentative hand to grasp her own.

She would be lying if she didn't admit her heart didn't speed up a little at his touch and proximity. Up close, she could see just how beautiful the color of his eyes were, a pale grayish blue color ringed with dark blue to really make them pop, it reminded her of the color of a wolf or husky's eyes. They were almost disconcerting in their intensity and beauty, framed with long dark eyelashes that were completely unfair for a boy to have. With his raven hair falling into his eyes and his lips so plump and alluring...

Blinking, Hermione took a step back and tried to calm her beating heart. Danger screamed in the back of her mind...she was treading on thin ice still feeling that way when she had Remus. So with that thought, she took a calming breath and smiled at Sirius in a disconnected manner. Sensing this change, Sirius frowned and immediately came closer to her but Hermione held her hand out and kept her smile in place.

"Peace Sirius. I would never make you take a wizarding oath but so long as you really mean it then it will be fine. We'll be fine. Anyway, class is about to start so I better go..." Hermione said, backing away from a relieved but confused Sirius who continued to just stand there, watching her hasty retreat.

Later that evening, Hermione was making her way to the Headmaster's office while thinking back on the day's events.

Remus had been quite happy to hear that she had decided to stop punishing Sirius**,** even though she wasn't convinced herself that she made the right decision. However, it was done and in a way it was a relief to not have Sirius following her around when she had to go to her...extracurricular lessons.

Not for the first time, she wondered about Sirius's strange almost, unhinged behavior...he had been partying a lot more lately and he was un-relentless in his pranks; only a few weeks ago he had maliciously used some combination of charm and potion to stick all the Slytherin's to their seats during dinner. They were stuck with the teachers trying to get them off for over an hour and one poor first year had even peed because he could no longer wait.

He had also taken up the nasty habit of using a wind charm on girls' skirts to get a look at their knickers and vanishing their tops to get a look at their breasts**,** much to his mates' amusements. This angered and confused Hermione greatly since he was still apparently seeing Marlene, often times getting spotted coming out of random broom cupboards with the girl and snogging indecently in the hallways.

It seemed as if he was getting called to the head of house almost every other day from some other bad thing he had done**.** And it was worrying... he was acquiring a horrid reputation as a terrible 'bad boy' that both allured and scared the females and never failed to impress the males. Hermione sometimes wondered if it weren't for James, Peter, and Remus if Sirius would have already gotten himself expelled. Hermione just wished he really would listen to her and fix up his act; she was scared to think what he would do next if he didn't.

"Enter, Hermione." Dumbledore called before she could knock as usual.

Taking her usual seat at the proffered chair, Hermione sat down and immediately started talking.

"Professor, do you really think it would be wise to have a duel amongst the students at times like these?" she asked, narrowing her eyes on Dumbledore who sighed in a resigned manner.

"Hermione, I have already explain-"

"Yes, I understand Professor, and though I will admit that the likely hood of their being death eater students right now is illogical...I've just been thinking a lot about the risks...there might not be full-fledged death eaters but that does not mean that there won't be by the end of this year...or that there are still students who will become future death eaters and will take this opportunity-"

Dumbledore cut her off with a freezing gaze over his half-moon spectacles.

"I understand your concern, Hermione, really I do and I will not take it as a personal slight that you would think I would orchestrate something that would put my students into danger," he gently admonished as Hermione guiltily looked away. "However, my answer is still the same. Professor Dodge is right that the best way to help the students is to prepare them for the inevitable war in a hands-on manner. It doesn't mean that there will not be risks but we are fully equipped to handle any minute situation since that is all there will be with the threat of expulsion." Dumbledore said sternly, in a **'**that's final**'** manner. Hermione sighed but relented.

"Now, I would like to know how Occlumency is coming along. I will confess that I have been too busy to have a proper talk with Professor Dodge about your lessons."

"Well, I can't say it's gotten any easier but I was finally successful at building up my barriers-"

All too suddenly, Hermione felt the invasion into her mind. She blanched at the sudden forced entry into her thoughts she didn't even feel before fighting back the onslaught of Dumbledore's increasing ferocious attack.

She immediately envisioned her Hogwarts Founders, and snatched a hold of her emotions and shoved them behind her barriers. She felt Dumbledore's intrusion lessening in extremity but still persistently wracking out her memories. Calmly, she didn't allow herself to revert back and release her emotions in response to the attack; instead she went into a state of Nirvana with a completely blank slate, using an upstanding amount of will power to just not think at all.

A second later, Dumbledore's presence was gone from her mind and Hermione opened her eyes she didn't even realize were closed to gaze at the headmaster.

"You were unprepared for my intrusion at first, Hermione, which is not good. You must train your mind to always be in a state of composure since it will be essential in facing Tom when you infiltrate...however you did well to recover and quickly got your emotions and mind under control. I must ask though, that you put Occlumency above all else this year; I need it to be the first thing you practice when you wake up, when you're in between classes and before you go to bed. Can you do that for me, Hermione?" Dumbledore asked her.

Retaining a hold over her emotions, Hermione met Dumbledore's eyes and nodded curtly.

"Of Course, Headmaster." she responded as Dumbledore smiled and touched the tips of his fingers together.

"Good. Now, for our lesson tonight I would like to continue our findings with powerful wandless and nonverbal magic. Our theories last time was that in order to perform a powerful spell such as the Cruciatus curse, nonverbally and wandlessly, one must be feeling such an intense emotions like unadulterated hatred and maliciousness it would enable the user into a more reactive state of mind, much like how we used magic when we are younger, before we get our wands...with you being the exception, of course," Dumbledore continued, inclining his head slightly to Hermione who sighed.

"Yes, but I can hardly be compartmentalizing my emotions and using them to wield magic at the same time. It is obviously impossible-" Hermione started.

"Exactly, it is impossible, however," he cut off with a slight lilt to his voice that belayed his underlying excitement to her. "If we can wield the same responses that we have gotten with your magic in emotional situations to the same exact amount in a state of mind of an Occlumens..." he trailed off, letting his sentence hang between them as Hermione frowned.

"Of course that would be the desirable way for to go but I've never been able to produce stronger magic without an emotion." Hermione responded with a grimace, recalling all of the times she had lost control of herself and in turn, her power. "Besides, in the last prophecy it was love that had the power to vanquish the dark lord-"

"Hermione," Dumbledore interrupted sternly "I have already explained-"

"Yes, yes, I know. My time is obviously gone and what once was then is no longer valid now but I hardly think something like that would change. Love is-"

"Something someone such as yourself cannot concern herself with at this time. This is not about the way you will defeat Tom Riddle, this is about how you will get close enough to him to get his horocruxes. This is about climbing through the ranks and gathering as much information as you can to help save as many lives as you can. This is about becoming a sufficient spy, Hermione. Once you have done that and gotten all you could from it, then you can worry about love and using it to defeat Voldemort but until that time, finding out how to use your wonderful, powerful magic without your emotions like a true Occlumens is your only mission...you can leave the rest of the planning to me." Dumbledore ordered as Hermione sat there speechless but resigned because he was completely right.

"Now, I will be going to visit an old friend of mine for the next two weeks to find out more about your powers and this Odette since all my other research has proven to be rather fruitless. I'll be back in time for the duel..."

Hermione's frown deepened with the reminder of the upcoming duel, which Dumbledore took note of.

"You know you have nothing to be worried about Hermione." Dumbledore said as Hermione scoffed before remembering herself and started blushing.

"I'm sorry Professor, it's just...I'm hardly worried for myself. I'm more worried of myself and what I might accidentally do in front of or to others." Hermione confessed a little taken aback when Dumbledore scoffed back at her before he smiled kindly.

"You worry needlessly, Hermione. You have shown through your Occlumency that you have an excellent hold over your emotions. Consider this a personal obstacle as a sort of practice run for your actual mission. You should strive to do your best, to perform adequately and efficiently to impress but not lose control over yourself to brew speculation or suspicion. It's a fine line and a deadly dance but I'm more than confident in your abilities Hermione."

Though his words were meant to comfort, at first Hermione could only feel a pressure building even through her barriers. It was hard to suppress the fear of failure but somehow Hermione managed as they began their wandless, nonverbal tests, her determination to prove Dumbledore right becoming her strongest emotion**;** driving all else out like she wanted it to. Another fine point of Occlumency was being able to choose the emotions you wanted to actually feel and express with no outside force able to change it. Hermione was very proud by the end of the lesson as she set off for Gryffindor tower that she was able to maintain it.

She held such a strong reign over them that she didn't even flinch when Remus suddenly and silently emerged next to her from the darkness of the hallway. They simply stared at each other for a long moment in the serenely quiet corridor each taking the peculiar air the other carried...to him because of her Occlumency she seemed so completely cold and closed off it was disturbing**.** And to her**,** he seemed too quiet and his eyes too predator**-**like to be human as he stood impossibly still.

Yet, even with this strangeness that encompassed them both, they still silently walked side by side back to the tower.

The next day, as Dumbledore requested, when Hermione woke up she immediately focused on closing off her mind and not just doing the usual compartmentalizing but actually going further and becoming a blank slate, thinking of nothing and feeling absolutely nothing. She stayed in that state for a long time while doing her menial tasks like brushing her teeth and doing her hair. She wondered at breakfast how long it would take before being in that state would stop feeling so abnormal and just become second nature to her.

She was interrupted from her thoughts though when James threw a perfectly aimed blueberry right between her eyes to get her to 'snap the hell out of it' since apparently it was creepy to James for her to be staring so blankly at her goblet of orange juice. In her defense, Remus hexed James's drink to stain his entire mouth a strange green color for the rest of the day, though Hermione suspected he did it mostly out of his own mischievous tendencies he rarely showed.

Remus didn't ask her about her strange behavior that night and she didn't offer any answers. She knew why he was acting strange though since a full moon would be coming up in a day's time and he always seemed to get more...animalistic close to the full moon. It was why she didn't get exasperated when he would come to pick her up after her private lessons or did things she would otherwise do herself like fix her plate at meal times or pick her seat in classes. Instead she let Remus do his werewolf thing and let him take her plate to pile on food before giving it back to her and let him take her arm and pull her next to him in the rows closer back towards the doors rather than the Professor's.

And although this sort of treatment went against everything Hermione knew, she also knew that Remus was not doing this in an overly macho display of ownership as many of their peers liked to think. It was simply because he, as a lycan, had the urges to do for his 'pack' things like picking their food and needing to be close.

That's why it didn't come as too much of a shock to her when she found herself facing a horny, anxious Remus in an empty classroom at dusk.

She knew he was horny by the way he kept looking at her mouth, licking his lips and changing the position of his legs; she could tell he was anxious because he kept rubbing his undoubtedly sweaty hands together and because he could never look at her mouth for too long, averting them to the wall and then back to her lips.

He had approached her when she had been on her way to the library asking if they could talk and then leading her to this empty room. Hermione was far from stupid, however, and in the silence that followed she caught on to Remus's mood. He wanted to snog. Yet he still made absolutely no move to kiss her.

It surprised her**,** the kind of feeling this knowledge brought her. Surprise, though she really shouldn't be considering Remus's and her new steady status, yet she had never really found herself to be pretty or desirable. Far from that, in fact; she was bookish, boring and completely plain. But Remus wanted to snog her. She couldn't help but giggle.

"What's so funny?" Remus asked with his own small nervous smile. Hermione let herself run high on that giggly emotion, drinking in the sight of him standing with the twilight at his back in this quiet private moment just between them.

"Nothing." she said before closing the distance between them, standing on her tip toes and placing her lips onto his.

This being only her third kiss in her life, Hermione still found the feeling of lips rubbing together still a little strange if not a little boring since in all scenarios of her kisses it had only ever been closed mouthed presses of lips . She wondered why so many girls liked to brag about their kissing exertions but that all floated out of her mind when the next second Remus did something. He caught her top lip between his lips and flicked his tongue out totaste before releasing it and doing the same to her bottom.

Blushing, Hermione felt herself becoming even more flustered when Remus groaned low in his throat and raised his hand to cradle the back of her neck, opening his mouth over hers. She immediately copied him and he took that opportunity to stick his tongue into her mouth, to which she reacted instinctively by reaching out her own tongue to touch his. She had a startling thought that this sensation of tongue against tongue was not unfamiliar but unmistakably as if she had done this before and she supposed that she must have as Hermione Granger but strangely she could not remember when or with whom.

Surprisingly, despite his eagerness at first, it became Hermione who dominated the kiss after that, stroking his tongue, pulling and nibbling on his lips, even sucking. It made Remus a groaning, moaning mess and he was the one that backed himself against the wall but it was Hermione who put his hands on her hips and stepped up closer so their bodies were pressed together.

A second later, though, she was pushed away, Remus groaning this time unhappily as he broke the kiss, breathing heavily with his face completely flushed and his hair mused and sticking up in a way that made him look extremely boyish. Hermione knew she was in hardly a better state, still reeling in surprise at the notion that she had done this before and actually knew what she was doing and what she liked without even knowing how she did.

"H-Hermione?" he choked out, his lidded lust filled eyes still boyishly shocked at being kissed so thoroughly by her. It instantly made her feel guilty even though she knew she had nothing to feel guilty about.

"I'm sorry-" she said immediately as he ran a hand through his hair, a habit Hermione knew he picked up from James.

"What? Why? That kiss...that was..."he tried to explain though he was obviously lost for words with shock at her brazenness.

"I know Remus. I'm sorry, I don't even know where that came from...I guess I just lost control-" she started, thinking he was shocked at her kissing and was probably some closet floozy like Mary and Marla...shudder at the thought.

"You lost control? Merlin, Hermione... isn't it obvious that a second longer and I probably would have... you know what, never mind... Anyway, just don't, don't apologize for any of that, alright? I am probably a little too happy that my girlfriend can snog as ingeniously as she can wield magic!" Remus boasted, immediately flooding Hermione with relief and a little bit of confidence. "I am most definitely the luckiest bloke in this castle."

"Oh stop Remus! Plenty of girls can snog-" she said waving her hand dismissively that Remus reached out and took in his own to hold.

"Yeah, but none of them are my girlfriend so that hardly means anything since it wouldn't work on me if it wasn't you to be honest." Remus said with a sheepish shy grin.

The smile those words brought onto Hermione's face was so bright it took an hour for it to even fade.

After that, Hermione's weeks before the duel were spent in mostly the same manner; Occlumency, school work, and now the added inclusion of snogging. Even after Remus came back from the full moon blues he still wanted to snog a lot and unsurprisingly, Hermione obliged him.

Even better, Sirius had cleaned up his act...well sort of. He at least came to classes although he still did pranks**,** but they were harmless kind of pranks**,** like charming Slughorn's hair pink and throwing dung bombs into the Slytherin's Qudditch changing rooms after their practice. He was still promiscuous however, which still bothered Hermione but he'd at least stopped spelling the girls skirts to fly up in the hallways.

Instead he was constantly making out with Marlene in the corridors...or flirting with a gang of fiendish vixens like Marla and Mary. Hermione couldn't help but start to feel bad for Marlene; there just always seemed to be a gang of girls following him around. Or at least she had started to before she saw with her own two eyes how Marlene handled them.

He was backed up on the wall by the Great Hall doors by Marla, Mary, and...Alice. Alice wasn't leaning into him quite like Mary and Marla were but she was still blushing as she always did when she was in Sirius's presence and staring at him with twinkling brown eyes in obvious fancy. Hermione couldn't help but grimace at this all too familiar scene when Sirius caught her eyes.

He was still holding her gaze even as Marlene swept into the scene with practiced confident strides. She didn't even pause to acknowledge the other younger girls that looked like mere huffing children as she brushed them aside to get to Sirius. She then stepped right in front of him, raising a dainty hand to cup the side of his cheek and pull his face towards hers.

Sirius's gaze was still locked on hers even as Marlene planted her lips onto his and started making out, he just kept looking at her from the corner of his eye until she couldn't help but stop and stare right back. He then winked at her and placed his hands on the back of Marlene's long lean thighs and trailed his fingers up her legs raising her skirt as his hands cupped her ass and pulled their hips together.

Hermione couldn't help but blush at the indecent public display and avert her eyes only to catch Alice looking back at her. Feeling ashamed for even blushing, Hermione quickly scurried away from the scene only to stop when she heard a gasp that sounded like someone took a bludger to the stomach. Turning her head she found Sirius's little brother Regulus standing frozen by the entrance to the Slytherin dungeons.

Curiosity burned in Hermione as she took in his furious face, red from indignation. His eyes were locked on Sirius and Marlene and his fists were clenched so tight she was positive that he was leaving half**-**moon indented into his palms. She watched with fascination as he quickly withdrew his wand and pointed it at the two snogging and it was like time slow as she lip read the curse forming on his lips.

He didn't even get to finish it before Hermione's wandless 'Expelliarmus!'hit him and had his wand soaring out of his hand. Before his eyes could land on hers however, she turned back around and reached out for the Great Hall doors, pausing as she saw Alice's wide brown eyes following her movement. Panic invaded Hermione who could only touch a finger to her lips in a 'be silent' message that Alice clearly got as she nodded her head fervently back at her.

After that Hermione quickly fled into the Great Hall and avoided everyone for the rest of the day, vowing silently to herself to not interfere again...though she knew that it was wishful thinking on her part.

It did give her much to think about regarding a certain second year by the name of Regulus Black. She had yet to pay much mind to the Sirius's brother, having the real need to seek him out but now she was curious... what was that strange reaction to seeing his brother making out with some tall blonde floozy? She couldn't think up a reasonable explanation and that was reason enough alone to have her hunting for answers.

In what felt like no time at all, the day of the duel arrived. Thankfully since the duel was announced Hermione had lost her nervousness from the combined help of Occlumency and...snogging.

So it was with little trepidation that Hermione made her way to defense against the dark arts classroom, the first class of the day, with Lily and Remus at her sides, the rest of the marauders trailing behind them.

"Bloody hell, yes!" she heard Sirius say behind her as they and most of their classmates crowded around the door to read the sign hanging.

"Have we ever had a lesson outside of the classroom before?" Lily asked curiously as both Hermione and Remus shook their heads.

"Why do we have to go down to the Quidditch pitch?" a Ravenclaw student, named Henry, asked in front of her to his mate William who shrugged broad shoulders.

"Search me," he responded as they all turned around and made their way to the Quidditch pitch.

"Maybe we'll be fighting each other on brooms!" Peter squeaked excitedly next to James and Sirius in front of them. Hermione couldn't help but roll her eyes at the preposterous suggestion.

"If that the case then we all know I would definitely out maneuver everyone in this class and beat you all without even breaking a sweat." James said arrogantly as he ran a hand through his hair to ruse it even further, throwing Lily a wink over her shoulder that immediately had her scowling. Sirius laughed and slightly pushed him, making James stumble into Peter.

"Right, keep telling yourself that Potter but the only reason why your half as good on that broom is because you have me watching your back during the games... Just don't be too embarrassed when I'm kicking your arse all over the pitch like a bloody football." Sirius said smirking darkly to James, whose face also morphed with the new challenge.

"Boys," Hermione muttered to herself, rolling her eyes. She looked up when Remus's hand squeezed her own to meet his amused gaze.

"What, we species too dumb and immature for your tastes, princess?" Remus asked with a coy smile.

"Well, maybe not all boys," she said with a small smile, lightly bumping his side as they walked. "But your mates definitely,"

"I just think it's sad that those boys are second and third in our year while good smart guys like Remus are below them. It's completely in-explainable!" Lily retorted hotly from Hermione's other side, her arms folded tightly as she glared at James's back.

It had been a bitter moment for Lily when she was unable to hold up the second place position under Hermione after their first years...even bitterer to find out that James had stolen the spot quickly followed by Sirius. Even Hermione had to wonder how they did it since she hardly, if ever saw them in the library and they rarely took notes during classes. Meanwhile Lily was hitting the books almost, though not quite as much as Hermione. Remus for his part was also a bookworm but his taste in literature was far less academic then Hermione. So, while he read a lot, it did nothing to improve his schoolwork.

"You give me too much credit Lily..." Remus said honestly, continuing even after Lily's harsh scoff. "Besides James and Sirius are closet academics...they mostly do their studying and school work in the dorms away from scrutiny."

"Oh come off it Remus! Who studies in their dormitory? Besides, you'd have to take out at least a single book from the library in order to get grades half as good as they do and I've never even seen those boys in there even once!" Lily said as they finally went outside, the cold winter air, immediately chilling Hermione and making her shiver.

"Trust me Lily, they really do study and with library books...just don't ask me how they get them **'**cause I honestly don't know but I've seen them! I think they don't go to the library and study because they think the girls will think them less cool?" Remus said saying a quick thank you to Hermione when she did a warming charm on all three of them...nonverbally...all at once.

"I'm sorry Remus, but I'll believe it when I see it." Lily responded as they came upon the pitch.

Instantly as they stepped into the field, Hermione felt a rush like walking through a waterfall, a telltale sign of an invisible barrier. In the center of the field, Hermione could see the short, stocky Professor Dodge waiting for them but with three additions Hermione could not see since they were completely covered in black. Behind them the field pitch was matted down with box like props strewn all around.

Hermione couldn't help but shiver again as she got closer and could start to see the three figures more clearly, as they stood tall in their black pointed cloaks looking very much reminiscent of Death Eaters. Remus squeezed her hand and when Hermione raised her eyes she could read the question on Remus's face, but she quickly just shook her head and focused on Professor Dodge. Hermione could practically feel Lily's excitement and curiosity that sat with most of the students in their class, though there were some who just stared blankly at the three cloaked figures, like Mulciber, Avery and horrifyingly Severus.

That made Hermione pause for a second. She had not gotten a chance to get Severus alone since that day he stormed off from the library**;** she had been too distracted by Remus and Occlumency. She knew now that would have to change and vowed to get the little snake alone sometime today.

"Alright, listen up you yelps!" Professor Dodge greeted as per his usual cheer. "Now here's how this lesson shall go. You're all going to be sorted into three groups. Each group will have assigned a different task. The first group will be the attackers, the second the defenders and he last group the healers. Now, Madam Hooch, Madam Pomfrey and Gamekeeper Ogg have volunteered to help by being or pseudo-villains A quick refresher for you all...who can tell me what color the killing curse is?" Professor Dodge asked, his stern blue eyes racking the crowd of students.

Immediately Hermione's hand went up along with a few other students including Lily, Remus, James and Sirius.

"Go ahead Black." he called. Both Sirius and Hermione answered with surety 'green' making Professor Dodge grumble to himself for a second about bloody names.

"Right to the both of you; who can tell me the color for the torture curse next?" he asked as again a far few hands rose, this time Hermione's was not among them.

"It's red." Mulciber said with a smirk before Professor Dodge could call on someone. Wilkens sniggered as Avery and Severus stood tensely next to them meeting no one's gaze.

"I didn't pick on you Mulciber! Five points from Slytherin for speaking out of turn." he bit back, getting into a mini stare down with the angry Slytherin that he won twenty seconds later. "Now who can tell me the color for Imperius Curse?" he asked roughly.

"It's not a color at all." a Gryffindor blonde girl with glasses, Eleanor, answered.

"Correct. The Imperius Curse is more like a mist but for the sake of this lesson it will be a purple streak. Now, throughout the duel, our three 'villains' will be randomly swooping into the duels and hitting you all with one of these streaks. When you are hit you will immediately have to stop your fight and drop to the ground. That is where the healers come in. If you are a healer, you mission is to get the fallen and bring them to the designated health spot, which are out zones just outside the matted area over there.

"Now for how the duels will go...there will be two main groups, the attackers and the defenders. Both teams will be using all attack and defensive spells we have learned so far, and don't think I won't be watching to make sure you lot are using more than one spell. Your grade will suffer if you don't use all the spells! If you're a healer than you too have to watch out because any one from which group can choose to attack if you help their enemy, you also don't get to capture any ties but the more 'lives' you save by getting off the 'war zone' the more 'ties' you earn. You will also have to duel if get intercepted while trying to save a fallen person.

"I want to make this clear that this is not a one on one fight, everyone from separate groups will be battling! So I don't want anyone to be singling out just one person! After I've set up the groups, all of you must pick up a blue for defense tie or a red for attack and tie it onto your upper arm. These ties represent your life so even if you are disarmed use the props I've laid out to stay out of danger and try to get your wand back! Oh and if you are a healer you get a yellow one.

"If you manage to disarm and get this tie from your enemy than you have successfully defeated the person, got it? The only way you can get your life back is if a healer comes and 'saves' you if they can manage not getting their own tie taken away that is...The person who collects the most ties by the proper means is the winner. Oh and remember to keep an eye out for any villains!"

"Alright, now let's get you into groups." he said, rubbing his hands together.

Hermione watched as Professor Dodge roamed around the crowd flicking flags at people with his wand as he assigned them. All too soon, he was upon Hermione, their eyes meeting briefly before a nonchalant 'healer' was thrown her way along with a yellow tie.

Frowning, Hermione let Remus helped her get the yellow tie around her upper arm; her own eyes staring at his read flag, next to her Lily already had her blue tie on her.

"Well this is far more exciting than I thought it would be!" Lily said, that confident competitive side lighting her beautiful green eyes as she tied her long golden auburn hair back.

"Yeah, I didn't know what to expect but this was the last thing I thought would happen..." Remus answered as Lily nodded.

"And it's far better than battling on brooms." she added snidely, her eyes narrowing on James who was looking quite eagerly between Sirius and Peter. They were all three on separate teams, Peter with her as a healer, James as an attacker and Sirius as a defender. Hermione didn't doubt that they were placing bets between each other on who would win more ties.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's going to be fun!" she responded.

Famous last words.

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**A/N:** Wow thanks for the reviews! I've sent private messages to you all so please read them! I've decided to get split up the duel since I didn't want you all to have to wait any longer! Hope you don't mind... I don't know if you can notice but I decided to change the duel up some to make it more interesting. At first it was going to be the standard one on one type thing but I thought it to be boring! I can't tell you how many times I had to write and then rewrite what I was going to do for it... I even had a whole dueling scene written that I chucked since I didn't think it had enough action. I figured I wanted it to almost be like a physical education type lesson, like dodge-ball and capture the flag...It's very 'muggle' I know but still it will be fun!


	18. Destroyed Wand

Thanks to my fantastic beta **Romantically Distant**! and to you readers!

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Great gasping puffs of air, tore through Hermione's throat as she ran with all her might in the rain. She tried not to stumble on the slick mats and to continue forward through the smoke that addled her vision. She huffed in annoyance and wordlessly vanishing the smoke around her, her eyes scouring around her frantically.

There, not even ten feet away from her was the reason for her panicked running...her fallen comrade healer, Marcus Stam. She quickly ran forward towards him, but lost balance on the wet mats, falling harshly onto her knees. Growling Hermione pointed her wand down at the ground and did a quick drying spell, while her eyes scanned all around her for any danger.

Damn that Dodge for neglecting to mention he set up weather traps all over the place! Now on top of having to dodge spells, watch out for the villains and try to save people, she had to deal with rain, snow, thunder and lightning, darkness and blinding sunlight!

A bright pink, pulsating spell whizzed past Hermione, forcing her to immediately drop down onto her stomach a few feet away from her target. Rolling onto her back, Hermione raised her wand defensively as her eyes fell onto her attacker.

Marla's face was set like stone as she advanced on Hermione. Narrowing her eyes her, Hermione whispered a tripping jinx at the girl whose eyes widened as they spell headed straight for her.

She rose up onto her feet as she gave Marla the courtesy of waiting for her to block the spell before she sent another jinx her way. This time it was a rather harmless tickling charm that she sent her way. Marla blocked that easily, sending her own spell at Hermione that was not as nice, Furnunculus. She blocked it with an easy flick of her wrist. She retaliated far faster this time, shooting 'Petrificus Totalus!' and 'Confundus!' simultaneously at the girls feet so she had to jump up and down to avoid them.

"You are such a sodding bitch!" Infuriated, Marla's face twisted into an ugly expression as she let lose an enraged sound. Hermione just glared back, crossing her arms in a nonchalant manner as she waited for Marla's next move.

She realized that she was maybe enjoying playing with Marla a bit too much. The girl hardly was a real threat to Hermione but it seemed almost too mean to just shoot out a powerful Expelliarmus and be done with it. She did have a knocked out healer to get too though so she would give it about another minute...

**But then****,** **a villain appeared through the mists**, gliding far too similar to a dementor and looking far too much like a death eater. Fear spiked through her for half a heartbeat before she acted. Throwing up a powerful shield that didn't even waver when Marla sent out another curse, Hermione ran toward her fallen comrade, no longer paying Marla any mind as she threw herself onto the ground next to him.

Pointing her wand to his chest she did a nonverbal **'**Ennervate!**'** and fixed his terribly bruised face with a few **'**Episkey!**'** as his eyes fluttered open.

"Hermione?" he asked groggily, his eyes slipping closed once more.

Hermione glanced back over her shoulder to find the villain heading their way, Marla 'dead' on the ground. With a strength surprising for such skinny arms, Hermione heaved Marcus upright forcibly, adrenaline burning through her veins.

"We've got to go Marcus, brace yourself on me." Hermione ordered, taking his arm and pulling it around her neck, using her other arm to hold him around the waist. The boy groaned, his eyes still closed but taking a step nonetheless.

"Hurry, Marcus! Faster!" Hermione added glancing back and seeing the 'villain' coming for them. Hurrying their steps, so close to a small safe zone she knew was around, Hermione looked at Marcus and his sluggish movements, barely conscious and made a decision. Raising her hand, Hermione concentrated and thought 'Tabernus!' in her head, causing Marcus to float next to her. Not even sparing a glance to see if anyone saw her cast a seventh year spell, Hermione started to run with him trailing behind her.

The difference between 'Wingardium Leviosa!' and 'Levicorpus!' is that the 'Tabernus' spell did not require the caster to continuously concentrate on keeping the object afloat. In this case, Marcus will just hover alongside Hermione and she could cast other spells at the same time, very convenient in battle. Hermione kept that in her mind as a green light flew just past her elbow.

Turning sharply on her heal, Hermione raised her arm and shout out 'Expelliarmus!' at the villain floating straight for them with surprising speed, dodging the spell rather effortlessly. Biting her lip, Hermione had half a second to decide whether she should engage in a duel and finish it quickly with a nonverbal **'**Accio!**'** to the villains wand or to run away and risk getting 'killed' waiting for someone to then come save her.

Steeling her resolve, Hermione fell into a defensive stance and faced down the villain, non-verbally directing Marcus the rest of the feet into the safe zone where someone would eventually tend to him. In her head she knew that there was nothing to really fear since the spells that these villains threw were harmless, but she also knew that pretty soon she wouldn't be facing a fake villain but a very real one, the death eaters and Voldemort. She needed to take this seriously**; **she needed to be ready because unlike this lesson she wouldn't get a second chance out there.

She steadily let a breath as she simultaneously raised her wand, emptying her mind but releasing a spell without a word. The spell was blocked with ease by the villains shield charm so Hermione decided to change tactics and through two spells in quick successions, putting the villain on the offensive. She had to jump when the villain let out a blue streak, taking cover behind a rock with Marcus trailing after her.

She was struck with an idea in that second, grabbing a small stone, Hermione disillusioned it and that hit it over and over again with 'Engorgio' until she could no longer hold it up and she had to put it down.

'Wingardium Leviosa!' she cried feeling the massive weight of the rock with the amount of will she had to hold it. Hermione stood then, just in time too as the rock she was hiding behind exploded.

Quickly facing the villain again, Hermione dropped the rock in front of her and then screamed out a shield charm, using the rock as a second line of defense.

The villain shot off another 'unforgivable' curse as Hermione wordlessly sent out a stunner before quickly shouting 'Expelliarmus!' This move was just what Hermione wanted. She knew that 'Protego!' wouldn't block the killing curse but the rock did, taking the hit an exploding the rock just as Hermione knew it would. So while the villains spell was destroyed, Hermione's was not, and catching the villain off guard whom thought she only had a shield charm, both of Hermione's spell hit their target.

Hermione caught the wand just as the villain crumbled to the ground, stunned. She stood there blankly for a minute staring down at the villain turned victim before the sound of footsteps had her spinning on her heal to face her newest enemy, wand raised and spell on the tip of her tongue.

"Buttons!"

"Hermione!"

Blinking, as the voices of Sirius and Lily registered, Hermione swished her wand and vanished the fog around them, bringing the two running figures into her line of site.

"Lily, Sirius!" Hermione hollered, waving at them as she met them halfway, closer to a small line of trees.

"I've been looking all over for you!" Lily cried, reaching out to hug a surprised Hermione. They shared a smile, Hermione noticing the hazardous appearance of her normally spectacular looking friend. Her flaming hair was knotted and tied back away from her dirty faced smudged with grim and she had a scratch on her cheek.

'Episkey!' Hermione said, pointing her wand at the scratch that quickly healed.

"Oh, thanks." Lily said, Hermione waving her hand.

"No problem, so tell me what has happened to you two? Sirius, you look..." Hermione trailed off, eyeing his torn up shirt and hair with twigs sticking out of it along with his cut bottom lip, though she tried not to stare at those lips for too long. The proud smile he grinned down at her threw her off for a moment as she busied herself healing his minor injuries.

"This? This is nothing, you should see the other guy**,**" he winked before a cocky smirk that both angered and charmed her fell onto his face. "Why, you worried for my pretty face Buttons? You gonna avenge my honor?"

Rolling her eyes, Hermione scoffed, averting her eyes from his. She stepped back, her startled eyes meeting his again when he bent his head down closer to hers, that same grin on his face, completely at ease with the close proximity.

"I have to admit," he whispered conspiratorially into her ear, making thrill shoot down her spine at the feel of his breath, every nerve ending coming alive "I find it kind of hot when you let loose with your magic."

Hermione took a step back away from him, turning her head to hide her blush, catching Lily's narrowed green eyes in the process. She held her gaze for a moment, Lily tilting her head to Sirius in a 'what the hell!' kind of gesture that had Hermione looking away guiltily.

"Har, har, Sirius," Hermione said lamely, ignoring the jolt in her heart at his chuckle still so close to her. "I don't know why you would say that since I think it's hardly hot, as you say, at destroying things and hurting your mates."

Eyes gleaming, Sirius took a step closer to her.

"Anyway!" Lily interrupted, bluntly grabbing Hermione's arm and pushing her closer to her, "Wait, Hermione..." Lily trailed off, her eyes widening as they landed on the fallen villain now in her line of sight. "Did you beat a villain Hermione?" Lily asked. Sirius followed her line of sight before a crocked grin touched his face.

"Wicked." he said making both girls roll their eyes.

"I would hardly say it was wicked**,** Si-"

Turning her head to look at him, Hermione saw Sirius falling to the ground, stunned, as both hers and Lily's wands flew out of their grips. Shocked at the unexpected attack, Hermione and Lily both turned on their heels to face their attackers completely taken off guard.

A dark chuckle wiped the befuddled expressions from their faces as Mulciber and Wilkens stepped out from the forest behind them, twirling Hermione and Lily's wands in their hands.

"Well well, well, look at what's just standing around like a bunch of stupid muggles... a mudblood and an imposter." Wilkens said as Mulciber laughed.

Hermione's fist clenched at her sides as she glared heatedly at the two fools.

"Don't you dare call her that," Hermione hissed as red hot anger coursed through her.

Both boys oo-ed and laughed at Hermione's display of anger, though Lily reached out and gently touched her hand in warning. Looking her up and down, Mulciber licked his lips and stepped up in front of her, a nasty glint in his eye.

"And what will an impostor like you do if I call her a filthy," at this he moved his head dangerously close to hers annunciating every word and tapping the tip of his wand against her cheek "disgusting, useless mudblood?"

Refusing to back down, Hermione kept her eyes glaring into his, as his breath hit her face eliciting a completely different response from Sirius who stood at **a much closer distance just **a **moment** ago.

"Hey you get away from her you prick!" Lily bellowed fiercely.

"Ah**,** ah**,** ah, mudblood**,** no one gave you permission to speak." Wilkens said condescendingly wagging a finger at her before quickly hitting her with a **'**Silencio!**'** and then a body bind curse.

"How dare you!" Hermione hissed**; **hot blooded rage coursing through her body as the skin of her back started to tingle very slightly.

"You got a problem impostor? Mad that we can just shut your pathetic little mudblood up? Well guess what blood traitor?" Mulciber growled, roughly grabbing Hermione's face with his hand to jerk her head back to his a cruel smirk. "The ones with the wands have all the power and you and your little friend are going to learn that today."

"What do you want to do with them?" Wilkens asked with his own perverted smirk as he stepped behind Lily and ran his hands up and down her bound arms, breathing in her hair.

"Let's bring them back to that little forest, we'll practice a bit of _crucios_ on them before we have some real fun and then Obliviate them after." Mulciber mused fisting a hand into her hair and tugging her head back. "But not until I'm thoroughly done teaching you your place beneath me."

Enraged, Hermione curled her lips back in a snarl before spitting right into his face.

"Go to hell!"

For a moment, Mulciber just stared down at her blankly, reaching up to touch the spit on his face but then he smirked at her and placed those fingers into his mouth, sucking before he back handed her, his other hand still fisted in her hair.

Immediately, Mulciber was thrown back from Hermione. Shocked, Hermione spun around and froze; before her stood Sirius unlike she had ever seen him before, his face a cold mask of danger. His eyes stilted and dark as the wind blew all around him, his wand raised and ready to strike again.

"Oi! Put the wand down now, Black or the mudblood _gets_ it!" Wilkens bellowed, holding Lily tightly against him with his wand pointed at her throat. For a second, Hermione thought he wouldn't listen as he turned those cold as ice eyes on him, but then he threw it down gruffly, hate on every line of his face.

Smirking, Wilkens quickly dragged Lily with him to snatch the wand before he pointed it at Sirius again just as Mulciber groaned and sat up from the spot he landed in.

"Crucio!" Wilkens bellowed pointing his wand at Sirius.

Time moved slowly then with so many things happening at once. Wilken's throwing that despicable cowardly curse at Sirius, Lily biting down hard onto Wilkens arm, James appearing from the mist with Remus, just as Severus appeared with Avery and then Hermione...

It was like a switch.

She just screamed, felt a tearing in her back, heard a sound like a phoenix's cry, felt the howling wind adrift with its force.

_How dare he?_ Hermione thought, her eyes widening on Wilkens as magic and power swarmed around them, _he doesn't deserve to hold that wand! How dare he try to hurt Sirius with that spell! How dare he use that wand for such a purpose! He has no right! Destroy it!_

Swinging an arm up and around her head with force and anger, Hermione pointed her hand at his cursed wand thinking of destroying it, disintegrating it. The next second, her spell collided with Wilkens's Crucio, shattered it apart into little sparks and struck point blank into his wand**.** The purple electric bolts of the spell shooting up the wand and creating cracks that quickly turned into dust and scattered in the wind.

Everyone gaped at Wilkens now empty hand with shock for a moment, before he turned his horrified eyes up to Hermione's.

"You bitch," he said blankly for a second before it quickly turned into anger and he was glaring at her with pure**,** unadulterated hatred. "You fucking bitch! I'll kill you!"

Just like that, time speed up again, Sirius quickly launching to grab his wand as Wilkens pushed Lily down away from him in a mad dash for Hermione, James using those seeker reflexes to catch her before she fell, Mulciber lifting his wand to curse her, Remus running as he bellowed out a shield charm to protect her just as Sirius let out a curse to Mulciber and Severus and Avery joined the fray.

And there Hermione stood amiss them, staring down at her hands in shock at how easy it was to break his wand, how hungry she was _for__ retaliation, __for__ retribution, __for__ destruction_. It's wrong, Hermione thought, staring down at her pale hands. This power is wrong, not a blessing like Dumbledore thinks...this is something that just isn't right.

"Hermione watch out!" James bellowed, jolting her from her dazed state.

Looking up she saw a spell heading straight for her but James had reached her, knocking them both over onto the ground as the spell whizzed safely above them. From her spot on the ground, Hermione could see the chaos all around her as James quickly jumped back onto his feet and headed to where Sirius and Remus were battling it out with Severus, Avery and Mulciber. Lily was busy kicking a tied up Wilkens in between his leg before she saw Hermione and quickly sprinted over to her, her face worried as Hermione sat back up.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt from the fall? I saw James save you from that spell..." Lily fussed around her, not even realizing she hadn't called James, Potter probably for the first time ever.

"It's not right Lily." Hermione said, turning her eyes to the stupified Wilkens. This power isn't right and if Voldemort finds out...NO! I can't let that happen!

"What isn't right? Are you-oh my Hermione the back of your shirt!" Lily screeched but Hermione wasn't listening.

Rising to her feet Hermione moved to the boys fighting. When she was a few feet away she raised both of her hands.

"Expelliarmus!" she bellowed, and just like that all six of the boys wands were in her hands, plus her own that shot out from Mulciber's pocket.

Immediately all of the boys turned to her but before anyone could say a word or take a step towards her, Hermione pointed her own wand and Severus's at Avery and Mulciber.

"Somnus!" she spoke and instantly they feel to the ground into deep REM sleep.

Flicking her wand over at Wilkens that made him float over to her, Hermione knelt boy the three unconscious boys and set to work.

"Er, Hermione?" Remus questioned uncertainly to which she ignored.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doin'Hermione!" James bellowed.

"Oi! Don't you talk to her like that Potter!" Lily screeched back as Hermione tried to ignore them, mumbling under her breath as she lifted one of Avery's eyes to check as she obliviated the memory of duel before settling a discreet falsified memory into his conscious.

"But she disrupted a wizard's duel! That's-"

"Oh sod it Potter, you were losing anyway..." Severus said callously in his condescending drawling voice that really irked Hermione when directed at her. A shuffling scuttle ensued then, drawing Hermione's attention to see Remus holding James arms down from cursing Severus who stood smirking with Lily standing with a ferocious expression; she was surprised to meet Sirius's penetrating gaze on her and she quickly had to look away before he read the shame, fear and guilt in her eyes.

"You're such a greasy sodding liar Snivellus I can rearrange that hideous muck you call a face in my sleep! Just name a place and day!" James hissed, his face red with anger as Lily laughed cruelly at him.

"Oh really Potter? And what are you going to do, toss your luscious locks at him? Maybe stun him with one of those ridiculous poses you strike every day at those pathetic fan girls that can't see that your nothing more than a pathetic pretty boy!" Lily spat as James went, if possible, even redder at her comment as he roughly threw Remus off and took a step back.

"Jealous Evans? You and I both that that's shit or I wouldn't be second place in our year, now would I? Or maybe it's those fan girls your jealous of-"

"Oh don't start Potter! I wouldn't-"

"That's enough!" Hermione hissed, fed up with the two of them breaking her concentration as she turned away from Avery, only know finished with modifying his memory because of their ridiculous banter. Immediately James and Lily quieted down as Hermione glared at them over her shoulder for a moment.

It was then that Remus, James, and Severus gaped at her, Lily squeaking in a completely unlike Lily way that caught Hermione's attention.

"What?" she asked, her eyes flicking over to Sirius who was just staring back at her with unreadable eyes as he walked towards her. Thrown, Hermione was unsure what to think as he reached out a hand to her, she just froze up as the tips of his fingers gently brushed against her back, drawing lines on her skin and eliciting goosebumps to erupt.

"W-w-what are you doing?" Hermione sputtered her eyes wide as she turned around to face him completely, standing back up and meetings Remus's now blank face over Sirius's shoulder.

"When did you get a tattoo, Buttons?" Sirius asked back as Hermione balked at him.

Arching her body to peer at her back, Hermione could see the naked flesh of her back all the way almost to the end of her shirt, exposing most of her tattoo missing the appreciative glances from all of the randy boys, even Severus.

"Merlin's fancy knickers!" Hermione cursed in her shock making Lily giggle slightly in nervousness.

Mind reeling, Hermione turned back to face them, as she tried to think of an explanation, tried not to think of how embarrassing all this was...Sirius looked amused and a little...she didn't what to make of his upturn lip and husky colored eyes gazing down at her slightly lidded but she figured she knew him well enough to call it lust...which did funny things to her, like make her blush and make her heart speed up.

Her eyes flickered to Remus, who stood impossibly still as he gazed with an unreadable expression at the two of them**.** His amber eyes wouldn't meet her, his fists slightly clenched but not in anger, no, Remus looked sad. It was that that prompt her to move away from Sirius and to his side.

"I'm sorry!" Hermione whispered, staring at his face and reaching out her hand to lightly grasp his clenched one. Remus quickly took a step back and Hermione bit her lip, sorry for so many reasons.

"Remus," Hermione whispered, stepping slightly closer. "I know I should have told you about it...it's just a very awkward thing to talk about..."

"What? Telling me that you got a tattoo, hardly an earth shattering revelation Hermione, I would have been-"

"Wait, no Remus, I didn't go and get a tattoo," Hermione interrupted. "This mark appeared on my back in first year, after my first...after I grew into maturity." Hermione said with a blushing face as Remus's own face started to get a red tint.

"Oh...so that's—but wait! That's not okay! It just appeared onto your back? Did you tell anybody? Does Dumbledore-"

"Yes," Hermione cut in again waving her hand in dismissal, "Dumbledore knows along with Madam Pomfrey, the thing is though, is we still don't know why it appeared or how but it hasn't harmed me so I don't think it's anything to worry about."

"Yeah, and Severus and I can attest to Hermione having it for so long, we've been the one's helping her try to find answers." Lily piped in.

Severus slapped his forehead and shook his head in a 'oh woes me' way as a mere second later the bellows erupted with her words.

"What!" Sirius, Remus and even James screamed making Hermione and Lily wince. Lily quickly turned defensive.

"What? Why are you guys yelling?" Lily asked hands on her narrow hips.

"You mean to tell me that Snivellus has seen Hermione's bare backside since first year?" James cried jabbing his finger in Severus's direction accusingly as Sirius stepped in his direction looking like he was ready to hex the boy six different ways.

Rolling her eyes, Hermione crossed her arm and glared at the boys around her.

"Oh grow up you three. It's not like anything inappropriate was going on. Lily found out about it so of course we would tell Sev eventually..."

"Yeah, and what's the big deal anyway, it's only her back. Merlin, you lot are so old fashioned sometimes. What are we back in the dark ages where a girl can't show the naked flesh of her wrist until marriage?" Lily cut in, glaring at the boys.

"Oh pipe it down Evans;you sure do love to bark a lot!" Sirius bit out startling Lily who normally never hears an insult from him.

"Oh that's rich coming from you Black," she responded, her stance readily defensive as Sirius opened his mouth to retort.

"Hermione," Remus called her drawing her attention away from the arguing. "Why didn't you tell me about this when we started dating?"

Blinking Hermione frowned and decided for honesty.

"I just didn't think it was important to tell you. It's just my back and I hardly every think about it...besides you would have just asked me a whole bunch of questions I didn't have the answer to and worry about it when it really isn't much concern. Trust me." Hermione answered before sighing. "If you'd like, I can tell you more about it later...everything I know."

"Yeah, I guess that would be fine...I just, I don't know, I still wish you would have told me." Remus mumbled. "It bothers me that you didn't"

"I get it. I understand entirely; it just feels like another secret...I really am sorry Remus." Hermione responded contritely. I long moment passed before Remus sighed and reached out a hand to muse Hermione's head.

"Listen, just forget about it for now, we'll talk more later. You have to finish up with that lot anyway." Remus said with a rather intimidating glare at the three unconscious Slytherins.

"Right," Hermione responded, staring searchingly up at Remus who gave her a halfhearted smile.

"What are you doing with them anyway?" James asked abruptly.

"I'm obliviating their memory and placing a modified memory into their heads. That's why I need to concentrate or I could end up destroying their minds." Hermione said.

"And that would be a bad thing...why?" Sirius asked, crossing his arms. A long moment passed where everyone tried to think up an answer but couldn't, even Severus.

"You know how to cast an Obliviate?" Severus asked, his tone one of reluctant curiosity. Meeting his eyes for the first time in a long while, Hermione nodded at him before she sank down next to Mulciber and lifted one of his eyelids.

"Yes I can, and if you hadn't run away from me that day in the library I would have told you this and offered to show you how." Hermione spat.

"Whoa, whoa wait, you would teach Snivellus how to Obliviate a person? Are you mad?" James bellowed immediately, ignoring the angry glare of Lily who opened her mouth to speak but Hermione bet her to it.

"Oh honestly James, you are so ridiculous! Severus is my friend! And he's also very brilliant so if he wants to learn something I'd be more than happy to help him with it! I would do the same for you lot but you're all too dumb to actually ask me...well not you Remus." Hermione said with a small smile to her boyfriend.

Sirius and James opened their mouth looking very indignant but what they were going to say was interrupted by the sound of Professor Dodges magically enhanced voice.

"Ten minutes left, make it count."

Panicked at the sudden announcement, Hermione squeaked and quickly turned back to Mulciber. Taking a deep breath, Hermione quieted her mind and drowned out the sounds around her and focused. She thought about the confrontation, pictured it from Mulciber's point of view and then said the magic words, **'**Obliviate!**'** readily planting a false memory in place of it from her own mind. Done with him, she turned to her last victim, Wilkens and felt nausea churn in her stomach.

Guilt was the main reason why she was hesitant to manipulate his mind, thinking she had already taken something irreplaceable from him, his wand. It would be harder for her to make him forget too, since those raw emotions have a lingering effect on the mind but she had to do it. She couldn't allow this memory to live of her power and so she pointed her wand at him and whispered an apology.

She was done exactly five minutes later and enneverated the lot of them, turning to her friends who were waiting behind her with rather put out expressions.

"Come on," she said, tucking her wand away and reaching out for Lily as she led them away. "They'll be groggy for about three minutes so let's hurry."

"What about-" Severus started making Hermione turn towards him.

"Your fine, in Avery's mind, he used you as a distraction to get away from a villain so he won't be expecting you there." she responded as Severus raised his brows at her.

"That would be something that coward would do." Lily said to which Sev just shrugged.

"Not if I did it to him first." he responded. James scoffed and Severus glared through dark icy eyes at the boy.

"That's not something to brag about Snivellus! But then again you are a greasy ugly git-"

"Oh wait!" Lily surprisingly interrupted before Sev could reply, turning her wide green eyes to Hermione. "Your back, you can't go back out there with-"

"Oh right!" Hermione said, smacking her head with her own stupidity. "How could I forget?"

Immediately both Sirius and Remus moved to take off their outer robes before stopping when they saw what the other was doing.

"Sorry, go ahead mate." Sirius said uncomfortably, shrugging back up his robes and gazing away. Remus looked expressionless for a moment as he finished taking off his robes so Hermione smiled up at him as she took it from his hands.

"Thanks," she said making him grin slightly "won't you be cold though?" she asked, donning on his robe anyway and practically swimming in it because of how big it was.

Remus smirked, that smirk that he showed her sometimes just before he did something a little mischievous like steal a kiss from her in a public place like the Great Hall or distracted her from homework. It stirred her heart as it usually did as he leaned down so close; his lips brushed her ear when he spoke.

"You forget who your speaking to Hermione." he whispered before pulling back and gazing into her flushed face.

"Oh, right," she responded, _'Werewolf'_ she didn't say out loud.

"By the way, how did you and James know to come to us?" Hermione asked curiously as they started walking again.

"Oh! I was just wondering the same thing!" Lily said her eyes gazing at them curiously. "And you too Sev!"

"Well, Sirius and I have connected mirrors so Sirius asked me to come and I was already with Remus since we were on the same team."

"Isn't that cute, you two have matching mirrors..." Snape hissed out mockingly making Lily laugh and James and Sirius taking a threatening step in his direction. Hermione and Remus quickly stepped in the way before anything could happen.

"That's enough, you two are so ridiculous." Hermione hissed, fed up with them.

"Watch your back Snivellus!" James hissed, ignoring her completely, his eyes zeroing in on Sev's smirking face like an angry lion.

"Oh piped it down, Potter! You out of all people should be able to take a joke! Unless you're the type that dishes it out but can't take it." Lily responded

"Seriously, I've completely had it up to here with you lot!" Hermione cried, surprising Lily as she glared at her "besides, Sev still hasn't answered the question and I'm curious to know," Hermione continued, turning to glare at Sev suspiciously, "How did you and Avery know to come to the field?" she asked forcefully making Sev glare at her and cross his arms.

"Mulciber told us to meet up with him at the forest from the very beginning, why? What are exactly you trying to imply?" Sev asked back just as angrily, making Hermione defensive.

"I was just curious since it seemed like such a coincidence..." Hermione responded as he rolled his eyes.

"You should trust me more by now, Hermione." Sev mumbled as they finally came to the crowd, but Hermione just glared at him.

"I would if you would just be more honest with me, now wouldn't I? Instead of just storming away and allowing my thoughts to start wondering!" Hermione hissed back at him harshly directly into his ear so no one else would here.

Severus words were drowned out as Professor Dodge started to speak, drawing their attention.

"Come, come," he said, gesturing for everyone to get closer to where he stood. "That's it! So, we're done with the first duel! Everyone will remember that will have a grander duel at the very end of the year as a sort of tournament. It will have a full accumulation of what we've learned the entire year so don't think it's over just yet. Some of you did well enough out there. No one, except for one person, was able to defeat a villain though so there is much room for improvement!

"Now, you are all dismissed! You'll have your review of the duel when you come back from winter holiday, make sure you put back your ties in the proper spots! And remember practice, practice, practice!" he called as everyone started to move. Mulciber, Avery and Wilkens came strutting in just as everyone was putting back their ties, and Hermione could see even from a distance the tongue lashing that they were receiving.

She didn't stare at them for long, guilt churning her stomach as she saw Wilkens incredibly pale face, his eyes screaming his devastation as he spoke with the Professor. As she walked away from the field, Remus by her side and Lily on the other, Hermione gazed up to the window where she knew the Headmaster's office to be. She would have to speak with Dumbledore about what happened...and she would try to hide the new found fear she had of herself.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked her.

Turning her face to him, Hermione gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes and reached out her hand to squeeze his.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing."

* * *

A/N: Thanks again for the lovely reviews! I'm sorry it took me so long to post, I tried to find a beta for this story but nothing seemed to work out... :( If I have any volunteers than please, please! let me know! I'm dying for a beta for this story!

Anyway, I hope you all liked the duel! It came out differently than I thought it would but I like it well enough. Let me know what you think...I know it may seem like Hermione was being weak and it took her so long to act but I would have a really short chapter if she lost it quickly and ended the duel. Her kick ass moments will be in the future when she has to impress Voldemort so be patient ;)


	19. The Last Christmas

A huge thanks to my amazing Beta **Romantically Distant** whose help made this chapter!

* * *

"Hermione,"

"Hermione..."

"Hello! Hermione!"

The snap of Marius's fingers in Hermione's face brought her out of her reverie. Blinking, she looked up at the man in front of her from her seat in the kitchen; prominent wrinkles lined his elderly face, tired bags under his eyes that suddenly seemed to develop, to Hermione. She knew instantly that Marius hadn't been getting enough sleep, probably up worrying too much about her. It made Hermione frown as Marius stroked the grown up Zero; she sat obediently beside him, more his dog now than hers anyway.

"What's the matter?" she asked as he gave her a strange look.

"I've been calling you..." he said as Hermione looked away.

"Oh, sorry-"

"You've been doing that a lot lately, not answering when I call you, going off into your own thoughts." he said, the tone of his voice angry but his eyes sad and confused.

"I'm really sorry Mari-Uncle Marius." she quickly corrected, feeling a tinge of guilt at the look he shot her. "There's just a lot on my mind."

"And what is that?" he asked, his voice strangely guarded. Hermione eyed him; her eyes narrowed in suspicion. She just didn't know how to act with her 'Uncle' anymore since her remembrance and he seemed to be oddly impatient with her lately, which did not help. She hated the rift between them and yearned for the closeness they once had.

But unfortunately that desire did not have enough strength to make her confess the truth to Marius.

"Nothing, just you know, homework and classes. School stuff..."

"Yes, and I'm sure Dumbledore knows all about it, doesn't he?" he spat, suddenly raising his voice to her making her shocked eyes raise to his.

"Wha-?"

It was like a switch went off in him; rising to his feet abruptly he glared down at the table before them with clenched fists, Zero quickly scrambling away so as to not get stepped on.

"I always knew that this would happen! I should have kept my trap shut about you when you were little-!"

"Uncle Marius, what are you talking about?" Hermione asked completely baffled as she watched her Uncle suddenly lose it, his pale face going red with his indignation.

"I'm talking about you!" he bellowed, his eyes flashing angrily back to her, "I'm talking about how Dumbledore has taken you away from me! You are my daughter! I took you in! I raised you! I should know what's going on with your life, I should have the right to know and decide what's best for you!"

Shocked at all the emotions Marius had been suppressing for who knows how long, Hermione just gaped and listened as he flew off the handle.

"But now it's like...now it's like you're a stranger! And it's all that devilish, deceiving, conniving Dumbledore's fault! I should have never told him about your power, I should have listened to my gut and taken you far away from here!"

"No Uncle Marius!" Hermione cried, rising up to her feet and staring at the old tired man in front of her, "That would have not been best...if you would have done that..." she shivered at the thought as Marius just stared at her incredulously.

"And no, I'm not saying this because I wouldn't have wanted to grow up and be raised by you...you've been so wonderful to me Uncle Marius, better than I deserve!"

"Then why-" he started angrily but Hermione interrupted.

"…Because that isn't my destiny! ...My power, this...ability. It was meant to be put to good use! I could never just sit around at home and do nothing when there is so much pain and suffering brewing even as we speak!" Hermione cried, imploringly, as Marius just gazed back at her frowning.

"I don't understand..."

"I'm talking about Voldemort, Uncle Marius..." she enlightened, "I'm talking about the danger that is coming-"

"Don't," he suddenly cut in, his face dark as he looked away from her, "Don't bring that nonsensical codswallop into my home, Hermione!"

Anger immediately surged into Hermione at his words, as she gazed at the man before her with disbelief.

"How can you say that—?"

"I said, be quiet!" he bellowed, making Hermione's mouth snap shut. "Enough of this; go to your room! I don't know what that mad, old coot Dumbledore has been brain washing-"

"He hasn't been brain-washing Uncle Marius! It's the truth-" Hermione interrupted heatedly as his face became an unpleasant red color.

"Not another word!" Marius bellowed as Hermione angrily opened her mouth to argue, "If you say another word about this then I'm kicking you out!"

Shocked, Hermione's mouth dropped open in utter surprise at Marius's vehemence. A second later, tears started to pool in Hermione's eyes; an unpleasant feeling of betrayal shot through her. Stumbling back, Hermione shot Marius her devastated expression before turning on her heal and running out with a sob.

She quickly entered her room and slammed the door shut as she stumbled through her tears over to her bed. Surprise coursed through Hermione in reaction to her tears; the brunette did not expect to care so much about Uncle Marius. Yet, the teen found that she could not stop the tears. This made her realize, that despite knowing her true identity as Hermione Granger a muggleborn witch of two dentists who had raised and loved her dearly; Marius was her family now. Her surrogate father figure took over the adult figure in her life, the adult figure she subconsciously wanted approval of. Instead of just the Grangers' doting affection, she had them and Marius rolled up into one, old grumpy man.

Hurt coursed through her at the knowledge that he would push her words aside so callously, that he would ignore what she attempted to say. Didn't he care more about her and her feelings? How could he even say that to her?

Hermione kept replaying the scene in the kitchen, feeling angrier and angrier as time passed. There were so many comments she wanted to hurtle back at Marius, spiteful words to invoke some semblance of hurt that she felt. Honestly, she could not be a fault simply because she couldn't be completely honest with Marius and with a reaction like that why would she? In fact, she felt like she didn't even want to speak a word to Marius anymore. How could she when he just proved to her that he had an inept way of handling even a remote part of the truth?

Getting up from her bed, Hermione went over to her table and decided to alleviate some of her frustrations by writing to Lily. For a long time**, **the only sound had been of her furious scribbling before she finally finished and sent her letter off with a borrowed, tiny school owl. The one hundred percent truthful, now that both her tears and anger were abated**,** she felt a little ashamed at her reaction. She wasn't supposed to be acting that way anymore. She should be focusing on controlling her emotions; a confrontation like the one with Uncle Marius shouldn't have upset her so much.

Though if anything, Hermione was at least still a realist and realistically, the idea that she would be able to move through her life like nothing could reach her did not seem like something she could readily do. She doubted anyone really could and her relationship with Remus just proved that she couldn't be neutral.

Thinking about Remus, Hermione decided to send him a letter but paused with her quill poised over the blank parchment. She recalled the spat they had just a few days before; much like Uncle Marius, Remus had apparently been hiding a lot of feelings from her and decided to let loose on her.

She had been shocked to hear just how he had been feeling about her visits with Dumbledore, the strange way she seemed to close herself off to him. Apparently, snogging did not provide enough of a distraction for Remus not to notice Hermione's Occlumency.

Yet much like with Uncle Marius, Hermione could not tell Remus the whole truth. She couldn't tell him about her task or Voldemort, she could only tell him of her practicing Occlumency with Professor Dodge to try and help with her over loaded magical power. She knew the explanation didn't pacify him, that he still felt frustrated**,** but at the same time so was she. It wasn't as if she wanted to lie to him or hid away. But the truth wouldn't be much better...she just wanted to protect him from the hurt that the truth would bring, and it angered her slightly that he didn't understand that.

So she debated for a bit on whether to write him at all but knew she would anyway. So with an almighty sigh, Hermione wrote her letter.

Dear Remus,

She stared at those two words for second wondering if they sounded too boring of a way to address her boyfriend...crumbling the paper Hermione started on another blank parchment and tried again, biting her lip as she tried to think up of a less cordial address, one sufficient enough for a boyfriend.

_My Dearest Remus,_

Pausing, she cocked her head at her words before she giggled at herself and crumbled that up, thinking it sounded like the start of some cliché romance letter from the eighteen hundreds. She sighed at a loss of words; she never would have thought that writing a letter to a boyfriend would be so hard! Yet, it felt somewhat different than from writing to Lily or Severus... it being her first letter to her boyfriend and the new feeling**,** stupidly enoughfelt exciting, even if she had some annoyance towards her boyfriend.

Then again maybe because of her anger towards him, and he definitely harbored anger towards her, should she perhaps start the letter off sternly? Rolling her eyes at herself Hermione started again for the third time.

_Remus,_

_I've been thinking a lot over the last few days since our fight. A lot of feelings keep churning in me and I've found a revelation in those emotions. The first that came to me was: understanding. You are justified in feeling left out of the loop because honestly you are. There are so many things I can't tell you and even if I could, I wouldn't even know where to start or if I even would want to tell you at all._

_There's also a lot of anger in me: anger that you won't just forget about the whole thing, anger that you can't understand that I have enough on my plate, that it's frustrating to add your emotions on top of everything else._

_I wonder if I made a big mistake in even starting a relationship with you and that angers me too, above everything else. I'm angered that I've questioned this decision for so long because that's not right of me to do to you. I really do like you now Remus, even if I hadn't at the start... but, even though I like you, I still haven't stopped liking Sirius._

_Why is it like this? Why do I dream about him so much? Why is it that I still want him to break up with Marlene? What has he done to have such a hold on me? You're nothing like him Remus; you've always respected me, been kind and honest...Sirius is...he's such a bloody git, everything he does infuriates me. If I __were__ to date him we'd be at each other's throats every day. He'd demand answers of me, he wouldn't give me any space, and he'd make a mess of everything I have planned...he's completely wrong for me._

_If I could be with someone, you're the obviously better choice. You're so wonderful. You have surprisingly soft lips and when you reach out to touch me it's always with such a gentle pressure. Even __though you're__ constantly in turbulence with yourself, you have such peacefulness about __you; something __about your eyes and voice._

_Sirius, even when we were younger, has always been such a brute. Everything about him is forceful, from the way he constantly stands so close that you're overwhelmed by the scent of him and the tingly feeling of his breath on your skin, to the way he speaks whatever he wants with no apologies. I can never forget when we first met...he was so extreme right off the bat. First he sent me flying by tripping me, then he invaded my person and declared himself my friend without even taking into account my feelings, then he forced me into a supposedly haunted house and guilt __tricked me__ into taking a puppy! Well, he didn't really guilt me into taking Zero, but nonetheless I should have known that day that he was seriously trouble._

_Merlin, I've gone completely spare. I honestly think, given a chance, I could go on about Sirius an entire day. The only time I don't is when I've shut myself down emotionally through Occlumency. It's my only reprieve. Even when I'm supposed to be focusing on you my mind somehow always finds a way back to Sirius._

_There's something I have to admit. Its ugly and I'm ashamed of it but that day by the lake, when you told me you'd back off, a part of me screamed no because then I couldn't use you to try and make Sirius jealous. I used you to test Sirius's feelings and the sad thing is, is I think you know this...known it the very second I said yes. I think you know that even know I'm still using you; not to make Sirius jealous per se but using you in a different sense._

_There are so many things to like about you Remus. You're a bleeding heart like me; we have a lot in common. We can talk about school and books, we can laugh and enjoy each other's company but the same can be said about Lily and Severus. I am attracted to you; you've actually become quite the catch to most of the female population in Hogwarts._

_I don't know what I'm trying to say, or what I'm trying to prove to you, and to myself. I guess what I'm saying is that even though this spat is small, I really don't think I'll try and stop it from becoming something it's not because honestly...we both already know._

_Don't we?_

Silence rang around Hermione as she stared at those two little words for a long time. Tears welled up in her eyes and she suddenly snatched parchments and ripped them to shreds with angrily little exclamations before she plopped back down onto her chair and put the palms of her hands over her eyes to try and stop the flow of tears.

"You have no right to cry," she hissed to herself as the tears ran down her cheeks and cascaded off her arms, "You have no right to cry."

Easier said then done.

* * *

The rest of Christmas break moved at a relatively slow pace with the tension suffocating the household. It was due to this that Hermione asked Lily if she would like to join them at the Christmas Eve ball at the Potters.

Lily had outright refused at first but eventually caved into Hermione's begging. She felt great relief when Lily appeared in their fireplace**,** with a pout on her lips and two bags in her hands**,** a couple hours before the ball. She immediately introduced Lily to Zero, had her greet the still brooding Marius**,** and then bounded to her room.

"Right, so I got everything we will need to get ready." Lily said, placing the bags onto Hermione's bed and empty them unceremoniously. "I have to admit, I don't have a bloody clue on half of these things but Petunia had them in the loo so I just took everything." she said, gesturing at the assortment of curling rolls, pins, make up and a blow dryer.

Hermione eyed the things on her bed with clear distaste.

"Well you have at it. I'm just going to take a quick shower and dress-"

"Oh no**,** you don't!" Lily barked while reaching out to snag Hermione in a hard grip, her eyes alight. Staring into those eyes**,** Hermione could see all the promise of torture Lily surely would inflict on her and instantly regretted inviting her Christmas crazy best friend. "You are not leaving this room until I deem you proper enough for the public, got it?"

Sighing, Hermione threw her hand's in the air and seated herself down on her bed; making it her turn to pout. She watched as Lily plugged in the blow dryer and contemplated as she watched her friend do her hair.

"You know, if Uncle Marius wasn't a squib then there wouldn't be any outlets in the house or any sort of switches." Hermione mused finding for some reason this thought strange. Lily looked cocked her head for a second and shrugged getting back to her hair.

"Do you think when you get your own house you'll demand electricity?" Hermione asked; Lily didn't even hesitate to respond.

"Of course**,** I mean I suppose it isn't a necessity but I still like the telly and I would want phones and stuff..."

"But what if you marry a pureblood like...let's say for examples sake, James..." at this Lily immediately glared at Hermione and mimed barfing, "Oh stop that**,** Lily! Anyway, James wouldn't have grown up with the things we have; what if he said he didn't want a house like that-"

"First of all," Lily cut in, sticking up a finger and fixing Hermione with a stern look "I would never in a million years marry that toerag Potter! Second of all, if I did marry a pureblood, which I sincerely doubt since all of the ones I've met are complete prats, he would just have to deal with it! And since he would have married me he would obviously know already how I'd feel about it so it wouldn't even be an issue. I wouldn't marry anyone who isn't comfortable with the muggle parts of me**,**" she answered making Hermione nod her head in concession.

"Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't marry anyone who has a problem with muggle things either."

They continued to chat as they got ready, but they were both admittedly distracted; Lily nervous at the idea of attending a fancy ball at the Potter's and Hermione thinking about the future.

Sadly, she could see nothing beyond Voldemort, beyond her task. Any time she would even try to picture it; it all seemed unnatural and completely unreal. She supposed for entertainment's sake that, if everything went well,she would want to do just what she always wanted to do...to make the wizarding world a more equal place for everyone.

Suddenly, a vision of Sirius's face, his crooked grin, his captivating eyes, flooded into her mind. Embarrassingly enough, she could feel herself blushing for some reason; possibly for her girlish notion of thinking that Sirius would be a big part of her future if she could have one.

"Merlin, Hermione get a grip!" she whispered, reprimanding herself as Lily shuffled about with her hair behind her.

"Did you say something?" Lily asked.

"Oh no, I was just...looking at your earrings, their pretty." Hermione complimented watching with interest as Lily started to blush furiously.

"You think so?" she asked nervously, reaching up to touch the dangling snowflakes. "It was an early Christmas present from a friend."

"And is this friend named Benji Fenwick by any chance?" Hermione asked with a knowing glint in her eyes as Lily blushed further still but smiled beautifully. "Right, so go on and tell me how you and Benji have gotten close enough to be sending each other Christmas presents..." she said with impressed raised eyebrows.

"Well, you know how I told you earlier in the school year that I've been tutoring his younger sister in charms... so one day when I was planning to meet her in the library her brother comes instead and tells me how he's so sorry but his sister couldn't come cause she got sick and well, we started talking more and more and..." Lily explained, dragging out the end to leave Hermione in suspense.

"And he asked you out?"

"And he asked me out!" Lily exclaimed with an excited smile that made her green eyes twinkle.

"Brilliant! Good for you Lily, Benji is a genuinely nice guy...When did he ask you out?" she asked watching curiously as Lily's smile stilled for a second.

"Er…about...two weeks ago," Lily replied guiltily as Hermione frowned. Immediately her mind flew to Severus and she couldn't resist asking.

"Oh, and does Sev know too?" she asked making Lily's smile fall entirely.

"Yes. I did want to tell you earlier but we had the duel and you seemed to be running off all the time so there was never a good time to bring it up..." Lily defended contritely making Hermione shake her head.

"Yeah, no, you're right. It's alright." Hermione responded with a shrug even though she was a little hurt to be the last to know. "What did you get him?"

"Just something from the joke shop; he's surprisingly quite the comedian, or so he likes to think he is. I figured he'd get a hoot with a couple of those joke cards that are so popular right now. I had a real problem getting Sev something this year. I don't think I can top what I got him for his birthday."

Hermione couldn't help but think that anything given to Sev from Lily, even if it was a dirty handkerchief would make the boy happy.

"I got him a book." Hermione said watching Lily roll her eyes behind her.

"'Course you did."

"Hey-!" she replied indignantly making Lily laugh. "It just happened to be a very good and rare book on Occlumency!"

"Oh right, I forgot you want to teach him that...well I got him some art supplies since his parents won't get him any, which is for the best really since the ones I got him are magical!" Lily said with a tint of smugness.

"I'm sure he will love it."

In what felt like no time at all, Marius was calling them down so they could leave. When they went down, Hermione could see Marius raise his eyebrows at the mature way she looked, far more dressed up than her previous years, but he said nothing to her. It hurt, especially when he complimented Lily. But, luckily, Lily was there to take off the tension and soon Hermione forgot about it as they floo-ed to the Potter Manor.

Lily's grip on Hermione's hand was vice-like as they stepped out of the massive fireplace in the parlor next to the ballroom. Immediately a house elf popped up next to them and with a snap of her fingers, their clothes were clean.

"Welcome little Miss and little Misses friend." the bubbly elf greeted making Hermione smile and Lily gap.

"Hello Gum, this is my friend Lily Evans. She's my guest for the ball." Hermione explained to the elf that she had gotten to know over the previous balls. Just then Marius came through the fireplace.

"Oh! Gum will let Lulu know! Welcome Lord Black!" Once again snapping her fingers and making Marius all clean. "This way please!" she directed them out of the parlor and Hermione watched in amusement as an array of emotions flew across Lily's face, the most prominent being complete awe.

"It's brilliant, isn't it?" Hermione asked smiling as Lily turned to look at her with wide deer like eyes.

"Brilliant? More like unbelievable! Do you see how tall these ceilings are? And the marble floors and the crown molding and the-"

"Stop, stop! I've been here before and no it never does lose its grandeur!"

"I imagine not. Honestly, to think Potter has been living like a little prince! Almost makes me want to smash one of these fancy vases." Lily mumbled grudgingly making Hermione giggle.

"No, no! Gum begs Miss Lily Evans to not do that!" Gum suddenly said startling both girls.

"Don't worry Gum, she wasn't serious." Hermione comforted immediately shooting Lily a stern look to which she just rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I was kidding Gum. I won't break anything on purpose." Lily said with a calculating smirk making Hermione glare at her as the elf gave a winning howl.

"Honestly Lily!" Hermione chided just as they finally came to the ballroom doors. Lulu, the old house elf that had introduced her every Christmas, popped up next to them and bowed graciously.

"Master Black and Mistress Black, Lulu will be pleased to announce your arrival now."

"Little Miss has guest Lily Evans!" Gum announced excitedly to Lulu who simply gazed back at the other elf.

"Gum can leave now." Lulu ordered making the other little elf do so immediately.

"Do you not like Gum, Lulu?" Hermione asked and was very shocked to see the old elf's lips turn up for the barest of seconds into a smile as she turned away.

"Lulu would rather not say, Mistress Black. Please stand here beside Master Black and Miss Lily Evans please stand next to Mistress Black. Thank you." Lulu said very properly. "Lulu will announce you all now." She said before opening the grand doors and snapping her fingers so a very pleasant chime sounded in the hall and got a few early guests attention. Lily immediately reached out again to grab a tight hold on Hermione's fingers.

"A warm welcome to the noble Master Marius Black and his daughter Miss Hermione Black and her guest Miss Lily Evans**,**" Lulu announced in Mrs. Potter's clear voice. Polite clapping sounded as they descended the stairs; Hermione couldn't help but take a quick peek at Lily but found that her friend looked strangely calm as if the overload of emotions just shut down entirely. She could sympathize with her friend, remembering her first rendezvous was far worse.

Her eyes flicked back over to the crowd and fell upon the Potters waiting for them; Mrs. Potter's appearance divine as usual with Mr. Potter looking just as debonair as ever, it was James who looked the worst, his messy uncontrollable hair all over the place and his mouth gaping as he stared at Lily. However, Hermione could not talk when her eyes fell upon who was standing beside James.

"Lily?" James asked disbelievingly just as Hermione spoke.

"Sirius?" She suddenly felt breathless looking at him there. He stood taller than before, his dark hair falling into his eyes and wearing a suit, albeit he wasn't wearing the jacket anymore but still he looked mightily impressive. The smirk that slid on his face said that he knew it.

"Buttons,"

"Brother!" Mrs. Potter greeted, stepping up and kissing both of Marius's cheeks. "Happy Christmas Eve! And my-oh-my, what a sight for sore eyes the two of you are!" she gushed, reaching out and enveloping Hermione in a hug before doing the same to a blushing Lily.

"You must be the infamous Lily Evans; my son has been going on about for years and years now!" Mrs**. **Potter said, getting right the point much to James's embarrassment.

"Mum!"

"Oh hush James! Don't be such a spoilsport! My, Hermione I must say that you have just blossomed since I last saw you. Boys must be knocking down both your doors to get a date with you ladies!" She said coyly**,** making James smack his forehead and Sirius laugh his barking laugh.

"Mum!"

"Thank you Mrs. Potter! It helps though that we _both_ have boyfriends so not a lot of boys come knocking." Hermione revealed, her eyes focusing on James for his reaction. He didn't disappoint.

"WHAT!" he bellowed, shocking Mrs. Potter and Lily, making Hermione smile discreetly. "Evans! You've got a boyfriend? Who is it? It's not that greasy haired git, Snivillus is it? 'Cause that is just gross!"

"You shut your mouth right now James Potter! I will not have you embarrassing me in front of Miss. Evans! Show some decorum!" Mrs. Potter scolded; making Lily hid a very satisfied smile.

Somehow Hermione locked eyes with Sirius and they both shared a laugh at James's expense.

"I am sorry Lily, I could have sworn I raised a proper boy but he must have gotten lost somewhere! Anyway, tell me more about yourself and this boyfriend..."

Quickly, Hermione lost track of the conversation and decided she wanted to grab a drink to cool her rising body heat. She felt her blood coursing with adrenaline at Sirius's unexpected appearance and couldn't help but gravitate towards him.

"I'm going to grab a drink." she said getting vague nods in response.

"I'll come with you." Sirius spoke beside her, fulfilling what she had hoped.

"So, I didn't expect to see you here, Sirius." she said as Sirius stepped closer to her and placed her arm through the crook of his own in a gentlemanly gesture, invading her senses with his smell and presence as they walked past the faceless guest.

"James invited me like you invited Lily. Thanks to you now I won't hear the end of this until Christmas morning." Sirius frowned making her smile. "Did you see how pretty Evans looked? Did you see the way the light reflected like a halo around her head? Did you hear that she's got a boyfriend? What are we going to use to prank the bloke-?"

"You better not!" Hermione interrupted sternly making Sirius smirk.

"Well now Buttons, I think I will since it is your fault that I'm going to be subject to Potter angst all night long."

"It's not my fault-!"

"Tut, tut, tut Buttons. You spilled the beans on Evans new beau to torture your poor cousin and on Christmas Eve no less, you little fiend! Don't think I wasn't watching you and that little smile you had. It's enough to give one the shivers." Sirius said coyly, his husky like eyes teasing as they came upon the table all the way and the back of the hall. "We might have to initiate you into the marauder-hood with that kind of mischief."

"Har**-**har**,** I didn't do it out of some vindictive emotion; I did it so James would step it up a bit and realize that if he keeps acting the way he does Lily will find someone else."

"Right and you'd care that much...why?" Sirius asked as he poured them both some punch, Hermione rolled her eyes and accepted her drink, smelling it quickly to see if it was spiked.

"Well, he is my cousin, isn't he? Besides, it's not like I'm heartless, I want him to be happy." _And Harry to be born_, she thought, taking a couple of sips of her drink.

"You're odd, you know that Buttons...brilliant and odd all rolled up into one." Sirius said in a strangely gentle and fond voice, gazing down at her with his head bent, making him that much closer. Her eyes couldn't help but travel down to his lips and she flushed remembering their sweet, innocent childhood kiss. His lips were definitely plumper than Remus's and so inviting smiling that damn charming smile of his. She just wanted, no needed to...to...

Take a step back.

"I'll just take that as a compliment." Hermione responded, getting the scrambled pieces of her mind back together. Sirius did not take a step closer to which she was disappointed and grateful for all at the same time, still so utterly flustered. He did bend his head to catch her eyes and Hermione froze at the seriousness she saw.

"You should, Buttons." he said, reaching out to stroke a hand down her cheek before he smiled.

He is so beautiful. She thought, her heart physically lurching in her chest.

"I li—" …_ke you __a lot _was on the tip of her tongue. She could taste it, almost feel it hanging in the air between them...her confession surrounded her, overwhelming. Words she couldn't say, not yet at least. Emotions that words couldn't rightfully expression choked her.

It felt so wrong to be in a room full of people and only see one person. It felt wrong that he was the one on her mind when she was dating one of his best friends. It felt so wrong to want to reach out and touch his face, brush his hair out of his eyes, and place her lips on his. It felt so wrong to like him...but she still felt it.

"Don't." she breathed out softly, her eyes held captive by his.

"Don't what?" he asked just as softly, his thumb gently brushing her bottom lip. She sucked in a harsh breath; could feel a ghost seep into her heart, making her breath him into her lungs, made her legs tremble and her blood soar. _Don't do this to me. Don't make me like you so much when I can't have you. Don't leave me to feel these bittersweet emotions all on my own! Don't make me hate myself any more than I already do!_

Taking a quick step back, Hermione brought her drink to her lips and gulped it down, needing to give herself a moment to collect.

She moved at a perfect moment as an angry Lily and smirking James came barreling through the thickened crowd in an obvious heated argument.

"Hermione!" Lily suddenly bellowed when she spotted her. "There you are! Where did you go off to? I can't believe you actually left me there with this unimaginable fool!" Lily cried dramatically pointing her thumb at a frowning James.

"Well that is quite rude to say to the host! You obviously lost your manners along with your brains decided be Snivillus's little girlfriend!" James retorted nastily, making Lily turn with a great whirl of her fiery red hair and harshly stamp down on James's foot. James immediately cried out and crumpled as Sirius bust out laughing. Hermione smirked at James thinking he rightfully got what he deserved.

"You keep your idiotic mouth shut, Potter, or I'll shut it for you! You mark my words!"

"Oi! Some friend you are Black, and you cousin, allowing this maniac to assault me!" James cried as Hermione crossed her arms and gave a little sniff of distaste.

"Don't come looking at me for help, you completely deserved that James and you know it!" Hermione replied haughtily.

"Hermione!" James cried pathetically as Lily frowned in disgust at him.

Beside her, Sirius tensed up like a coiled snake, drawing her attention. Glancing at him, she could see his suddenly cold as ice eyes gazing fixedly at something ahead of them, his entire body completely immobile like a deer freezing still so as to not get noticed by the predator hunting it.

"Sirius?" she asked concerned, stepping closer to him with a frown on her face and following his line of sight, not even noticing Lily and James demeanor change along with her.

She could see the tall lanky frame of Sirius's mother; a colorless woman with pale face pale eyes and pale hair that might have been prettier in youth. Even from afar Hermione could see the sheer misery of the woman, the repugnant look on her pursed face, the eyes that held no interest in anything. Next to her stood a man with whitening hair combed back away from his handsome face that resembled an elder Sirius but like his wife, Sirius's dad held no luster and merely nodded his head like a robot.

And although the sight of them made Sirius stiffen, it was the sight of their company that had Hermione tensed.

"James, what is Abraxas Malfoy and Cygnus Black doing here?" Hermione asked sharply.

"Er..." James, looking shocked, just shot her and Sirius a quizzical look, as Lily frowned.

"Wait, what's wrong... who are they?" She asked

"Abraxas Malfoy, Lucius's father, head of the school governors and elite member of Wizengamot since 1959. He tried to pass a decree that no muggleborn wizard, not witch mind you since we don't even register in his mind, can hold the position of Minister of Magic and in 1968 he had Minister Nobby Leach taken out of office on false allegations that he had conflicting interests with the muggle Prime Minister." Hermione answered in one breath, before she paused, gazing at Cygnus.

"Blimey Hermione, just a name would suffice." James said making Hermione shot him a glare.

"But how did he manage to do that? Isn't Headmaster Dumbledore the Chief Warlock in Wizengamot? He should have the last say, shouldn't he?" Lily asked with a hint of anger at the injustice sparking a pitying look from Hermione.

"Lily, don't you know whose in Wizengamot right now? There's only bigoted pureblooded imbeciles and there's nothing Dumbledore could do against a majority vote, which Abraxas had...though how he managed to collect those votes is an entirely different matter..." Hermione explained. _Definitely with Voldemort's help. Probably even took out Leach on Voldemort's orders._ She thought.

"Well, what about the other one then?"

"Cygnus Black III is Bellatrix, Narcissa and Andromeda's father, Sirius's Uncle and he's our cousin. He's the Head of Magical Law Enforcement and, of course, a member of Wizengamot. He's the one who gets to sit next to the Minister and whisper words of treachery in his ear. Just last year he had a muggleborn woman sent to Azkaban for self defense against her pureblood husband who was beating her and their children. He said that it was a hate crime against purebloods because she stabbed him with a knife and that the scars and bruises on her body and her children's could have been her doing since the husband didn't show any improper magical spells on his wand and was an exemplary member of wizarding society."

"No! No, there's just no way the ministry would allow-"

"They would, Lily." Hermione cut off, gazing fiercely into her wide green eyes. "Just take a look at some of the past Wizarding trials in the public records section of the library. There are dozens more trails like this. I did a assignment on it for our History of Magic class."

"But why would they be here? Aren't your parents completely against that sort of thing? Your dad is the head of the department of International Magical Cooperation, right?" Lily said gazing at James with something other than anger for probably the first time in...ever.

"Yeah he does, and he's a member of Wizengamot too. Honestly, I have no idea why _that_ lot would be here. It's not like my mum would invite them, she couldn't care less about that side of the family anymore."

"Sirius, did your mum-" Hermione started.

"Don't call that ogre of a woman my mum, Walburga is her name, and no she didn't say anything but seeing as I've never really spoken to the woman my entire life..." Sirius cut in gruffly, a cold dark aura cloaking around him.

Hermione frowned but decided she would ask Sirius more about this later.

"Let's go ask your mum then, James." she said reaching out and grabbing Sirius's hand and gazing at James expectantly.

"Alright..." he said, running a nervous hand through his hair and messing up his hair even more.

"Wait," Sirius said, pulling gently on Hermione's hand causing her to look back at him curiously.

"What is it?" she asked gazing into his eyes that suddenly seemed to have feeling again as he gazed at James over her head.

"Do you have the cloak with you, mate?" Sirius asked.

"'Course, it's just upstairs. Why-"

"Fancy some spying? I'm in the mood to eavesdrop on some smelly old fogies." Sirius responded mischievously wiggling his eyebrows. James suddenly smirked as he nodded, Hermione and Lily just watching completely confused before it suddenly hit her.

"I'll just get a house elf to grab it-"

"What are you lot talking about all the sudden? Weren't we just going to ask your mum James? What's this about a cloak and spying; I don't want to get into any trouble...and it would be stupid of you two to go and eavesdrop on the two probably most dangerous men in the ministry." Hermione said as Sirius just rolled his eyes at her and Lily crossed her arm, James too busy talking to a house elf he called.

"Oh pipe it down Buttons. You won't be involved." Sirius said just as the house elf disappeared with a snap of his fingers.

"NO! No, no Sirius. Don't do this! If you get caught-" Hermione started as Sirius rolled his eyes again at her.

"We're not going to get caught, Hermione...we have a bloody invisibility cloak for Merlin's sake."

"But-"

"Wait, did you just say you have an invisibility cloak?" Lily bellowed, before glancing around and lowering her voice.

"Actually, it's my invisibility cloak and yeah, I do have one. Why? Are you finally starting to understand the magnitude of my amazing-ness Lilly luv?" James asked smirking as Lily glared back with a clearly disgusted face.

"Don't get ahead of yourself Potter. I'm actually not impressed in the least to know that you two have been sneaking around with such a thing so unfairly. I out to report it!" Lily screeched as Hermione nodded just as the house elf reappeared with said cloak.

"Careful Lily. No one, not even you, can threaten the cloak!" James said seriously, pointing a finger at the scoffing red head.

"She right! If you guys do this I'll tell your mother, James! I'm not joking-" Hermione started in making both boys shoot her dark looks.

"Oh sod off, Hermione." James said gruffly, taking Sirius and going off through the crowd of people. Hermione gave an indignant cry as she watched them leave, at a loss for what to do.

Turning to Lily, the two shared lost looks.

"I can't believe he said that to you after you just threatened to tell his mummy." Lily said.

"Oh! The nerve of him! Of the both of them! Honestly, they're being completely moronic! Don't they realize just how dangerous that is! Those men are not to be messed with and it would be devastating to end up in their radar! Especially when we have no idea what their purpose for being here is and trust me, those men are not here for idle chit chat."

"Then, maybe it's best that those two find out what their really here for-?"

"Oh, not you too Lily!" Hermione spat, feeling wired as she gazed around the hall for any sign of the two boys creating disaster.

"I'm only saying, Hermione, that it's better to be informed. Besides they are under a flipping invisibility cloak and its not like they could do anything in a room full of people!" Lily hissed in her ear in case of prying ears.

Gazing at red head, Hermione fixed her with her sternest look.

"That's not the point! What I'm trying to get across is that they can't just think running head first into the thick of things is a bright idea! What if they get bumped into in this crowd and the invisibility cloak slips? What do you think it would look like for the Potters to have their son lurking about listening on high officials of the Ministry? It would be devastating! Not to mention that it can drew unwanted attention to the boys-" Hermione ranted as Lily held up her hands.

"Okay, okay, I get it...it's dangerous!"

"No I don't think you do get it Lily!" Hermione snapped, "They're dea...oh, nevermind! Come with me." Hermione ordered dragging the perturbed red head away back towards the Potters.

"Where are we going? And will you stop pulling on me!" Lily hissed angrily, pulling her arm back ferociously. Unfortunately, it was with a little too much force and she lost her footing, stumbling back into a man behind her.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Lily gasped appalled as the man turned around.

He towered over the two of them, his form wiry and skin extremely pale. As he smiled down at Lily, Hermione had the odd thought that something seemed off about the man...something artificial about his face. He looked handsome though, dark raven hair combed in wave away from his face, deep blue eyes that looked almost violet.

"What is your name?" It sounded more like an order then a question.

"I'm Lily Evans," she responded politely as Hermione's mind whirled trying to figure out what felt so off about the person in front of her.

"And you?" he asked poising it more as a demand.

At the moment when he turned his eyes to hers, Hermione knew then just who stood in front of her; it was all in the dead weight of his gaze. The emptiness in them, the way his face seemed to be magically made much like a mask.

A mask to hide the monster beneath.

She had a split second to realize, a split second to allow herself to feel the trill of panic shot through her before nothing. The simplicity of drawing up her mental shields would have surprised her if she allowed. It didn't.

"Why should I tell you?" This time she poised it more of a demand.

Lily probably couldn't feel the subtle shift in the air as she gaped at her but she did. Keeping her blank eyes on his, she could feel him assessing her; prodding her mind and sizing her up.

Hermione allowed some feeling and thoughts to be read; curiosity, boredom...typical teenage emotions but underneath she let kept a carefully crafted feeling of darkness, the one that was frighteningly simple for her to conjure, lurk behind everything. She felt Voldemort prod past her mundane emotions and touch that darkness that, in actuality, was just good old fashion hatred. As he made contact she let a whisper of a thought through her mind.

_Fucking disgusting imbeciles! Every single one of them! I want them to die... _

Retreating, Voldemort withdrew from her and smirked, his eyes piqued with interest as she kept her face more like a petulant child and eyed him with suspicion.

"What was that?" she demanded outloud, ignoring Lily's confused and surprised face. Frowning with supposed ignorance, Hermione touched her temple as Riddle's eye brows shot up slightly before his face stilled again, though his smirk was more genuine this time.

"What was what?" he demanded as she dared to shoot him a glare.

"You just did something in my head, didn't you?" she hissed at him, letting that darkness show in her eyes as she used 'accidental magic' to set a stinging jinx at his hand and let a cruel smile adorn her face.

"Hermione!" Lily cried appalled at her friends suddenly horrendous manners.

Voldemort didn't even blink though his wand was out half a second later. Hermione let her smirk falter slightly but crossed her arms and stood taller as if unafraid. Voldemort kept his eyes on her the whole time as he flicked his wand and healed his hand.

Staring at him, Hermione let her smirk fall and a greedy expression flash on her face before becoming blank, as if bored again.

"Hermione," he drawled, as if tasting it on his tongue "Is only a moderately unique name..."

"What is in a name? It only matters if the person who asks for the name wants to remember it and for that they need a reason to like if they have a pretty face or...power..." she answered, putting an emphasis on the word power. "Since I have both, I know you'll remember mine."

"Perhaps I will."

"So now you tell me your name." she ordered back as he smirked again but it was quite unpleasant.

"Tom."

Raising her eyebrows as if surprised, Hermione pretended to assess him before smirking darkly pretending not to see the dark glint in his eyes.

"That's a horribly common name but," leaning closer Hermione smiled with no amusement. "I'm absolutely sure your far from common...so a name doesn't really matter now does it?"

"Hermione, Lily!" Dorea suddenly called from behind them. Turning, Hermione watched Mr and Mrs. Potter along with Marius coming towards them with smiles, though Mr. and Mrs. Potter's looked strained.

"Mr. Riddle, I hope these two weren't a bother," Mr. Potter said, shaking Voldemort's hand as Dorea came to stand between them placing her elegant hands onto their shoulders.

"On the contrary," Voldemort said with an empty smile, his eyes lazily glancing at Hermione who stood perfectly blank faced. "I found them to be quite... memorable."

"Well, that's nice. I hope you don't mind if my wife snatches them away, it seems our sons went mysteriously missing from the party, if you know what I mean." Mr. Potter said with a light, loftily laugh that sounded faux even to Hermione.

"By all means," Riddle gestured loftily as Mrs. Potter latched them both in tight grips with a tight smile.

"Until later!" she said as she whisked them away. Eyeing the pinched look on Mrs. Potter's face, Hermione knew that the Potter's were no fools and knew to tread around Riddle wearily. It pleased Hermione and heightened her respect for them.

Tilting her head back, Hermione checked Lily, noting her furrowed brows and confused eyes. She knew she had some explaining to do.

Thankfully, Hermione didn't have to explain her strange behavior for the rest of the night. Mrs. Potter stayed with them the rest of the way as they searched for James and Sirius. It didn't take too long for them to pop up and when they did Mrs. Potter still stayed around them, keeping them by the hall entryway. The boys shared pointed looks with them, clearly staying that they had to talk but no opening came for the rest of the night.

As they were leaving to the floo, Hermione purposefully looked back and sought out Riddle. His tall figure and slim pointed shoulders were easily spotted amongst Charlus and his other friends such as the top auror, Herbert Burke and the head of the department of ministries and the head of Regulation and Control of Magical creatures. In another corner Abraxas Malfoy seemed to be charming the pants off the a well known manager of Portkey's and floo network Jalander Cooks; in the other Cygnus and Walburga were talking animatedly to Wakanda Brightington an auror on wizengamot related to the soon-to-be Minister of Magic Milicent Bagnold.

Riddle's intentions became clear as day to Hermione in that moment. He and his ever-so-loyal band of death eaters were networking, preparing to use these people to further their cause.

A fire blazed in Hermione's heart and could not be quenched even as they flooed Lily home. It raged hot in her body even as Marius turned his full attention on her in the fireplace and struggled with his words.

"Listen Hermione," Marius started, rubbing the back of his head and shifting from foot to foot. "I...had a lot of things brought to my attention tonight and I...I, well..." Giving her a sideways glance, Marius sighed and tilted his head back as if begging the heavens. "Are you listening to me at all Hermione, or am I just wasting my time?"

Blinking, Hermione forced herself to the present and fixed her eyes on Marius. He gave her a startled look and reached out his hands to place on her shoulders.

"What's the matter with you? Are you alright? Your face..." Cocking her head Hermione blinked at his confused face.

"I'm fine...what were you going to say?" Giving her a prolonged stare, Marius just shook his head and sighed again.

"I'm...sorry Hermione. What I said before, the way I was acting...there's no excuse for it! I suppose I just got caught up in old feelings of spitefulness. You see, being a squib in a pureblood family...well, I just don't do well with being left out of the loop but I... I love you Hermione! You're the only thing, the only thing I've got! The only thing that matters!"

The force of Marius's hug jolted Hermione's teeth as he held her to his chest. Raising her arms, Hermione enveloped him and understood just what he meant and even the things he didn't say.

"It's okay...I understand...I'm sorry too! I love you Dad." Hermione responded quietly. She didn't even flinch when Marius clutched her even tighter and stood there patiently as he continued to hold her.

But as she climbed the stairs and left a smiling, teary eyed and jovial Marius, Hermione knew that it all didn't even matter.

See, something had happened to Hermione in the second that she came face to face with Riddle...

Something had irrevocably changed.

* * *

**A/N: I am so sorry!** I know the wait was ridiculous and I'm ashamed to say that I've had this done for almost two weeks already! I won't give you all any excuses but I will say that I won't make you all suffer that wait again.

I want to thank you all for the reviews!

I got some great advice from two reviewers about this story and I would like to thank them! From this point on in the story everything is going to change. Hermione herself is completely changed! It's going to get really dark from here and so I'm warning those with the faint of hearts to be weary.

Let the crazy angst, immense power and heart wrenching love scenes begin!


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